explanation why don't I blog

• Posted by Donna V March 3, 2015 1,920 views
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  I could be flippant and say I have Severe Procrastination Disorder, but its really quite simple when I can look myself . Its goes like this  

  REALIZATION and FALSE REALiITY-you know you are Transgendered , but clueless, l-ike me you may well have lived a life not felling 100% percent part of things just didnt feel right.Overtime you get the build up of the shell, and knowledge of expectations , so you know what to do , but REALLY you dont feel any joy in doing it, yes even when someone tells you its great . Over years I have managed to break down the shell, trying to minimise the impact on others . all the time making countless mistakes . The truth is these mistakes are unavoidable- ONLY when I accepted myself and the need to transition did I start to get control of my life and be able to change the outcomes from the false expectations to follow in a particular path

   

   LITTLE STEPS , TIGHT ROPE WALKING,LOOK around whose Talking.-NO surprise you get isolated and turned in on yourself and your fears .Even those who seem to share your life may be excluded , they have their fears and so do you -where will this end? what will happen when you losse you job, etc

  you really do need that tight rope dont you ? meanwhile everyone looks at the tight rope walker fearing a fall.Just maintain the balance.steady they shout below

  CYCles around again- what a complcated life -it seems to only be sustainable if you keep on a cycle on the tight rope . you are up in the air , but have to concentrate so much you are actually nowhere. disorientated and not connected .Some people are crazy why do they do those things?

   

  CHANGES , nothing solid ,No control needed, FLY , no need to bother WHY.NO justification

  IT just happens and was always going to

  -Maybe The tight rope snaps, maybe just the wind affecting balance-  CYCLESs always break,  Horror shock no safety Harness , no Insurance -You are there in the air , but its okay  because you knew you always had WINGS- some people just cant work this out ,somepeople will never have to learn to FLY though. SOmepeople dont have wings and insist no one else does but BIRDS.BUT for some of US -We have to  FLY, its a neccessity its our only way to be

  Love Donna