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GRS:one year later, my thoughts

  • Actually, it was one year Feb 10, but twice my wifi went out and my blog was not saved! So here I go again: Pick your surgeon carefully. Talk to people who have used the surgeon you like. Were they happy with results? How many follow ups? Are they covered under your surgery fee? How far away? I say bring, drag, bribe, a friend to come with you - you will need him/her. I did it alone, but was very difficult. You are in hospital almost a week, on morphine most likely (yes, it hurts!) And thé affects of it are still felt days later. I don't remember stopping to fill up before driving to New Hope. Bring undies that are snug enough to keep a maxi pad in place. You will be on your back almost all the time, I brought a couple pairs of scrub pants, easy to get on and off. Plan on throwing some undies away from bleeding, minor bleeding. You will be on antibiotics and may become a bit sick, and not feel like eating much. So much for surgery, what about after? How do you feel? Good question. I think my face is still a little "guy-ish" and every encounter with a ciswoman is a question mark. I'm always wondering if they know. At yoga class, they know I'm not a guy because you can't hide anything in yoga tights! As I posted in some other posts or blogs, at one job I had, nobody questioned my gender. Yet at my next job, and BTW, we had a cross dresser on our staff (he doesn't pass very well), I was outed by a few women pretty quickly. That was a bummer for me. Also, we have to wear unflattering t-shirts to work, which does not allow you much left to feminize your outfit. I could wear more feminine clothing at my previous job. Some customers would refer to me as "him/he" just to let me know I wasn't fooling them. Mostly women in their 50's, young people are very accepting. I pass 99% of the time....nobody says anything to me, just a sideways look! Yes, it hurts! Acceptance as a trans woman by women is an unknown. I do know my yoga peeps treat me as one of the gang. Anytime anyone has commented on big shoulders: "I'm a surfer, I paddle and swim a lot!" That works. My ability to work on cars: "I was a helicopter mechanic in the Air Force!" Have I ever regretted having surgery? Yes. I'm financially strapped because my insurance co wiggled successfully out of paying because my MD was not part of their plan network. This is not unusual because there are only about a dozen MD qualified to do GRS between US and Canada. I see so many beautiful women at work, and I will never be like that. That gets me depressed sometimes (I have major depression and Anxiety disorder, and ADD) and I say I'm ugly and maybe I'll get a "butch" kind of haircut and be a trans-man! So no matter what pronoun people use I won't be offended! I think this job is bad bc I can't make myself LOOK like a woman. The t-shirt just looks sloppy no matter what you do. And I feel like it makes me look like a guy. That goes to work on my anxiety, which affects my ADD. After surgery, body fat definitely shifted to my hips and butt. Now a lot of my size 4 jeans don't fit! I have prob half a dozen pair, plus as many shorts! So I'm trying to lose five more lbs...I gained a little over twelve after surgery. I could not go back to work for eight or ten weeks. This is major surgery, five hours or so. Huge cut from anus up each side of your leg joint up to almost even with your navel. Big flap of skin! Hope this helps. Pm me with any questions! I could go on and on, but I've hit the major points I think. My surgery was on a Tuesday, I was discharged on Friday, saw my MD on Monday, and again Thursday before I could go home. Many days in the motel on my back watching TV. That's it. Bring a friend, your will need him,her to run errands, get food when you start to feel hungry. Help driving if you drive. You don't want to sit too long. I did, no problem with the hoo-ha, but very sore! Robin

Comments

3 comments
  • Traci Lee O'Gara
    Traci Lee O'Gara xoxo
    June 10, 2016 - 1 likes this
  • Briana Q
    Briana Q Thanks for sharing Robin - all the best in healing in all dimensions of yourself. hugs, Briana : )
    June 10, 2016 - 2 like this
  • Lovely GG Lisa
    Lovely GG Lisa You look beautiful, if only you could see it and feel it ;) Unflattering baggy t-shirts are the worst! But your hair, makeup, nails and pretty smile make up for it. Remember: You are more feminine than a gross, man shirt! "I see so many beautiful...  more
    June 10, 2016 - 3 like this