Brave or desperate being true to who you are.

• Posted by Rose Cox September 8, 2014 Filed in Society Girl's Personal Blogs 2,011 views
  click to rate

  My friends comment when I told him was. “Rose no one does complicated like you.” At that time I had to agree with him, my change of address, change of job, change of career, starting my new career at the foot of the ladder was complicated for me but I managed to stay sane, I think, and grow in confidence and yes I'm still learning to be me, a lifetimes learning telescoped into 2 years, so far has allowed me to live my life as I want to be. Yes I'm miss-gendered daily; well I work with older people and in truth my voice needs a lot of work before it will pass however with my work colleagues, managers  and professionals I work with  it's different because to them I believe I am just one of the girls and for that I am very very happy and thankful.

   

    One comment I hear a lot is you must be very brave and really that is what this blogs about because no I'm not brave, I was desperate I could not live my old life anymore and the need to do something was very very real.. I bet most of you who have are in the process like me or have transitioned or are thinking about it, have had the same feelings. Telling people this is not easy so I just say no braver than anyone else.

  I am also told sometime be people I meet socially. “I  like you, it must be hard being different.” That one hurts I don’t want to be different not in the way they mean I am different but no more than we all as human beings are different,  every one of us is unique and that is something worth celebrating. I want to be your ordinary /extraordinary? real woman getting on with her life having a circle of friends to do girls nights out etc.  I am different and yes I do understand from the perspective of most people I am different but I myself do not believe I am that different. At work and in my volunteering roles am making positive improvements to people's life, small changes that I can do words, support, help and things that help them, I love being able to help and be caring not just a carer, there is no one who can be a carer without caring really. (It’s a hard job not financially rewarding, at least not in the UK, but rewarding non the less).

   

    OK where is this going? you ask and you would be right to ask this because really this blogs about how we can change people’s attitudes to us and in us I mean all of us that are seeking to: make are thinking, are fighting internal battles, are constrained, want or have made changes to bring our public us in line with our internal us. It is us the we who can help to bring positive changes so that people do not say we are brave and instead accept us as part of the gender we wish to be seen as. I do try to be a good person it's who I am really and I'm me a fledgling on the pathway still waiting to get those magical medical words "Yes you can start your hormones" and then later yes you can have the op you so so want.

   

    I will leave you with this thought really all of us have our own battles or own successes and our own setbacks but we know why we started on the road we have; and some of us know where we think we want to get to others are less sure. I just hope that the road is a smooth one for you and to tell you that together we are stronger and if we all help each other; then the road will be an easier one for us all. I know that the help many of you on the this site both past and present have given me, really helped make my journey an easier one so thank you so so much for your love and friendship xxxxx