sheakspears, again to be or not to be

• Posted by michelle/mitchell self August 19, 2014 Filed in Society Girl's Personal Blogs 1,594 views
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  What I thought of what was going to be a nice visit to my dads .

  has turned out to be a life decision for me.

  First of all here some history

  1 my father has Parkinson Syndrome. He has had it for a few years ,.He was doing well and has to do some physical therapy.

  But now the tide has came in... Now he is alone be cause in the year of 2013 my step mother died.

  Because of his age and his affliction .He has gotten on the topic of senor citizen health care .

   

  Yes the possibilities of home health care. And that he wants me to move in and take care of him.

  To do this this would me I would have to sell my home (the first true home I ever had) As he stated by saying “well you took care of your Mother and than aunt Iva now it time you take care of me... live here and cook and take care of my needs

  Yes I know I t could be don

   

  Some of my history

  I provided home health care for my aunt but a situation happen that I dont want what happen to me when I stayed with my aunts... She eventually went to a nursing home.

  For I couldn,t take care of the special needs she was needing Me being a biological male and she being a female according to our state home health care rules

  Not to long shortly she died ,but in her will and estate orders the house was was place on the block.

  So now from underneath me.the house was sold . There I was no job, no place to go to....

   

  Point ONE

   

  So I had to find a place to live quickly. Lucky I just received the inheritance money from my mom s death . So now I did get my place o f my own and paid some off .

  And now I get this news from my dad...

  We have talked and he has mention if he has to go to a nursing home he would have to sell his house .there if I was there and that day came .There again I would be homeless....

   

  Point number Two.

   

  My father does not know that Im transgendered , I haven't explained my situation

  NOW ...if I move into his place

  .My inner self (Michelle) would have to be stifled again. Then the 7 years of gender therapy is washed aside .

  B e side if he knew about my situation this would hurt him badly. For last Sunday Aug 17TH I went to church with him... I was constantly introduced as hello ? This is my son Mitchell. And of course the return salutations were returned .Gee I was feeling bad inside as I thought to my self “ Now dad you also got a daughter you just don't know it...” but dad never wanted any girls with my mom. When they were married..Now my main thoughts are of now!

  Do I sell out and risk having not a home later to go to after his demise or admittance to a nursing home

  Do I literally stifle and ignore the Michelle in side me. After waiting 20 plus years to release her bondage .be side the therapy sessions

   

  But if I dont not assist am I being selfish?

  or do I put my life aside again for others,,

  So this is a major decision I have to make