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  • 02 Aug 2013
    BigenderBigender or bi-gender describes a person who feels they exhibit two genders. The two genders may include any particular gender on or outside of the gender spectrum. Some bigender individuals switch genders (Gender Switching), sometimes using different personas for either gender to feel comfortable in at any given time. It is recognized by the American Psychological Association (APA) as a subset of the transgender groupOk that the technical definition of bi gender.Being Mitchell/Michellejust think how you would feel when you wake up in the morning and start get dresses and you look at yourself inthe mirror . Than feel con fused ,be cause the feelings in you heart and soul at that time dont match your body.Now do you dress for the soul or the body type.Ie I woke feeling female  ,do i dress as a female as i feel inside, but my body image says male.ok for instant i went for what I was feeling that very time...so i dressed female. Than i go out of my room and start to do things inside the house.      like this computer  and i see some thing that activates that deep inner male thats down there in me .    I feel the switch in my mind and soul  it moves to being male.  Now there i am  ,now having male thinking and now dressed in female attire. so it back to the bed room to change....... I.E i. went out with a friend later...  on our outing  some thing i saw heard or felt accitvated the female in me ,,, i mention to my friend oh oh i shifted . She said i know "Your Michelle now ,your whole method of expression has change . You r voice went higher but softer, and you demeanor  has changed also..... but hey girl....we got things to do!What was i to do  go home and change from male to female clothes. Than while i was driving to another mall i felt what i call "The shift"  and there i was talking to her and she saidoh oh l you change again. i said huh,  what !  She restated  you changed again.... now tell me where you want to go right Now Mitchell..I said Cabella,s for those not familar  Cabellas is a sporting goods store,,,,, see i had changed back to a male persona.So off to cabellas we went ....... be fore we got there I shifted again....... i saw some thing.... i veared to the next exit and i was headed to the other mallshe in dismay  "hey cabellas is that way, where you going ..... I said  were  going to  Cathrines, I need some  new tops.Well Cathrines in a  plus size women shop. So she said if we are going there than th an i need to go to Victoria secrets.Shopping went well till Victoria secrets  than the shift hits me . the e i was a male with male feelings and such in a ladies underwear shop.Blushing feeling as i did i had to make a quick exit and waited out side til she was finished..When she came out she said  .oh you had a shift. Now where we go mitchell .i said home.here we go walking to go back to the car,   a shift     i didnt say a thing to my friend,, she said"Michelle rose I see that. I said what,,,, she said you looking at that guy.....you changed again  .i can see it in your eyes.well that it for nowMichelle /mitchell
    3433 Posted by michelle/mitchell self
  • 19 Aug 2014
    What I thought of what was going to be a nice visit to my dads . has turned out to be a life decision for me. First of all here some history 1 my father has Parkinson Syndrome. He has had it for a few years ,.He was doing well and has to do some physical therapy. But now the tide has came in... Now he is alone be cause in the year of 2013 my step mother died. Because of his age and his affliction .He has gotten on the topic of senor citizen health care .   Yes the possibilities of home health care. And that he wants me to move in and take care of him. To do this this would me I would have to sell my home (the first true home I ever had) As he stated by saying “well you took care of your Mother and than aunt Iva now it time you take care of me... live here and cook and take care of my needs Yes I know I t could be don   Some of my history I provided home health care for my aunt but a situation happen that I dont want what happen to me when I stayed with my aunts... She eventually went to a nursing home. For I couldn,t take care of the special needs she was needing Me being a biological male and she being a female according to our state home health care rules Not to long shortly she died ,but in her will and estate orders the house was was place on the block. So now from underneath me.the house was sold . There I was no job, no place to go to....   Point ONE   So I had to find a place to live quickly. Lucky I just received the inheritance money from my mom s death . So now I did get my place o f my own and paid some off . And now I get this news from my dad... We have talked and he has mention if he has to go to a nursing home he would have to sell his house .there if I was there and that day came .There again I would be homeless....   Point number Two.   My father does not know that Im transgendered , I haven't explained my situation NOW ...if I move into his place .My inner self (Michelle) would have to be stifled again. Then the 7 years of gender therapy is washed aside . B e side if he knew about my situation this would hurt him badly. For last Sunday Aug 17TH I went to church with him... I was constantly introduced as hello ? This is my son Mitchell. And of course the return salutations were returned .Gee I was feeling bad inside as I thought to my self “ Now dad you also got a daughter you just don't know it...” but dad never wanted any girls with my mom. When they were married..Now my main thoughts are of now! Do I sell out and risk having not a home later to go to after his demise or admittance to a nursing home Do I literally stifle and ignore the Michelle in side me. After waiting 20 plus years to release her bondage .be side the therapy sessions   But if I dont not assist am I being selfish? or do I put my life aside again for others,, So this is a major decision I have to make
    1593 Posted by michelle/mitchell self
  • 09 Jan 2014
    Hello , good day to you all First of all thank for all that have had some conversations with me. Either on the forums or on chat. Yes the Gender Society website is very vast and world wide. Never thought I ever correspond with anyone on the other side of the world. Before I joined this site. And by you people' s photographs. I would never know what your country/ies you have visited or reside in would even look at on a first person basis. So thanks.   From some of you people .I have had conversations and the written words have shown, That we basicly we are all trying to have our feet rock solid on the stepping stones as we cross the creeks /rivers of our lives ..So we will not fall and get our bums wet. Being transgendered or not!   To those I have conversed with I know I have gotten some of you agitated by The use of the plural name (Michelle /Mitchell) usage on chat and other places . But that is the best way I know of to express to you . That some time you NOT going to receive at that time just a male or just a female response well thanks for reading   My favorite song quote “ Love is a Rose” By Linda Ronstadt     Michelle /Mitchell Self .
    1465 Posted by michelle/mitchell self
  • 04 Apr 2013
    Today i ventured out again on my own I went to my nearest chain retail store .so went shopping allover  the store and ended up in the women department.  Bravely    i went to the intimates section . There i look for a bra  and some panites that would be my size. I selected the  general color of white  for both. To have to ware around the house and about as nornal girls would do     L ucky when i got home i notice that the bra was a convertible strap one , NOW, that was even better than i exspected.   Now   i could ware it with differant  styles of  tops or dresses The greatest thing about this adventure was. I did it my self with out having a gentetic girl to hide be hind due to fear.
    1451 Posted by michelle/mitchell self
Society Girl's Personal Blogs 1,342 views Feb 09, 2015
just ventation

 feeling like i let my family down.
Here i am being whom i am as a embarrisment to my family.
Epecially to my father.
this is kind of strange be cause my dad came from a little country town in texas.
This man,a son of a plumber of a son of a plumber . was educated in a country school

 Now who would of thought that this man would graduate at the head of his class..
And was selected valvictorian of his universitys graduation class

my first recall of one of my let downs for him was.
when i was elvauated at my elementrty school for having a learning disability.
it was evaluated that i was dyslexic  and also had  an attention span problem
 SO  special edu cation  classes started

Yes im a member of the "short Bus" social group
 ridicule and kidding was a daily thing at school.  
Not be selected to play games was the norm
(kinda sound s like rUeDOLF  the red nose rein deer)
 
so there came anger mis management in which i took out on myself...by self infliceted body damage  ...
   as a child i did have cross dressing issues ,which in creased at the puberty level but was caught by family member.
It was treated as one did a bed weter  by hanging the items out the window for those to see
 So it did go on but really deep into the closet    ..purging and purging went on  be caause i though it was some thing
that when i be come a full man i would grow out  off

Later on 1980s   

     on pass the vietnam era  and making me a man issues of the government
 
ON the request of my mom i tried college ,but i was so far be hind in my reading level.
Plus my attenion span was still bad   be cause i was having a time dealing with the lecture sessions of classes
Now hands on no problem .like forensic or police sciences . got As and Bs

now in my life has come another dissapoint ment to the family
 45 years late in my life(2007)i went to therapy for my cross dressing and  other mental issues.
2015 i am still in therapy.  but now know the  WHY's   of my circumstances

As of right now the thought of me being transgender was uprisen to fact.
but there is a sub facture now we are working on that make my delemia even more complex than be fore
some thing called disassociated indenity diorder
 so now what the family going to think   



Comments

2 comments
  • Traci Lee O'Gara
    Traci Lee O'Gara Michelle...you HAVE to learn to accept yourself just the way you are, then learn to love yourself for just being you. Trying to live according another's expectations is about the same as a hamster in a cage spinning on the treadmill that goes nowhere! ...  more
    February 9, 2015 - 2 like this - Report
  • Heather Ann Martin
    Heather Ann Martin Traci Lee, a beautiful post sister.
    February 10, 2015 - 1 likes this - Report