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  • 16 Jun 2012
    Another little snipit me noodling around... sorry it's a bit distorted. Also I'm having a great girly weekend for Jessica again and was enjoying myself so much i wanted to give out love hugs to everyone at GS. http://vocaroo.com/i/s0fnsnqfvmEE
    2032 Posted by Jessica Nova
  • 24 Apr 2012
    I was not able to sleep so I decided to record a few of my piano songs on vocaroo. LOL digital recording at its best .. not . Still kept me busy a while. I sure wish I had a singer/lyrical writer to work with. Hope anyone that listens enjoys it. I am quite mellow on keyboards which is strange considering my background in rock music.   http://vocaroo.com/i/s0EvdQ7Y5KMa   http://vocaroo.com/i/s0DMA1T4zjfK   http://vocaroo.com/i/s0EvtehmM7nf   http://vocaroo.com/i/s0J7edoZsPZW     Also , as far as "transition" is going for me recently I've felt a little stuck about where to go from here. I would really like to get my head together and start doing some entries on this blog about my experiences up to this point in my life. I'm going to really try and focus and do this I think. Even if for no other reason as self therapy. Let's see where my blog goes from here. I didn't even know as a basic member I could write one until a few weeks ago. I'm such a dizzy brunnette!!   xoxo all Jessica 
    1895 Posted by Jessica Nova
  • 28 May 2012
    While the brother is away Jessica will play!! I've been having a great weekend alone. My brother and it seems his now live in girlfriend are away at a PDF field party. He had a grant to make a solar powered tube light gate sculpture and every one is to walk through it for new beginnings. Pretty cool huh? Except i've been dealing with saws and drilling the entire prior week while he made this thing. I hope it goes well for him but IM GLAD TO BE ALONE! I've had a very girly weekend doing all the fun stuff like red nails and falsies and my skimpy stuff I'dnever wear outside. I feel like I'm floating on air, I needed this. xxxx J
    1516 Posted by Jessica Nova
  • 28 Mar 2012
    Hello world, does, this work ? Can basic members really post blogs? Am I this dull and unable to find this out until now after all these years?? Test? Test? Test?  
    1367 Posted by Jessica Nova
1,342 views Jun 28, 2013
Reality , Dreams and Hope

Hi everyone. I would like to say I have not forgotten any of you and am sorry I have not been contributing very much here as of late. Honestly, I have been so overwhelmed with reality and feelings I could not stop to express anything. Anxiety and depression are no joke and I really think so many of us girls and guys who are trans can allow this to tip the balance in creating a healthy life for ourselves. My father ,who I have relied upon, had a stroke a few months ago and the reality that I was all alone in this struggle and there was no calvary coming to the rescue hit me hard and created tons of anxiety that I can't even begin to describe. I've felt like I was in no position to talk much with anyone or help much with any matters relating to being trans since I have been feeling so trapped myself. I've had to go back to working as a house painter which is not ideal but I have to eat . I just wear gloves for everything now, I love my long nails too much. Thankfully I'm not pounding too many nails. Anyways.. my reality for now is I'm gender queer. At least that is how I feel. Sideways glances, boobs not too big not too small. As the little girl swinging on the swing said as I walked by "IS THAT A GIRL OR A MAN MOMMY?!!" But that is ok. I had a break through recently. I'm tired of crying. Tired of feeling uncomfortable in public. Tired of 1st impressions. I am ready for some sun in my life and healthy fun. I still have my dreams actually more so then ever. I'm on the road now. Not possible to turn back and not wanting to very often anyways. This new me is ok. There are still many paths yet to choose. I have hope  for continuing contentment. I love you all so much ! It is ok to be me!

 

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0OihTZ4Ees3 

 

My latest song I'd like to share. If it gives a grain of enjoyment to anyone I'm happy. 

xxx Jessica

 

 



Comments

6 comments
  • Elle Horgan
    Elle Horgan That is the most difficult part of our journey, self acceptance. Without that you get nowhere quick. I know that was my biggest hurdle. Even though many wont accept you, soon they wont matter. Go girl, chin up!
    June 28, 2013 - 3 like this - Report
  • Jessica Nova
    Jessica Nova Thanks Traci, Elle and Chalice. Traci, that was what I was realizing about my life and thank you for your support. I just don't even know what to say to you. Love you tons. Elle you are so right about self acceptance. I've also realized that acceptance...  more
    June 28, 2013 - 2 like this - Report
  • Briana Purcell
    Briana Purcell Perhaps the largest hurdle is developing the sense of acceptance of oneself. This never happens in a day, even a week, and can take time and comes with the journey. I spent 6 months after I first acknowledged myself and then in the last month or so, I...  more
    June 28, 2013 - 3 like this - Report
  • robin w
    robin w Jessica, I am so sorry to hear about your father....I doubt what I am doing all the time.....do I want to go forward? I don't know. Do I want to go back? No....
    July 3, 2013 - 1 likes this - Report