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  • 02 Jan 2015
    Oops, I guess there is a limit to the size of blogs, so I'll continue.   My one New Year resolution is to not quit smoking in 2015. Now you may think that is a strange resolution, but I've found I never keep my New Year's resolutions anyway. So maybe the resolution to not quit smoking in 2015 will be honored just like all my other resolutions, that means not at all. YHou never know, it just might work.   I've heard that no surgeon will perform breast augmentation if you are a smoker. So right there is motivation to quit. I'd really like to get that done in the near future, so there's strong motivation.   Well that's about it from here for now.   I just want to wish all my friends here at GS an safe, prosperous, and very Happy New Year.
    1324 Posted by Daphne Anne Farr
  • 10 May 2015
    Well, this has been an interesting week on my road to womanhood. It's amazing that until up to a few months ago, I was unaware that the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) Health Services provided services for transgendered veterans. Now I am actually getting assistance in my transition.   This week, I attended a group session on Monday. Thyis was my first time with the group session. I must say that I am getting much more comfortable going out "en femme." This time driving city streets round trip during rush hour. The group session is in the South Texas Veterans' Medical Center & Audie Murphy Memorial Veterans' Hospital. People were holding doors for me and I was getting a few "good afternoon, Ma'am" from patients & staff alike. Works great on a woman's ego.    On Wednesday, I had a bone density scan. The test was very short, only took about 15 minutes. I got a call from my endocrinology doctor about an hour or so later telling me the test come back good and to start taking the Spironolactone as prescribed. I will be on that for 3 months before I get Estrodiol and the physical changes that will bring.    Thursday was the twice-monthly meeting of the San Antonio Gender Association (SAGA), another trip during rush hour en femme. As I said, I am definitely getting more comfortable going out.   Today was our local election day, voting for Mayor, City Council, and a few rivisions to the city charter. Unfortunately because of texas voter-ID laws, I had to do that "en homme."   Well, that was the week that was. Have a great rest of the weekend, y'all!
    1171 Posted by Daphne Anne Farr
  • 02 Jan 2015
    Well here it is, another year over a new one just begun. (John Lennon). 2014 was quite an outstanding year. It's the first year since 1964 that I spent the entire year sober.That is something I am quite proud of. The unexpected bonus from sobriety was the weight loss. When you consider how much I was drinking, it seems logical. I was averaging 12 bottles of beer a day at 96 calories each, that's 1152 calories I cut out from my diet. I don't know my exact weight when I stopped drinking. I estimate it was around 265 pounds. I'm now a much more comfortable 170 pounds. I know I feel a lot better now than I have in a long time. The last time I weighed 170, I was 21 and just got out of the Army. Seems hard to believe, but that was 44 years ago yesterday. At this time 44 years ago I was on a flight from San Francisco to  New York City.    It would have been nice if I'd had the courage to transition then. But that was 1971. Everything from being homosexual to being transgendered to being a cross dresser was all lumped under one label, "Queer." I was still in denial, then. I kept telling myself, "I'm a man. I need to act like a man. do like a man, be a man." I figured I was a combat veteran. I was 21, in great physical condition, I felt bullet-proof. Heck, the VC and NVA couldn't kill me, etc, etc.The problem was that every time I'd try to act the hero, I'd wind up getting my butt kicked, so I stopped trying to be a hero.   One thing I learned early in life was that I had this ability to diffuse tense situations with humor. The first example of this was once when my dad was going to give me a spanking, I made him laugh so hard that he couldn't spank me. I learned later that not all tense situations can be solved with humor, but I'd always try.    Well the best cliche that describes my current situation is "It is what it is."  I've given up trying to put a label on me. I'm not just a crossdresser, but I'm not sure if I want to totally transition. So I'm stuck somewhere in the middle. The funny part of it is that when I'm presenting myself, I feel like I am a middle aged heterosexual woman. I believe I look the part as well. When I am presenting myself as male, I'm like this happy-go-lucky fellow. I'm like the bartender in Billy Joel's "Piano Man." I'm quick with a joke or to light up your smoke, but there's some place I'd rather be.   Oh well, it is what it is. :) I made only one New Year's Resolution this year.
    1147 Posted by Daphne Anne Farr
  • 07 Jun 2014
    I have been blessed with a light, sparse beard. Lately, though, I have been noticing that about 5 - 6 hours after shaving, I can notice a beard shadow showing beneanth my makeup on my chin. It pretty much ruined my plans for a late-night "adventure last night.   I am, living in San Antonio for almost 40 years, a fan of the Spurs. Last night was game 1 of the NBA finals, and being a good fan, I dresses entirely in black, from my panties to my eye shadow. I shaved at 6PM, paying extra attention to my chin. I applied moisturizer and let it sink in until 7. Then I got dressed, applied my makeup, put on my jewelry, silver and black, of course. Then I put on my favorite wig, a long strawberry blonde, checked my look in the mirror, put my chair in the "TV watching" position, and turned on the TV as the pre-game show was ending.    Three hours later, after a thrilling 110-95 win by the Spurs, I was ready to get out of the house for a little bit. I figured I would drive up to the post office and check my PO box. There's usually no one at the post office at that hour, which is fine for me as I am rather shy about going out while dressed.    I put my lipstick, brush, keys and wallet in my purse, then checked my look in the mirror and was aghast. There, on my chin was a faint but very noticable beard shadow showing through my makeup. It looked totally unlady-like. I was at a quandry. I couldn't go out looking like that. That would move the feeling I get from going out from "fearfully thrilling" to downright terrifying, too much so for this old girl. I decided to stay at home and go to the post office on Saturday, when I need to drive right past it.   So now I need to "go back to school" about makeup and such. Well, it's been a learning experience so far, so why should now be any different?
    1041 Posted by Daphne Anne Farr
1,209 views Aug 02, 2015
Transition Update, August 2, 2015

Coming Out to Long-time Friends

 

This has been something I have been dreading for a long time. I found that it has been much easier to come out to friends that I've only recently met, than to come out to long-time friends. I have waited to tell my long-time friends and family until I am absolutely sure of going forward with my transition. This weekend, the stars aligned perfectly. I would be with some of my closest friends on Friday and Saturday, and later with my brother, so I figured it's now or never. 

 

As you probably know by now, I've worked a good part of my adult life as a professional musician, some full-time but mostly part-time. Friday night, I was working with my very close friends, Rusty, Molly, and Fred. Rusty and I have been playing together, off and on, since 1977, and we have been very close friends ever since. I've known his wife, Molly since before they were married, and I've worked with Fred since the early nineties. I waited until after the gig, when we were finished packing and loading the equipment, to have my "little talk" with them. To say I was nervous is an understatement. I guess it came as quite a shock to them, but the first thing Rusty said was to the effect that we'd been friends for so long, and he's not gonna let a "little thing like gender" come between us, and that he's there for me if ever I need him. Molly's reaction was priceless: "we need to go shopping!" Fred's reaction was pretty much the same as Rusty's. That was really a load off my mind.

 

Saturday afternoon I had my usual first Saturday afternoon of the month, playing with my good friends Angie and her sister, Terrie. Again the support was instant and gratifying. Andie's response was "I knew something was up when you got here wearing nail polish!" Fact is that I've been wearing nail polish every day for the last few weeks, that I'd forgotten that I was wearing it. (lol)

 

As is usual after the first Saturday, I went to see my brother after the gig. He lives fairly close to the venue, so I do that whenever I don't have a night gig afterwards. I didn't wait to bring up the subject. I told him about it as soon as I got there. I started by saying "Ric, I have something very important to talk to you about, and it doesn't involve money." Then I told him about my plans to transition. His reaction was "Oh, OK." Then within a few minutes, he said, "What do think about the Mets getting Cespedis?" That's the way Ric & I communicate, we get past the important stuff a quickly as possible and then get into the small talk. It's worked for the last 66 years, why should it change? The most important part was that he has no problem with me using the family name. In the near future, I'll be changing my name on GS and FB to reflect my birth last name. As an added bonus, I get to keep my initials, DAF. Just changing first and middle names from "David Arthur" to "Daphne Anne."

 

So as you can see, it's been a very important weekend. I am very glad I got all of this taken care of and I can move on with the business of my transition. I still have a few important people to tell, such as my children, but if they don't like it, I can handle it. I know I have some of the best friends, especially my brother, in the whole world. I am truely blessed.

 



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