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The splash was audible, the tear falling on the bathroom floor landed with a distinctive plop.
It, the tear had been trying to escape rolling to the corner of my eye, but I had in a desperate attempt to delay it departure from my eye focused solidly the top of the guy’s head,
The guy arguing with me,
The guy trying to verbally bully me,
The guy trying to make his point over and over again, like I was too stupid to have got it the first time.
My thick lashes coated with jet black thick mascara cradled the tear temporarily stopping its journey to the floor.
Eventually he had seen my distress, the guy had at last seen
The sparkles in the corners of my eyes,
My pose, that although I was backed against a wall with no way to escape, what my body was really saying was please someone
Let me be a tiny ball,
Let me be invisible,
Let me be not here right now in this place and in this god awful minute that doesn’t want to end.
One thought raced through my mind, disabling me making me incapable of reasoning, arguing even simple wards were beyond me - “Run, Run, Run”.
I made the bathroom door,with what felt like super human strength I slammed it shut, I fell in the corner, ice cold walls holding me safe and secure, but not secure enough.
What seemed like an hour later I found myself curled into a little ball. In my mind I was a young girl , in my mind someone was holding me stroking my now none existent hair their fingers running though my long auburn locks, each stroke brushing away the moments before, at least in my mind.
In reality the floor was icy cold, the room was small, the porcelain toilet stared at me from the other end of the room, its companion the over flowing bin looked on in abject silence.
I sat up my back hard to the solid white wall, then the tear fell - splosh. The tear determined not to be lonely was soon joined by a rain storm of its cousins, I sat adminst the rain storm of my overflowing emotions, my back to the hard white wall.
I tried to stop I really did but I couldn’t all the pain the loneliness, the rejection, the not being good enough with a side helping of pointlessness.
