The Occasional Crossdresser 4

• Posted by Kati Davies February 15, 2012 #wife acceptance  2,133 views
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  Fifteen and a half years ago I met an amazing woman. Incredible. She was everything I had ever wanted to find, and for some reason she seemed to like me too. A short time after we met, I told her about Kati, and although she didn’t immediately take me shopping or put make-up on me, she did seem to accept that I was a little different, and not much was said about it. We had a couple of other conversations about me over the next few months, mostly when we were quite drunk. She wasn’t keen on the feminine side of me, but perhaps in time she could come to terms with it.

   

  We married, and have been very happy together since then. A few ups and downs as all relationships have, but mostly ups, and plenty of them.

   

  Our conversations about Kati have been sporadic, and stilted. I have tried to keep this side of my life separate from our home life, and that seems to work. I have noticed, however, that it is becoming an elephant in the room. Whenever there is mention of cross-dressing on television or a conversation heads a little that way, we both clam up and try to avoid the topic. Because of this, I wanted to bring the subject up and for the past 18 months or so I have been trying to find a time, and a way to do that.

   

  That time arrived two nights ago. I had convinced myself that it was my hangups that were driving this uncomfortableness and that if were were just to talk about it then we could at least move on and accept what we had known for all these years. Talking about it, after all, was really all that we needed for me to let her know more about me. 

   

  But waiting 15 years for her to come to terms with me seems to have been pointless. I would like to say we are back to square one, but in all honesty it seems a lot worse than that. Our conversation involved quite a few tears and quite a lot of “it feels like you are having an affair”. I simply don’t understand why talking about it regularly and in a calm matter-of-fact manner couldn’t address this.

   

  I’m pretty low. I am finding it difficult to find the good in this situation. I do hope there is some that I can rescue at some point, but for now I just feel empty; the thing I had waited for so patiently - acceptance - has been whipped away from me and I simply don’t know what the next step should be.

   

  Any comments would, as ever, be very much appreciated.

   

  Love and hugs

   

  Kati x