I am Amanda and trapped in a male shell, since the age of about 14yrs. The turmoil of hating myself has been, sometimes devastating.

I'm married and luckily for me to a very understanding women. I have really challenged her compassion over the years. It took me seven years to tell her about my transgender life. She just said it was no surprise to her.
she has excepted me wearing only female underwear for the past seven years.
But no matter how much I try to suppress or appease my feelings, they still burn away inside.

I finally made the hard decision to go back to the doctors and seek medical help. This is so difficult as obviously my wife is going to struggle with everything. She does not like it but excepts it's something I have to do.

I have been to the Doctors to start the ball rolling again, I'm hoping with hormone treatment to at least find some halfway point.
I cannot see full transition working for myself at this time in my life, maybe one day it will.

Amanda

It's very good of you to share your feelings with us here.  It's useful for us to hear that there are others with similar stories to our own and I hope, it's useful for you too, because a problem shared is a problem halved, as they say.

Please do keep us up to date with future developments Amanda and let us know if there's anything you need to know.  Many of us have already been down the road you are just embarking on so we may be able to shed light on any concerns you may have about what lies ahead.

Best, Katie  

Having and understanding and/or accepting spouse is a nice thing to have, even if she does stuggle. I suspect we all do (either personally or as someone trying to support another from a partnersw perspective). It's not an easy path to follow and full of hard decisions to be made and very personal and intimate information being shared between individuals.

 

Good luck with your journey forwards.