Here is my coming out letter toy Mum.

Mum, I have something to tell you, and I want you to read this properly all the way through first.

I have been feeling uncomfortable about everything that makes me male. I don’t know anything for sure, but I feel better at the thought of being a girl.

Before you start thinking that I don’t act very girly, I should mention that neither does Sarah, or you at times. Sarah is into cars, but that doesn’t make her any less of a girl does it?

I’ve read lots about Transgender and GID: Gender Identity Dysphoria, I’d also like to make sure you understand, I am really honestly feeling like this and have for a while. It’s gotten worse lately because I finally found out that it is something others have experienced.

For a while now I just kept it to myself, kept my mouth shut and kept acting like it wasn’t bothering me. I’ve lied to myself and to you, it bothers me all the time.
I just had no one to talk to about it, on Tuesday 7th June, I posted a question on a website that a lot have used for questions about this sort of thing.


“It felt like there was a war going on in my head, like there is two sides fighting to get my attention.”
I got replies on that website from others that have had the same feelings.
I spoke to a few friends, and each one has said the same thing, that I should tell you, despite how scared I am, if you don’t accept it, maybe doing some research will help you understand.

The NHS website has a lot on GID and Transgender information.
Please be aware this was really hard for me to tell you, and please know that I am sweating and shaking as you read this, scared you’re going to reject me, or hate me for feeling like this.

If you want to talk to the friends I mentioned, I can get you in touch with them. And they can tell you too. I spoke to them first because I feel less scared when typing than when speaking. And they were more supportive than I could have imagined, I always fear the worst in people, and I always feel pessimistic.


Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope you aren’t mad that I waited so long to tell you.

---
That was stage 1 of the hardest things I've had to do, following this I then saw my GP, it was actually a little easier talking to a complete stranger, than talking to my own Mother..
This post was edited by Ayela Lawrence at September 8, 2016 9:04 PM BST

I think that's a really nicely written letter, I hope she took it well.

Telling family is maybe the hardest thing we have to go through, it certainly was for me.

I'm still grateful to the friends I had on this site at the time who read and made suggestions for my "coming out to family" letters.

Please keep us posted with your transition progress, Ayela.

xx

She thought it was all a joke till she got to the end.
Since coming out I've been to my GP to get a possible Gender Identity Clinic appointment, a couple of weeks ago I read that thanks to the government funding, the chances of getting a first appointment could take up to 16 months.

And I feel like I'm on my own for my transition, so I'm scared and spend most of my time thinking, probably too much.

I think the waiting list time depends on which part of the country you are on. But don't be too downhearted, transition takes a long time and there are things you can do to make a start now.

An official diagnosis is not needed to start transition. Find some safe venues and start going out dressed, meet like minded people, practice your make up, find what clothes work for your body shape. Book some electrolysis sessions - it takes years! And above all, do lots of research.

You don't need doctors to tell you it's ok to start doing thse things.

Don't be scared, just be yourself, be the real you.

And if you have any questions, these forums are a great place to ask.

xx

I live in the country side, I spend most of my time avoiding people, I know transitioning takes a long time. I just wish I could take a pill that changed me over night. The more I think about it all, the more I want to curl up and cry.
I'm what people call a loner. I have no friends (not by choice) and lack any type of confidence. And I was hoping the clinic would provide some support, or at least help my family understand.

Definitely begin electrolysis!!!  At worst, you won't have to bother with shaving again...but I feel it is the most important component to a successful ability to pass and live 24x7.

Best wishes always!

Traci xoxo

Ayela, don't worry. You are among friends. You don't have to make major changes all at once. Take your time. Ask us (your friends) and we will help you.