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Good morning ladies, how are all of you today? I just want to share with you all and maybe get some feedback. Friday night Feb 3 marked the start to the best 4 days of my life! I have always wanted to be a "girl" in public but was always self conscious about my appearance. So on Friday night I took myself out to a local spa and got my eyebrows waxed to a borderline female style, next was to head home and start some serious hair removal. I always have a goatee, that went. I normally have very thick chest hair, HELLO NAIR
This post was edited by Julie Sinn at February 10, 2017 3:30 PM GMT
Went to bed in my nightgown "reserved for very special occasions" and went blissfully to sleep. When I woke up on Saturday morning I had an appointment for acrylic nails, for the second time in 39 years I put on my female clothes,wig and did my own makeup (not very well but hey, I'm just learning) and went off to my nail appointment. I felt like I had never felt before. I was at peace. My weekend continued when my genetic female wife and I went out to do some running around dressed en femme. We went to Shoppers Drug Mart and to the grocery store, nothing exciting but I was on top of the world. I didn't care what people thought of me because I was in my own world. Where this turned into the best weekend ever was on Tuesday Feb 7th. I turned 39. I had booked a few days off and believe me,I made the best of it. Got on my best female outfit, did my makeup again to the best of my ability and with my wig on headed out. I went SHOPPING.
This post was edited by Julie Sinn at February 10, 2017 3:30 PM GMT
For the first time ever I had found the courage to ask the sales lady if I could try a pretty top on. She was so kind that even after she said yes she found me a top that I absolutely loved and ended up purchasing. A few more stores and was back home. I was supposed to go back to work but decided I needed one more day so I called in sick and spent all of Wednesday dressed en femme again. During my time off I finally decided that after such a wonderful few days and finally feeling like my interior matched my exterior it was time for HRT.
This is where life again spiraled out of control. My current wife knows all about me but doesn't want me on HRT because she is not attracted to females, so either I stay like this and everyday think more and more that I just don't give a crap or transition and loose my love. I'm lost and really just needed to vent off to some fellow girls. What would some of you do?
Hiya Julie. Some old school would say if you always had these feelings, you should have been honest up front, or not got married.
Not that easy, some people supress their urges, give up their own life for the other person. When I say its not that easy, it's a need. not some fetish. kinky part time hobby. It's an overwhelming desire to be the person you need to be happy, contented and living as the person you see yourself as. Nobody can tell you what you need to do, some people will tell you what you secretly want to do.A situation I have never been in myself having transitioned, very young.
As you get older, you might eventually come to subconciously resent somebody you love, for holding you back even though it is your decision.
Gender identity problems are a recognised condition. Getting your wife/partner educated regarding the condition is essential, with understanding she might be accepting of the inevitable and support you, even if it is only as best friends. It's a fact women marry men, who they see as supportive, protective, otherwise they would be lesbians. Every time this particular thing happens, there is a lot of soul searching and heartache.
I have done a lot of research into the causes of this condition, a lot I have posted as sticky topics in the general forum.
A typical example of a an acrimonious case, very upsetting. http://gendersociety.com/forums/topic/10112/divorcing-and-the-unreasonable-transexual
I suggest before you do anything, you both go to see a gender specialist.
Julie.. first congrats on your shopping trips and going to the salon. I take it your wife knows about you since she accompanied you out on one of your trips. You two should start trying to have some heart to heart convos about what you are going through with your transgender feelings. Christine is spot on in her reply to you. Educating her (and yourself) and confronting what is going on with this is vital. I've seen a few couples work it out through this process. One girl going even going all the way with SRS and is still with her girlfriend she met in college 33 years before even admitting she was trans to her. It's a long and at times painful process that can take its toll of both of you but that doesn't mean it can't work itself out. In my situation unfortunately I seperated from my fiancee when my gender dysphoria was reaching its peak. Many don't make it unfortunately too but nothing is set in stone. Take enough time and weigh things realistically with her and yourself and healthy progress can come .. All my best in your journy.
