hi there,can anyone tell me what i should do now?,the question is that my wife knows about my dressing,doesn't approve, but does let me wear panties every day.also if i am away from home then i can wear a nightie,but not allowed to dress in the house. how can i resolve this problem? or should i just be grateful for what i have got at the moment.
thanks penny xxxx

hi sarah
we have been married for twenty three years,no she did not know from the out set, i didn't really know my-self then, but who did?
yes i do realise that i am lucky to have a wife that does let me wear panties every day,and i am greatful,but also i feel the desire to dress at home too. penny xxxx

just because a man goes bankrupt doesn't all ways mean that he gives bad advice,
just bad at working out which advice to follow.

she found out because i told her.....hah the days of ignorant bliss, her reaction was disbelief, then she tried to accept me; but i was to pushy, i see that now, i guess i tried to run before i could walk: and her attitude totally changed from trying to understand me, to not wanting to know anything about my cross-dressing at all:
but that was ten years or so ago and we have worked very hard together to get us where we are today.
penny xxxx

Hi Penny,

As I see it, all relationships are built on compromise. Being with my partner means I can't do everything I want, but the pay-off is being with her. If the compromises become too much and aren't balanced by what the relationship offers, then it's time to leave.

Now, my partner is fairly supportive of my crossdressing, even to the point of shopping with me. I get to dress to go to certain parties and she is encouraging me to join the local tranny social group.

However, she has her limits, some of which don't really make sense to me. For example, she doesn't want me to shave my legs, even though I'd really like to do so. Why does she have this rule? I don't really know, but it's a compromise I'm prepared to make along with (slightly more understandable ones) about who I can tell and who I can't. This latter includes family, neighbours, etc, while I can appear dressed in front of friends. There are various other compromises which have to made as well.

So, what I guess I'm trying to say is that it is important to figure out just how important what you want to do is to you. If it becomes more essential than what your relationship offers then it's worth pressing the issue with your wife. Otherwise, people change over time and its worth hanging in there.

Who knows? She might change her mind about what she's prepared to permit. Or, just maybe, you'll change your mind about what you want.

Good luck and keep posting,
SP xxxxx

Penelope.

My wife was very understanding at first. Then she grew tired of the whole thing. Then, as the years have passed and we've stuck it out, she has read a few of the same books I have and doesn't fear the clothing anymore.

We have adopted "rules of engagement" that allow for "A,B & C" when we are together, while "X,Y, & Z" are prohibited, unless she's at work. Biggest rules: no wigs or silicone boobies when she's around and if I end up in the hospital or arrested "en femme," don't call her, call her mother (yes, mom-in-law knows: I came home one day from an en femme trip to the store and she was at our house looking for a wedding invitation she had misplaced... oops!)

You and your spouse will develop rules as you go along, also. Just give it time.

As S.P. put it, the pay off is "being with her." And, it's worth it.

Hope this of some help.

Sincerely, Yours,

Kari

My situation is similar, My wife knows about me, but dosn't really approved, I to wear panties every day plus I use some beauty treatments such as moisteriser with feminine smell. plus I 've just bought some clear nail varnish, and some Impulse body spray. I also fully shave my body which she knows about dosn't say any thing when I use my shaver. I would like to go further but main problem is how she would react plus I have a 25 year old son who is living at home he knows nothing about this, I don't know how to tell him. My wife and I share some times girly moments like shopping but only for her clothes I get very depressed as I would like to buy girly things for me.I have also stated self prescbing hormones wife knows about this but thinks I 'm totally weird but they make me feel feminine.

Any way nice to get this off my chest. as your situation improved, also forgot to mention I have a mobility problem and need my wife's help so I try very hard not to upset her

Reply if you want

Lots of love
Christyb

hi girls, I told my now wife right from the start of our relationship once it was clear we were smitten and she was fab about it. We share everything but like karri now i've started the journey there is real tension poss to failure! Can fuly understand her feelings the body change is after all dramatic!! And now i've started my eager ness is not making things easy for us, comes to the stage that i'm feeling it's me or ciao and that is making me feel very bad girl!!!! Just hope a posative end is looming the road is bloody difficult but i got to see it through.

Best of luck to you all in finding the answer i'm struggling love and hugs x sabini xoxo

I would love to say, whatever you do or did is cool, but it's really not. You should have told from the very start that you are CD or what have you. So therer wouldn't be any hurt feelings, or deception, or anything else bad.
Why must you live with any compromise for who you are? Is your wife or S/O living with any compromise? or did she put her foot dowm and you ignorantly oblige her? Are you truely happy, or is she?
Seriously what kind of relationship is truely healthy and happy, if only one person is happy?

I've been married over ten years now, and a year and a half ago I told my wife. She found one of my skirts a few months before that and had no idea why it was in the house. She thought maybe I was having an affair, or I bought it for her and didn't hide it well.

I am not allowed to dress at all when she's around. She doesn't even like the panty idea, especially since a week and a half ago, when I was bending down to pick up a house trunk, my pants slid down a little and she saw I had on a pair. She was not happy with it at all. Once or twice I didn't take them out of the dryer and she found them when doing some laundry herself.

So, for now, I'd say stick to the limits she has set. But, as some of the others here have suggested, slowly introduce more. This is a very delicate situation. Your wife may not want your dressing in the bedroom. Certainly talk to her about this, but only when she's ready for it. Don't force this on her right now. You have the right to be who you are. You are also in a relationship, and that's going to take work on both parts.

The days of ignorant bliss? Ah, yes, I remember those all too well. I also remember the fear of being caught because I was too careless. That almost happened one night.

On Sunday, after dinner, I thought they were upstairs while I cleaned up the kitchen. I figure I had a moment or two to put on hose and a skirt. The next thing I know my wife is there. We have a kitchen island, so it was hidden from her view. Everytime she moved so did I. I really thought she saw it. She didn't, but she did act rather weird for the rest of the night, which made me think she knew and didn't want to talk about it.

When I came out to her I mentioned that incident. She said she really didn't see it. However, when she saw my panties almost two weeks ago, she threw that in my face once or twice.

We do need to go slow on this. We do talk about being TG from time to time. Still, we have a long way to go. Especially since I am no longer allowed to accept phone calls at home from my Trannyweb friends.

So, like I said, approach the issue when she wants to. As you mentioned, being pushy will not help. Every now and then we do make a joke about my being Meredith. Those times are few and far between.