I just finished reading this book, "She's not the man I married" by helen Boyd. Its a follow up to her first book, My husband Betty.
Its aimed, I think at couples who are working through transgender issues and unlike the first book, deals with mainly how Helen is dealing with the issues she's facing rather than what being trans is all about (which is covered in excellent detail in her first book). First this book will not give you answers, only questions. Some you will have heard before, probably asked yourself. Others you will probably sit up and think, actually she has a point, why didn't I think about that.
Its not an easy read, its confusing, a mess of gender related issues and observations and lots and lots of reiterating that there are no easy answers, just lots of questions and then some!
That is where its value lies. Helen raises the issues we face point blank and directly. What sort of women do we want to be? What is a woman? What does it mean to be female? Why does she feel guilty for fancying him? Does fancying Betty mean she's a lesbian.
Its very personal and I found it a real insight into some of the issues and questions that my partner and I face. its also helped me look at my trans identity in a different way.
If you read this you will need to discuss the issues its raises. You might not be in the exact same situation as Helen & Betty, few people will be, but some of the prejudices from both outside and within the relationship are the same prejudices that we all face if we're different in any way.
I recommend you read it and have an open mind when you do.
As an interesting aside and an example of how we get pigeon holed by society. I bought the book from Amazon, and immediately my recommendations were full of lesbian literature and dvd's! Although I have no problem with being seen as a lesbian, it makes a point from the book very well, you'll have to read the book to see what I mean. (some of the recommendations were pretty good too!)
kate
(I previously posted this review on a different site but as no one seemed to have posted anything I thought I'd post here too)