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We girls over 50'

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  • Hi girls, I'm a little disappointed that we women over the age of 50 aren't representing ourselves more. Some of us spend 50 years or more going though the "I guess I'll always have to live as a man" way of life and never think this will change. For the first time in my life, I have a chance to change to the real me., 9 months ago I realized that for the 1st time in my life I can be me. I skipped the therapist phase, what a waste of time, I know who I am and what I want.,and went to a good friend who is a Endo''. We talked for several days and he wasn't surprised how I felt, which freeked me out because I thought everyone was fooled by my facade. He over saw my bloods and health issues and agreed to monitor me.He agreed that I was really in the wrong place, gender wise. With his help I started a regimen of estrofem, and spiro, . I'm 6 months in and I'm so in the right place!! The point of this thread is to get other advanced aged women to come forth and lets talk about us and how things are going and any concerns we have. Maybe we can ease some tension about starting HRT this late in life. I know even with a Doc.. involved I worry about being this age when I started. I just want to live out the rest of my life as a women. I know your out there and have question like, is it to late to become a women and what are the health risks. I'm not going to act as a medical professional but I will pass on my experiences and what my Doc. tells me. Please let me hear from you. Thanks, Lauralea

      December 31, 2008 5:04 PM GMT
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  • Hi Lauralea

    It doesn't seem as if you are going to get many replies. I am a bit older than you but still on HRT and enjoying life and transitioning.
    Despite all the warnngs etc I am a DIY person, but have an annual check up.
    <p>ooxxoo</p>
      January 16, 2009 10:02 AM GMT
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  • Lauralea, i to am thinking about the surgery, and how it will come out, the hole thing is i want to be sure i can still climacks, i have read alot about it but cant find the odds on that, but good luck
    Love Pam
      January 16, 2009 11:05 PM GMT
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  • Hello Lauralea, I am in my 50's and have been so deep in the closet for 30 + years! I have lost a 23 year marriage and I am in another one at present. I know I am a woman in my heart and soul and I of course dressing like a woman and I enjoy dressing in very nice clothing where I don't look "Outstanding" or Gawdy. I do like my heels and hosiery however, I have been trying to grow my breasts and I have been using "Zoft" chewing gum which supposedly yields great reviews! I am not satisfied by the shape they are taking on. They are not a feminine shape but rather a outward torpedo shape! That may seem humorous but it is far from funny to me! My nipples and areola are not changing at all! The issue I am really concerned over is, I am still basically in the closet! I wear a compression vest to work and among family and friends. I fear I look far too masculine in body and face! It often makes me cry when I am around no one! I so desperately want to live my life as a woman! I want to dress and go out in the world and rejoice who I know I really am! I also know I will lose my job, my friends and my family will reject me! I will not only lose them but my current wife as well! She is fine with me dressing up at home but as far as anything beyond that, it is the end! I am often sad and depressed. I did the therapist thing for two and a half years! I was even told by one that I'd make a very unattractive woman! I cried all day! I almost purchased Estrofem TTS 100, Aldactone (Spirolactone) and Progesterone from an overseas Pharmacy. I didn't because I had no one to monitor my progress and blood so I did not clot or have thrombosis etc. I'm at a loss and feel as you said, "I'll never become the woman I know I am" "I'll be male forever!" I can sure use some sound advise and a Endocrinologist friend too!
    You only go around once and this is not a dress rehearsal! So dress up and have fun!
      February 9, 2009 6:10 PM GMT
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  • Moderator
    3 1652 3‚ 0
    Pam, I can climax without difficulty!! I think it may depend largely on your surgeon and his technique. I went to Dr Suporn, his results are brilliant – sensation, depth and appearance. Sex is amazing!
    Choose your surgeon carefully.

    Erica, I hope this doesn’t sound at all patronising:
    It’s difficult to offer advice on growing breasts to someone who does not live fulltime as a woman, because it’s probably best for those people that their breasts don’t grow TOO much. So you could carry on chewing your gum, but I’m afraid I see it as pure quackery. Apparently, “Zoft Breast Enhancement Gum consists of Fenugreek Seed Extract, Saw Palmetto Berry, Fennel Seed, L-Tyrosine, Mexican Wild Yam Root, Pacific Kelp, Damiana Leaf, Dong Quai Root, Motherwort Herb, Black Cohosh Root Extract, Oat Grass, Blessed Thistle Herb, and Hops Flower.”
    I wonder who is monitoring your progress and blood tests after putting all that stuff into your system, there are a lot of toxins there, and they are not tested or researched in the same way as pharmaceutical hormones are. Recent research in the UK has shown some of the above ingredients to be potentially dangerous.
    There is no risk by the way of thrombosis when using the estradiol patches you mention. The only real risk of this applies to synthetic hormones (ethinylestradiol or Premarin) taken orally.
    Avoid Spiro, you don’t need it, and it does have associated risks (mainly from careless intake of potassium-rich foods).
    Bio-identical estradiol, is extremely safe, certainly less toxic than all those ingredients in the gum, tried tested, approved by the FDA, and proven to work. It is the hormone that is responsible for natural female breast-growth, there is NO alternative that is safer or more effective, and it is also considerably cheaper than quack “alternatives”.
    But could you handle living as a man with real breasts?

    A lot of people told me I would make an unattractive woman, I WAS in fact quite unattractive as a guy. I do not consider myself now to be attractive, but I am starting to pass more and more easily after surgery and hormones, and most importantly – I feel GREAT and am very happy. I also assumed people would reject me. They didn’t. My dad has a problem with it all, it is quite simply though – his problem.
    You have to decide about your current relationship and what is most important to you. I know I did the right thing.

    I’m afraid I’m a mere youngster by the way, I only started transition aged 42, now nearly 46. I do have friends though who started in their 50’s, they’re doing fine and are equally happy and look great.
    xx
      February 9, 2009 7:47 PM GMT
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  • Laura lee, you might want to contact Trans rights Virginia , a transgroup here in Virginia that has us over 50 gals in it . Yes were a political action group but we are also there to help anyone such as your self . If necessary P-M me and I'll give you my personal e-,ail . I'm 58 and I work with what i have ! I spent a lifetime trying to destroy myself , now it's time to rectify that ! Ellen S.
    Liberalism , a desease - E Shaver
      February 11, 2009 3:20 PM GMT
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  • why so concerned about climaxing? hasn't your hormone regime stopped it? lots of women don't climax and guys don't seemed too bothered if they can't make their women climax...

    is a desire for a big mindblowing climax a male thing or not?

    we hear teenage girls fantasizing about going out on friday night for great sex but does their night end with a bang or disappointment..?

    On the whole sex/climax thing I have to say I've been surprised to read of the pre-surgery ritual of wringing the turkeys neck by one last masturbation...I had to ask how did the guy manage that unless he'd transitioned without hormones...or is the supposed long lay off from hormones on the weeks running up to surgery allowing the male bits to work again?

    Then I see video of sex changea nd the person has really big/fullsize penis and testicles...have they really been on hormones for long? Have they been 'using it' right up to the last minute? Will they really be happy its gone or will they be the ones to regret losing it?

    Nicest thing for me about being on hormones was that it stopped it working and both penis and testicles shrunk and looked very insignificant and 'not very male' after a few months.

    (yes I know that this shrinkage may make problems at surgery stage but that is a matter for the surgeon to worry about not me)
      February 25, 2009 1:10 PM GMT
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  • Rose, you make a lot of valid points but you are assuming everyone takes the same meds at the same dosage. First there are the doctors that prescribe low dose estrogen in the range of 2mg oral per day. There will likely be development but it will be slow coming and have a minor effect on testosterone production. Next is there are different types of anti-androgens. Spiro is probably the most common and at a sufficent dose will stop T production and cause the testes to shrink in size. However, meds like Casodex don't stop T production but instead block T receptors. Therefore you can have a variety of influences on libido and don't forget that products such as Viagra are quite effective.

    As for me, on a scale of 1 to 10, my libido is -10, lol.

    Hugs,
    Marsha
      February 25, 2009 1:50 PM GMT
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  • Moderator
    3 1652 3‚ 0
    Hormones do not necessarily stop the ability to climax altogether.
    Wanting some form of sexual satisfaction pre-op is not a “male thing”, and there is nothing wrong with it, it is a human thing.
    “Is a desire for a big mind-blowing climax a male thing or not?”
    No. At least not JUST a male thing; it’s a female thing too.
    Sure, men and women may approach sex differently, or indeed they may not, but implications that sexual satisfaction is purely a male thing are totally ridiculous, and offensive to us healthy red-blooded women who enjoy sex, and would prefer, if it all possible, to be FULLY satiated!
    I find suggestions that enjoying sexual release means that one is motivated by male desires and therefore transsexuality is questionable, totally disgraceful.
    And just because you may have a big penis when you have SRS doesn’t mean you’re going to regret losing it.
    You don’t have to be celibate, under-endowed or have a chip on your shoulder about sex to be TS. Nor to be a woman.
    So some guys aren’t bothered if their partner climaxes? I don’t know many women these days who would stay with such a partner for very long. Fortunately the few partners I’ve had post-op HAVE been considerate of this, not that they needed to worry about it...
    Sex is great, I love it. My only problem is I don’t get enough of it.
    Dear Deidre, am I a man…?
    xx
      February 25, 2009 2:24 PM GMT
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  • but why need or take viagra?
      February 25, 2009 10:09 PM GMT
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  • That is really easy to answer Rose. Some gals have partners that they would like to continue enjoying sex with. Is something wrong with that? Personally I don't see anything wrong with a TS gal having interest in a positve sexual relationship and why shouldn't they use what is available? Atleast in the U.S. I don't remember reading where transitioning TS gals were banned from ever having sex again.

    I know some gals feel the world is ending as long as that thing is hanging between their legs and don't understand how any TS gal could live with it. Personally I think that is ludicrous because although I want it gone also, I can handle living with it until my surgery day comes. Besides that, the fact is the majority of TS never have surgery because of money or that it really isn't that big of deal.

    Hugs,
    Marsha
      February 26, 2009 1:25 AM GMT
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  • Hi there, Well I am not 50 yet but getting closer . I have done Laser and starting electro to get the hairs the laser missed, you now the ones that are not black any more LOL

    Also considering hormones and very interested in teh path rather than oral for clotting reasons.

    However one step at a time and hope to live the rest of my life a as female as well

    Hugs to you and all

    Brenda
      March 11, 2009 3:11 AM GMT
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  • I would like to see this thread continued as I myself am 49 and "getting on".
    Thanks.


    Stephenie :)


      October 5, 2009 7:41 AM BST
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  • I turn 50 this month. I honestly have no idea what the next few years hold for me. My wife has told me, and I agree, that I need to "get comfortable in my own skin," which could mean a lot of things. LOL.

    -Jessi-
      October 5, 2009 3:49 PM BST
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  • "Lauralea, i to am thinking about the surgery, and how it will come out, the hole thing is i want to be sure i can still climacks, i have read alot about it but cant find the odds on that, but good luck
    Love Pam"

    I was so disappointed in the 80's after going to the Univ of Oregon Medical library doing research on vaginoplasty,...perhaps being a Virgo I wanted something more perfect (or nothing at all) Wow! Things have sure changed since Christine Jorgensens day. The below link even has an interesting discussion on post-op sexuality and orgasms.

    http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/SRS.html

    The odds today of achieving post-op orgasm appears to be greater than 8 in 10. Personally, since I entered Tanner stage 2 touching my nipples sends waves of ecstatic pleasure through me, without even getting an erection. The above link suggests that post-op orgasms could be many, many times better than anything realized as a male.

    Janelle
    There is no Present in Time...Janelle
      March 18, 2010 8:30 AM GMT
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  • Hi Lauralea,

    I'm somewhat in same boat, perhaps in a little deeper water.
    I'm 62 years old. Over the years I had played around with Crossdressing, and from time to time entertained fantasies of being a woman.
    But the play, was just play, and the fantasies just that. Nothing to take seriously, or at least that's what I told myself when ever I pondered it, which wasn't often
    But as I progressed through my 50s the fantasies, instead of fading started getting stronger and more often, and I began to take them seriously. For the first time I began to think about transitioning as a real possibility. The idea grew more and more attractive, and the possibility at some point morphed into a probability.
    Finally, about 2 years ago I began a hormone regimen, like you without therapy, but unlike you without any medical supervision whatsoever.
    I started with Estrofem and Sipro. After about 2 months my nipples were sore to the touch, but at this point I got a case of cold feet. I don't think I had any doubts about my decision. I was just scared, as the probability now seemed like a reality.
    I discontinued the hormones, and resigned myself to Crossdressing. I continued in this vein for about 1 1/2 years with the pleasure
    of Crossdressing diminishing, and the desire for hormones increasing, an an inverse correlation as it were. Finally, after not much internal debate, about a month ago I resumed hormones, making a firm commitment to myself to see it through this time. Again without therapy or medical supervision. The time off hormones, did me a world of good, or so I believe, as it helped me understand that whatever desires are driving me can't be satisfied with CD alone. I need something fuller. I have this image of myself in my late 60s decked out in an plaid pajamas, a ratty old robe, sipping wine, and reading a good mystery, perhaps an old Miss Marple that I hadn't read in years.
    It's an image that, to me, is very very pleasing.
    gailS
      March 21, 2010 2:45 AM GMT
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  • Hi Gail

    You are still young compared with me . I am following a similar programme to you but wish you every success. You may get a few
    posts advising to get medical supervision. However Lena (on Crone) has different thoughts.
    <p>ooxxoo</p>
      March 21, 2010 5:25 AM GMT
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  • Lauralea,
    Grab the Brass Ring!! I am so happy that you have found "the right place".
    For the Girls over 50, It is better to experience "even a few" beautiful sunsets ....than to never see a single one.
    I started hormones when I was 54 an haven't looked back!
    Too many Girls start taking that junk "snakeoil" from the "health food outlets" and end up harming themselves..or at the very least, wasting valuable time.
    <p>Doanna Highland</p>
      March 21, 2010 12:43 PM GMT
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  • Doanna wrote, "Too many Girls start taking that junk "snakeoil" from the "health food outlets" and end up harming themselves..or at the very least, wasting valuable time. "

    Keep in mind,...I doubt Doanna has any experience with "health foods," a typical trait of those who believe Allopathic Medicine. Personally, I have such an adversion to Allopathic Gatekeeps, and how they step between people and their direct experience. Sure, allopathy has a role in society,...but in my opinion, its high pedestal position is indicative of the blind faith of the media-ted.

    I use the Evanesce ES and Feminol herb formula's,...my feminization results is consistant and sometimes better than pharmacuetical averages,...for example, I had significant breast spurt (Tanner 2) in week 3, versus the month 3 average of the allopathic approach.

    For me, I suffered through many years of unhappiness because 1) I detest Allopathic Gatekeepers, and 2) the side effects of pharmacuetical hormones is Russian Roulette in that statistics suggest at least 1 out of 6 experience harsh consequences.

    I've heard of few people having an allergic reaction to Evanesce. The ingredients have a few thousand years of experience,...for example, chaste tree was used by Romans before the invention of Christianity. I'm sure my liver would be allergic to pharmacuetical hormones,...I'd probably have better luck just drinking horse urine.

    Janelle
    There is no Present in Time...Janelle
      March 21, 2010 6:12 PM GMT
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  • Hi Janelle, I have no issues with you taking or encouraging herbal use but you need to approach it with caution. You chose to point out that using pharmaceutical hormones have a 1 in 6 experience with harsh consequences. I don't know where you got that but for the sake of my point I can accept that and that is precisely why I always recommend medical supervision while on hormones. Now for your herbal products you chose not to show any statistics and I can tell you that you can't because they just are not available. There is no documentation that the various herbals "ONLY" do what some take them for, there is no documentation for proper dosage based on individual characteristics of the individual, and there is no central reporting or record keeping of those who have had bad experiences with these products. You can only report your experiences and the fact is you are the only one just like you. You also made generalized statements like "I'm sure my liver would be allergic to pharmacuetical hormones,...I'd probably have better luck just drinking horse urine." How do you know? You have said here and in other threads that you don't believe in allopathic medical ways. Also your remark to horse urine is obviously directed at premarin products which actually happen to be the least recommended for HRT in MTFs. I don't believe you are up to date on the successful medical treatment of transsexuals.

    I also challenge the fact that those seriously considering transitioning would resort to using such products. More likely the gals who just think boobs would be a neat idea. Chances are they will still need breast forms to fill out their bras. Doanna is right, it is snake oil. Not just the herbal product, but premise that these products will improve someone's life that are taking them to transition.

    I challenge you to provide scientific documentation to substantiate these products do exactly what you say.

    Hugs,
    Marsha



      March 21, 2010 6:45 PM GMT
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  • Hi Joanne,

    Thanks for the encouraging word it's much appreciated.
    I have gotten plenty of advice to seek medical treatment, but at my age I don't see the need.
    Again, thanks for the kind word.

    gailS
    gailS
      March 21, 2010 8:17 PM GMT
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  • Regarding hormone production for "over 50's"
    It is well documented that the Testosterone production generally lessens after 30 or so yrs' of age. For guys, it is a bit of a "secret thing" ...never to be talked about.
    It is also true that guys produce small amounts of estrogen.
    When the testosterone production reduces, the effects of the estrogen can be more "obvious" and the male drive can be reduced.
    We have all heard of "guy boobs" LOL
    My point is, the older an a person is when they "make their decision"- the more likely it is that the person will have a low testosterone level to begin with. Often, the effects of low testosterone are attributed to what ever "herbals" the person is taking at the time. if they are taking something that is supposed to "feminize" them...they figure it must be working.
    Finally, and unfortunately, many people taking these "herbal remedies" are not under proper medical supervision - which means that they are not getting properly tested either. They may feel more "feminine"... but there is always the "placebo effect" to consider.

    Since many people here have "suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" by being in the wrong body...it would make sense to do it right while you still have your health.
    See your Doctor, see a "shrink", see an Endo, and ...see the Girl that you really are.
    Hugs to you all!
    <p>Doanna Highland</p>
      March 21, 2010 9:32 PM GMT
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  • Yes, my mothers generation believes in allopathic medicine,...do whatever the gatekeeper says. Hey, that's fine for folks who wish to have no imput in their health. I personally resent the allopathic system, and I'm simply posting that for those who want choice,...who want to take a active, informed approach with their health, there are alternative options.

    I do consider myself educated enough to know the difference between "man boobs" and the Tanner Scale.
    http://www.tgguide.com/Library/breast-development.htm

    To say that there is no information on the Phoenix Projects feminizing herbs is ludicrious. These herbs have been used for thousands of years. Of course, why would allopathic medicine endorse herbal use? There's no profit in it for them. In my opinion, they have one product which herbally blocks T much better and with less complications than the pharmacueticals,...which would greatly help in the ridiculous US prison system (another subject).

    As for me,...I have 100% health coverage,...get regular exams, blood work, etc. I make informed decisions about my health,...and not soley what allopath spews. I "use" allopathy,...I don't let them "use" me.

    At this time, I have feminization results that exceed the average results of pharmacuetical hormones. If this is simply a placebo (as Doanna suggests) that is perfectly OK with me. It would mean my mind is producing more estrogen than T. One week before beginning Evanesce ES and Feminol my T was 463 and a 194E. Four weeks later, my bust increased by 1 1/2", while the areola increased by 1/4". After 6 weeks, my hemi-circumference is 14.5 cm, and there is a 3" difference between bust and band.

    The only way I'd consider pharmacuetical hormones if after an orchidectomy,...when I could use a reduced dose. However, the gatekeepers just don't anyone have an orchidectomy. For me, I'd love to have a SRS in the States,...but I'll probably have to opt for overseas. Basically, I'm my own person,...I live the way I want,...not how the gatekeepers want me to be.

    I don't know how to be dishonest to get what I want. For me, being under the supervision of an allopath is dishonest. However, I wish all my kindred sisters the best,...no matter what process they use.

    Janelle
    There is no Present in Time...Janelle
      March 21, 2010 10:57 PM GMT
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  • OK Janelle, I know you are a wiz at religious studies, but lets look at this logically.

    1. First you seem paranoid of what you call gatekeepers. In the U.S. it really isn't an issue now is it, you have free well to go to whatever psych you want until you get the approval for what you are after. Or is it you are afraid they are going to tell you what you don't want to hear?

    2. Knock the nonsense off about there is no profit in it for pharmaceutical companies. Anything they package and put on a shelf they are going to make a profit.

    3. The website suggests up to 2 bottles of Evanesce ES and 2 bottles of Feminol per month at a cost of $40usd for the Evanesce and $36usd for the Feminol. My calculator says that equals $76usd. My estradiol from Walmart costs me $6usd. So who is the fool paying $70usd more per month because they are worried about gatekeepers? And do you still want to say pharmaceuticals can't make money on it. How much do you think the Phoenix Project people are making off of their stuff? I'll bet a hell of a lot more than the pharmaceutical companies are making off my $6usd prescription. DUH!

    4. And why would anyone even consider an orchiectomy now days? You are seriously using old information for what you want to call your transition, especially if you seriously have any thoughts of going overseas for SRS. The scrotal skin graft technique is now the most widely used method for SRS. Orchiectomies can prevent having enough tissue available for surgery, causing less suitable graph material to come from other parts of the body such as the abdomen. Some surgeons won't work with someone who has had an orchi.

    5. Oh and by the way. You talked about going overseas should you ever get SRS. Thailand now requires a SRS Recommendation Letter from one of those evil gatekeepers if you want surgery.

    Gatekeepers, lol.

    Hugs,
    Marsha



      March 22, 2010 12:17 AM GMT
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  • I joined this forum for information, and I'm getting lots of it. I use this info to increase my awareness of my process. I'm glad to hear that your (Marsha) gatekeepers are just right for you. I've been labeled an autogynephiliac, because I didn't know I wasn't to say that I have a propensity to imagine myself as female, and thus the gatekeepers believe I should be cured through "Reparative Therapy".

    Back in '82 some allopathic gatekeepers said a swollen lymph node was cancerous,...I went ahead and did the biopsy,...and then another surgery,...and then a simple lymphangiogram that ended up an operation for something else,...all to cover up one allopaths idiocy. A naturalpath reviewed the info and supplied me with sufficient evidence that all I had was a swollen gland, and did not need to go through 7 months of radiation as recommended by the allopaths. The truth of American allopathy is this,...if one MD says one thing, it is very seldom that another will contradict or challenge it. Obviously you have never had such experiences, and thus come off as "your way or the highway" regarding others transition.

    Gender groups have since told me about the "game",...frankly I don't want to play,...my integrety is more important,...besides, I KNOW that my liver would not like the pharmacuetical hormones needed while the T machine is active.

    For you, you keep hinting at how ignorance is bliss. For example, you mentioned it with your theology,...in that you don't need to read the Bible, for you already know everything. I can only imagine that you have never read the contraindications of hormone usage.

    Yes, I spend $80 per month on herbs that do the samething as your $6 pharmacueticals,...for me it's worth it. For you its not,...but I'm not downing your choice,...I can only imagine that you do the best for you as you allow. I cannot purchase the herbs in Evanesce for less than $200 separately,...so I doubt the transgender avocate woman who had her SRS 30 years is really getting rich having Cevan International produce her formula,...to me, for my condition, she is an Angel .

    As for orchidectomies,...although I didn't say I was getting one,...I was under the understanding that there was two types,...one that saves material for a labia, and one that does not. I mentioned orchidectomy in regards to having a lower T level. If I had no testes I would consider a low dose of pharmacuetical hormones. With all the damage that allopaths have already done to me,...including the needless removal of my spleen,...my body is incompatable with high doses of pharmacuetical drugs. If that makes me less transgendered in your eyes, that's your thing.

    Janelle
    There is no Present in Time...Janelle
      March 22, 2010 2:29 AM GMT
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