OK guys...nice topic Matt...question? Why us instead of the trillions of available GGs? This site is not a meat market, so it is a little puzzling as to why invest the time in here? I would understand if y'all wanted to pick up girls and did that in other sites, but as you've found out, there is little of that going on in TW.
And truthfully, the guys in here have been good people...so I am not trying to discourage your participation in here, just curious as to what is the attraction for you to a Tgirl.
Thnx...
Traci

Hmmm...just seems "limiting" to me...I do not look at gender in a person, but instead, fall for the person...if that person is a GG, a male, or a TGirl, so be it...but the good news is there are good people like yourself out there, not put off by "our world", and that is nice! (smile)
Traci

Love that question - do we prefer CDs, TVs or TSs?

Truth is that it depends on the person. Some blokes like TVs, some have physical preferences, and like CDs and some like TSs. Equally, it's probably fair to say that there are just as many guys that fall for the person, and don't mind where they are at on the gender dysphoria spectrum, just that they like what's inside said lady's head. Of course, initial attraction plays a big part in that initial falling for someone, but that soon falls away in favour of what the person inside is like.

I have been massively attracted to girls in the past, who I have dated, and it became clear that the once the initial conversation had been passed and things became deeper, the attraction soon faded (on both parts). Others, it started the other way, and a real bond formed as it became clear that we had an increasing amount of things in common.

In other words - initial attraction is based on what floats your boat (and I like striking looking, leggy redheads), but what sustains that relationship is based on something much deeper. And taking that to a simpler level, it's exactly the same process that attracts you to anyone really - chemistry, and how you're wired.

But in my world - what attracts me to trans-ladies comes down to femininity - and how much more of it you have. You work at it, try harder, and turn it into an art. And I love you all for it. It's a weakness of mine, and one that I hope I never, ever tire of.

So - the answer's yes, now what's the question!

/K
x

Have you ever had a meaningful relationship with a genetic woman?
Please don't be flippant and just answer "yes".

Hi Janis,

If that question's for me, then yes.

A long on-off relationship with a school friend - and that's some going as I am nearly 40 now. In fact, I can see that birthday from here.

/K

Okay, this thread is difficult for me, because I have dated a couple of guys that I would call "Admirers" and I guess I have picked up some hang-ups about Admirers from those experiences. I have often been treated like a live sex toy and a bit de-humanized for sex.

I went out with a guy for quite a long while without this issue coming up...after about four months, he discussed how he thought SRS was a mistake for TS girls. I told him that I was planning on going to Montreal as soon as I could get the money together. This launched a big fight. So, I ask you...

"Can you honestly say that after SRS, nothing about the relationship would change?"

This is coming from a girl freshly injured by a man who lied to her.

Z

Keef,
I love your attitude and you certainly seem to understand WHY you are attracted to us girls.
*As for myself, I did the "Guy-thing" for many years. I had an "Ovarian wife"...and Children (I raised my two Children completely by myself from when they were pre-school age) ... and denied my needs - like most of the Girls here.
You have "hit the nail on the head" when you mention "Chemistry and how we are wired". In fact, we are wired quite differently from Guys - because if we weren't, we would only be fooling ourselves each time we dress in Womens clothing.
A phrase that always seems to come to mind since I decided to finally meet my Femininity head on - is in Hamlet, Act I - Scene III ,,

"And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man"

** You also addressed a very important point when you stated,

"what attracts me to trans-ladies comes down to femininity - and how much more of it you have. You work at it, try harder, and turn it into an art."

For years, I could only be envious ( the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" ... or misfortune in my case) of the freedom given to "Ovarians" while the entire time I was busily suppressing my own freedom. I may have suppressed my own freedom for a long time - but I did not destroy "that ...which is inside."
That having been said, I believe we do have a much better sense of Femininity than most Women because we have not "taken it for granted"... and you seem to understand that.
We do try harder...because we have seen through both sides of the "looking glass"

By the way Keef, I am Leggy and a Redhead!!
LOL
Hugs

-------------------------------------------------------------

"and my needs entwined, like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway, some where... in the night"

I'm thinking there are three basic reasons for a mtf TS not going ahead and having SRS. Financial, health, or a committed relationship. I also believe in the end it is the TS's decision which way to proceed. I think it is wise to listen to doctors, family and friends before making a decision, but in the end, the TS needs to be comfortable with whatever she chooses.

So Zoey what you are bringing up here comes real close to the topic of are men who like TG's gay. I think your example points out this guy likes the dangly between your legs more than the jewelry dangling from your ears. In my book, that is gay, which is ok, but obviously not the relationship you are interested in.

I have two preop (maybe no op)TS friends in a relationship that whenever SRS is brought up, one of the gals just goes into a rant about how SRS just isn't needed nor is it right for everyone. The only place she goes out to is a gay bar. My opinion is that she is actually gay. The other gal in the relationship has expressed to me that she would like to someday have SRS, but financially never sees it happening. In there favor, they honestly seem to care about each other, so that is what is most important. But I do see the one holding the other back from having her surgery.

Hugs,
Marsha

That is why we like you Matt.
Hugs,
Marsha

How did you extrapolate that from what I said Anna. Telling me that SRS is not the end all be all, when my first comment was there are clearly reasons why some TS's don't have surgery. Next is you have never met these gals so you don't know what you are talking about. You also seem to have selective memory because I said "The other gal in the relationship has expressed to me that she would like to someday have SRS, but financially never sees it happening. In there favor, they honestly seem to care about each other, so that is what is most important." Do you see it now, one told me she does want surgery and an added tidbit of info is the anti SRS one holds the purse strings. I was trying to make a point that they seem to have a bond that keeps them together although one will likely never have her surgery as long as she is with the other.

Hugs,
Marsha

Melody, are you aware that my comment was made in regards to Zoey's post about SRS? Do you know that SRS has something to do with genitals?

And I said there are 3 basic reasons some TS's don't get SRS. I did not say or imply anywhere who should or should not have SRS. Do you always take things out of context and read them so literal? And the part that says "I'm thinking", that means in my opinion, which probably means in my opinion, so it probably was just my opinion not some legal edict that you seem to want to make it out to be.

I don't owe anyone a damn apology because I did not say what you have concocted. You are the one who owes me an apology for taking my statement so far out of context. You are something special.

Marsha

And while I am ranting because you girls don't even read what I have written before you race to attack me, here is one more quote from the post you seem to want to attack me by trying to say I know what is right for all TS's.

I also believe in the end it is the TS's decision which way to proceed. I think it is wise to listen to doctors, family and friends before making a decision, but in the end, the TS needs to be comfortable with whatever she chooses.

So where does that fit in your hit pieces? Seems you missed that statement also.

Hugs,
Marsha

Face it Melody, you screwed up on this one. You were in such a hurry to attack me that you didn't take the time to make sure you knew what I was even talking about. And one example after the other I showed you were wrong and that still doesn't stop you from spewing your hate at me. Of course I use qualifiers because I am expressing my opinion, and I make no qualms about it being my opinion. But I do care when you, Anna, or anyone else takes my words and twists them around to mean something I clearly didn't intend them to mean. Your hatred of me went overboard this time and it showed in a big way.

Marsha

Melody, Marsha,

Time to "lighten up" girls!!
I "believe" that a good hug is in order right about now!

-------------------------------------------------------------

"and my needs entwined, like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway, some where... in the night"

I felt that Marsha wasn’t telling everybody how it is or should be but more explaining her observations from listening to her friend's stories.

Matt and Keef, I have a lot of time for you both and a lot of respect. You are both honest and open and seem quite comfortable with who you are as human beings. It seems you don’t mind being asked probing questions that when I am all to often asked in public, I find quite offensive. I’m sure you can appreciate that a lot of men treat girls as sex objects with no further requirements or depth to our personalities. You are both great examples for other men to follow.

Hugs and Kisses
Penny
X

WHOA!! WHOA!! WHOA!! Everyone take a freakin' VALIUM!!

Look, from my point of view, this little spat began with my question. So, let me enlighten those on both sides about it.

I don't know where anyone else wants to be in this journey. All I can speak on is what I have observed and what my personal experience is like.

So, this is it. I know several women who I would classify as "TS" who have no desire whatsoever to have genital surgery. They are happy with what's South o' the Border. They are not planning on SRS, nor do they in any way desire it.

I'm a litle different. I need SRS. I think about it often and it hurts me everytime I even think about it. My pain about this is acute. It hurts every day.

So, from my point of view, I know girls who I would call (lots of people would call them this) "non-ops".

There is a great big umbrella over all of us, with a legend reading "The Transgendered". It's meant to unite us, not drive us apart.

Zoey

One note: Anna-Marie. I have only been at this site for a short time. However, I've seen you attack Marsha personally in several threads. Is there THAT MUCH animosity between the two of you? Really, this ongoing fight between the two of you is one of the few things that makes me pause before coming here. Not taking sides, just something that makes me really shake my head with frustration.

Hi Matt,

Firstly, I admire your courage in putting yourself on the spot here.

My question is , based on another thread going on here, are you interested (define that as you will) in TG's in general, or just CD's, or pre-op TS's, or just post-op TS's, or some combination thereof?

Best,
Melody

I think I exhausted my supply of questions the first time this thread came around, lol.

I would like to say though, does it really matter who finds who attractive and why? There are lots of genders, (in my book) so go an play with them all, each has something different to offer!

The only 'concern' with guys is when they are just looking for their first 'experience' with a TG woman after seeing so much of it browsing online porn. Anyone genuinely attracted to our gender is a different matter as for them, the feelings run much deeper than simple curiosity or wanting to try something new.

I wonder how many girls here have ever had a relationship with another transgendered girl, either before they themselves embraced their feminine side or afterwards. For those that have, surely you can understand the attraction.

Nikki

Marsha, SRS isn't the be all and end all of matters. And as for your TS friends.. " one holding the other back from having her surgery".....sorry but that is the biggest load of cr@p i have EVER heard!. The Fact these two people care very much for each other, just goes to show you do not NEED srs to be happy.




Anna-Marie

Hi Marsha,

Your statement, "I'm thinking there are three basic reasons for a mtf TS not going ahead and having SRS. Financial, health, or a committed relationship." Seems a bit like you have set yourself up as the arbeiter for who is allowed into the TS clubhouse. I'm not sure you have the qualifications to do that.

I've always thought being TS is a gender thing - how one sees herself mentally. You seem to be saying the most important thing is one's genitals. If a girl has a cosmetic surgery rather than "complete" SRS, does that make her a "partial TS"? If a girl, for her own reasons outside your three "rules" chooses not to have SRS, is she not a TS?

I think you owe an apology to quite a few girls who have chosen to do what they feel is best for them rather than fit some sex organ test.

Best,
Melody

Marsha,

I may be many things, but "special" is not one of them.

I did read Zoe's post, and every other one in this thread. You can't excuse yourself there.

Why take what you say literally? Because it's what you said.

You use qualifiers like "I'm thinking" to say offensive things and then claim that takes you off the hook for your statements. Not just in this case, but in post after post.

You have a very narrow worldview and you seem to think others should adhere to it. Nobody is obligated to follow it, no matter how many times you state it (over and over and over...)

You are just Marsha Ann, one member here and not queen of the TG world.

Melody

Hear! Hear! Donna.

I have touched on this before but I'll mention this again. I is my experience, based on decades in mental heath work, that when people endure direct and indirect criticism of their Self for many years....they get touchy on some subjects. We,, as a group, are like this. I do not exclude myself. I've related how I blew up at a party where a TS (absent) was being laughed at. I realized later that it was a button and it got pushed hard. I reacted with anger. (My friends do not like it when I'm angry). I see this same reaction here frequently. Perhaps it's safe to react and get angry here where doing so in the real world would likely get us pummeled. When one of my Sisters gets upset here, I try, very hard at times, to look beyond the front and try to find what is going on to cause their behavior. I admit, that years of being used as an emotional punching bag at work have refined this ability. What I love about GS is the peace and acceptance here. I guess I am invested in keeping that ambiance, so I try to address the other persons core issues instead of what they present with. This has turned potential enemies into friends and respected acquaintances, although we may remain, respectfully, adversarial. It's not easy, it takes work, but some of my closest friends are people I could not stand when I met them. What I'm trying to say is that we carry a lot of cultural baggage with us. The male world deals with things differently. I have chosen to attempt to reject that interpersonal path and take the distaff way to deal with adversarial situations. I implore all members of Our community to try that approach. We have as much to unlearn as we do to learn. Reach out to an angry Sister. She's probably more like you than you think. We have a lot of rejection to work through. It is better to have friends than make enemies but no garden grows flowers without gentle care.

The best part of it? Aside from having a lot of friends and friendly acquaintances here that I would not otherwise have, I think that when I successfully maintain this attitude it is what moves ggs to chat me up in stores about what is essentially girl-stuff. Women want to talk and I guess I seem emotionally safe, if not very feminine. That was a totally unexpected benefit. So if you can not make the effort for others, make it for yourself.

Marsha, WHAT makes you such a god-damned expert on the subject when you are NOTHING of the sort!. You're no better or worse than the rest of us! so what might be right for you personally, may not be right for the next girl. Like i said SRS aint the be-all and end all of the matter & the sooner you realise that the better. It might be what some girls want but please do not presume that you know best, Its down to personal choice. Me Personally......i'm prefectly happy as i am TY very much



Anna-Marie

Zoe hon, i've said what i felt had to be said & its time i dropped the matter, cos life is too damn short to be bitching all the time. Its just 1 of those things & there are some things that myself & Marsha will never see eye to eye on ( & NO i'm not bringin them up.....lol).



Lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Anna-Marie

Marsha said:-

I also believe in the end it is the TS's decision which way to proceed. I think it is wise to listen to doctors, family and friends before making a decision, but in the end, the TS needs to be comfortable with whatever she chooses.

Anna said:-
Marsha, SRS isn't the be all and end all of matters.

I think thats what is called concurring. allbeit said differently. theres too many wanting what they don't realy realise the enormalities and implications involved. Why opinions have to get so personal beggars belief, because thats all they are, individuals giving their own view on a subject.. why words like venom and hate have to be brought into a healthy debate beggars belief..

You could'nt find anyone more feminine in her approach to life or as sophisticated as my Cass and she has no desire at the moment to opt for SRS, she is content as she is, perhaps that will change, but it won't make any difference to me. what is right for one might not be right for someone else, does'nt make for anyone being less worthwhile or less a person.

This post was edited by Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL at January 19, 2016 3:26 PM GMT

I haven't read all the posts yet, but this is a very interesting thread...

Is there really such thing as a true gentlemen who might truly like a girl like me? One who would be patient, caring, and understanding?

 

p.s.  I stumbled across this old thread, hope it's okay to have revived it...

This post was edited by M G at March 2, 2014 10:01 PM GMT

I have to say that I did meet a lovely gentleman online several years ago and unfortuately lost contact with him.  He liked me for being Suzy and nothing else and it didn't feel that he just wanted to hook up or anything but I did feel that there was a connection between us and wish I was still in contact with him.

Madeleine and Suzy-

 

I am really glad that you revived this important topic. The thread got way off target to another important topic so I am glad it is back again.

 

I have had many years  to think about this question, and I have come to the conclusion that life is simply a rainbow. You can articulate the various vermetations and combinations yourselves.  I think that the reason that some men prefer TG, crossdressing girls, is that this is the spectrum of the rainbow which their psyche has decided is most pleasing to them. Nothing perverted, but just a consequence of their thoughts given to the subject and their own natural passions. All perfectly healthy and grand. Unfortunately, I cannot speak from experience, but I fantisize about being intimate with a lean handsome guy ----as well as a TG, crossdresser. As a matter of fact, it is my observation that MOST of the conversations on TG sites where sexual relations are discussed revolve around two TG "girls" becoming intimate. This is just another sector of the rainbow. Diversity is a beautiful concept, and I believe we should all just let nature take its course and enjoy living. 

 

One aspect that my psyche does not understand is that, apparently, there are MANY people in the GS who are TG people who want to be as feminine as possible, but wish to have no sexual interactions with either men or TG people. Viewing that sector of the rainbow from my part of it does not seem logical, but I praise their resolve to be who they want to be.

 

Jacqueline

 

On TvChix.com (I may have said this before) there are many TG girls who don't want any to do with men but prefer TG girls which is odd for me.  As a TG girl, I perfer men than GGs or TG girls, no offence to anyone but to me this is a natural non gay to be with a man as a TG girl.
 
As you said Jacqueline, diversity is a good thing and we should celebrate, encourage and accept it.

Suzy you are correct most members of that site only want TG partners. Also most of them only want one thing and that is sex. Most of them are gay or bisexual and there is nothing wrong in that but , most of them are in denial. They say they only like females then follow that "With a little bit extra" In other words they are intrested in what is between the legs not the person or personality.

TvChix is just a pick up joint for sexual head cases in my opinion , but that is just my opinion. It does nothing to help Transgenders it does the opposite! It gives us a bad reputation and makes us look like a load of sex crazed loonies not normal human beings.

 

I recently closed my account there because I was blocking about 10 members a day. So why was I there? Well not looking for sex or a partner , in the unlikely event that I do find a partner it will be face to face in my day to day life.

 

I was there for one reason only and you can do a search for it on there @Suffolk_Police

It was me who got that police presence on that website because of my concerns about some members. The police did not have the resources to police it when the cut backs came so I policed it for them hence  my presence there. It drained my brain to be honest but I done my duty and had success in having some people looked into and removed from the site and that included a police officer who was reprimanded for his behaviour. Gives me the creeps thinking about some of the messages I had on there.

 

Everyone on that website should be very aware that there are some very strange people in this world.

 

You all take care.

 

Julia.

I think I should add that getting that Police presence there on TvChix was not hard work. Every police force has a diversity officer so , if you are a member of that site and want to make a difference then contact them. Having a local Police presence could make a big difference to others safety on that website. So just contact them with your concerns then they can be there for you too. I think there is only one other force on there and that is Tyne side as far as I can remember.

 

Again please take care .

 

 Seeing this can make a difference . Julia

This post was edited by Former Member at March 20, 2014 8:03 PM GMT

Cristine, Shye (GS Admin) said:
Marsha said:-

I also believe in the end it is the TS's decision which way to proceed. I think it is wise to listen to doctors, family and friends before making a decision, but in the end, the TS needs to be comfortable with whatever she chooses.

Anna said:-
Marsha, SRS isn't the be all and end all of matters.

I think thats what is called concurring. allbeit said differently. theres too many wanting what they don't realy realise the enormalities and implications involved. Why opinions have to get so personal beggars belief, because thats all they are, individuals giving their own view on a subject.. why words like venom and hate have to be brought into a healthy debate beggars belief..

You could'nt find anyone more feminine in her approach to life or as sophisticated as my Cass and she has no desire at the moment to opt for SRS, she is content as she is, perhaps that will change, but it won't make any difference to me. what is right for one might not be right for somone else, does'nt make for anyone being less worthwhile or less a person.

Very well put Crissie : )

Some people especially the men don't like the word admirer, don't confuse the genuine admirer from the deluded closet gay or the common tranny shagger,  There are a few real genuine admirers real gentlemen, lovely personalities, great sense of humour and realy care on here, the thing is not to confuse this site with the other meat markets.   I admire the admirers we get on here.

Do the admirers admire you admiring the admirers?

That is my little brother, Matt.  Isn't he just so nice?

Here's a question.....

Where did all the guys go??????

I know I haven't been on here regularly but they seem to be non-existant these days. What happened? 

It's true Matt, people do come and go and I am in that category. I used to be very active here but now just pop my head in the door now and then, but it does seem rather empty without some people like yourself too. It's nice to have a variety of different people here and I feel that, at the moment, we are sadly lacking in men! 

 

Let's hope some of them make their way back here, I'm sure I am not the only one that would like to see them. 

 

Hello, my friends.  My name is Travis, I'm 45 and divorced with no children and I live in southern Michigan.  I'm also transoriented.  I happen to be attracted to trans women, those who were born male but now identify as female.  I lived my life as a bisexual man for many years and gained wonderful experiences from relationships with each binary gender.  But, more recently, I'm looking deeper into my desire to somehow find someone who has "the best of both worlds."  And, no, I do not mean that in a physical or sexual way.  My motto is: I choose who to be with based upon personality, not "plumbing."

What I'm searching for in a woman is strength and devotion to the relationship but also the fortitude to stand up to me should I make the inevitable mistake.  A woman who will stand beside me and, when I need it, will move behind me to deliver a swift kick to the behind.  Well, in short, folks - I'm looking for a partner.

It has been a while since I was in any type of relationship with another person.  And, like so many others, it didn't end well.  But I'm not going to give up.  There's a woman out there for me.

I'm disgusted, by the way, with the treatment of the LGBT community.  I wish there were something I could do to produce change and raise awareness for the problems that affect you and those who love and support you.

 

Erm that's nice Travis, but the name of the thread is New Questions For Men, so my question to you is what is yur question for men.  Also you do know thqat his isn't a dating site?
I do apologise if I am being rude to and I do honest hope you find your perfect woman whoever that will be.