Hi All,

While trying to make a point in another thread, I mentioned a TS friend's interest in life after "the op".

There were some posts addressing that and I've had several PM's suggesting that a thread about life after SRS would be a good topic here. So.....

I'll start with some questions off the top of my head:

1. I'm curious about how one's body image changes. I guess I'm asking, was it what you expected or did you find it to be a more profound change?

2. How do you deal with the ongoing hormone therapy? Is it different when you had been working to a goal and are now in a maintenance mode.

3. Dilation, not the obvious physical part which is more personal than I would ever address here, but the effect on one's life and how long it is necessary.

4. What is the difference between knowing one is a woman and finally being physically and legally one?

I'm sure others will have other (far better) questions, but it's a start.

Disclaimer: I have not had SRS, I've never taken hormones, and I haven't even had my ears pierced - please don't direct questions in this thread to me - I have no answers for you.

Best,
Melody

1. I feel better about my body, its kind of obvious so I’m sure I don’t need to go into details, but the bits you hate are gone, and the bits you believe you should have been born with are there. I can wear what I like without fear of bulges, or the discomfort of trying to hide them.
I am happy to be seen naked now, there was a time when that would have been the most embarrassing thing imaginable. I now always holiday where there is a nude beach, not because I’m an exhibitionist, because I hate tan lines, and because I can!
My body is far from perfect, but I’m proud of it now, whereas before – totally ashamed. Improved body image really helps in your day to day life I think.
2. Hormone dosage, I believe, should be based on effects achieved and time spent on hormones. One should not automatically reduce dosage after SRS. One does not magically start producing oestrogen, and contrary to popular belief testosterone does not “oppose” oestrogen, so the oestrogen you take does not suddenly become more “efficient”.
Ongoing hormone treatment is not a problem. I take my pills every day, smear on my gel, I never get bored with it. When I do go down to a maintenance dose it will just mean fewer pills, less smearing, no big change.
My testo was almost zero pre-op (caused only by a medium-low dose of oestrogen) so there’s no change there.
3. Regular dilation is crucial in the first few months, important for the rest of the first year, and advisable for the second year though not needed as often. When you start, your surgeon will give you strict instructions on how, and how often. After the first few months you will soon get to know when you can do it less regularly.
I’m 3 years post-op, the longest I’ve been without dilating is 3 weeks, but I know others who have gone a lot longer; I actually quite enjoy it! Contrary to more popular belief, your vagina won’t “close up” if you stop dilating. You might just feel your pc muscle around the entrance to the vagina getting a little tighter. If you are planning on having sex after not dilating for ages then now might be a good time. I live in hope so I like to dilate when I have nothing better to do, just in case…
Of course you can have fun with dilating, suitable sex toys count, as does sex with men (organic dilating), your stent can even double as a sex toy. If I had a regular sexual partner I’d never need to dilate again.
But it’s not rocket science, it’s not horrible, just one of those unknown quantities that pre-ops have to consider. It’s much like I imagined it to be.
4. Of course in this eccentric country you can be legally female whilst still being physically male, but I know what you mean.
As for knowing you are a woman… Yes I knew too when I was pre-op; I knew I was a woman so I knew SRS was right for me. But pre-op, you know you are a woman and then get undressed and see something partially male. For all the rhetoric in all the forums about not needing SRS to be a woman, there is something indisputably still there. For me, it’s wrong, it shouldn’t be there and I couldn’t fully function as woman without being physically female. And I don’t just mean sex. It is profound as it is subtle. No-one sees between your legs in daily life (though I’d like someone to), but you know what’s there and what isn’t. It makes a difference.
Others might not need a vagina but I do. And it is completely lovely to have one.
xx

Thank you Lucy for your replies. It always helps to hear directly....hugs Brenda

Lucy, I really appreciated your post. Thanks xxx Penny

Ditto, Lucy. xxx Zoey

Hi girls,

I know its been a long time since I was here last but I do feel the urge now and then to check in with the site. It helped me out in so many ways I like to share once in a while something of myself to hopefully give others something.

I am now almost 5 years post op. I feel a lot more comfortable in myself. I think the biggest change has been less thinking. I think a lot less about being a woman and more time just being a woman. I live my life in a somewhat stealth fashion as in if it doesn't come up I dont say it. I work as a business trainer so I spend all day in front of people. No one ever asks so I dont need to say. As far as people know I'm just a regular 30 something lesbian woman. I recently ran for parliament in the latest federal elections here in Australia. I had to do media and do interviews over the phone and I was never "read" and I think this a lot to do with the fact I never think about being a woman, I just am. I think my biggest concern was to not be taken seriously. I was worried people would think me to be some kind of joke.

I always knew I was a woman, always. I didn't need to have grs to know but there was always this thing that wasn't quite right. Now post op, things are the way they should be. I am a very naughty girl.... I dont dilate very often at all. I'm really no fan. I think it has to do with my lack of sex drive. I am currently not dating nor am I interested in casual sex. I have been intimate since the op and it was most enjoyable. (my advice is if you have a low sex drive dont date a nympho!)

As for hormones, I just wear a patch. I have bad knees which make it hard to exercise. This combined with the pills made it hard for me to keep the weight down. So my endo gave me patches. I wear them the same way a smoker trying to give up would.

Like Lucy said it is a wonderful feeling to be able to see yourself or been seen by others naked and still just be the woman you have always known yourself to be.

At first post op is wonderful as everything is new and you need to get used to it. People want to ask you questions about it all the time and its a hot topic. I found people to be really curious about things. I never got any bad reactions. I guess i'm lucky there. After awhile though. All the people you already know have asked their questions and if your like me new people dont know there are questions to be asked. I think it all becomes a little less special and this once all consuming thing becomes a challenge you conquered and then life just goes on.

I'm 31 I started this road years ago and I got to that destination back in 2006. Now I just have life to live and new adventures to live. It makes me proud that I have achieved this goal but now im just any other 30 something making her way in this world and life is good.

Thanks for your wonderful post Fiona hugs xxx, I really enjoyed reading and I wish you all the best in your continuing "normal" life.

Maybe mine was a slightly different experience to most, because I was full-time for ten years before I finally got my op. About five years ago I had breast augmentation surgery. So I was sort of half-way there already.
The other thing is that I went for the cosmetic op - meaning everything but! This was mainly my choice, partly for surgical reasons. (Basically, I'm too fat!)

And, as I have mentioned in my blog and elsewhere, for me it was just a cosmetic operation. A correction of the anatomy. Visually no different, properly sensational. (Yes, the proper nerve endings are where they should be...)

So now i can go swimming, into changing rooms etc. etc. without fear of someone seeing something they shouldn't.

No big changes otherwise. I still get up, go to work, wear the same clothes, go for a drink, whatever. It was just the culmination of years of grief, knowing what was wrong and desperate to fix it. And eventually I did.

Hormones? I just keep applying the patches, as before at a slightly reduced dose. And no three-monthly blocker injection.

I always knew I was a woman, and was legally one long before, all except the birth certificate. And I can't be bothered with all the paperwork that goes with changing that - it will make no significant difference anyway.

I just read over the above, and it sounds like I am trivialising it. I'm not, it was just the culmination of a long journey, and I guess I became hardened to it over time, often never expecting to arrive at my goal, then when I did it was no different to having the 'boob job' or the gall bladder out or the hiatus hernia fixed. Another operation, couple of weeks of hospital rations, couple of weeks of moving rather carefully and back to the grindstone.

The big one was actually transitioning, but that's another story...

Hi Sue,

I am so glad you posted to this thread. I certainly had you (among others) in mind when I first posted it. Thank you for your insights into the "life after SRS". I really appreciate your honest and very direct post.

Wishing you all the best,
Melody

Sue, I totally relate to being too fat for SRS LOL But after over five years of fulltime living, I am proud to say that I am now 30 pounds away from being able to qualify for SRS from my first choice, Dr. Brassard. The absolute heaviest woman he will work on is 220. I stand now at 250. This got me thinking. I'm tall as most of you know, 6'3". 200 Is a general limit but exceptions up to 220 are made for tall girls like me. Now, this is what I wonder. If 200 is the general ceiling, that means that some short girl who is 5'2" let's say can still get surgery if they weigh 200. Please tell me how a girl that short weighing 200 is more qualified to get surgery than me at 225 or 230 or 240?

Z

Here the NHS use BMI as a more accurate (but not necessarily correct either) guesstimation of suitability - I.E. danger to the patient from long anathesia (4hrs plus) and probable success of the operation in general. Being larger, there is a considerably increased risk of a prolapse. (I was a prime candidate).

Incidentally, I come in under 220, but have a BMI in excess of 30, the absolute maximum here. They prefer you to be in the mid 20's. (Prior to attending Charing Cross my weight was within limits, but the extra three years wait did for me and I never got back down).

I think the body weight thing has to do with blood circulation, but still it doesn't seem right that some short, weight challenged gal would be ok at 200 and a perfectly fit tall gal could not at 225. You have my support. With only 38 days til my surgery weight won't be an issue for me. Nevertheless, even though I shouldn't worry, I do worry something will come up that postpones things. I went in for all my preop lab tests, xrays and EKG this morning and my weight was 148. The labs all come back tomorrow except for the HIV test which takes about a week. I did get the copies of my EKG today and chest xrays. Believe it or not, there appears to be a heart under my skin.
Hugs,
Marsha