I wish my dad could've accepted me as a girl.
After having had four daughters it must have been a bit of a disappointment to him that I preferred being female.
He dealt with it by completely ignoring me if I was dressed .
Sorry daddy but I'm afraid "The girl can't help it".

Hi Grace,

I dont think you're being fair to your parents. You are presupposing your worst fears on them and not allowing them to actually get to give you their own thoughts. It might be hard to see how they will deal with it, but if you dont give them the chance, they cant.

I understand how you feel however. I was in your shoes at one point. I went back packing in Europe when I was in my early 20's. Yeah I wanted to see the world and have adventures but one of my big goals was to try living as a woman where no one would know me and therefore give me the biggest chance to work it out for myself and have the least bad reactions.

I was really getting into transition. I lived fem when I wasn't working and androgynous when I was. Everyone at work knew but I didn't quite take that step, again for fear of what others (this time the customers) would say. I shouldn't have worried. I was living in a small town where the regulars from the bar ( yes I know yet another Aussie bartender in the UK what a shock!would see me on my days off and tell me that I looked great or that they assumed that I was a girl at work and now that they saw me they realised that wasn't quite true!

I was lucky that I was travelling with my bestie as they made me realise it wasn't fair to my family. I left Oz as a "boy" although they all knew. Coming home a woman would have made things really hard and put a permanent wedge in our relationship. I had to de transition a little to come home. I gave up my UK working visa (something I'm still trying very hard to get back - anyone want to marry me???) but the pay off was worth it.

My mother took it much harder than I expected when I told her it was for real and forever. She grieved for her lost son. It took her time. She was always still my Mum but she didnt call me by name for a year. It was not that she was calling me the wrong name, she just didn't call me by any name you know how easy that is to do without making anyone else notice?

Sure it hurt, but she came around. I'm so glad that I took the time to do it though. My Mum and I are best friends. She and I go shopping all the time and every year she writes on a "to my daughter" birthday card that she is proud of the woman I have become.

Grace, give folks a chance. It may take more time and alot of effort. Surely it would be worth it. At the moment you've cut them off anyway. Wouldn't it be better to give them a chance. It doesn't seem to me that you have anything to loose but everything to gain.

Bon Chance

Hi Grace,
if you are happy to live a female life then you need to get in touch with parents and see if they will accept the new you or else you will just have a continuing misery of not knowing.
Lots of us worried but found things went OK.

Hi Grace,
It sounds like you have been carrying around some very big problems for a while without knowing how to deal with them. You are not alone in this. There are a lot of people who have problems and dont know how to deal with them. Well done in finding the courage to take the first steps in learning if there is a solution available.

When I told the people around me how I felt I was surprised with who was cool and who was not. I would say that anticipating the results of any action is the worst fear that most people content with, including myself. The sad truth for me is that my parents ostracised me and I havent spoken to them for nearly 2 years. It hasnt been easy for me however I do acknowledge that there are plenty of people whose parents support their children.

One person who I hold great esteem for said "You dont need your parents to live your life." which is very true, however much I might dwell on it would be nice if they were there for me.

The only other thing I can say is that the longer you deliberate on a problem the longer you wait to find out if it works out in your favour.

Love
Penny
x

hiyaa xx i'm a 23 year old mtf tranny and when i was 18 i started taking feminine tablets. i was too embarressed to tell my parents i was going to have surgery so when i was 19 i ran away to leeds. I've got a good job and everything but i know I've taken an extremely wrong turn. i know my family won't take me for who i am.

Hi Grace,
Where did you get those "feminine tablets"?
They certainly seem to work.
I'd love a box of those.
I could probably put them on the shelf alongside my bottle of magic beans.