Well I guess I should preface this with a Little bit about me, I've been crossdressing (in private) since I was 12 much to the dismay of my mom. She found out because I'm bad at hiding stuff meaning I was dumb enough to just leave her clothes under my bed and hope she wouldn't notice (she did) and she told me that what I was doing was not normal and that I shoould quit doing that (this article doesn't do her justice she's a terrific mom and has since become more accepting of my crossdressing). Well after two years of getting caught over and over again I decided that I needed to do something about this crossdressing bussiness and I needed to confront it. So I naturally decided to run as far away from the issue as possible and go to an all male Catholic Boarding School were I couldn't cross dress even if I wanted to (because its an all male Catholic boarding school) and just not face the issue ever again. Well after four years of testosterone fueled beer guzzling glory (The Catholics know how to party) I had changed alot. I was older, wiser, and I had a girl friend now (the weirdest part is how I got a girl friend at an all boy boarding school). After graduating from said school I was faced with a dilemna, I was in college now I had freedom, independence, and a certain urge to strap on a pair of heels and wear a dress (go figure). The desire had not gone away and now I was wanting it even more badly than ever, so badly in fact I began to slink into depression. I was faced with denying my true self and living in a state of self pity and masochism, or wearing a dress and being the happiest I have ever been in my life. I had to confront the issue head on this time and not run away like I did before. So I decided (very reluctantly) to tell my girlfriend about me. This went over fairly well, I was so nervous and self degrading she thought I was trying to tell her I cheated on her and was relieved that I was JUST a Transvestite (go figure). That was when I realized that the problem wasn't that I was trans, the problem was that I cared so much what other people thought of me being trans and thats what I needed to stop not the actual act itself. Since then I have come out to both parents, my sister, my room mate, several friends, and more importantly myself. I'm the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. Oh and tomorrow is my girl friend and me's two year anniversary. Thanks for reading.

 

Hugs!!!

Masi,     

Hi Masi , Thanks for this post and sharing. Its an important message , but a difficult one to get across to those around you . I think every Trans [myself included] has that phase of building up a stifling conception of caring for others by turning in on ourselves to deny that expression of ourselves. In the end it will all come out , so best it comes out with you showing the real caring you. I came to the conclusion that I was better of [for the other people around me], if I presented myself as happier , helpful,sharing and caring, not awkard ,regretting and withdrawn [ie what you tend to be in denial]. The SO's in our life invariably need time to work this out and if possible see this positive change for themselves and come to their own conclusions what this means. Wishing you a happy New year .... Donna XX

I came out as a crossdresser about seven years ago.

It was basically because I was drinking a lot back then and I just got to a stage when I couldn't have cared less who knew.

I don't drink at all now, out of choice. I feel better for it.

Wow. wonderful

Dear Masi I just joined today that is such an inspiring story, my partner is transexual (male to female) and actually told me before we started dating I am female in a female body, I fell in love with my partners soul and I actually guided my partner on clothes and makeup because I think being your true self is the most beautiful thing you can be, my partner has finally come out and is now going out in the day dressed as her real self not a lie anymore and I think that is beautiful and I am so proud and happy for her, we love each other very deeply the only sad thing and what really upsets me is other peoples opinions I just do not get it, what matters is what you are inside. So happy for you and your girlfriend personally I would love to chat with girlfriends of transexuals (male to female) who have accepted there partner and support and love them as they are because my partner has just come out and I find other peoples reactions and opinions really upsetting,

I don't think I can ever come out as a CD...the effect it would likely have on my career would likely be devastating, and the fact that I'm in a tiny rednecky town doesn't help.

My Letter
To Family, Friends and Co-Workers

I am about to reveal to you something about myself, that may come as something of a surprise or shock. I am almost certain that my appearance and manner have changed in the time that you have known me. Perhaps it has raised some questions in your mind about me. Let me explain further if I can. While I can not predict what your reactions might be, it is my hope that you will have an open mind to this.

At a time in my life, I find myself at a crossroads. I have a birth condition (known also as a birth defect) and this condition has been with me most of my conscious life to varying degrees. Most of the time I had been able to either internalize its effects; or show minimal signs of it to those around me. The effect this had upon me was far more damaging. This defect or condition is known as Gender Identity Disorder or GID for short (DSM-IV Gender Identity Dysphoria). It is a rare condition that occurs in perhaps only one in thirty or fifty thousand people. It is not known if this condition is an accident of genetics, a hormonal imbalance before birth or something from early childhood. Perhaps it is a combination of factors. I have the brain of a woman and had the body of a male (now through surgery I am anatomically female). The media has made much of the term Transsexual. I was considered one. I have completed my transgender journey. I am now considered anatomically female.

My awareness of this condition has always been with me. It was possible for me to believe that I could have live with it or overcome it. Not so. When I was in my teens I came to understand that these feelings were very deeply part of me and that they would have to be dealt with someday. Life became a parody of trying to be like the other boys and of suppressing the feelings of wanting to be with the girls. Life became something to endure and not to live. At times the feelings would well up. I would use alcohol and medications in an attempt to stop the emotional pain, which worked for a while, but obviously created problems of their own. Social factors, the attitudes of those around me and the twins of guilt and shame, constrained me into holding this GID to myself.

Periods of sadness and bouts of depression were features of my life and was the result of my inability to cope with this condition. Late in the winter of 2002 I fell into a depression, which left me totally dysfunctional and it had threatened my life. It was at this time that my emotional pain became so great that I could no longer ignore it. Knowing that there were only two choices to be taken, my choice was to go on and seek treatment for GID. The emotional pain quickly abated as I realized that I had come to accept myself finally for who I really was.

Having studied some materials, I did know that, if I truly did have GID, there are only two cures: death or transition to as close an approximation to the appropriate gender as possible. A set of standards dealing with diagnosis and treatment has evolved in the past couple of decades. The Standards of Care (SOC) is used almost universally by medical and psychological specialists in this condition and they continue to refine standards of care for patients. The Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association, Inc. (HBIGDA) is a professional organization devoted to the understanding and treatment of Gender Identity Disorders. These standards are clear and, for those who truly are affected by GID follow them. Through surgery the condition is permanently alleviated. This involves evaluation by a psychiatrist, or a psychologist with a minimum of a master's degree. Who are specialists in this field, reevaluation by other professionals to verify the original diagnosis, long-term administration, in the case of a male to female? Of female hormones and the suppression of the male hormone, testosterone, living and working in the specified gender role, and corrective surgery is known as gender or sexual reassignment surgery (SRS)

I know that some ask the question. "If you could have managed to wait so long; why did you not just wait another few years before you did this?" My answer is this. If I could have, I would have, but I could not. This is not my idea of fun nor is it a lifestyle choice, but a far more basic one of life. Most transsexuals’ often reach a time, usually in mid life when they can no longer suppress this inner dichotomous need to complete their journey. Was I not to transition as I am doing? I would likely not be able to continue living. I can not explain it beyond that simple thought. I can only offer you the understanding that our professional caregivers are not surprised by such strong internal drives. It is one of the common factors found in those with this condition.

I began therapy in late August 2002 and was diagnosed in May 2003 and began hormone therapy starting in July 2003. Since that time my mind has become calmer and I am relaxed and can enjoy life. Some members of my family and some old friends know about me and are both accepting and supportive. I was living a split life of working as a male and at most other times living as a woman. Time was quickly approaching when I would begin living a full time role as a woman in society. This is known as transition. This transition happened for me when it was appropriate and the timing and a sense of it being was the right time. January 2005 was when I would complete my journey by traveling to Montreal for sexual reconstructive surgery. I was sure that there would be a period of awkwardness and it is apparent that it currently still exists; but remember, I am still the same person, just looking physically different.

My intent in writing this letter is to inform you, and to ask also for your patience and acceptance as I continue to take my life in this new direction. You have a unique opportunity to share in and watch me grow in my transition. If you want to discuss this with me or have any questions, I would be most glad to sit and talk over a cup of coffee or to provide additional materials that may answer your questions.

Sincerely,
[Deianne (Dei) to my friends]


dw 2003/10/15, revised 2006/11/26;

revised 2007/04/10

Deianne Whitlock said:
My Letter To Family, Friends and Co-Workers I am about to reveal to you something about myself, that may come as something of a surprise or shock. I am almost certain that my appearance and manner have changed in the time that you have known me. Perhaps it has raised some questions in your mind about me. Let me explain further if I can. While I can not predict what your reactions might be, it is my hope that you will have an open mind to this. At a time in my life, I find myself at a crossroads. I have a birth condition (known also as a birth defect) and this condition has been with me most of my conscious life to varying degrees. Most of the time I had been able to either internalize its effects; or show minimal signs of it to those around me. The effect this had upon me was far more damaging. This defect or condition is known as Gender Identity Disorder or GID for short (DSM-IV Gender Identity Dysphoria). It is a rare condition that occurs in perhaps only one in thirty or fifty thousand people. It is not known if this condition is an accident of genetics, a hormonal imbalance before birth or something from early childhood. Perhaps it is a combination of factors. I have the brain of a woman and had the body of a male (now through surgery I am anatomically female). The media has made much of the term Transsexual. I was considered one. I have completed my transgender journey. I am now considered anatomically female. My awareness of this condition has always been with me. It was possible for me to believe that I could have live with it or overcome it. Not so. When I was in my teens I came to understand that these feelings were very deeply part of me and that they would have to be dealt with someday. Life became a parody of trying to be like the other boys and of suppressing the feelings of wanting to be with the girls. Life became something to endure and not to live. At times the feelings would well up. I would use alcohol and medications in an attempt to stop the emotional pain, which worked for a while, but obviously created problems of their own. Social factors, the attitudes of those around me and the twins of guilt and shame, constrained me into holding this GID to myself. Periods of sadness and bouts of depression were features of my life and was the result of my inability to cope with this condition. Late in the winter of 2002 I fell into a depression, which left me totally dysfunctional and it had threatened my life. It was at this time that my emotional pain became so great that I could no longer ignore it. Knowing that there were only two choices to be taken, my choice was to go on and seek treatment for GID. The emotional pain quickly abated as I realized that I had come to accept myself finally for who I really was. Having studied some materials, I did know that, if I truly did have GID, there are only two cures: death or transition to as close an approximation to the appropriate gender as possible. A set of standards dealing with diagnosis and treatment has evolved in the past couple of decades. The Standards of Care (SOC) is used almost universally by medical and psychological specialists in this condition and they continue to refine standards of care for patients. The Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association, Inc. (HBIGDA) is a professional organization devoted to the understanding and treatment of Gender Identity Disorders. These standards are clear and, for those who truly are affected by GID follow them. Through surgery the condition is permanently alleviated. This involves evaluation by a psychiatrist, or a psychologist with a minimum of a master's degree. Who are specialists in this field, reevaluation by other professionals to verify the original diagnosis, long-term administration, in the case of a male to female? Of female hormones and the suppression of the male hormone, testosterone, living and working in the specified gender role, and corrective surgery is known as gender or sexual reassignment surgery (SRS) I know that some ask the question. "If you could have managed to wait so long; why did you not just wait another few years before you did this?" My answer is this. If I could have, I would have, but I could not. This is not my idea of fun nor is it a lifestyle choice, but a far more basic one of life. Most transsexuals’ often reach a time, usually in mid life when they can no longer suppress this inner dichotomous need to complete their journey. Was I not to transition as I am doing? I would likely not be able to continue living. I can not explain it beyond that simple thought. I can only offer you the understanding that our professional caregivers are not surprised by such strong internal drives. It is one of the common factors found in those with this condition. I began therapy in late August 2002 and was diagnosed in May 2003 and began hormone therapy starting in July 2003. Since that time my mind has become calmer and I am relaxed and can enjoy life. Some members of my family and some old friends know about me and are both accepting and supportive. I was living a split life of working as a male and at most other times living as a woman. Time was quickly approaching when I would begin living a full time role as a woman in society. This is known as transition. This transition happened for me when it was appropriate and the timing and a sense of it being was the right time. January 2005 was when I would complete my journey by traveling to Montreal for sexual reconstructive surgery. I was sure that there would be a period of awkwardness and it is apparent that it currently still exists; but remember, I am still the same person, just looking physically different. My intent in writing this letter is to inform you, and to ask also for your patience and acceptance as I continue to take my life in this new direction. You have a unique opportunity to share in and watch me grow in my transition. If you want to discuss this with me or have any questions, I would be most glad to sit and talk over a cup of coffee or to provide additional materials that may answer your questions. Sincerely, [Deianne (Dei) to my friends] dw 2003/10/15, revised 2006/11/26; revised 2007/04/10

You do know that they took Gender Identity Disorder out of the DSM right?

Im glad you found yourself and you can be what you want and mothers always support even if its not in time.

I am deeply moved with all the brave souls that are living authentic lives.

Last year I started a relationship with a wonderful and understanding woman.  She is very encouraging of my dressing and valitates  my feminine personality and energy. It wasn't until this relationship that I have let go of my fears of family and friends finding out about me. Truth is my family knows, my Mother as well. Well they intimated that they thought I was gay. I came out to my son this month. Surprisely he empathized by mentioning that some of his friends had feminine ways and desires. Remarkable!

Live long and prosper

bisou 

I am in a slow and steady process of planning and implementing my coming out. I live in close proximity to extended family members, yet on a daily basis I have on makeup ( though not a lot - just standard amounts ), clear coat nail polish on rather long nails, women's clog low heel shoes ( using these as slipper for 15 years now - of course, I change them this is the 3rd pair ), and women's jeans ( my normal clothes ) and typically rather unisex shirts. Beyond this I have a web site where all the names on it are my new chosen name - Briana - and it is seen by quite a few people - friends, family, et al. So it is a matter of time on that front. It is a very subtle way to say hello to all and see where it goes. I will write more as this progresses along and there are new events. I am working on several areas to bridge this with some friends and others. -- I do notice that more and more, this is definitely who I am and I find it harder and harder not just being me. - more to follow - all the best to us all in these endeavors. hugs, Briana Q : )

I see that many have briefly described their past as well, so I will do so too - Like many I have a laundry list of memories that date all the way back to about the age of 5. My best friend was a girl two doors down where we played with dolls and she even had a set of furniture - complete kitchen and the like - we had such fun. To me this was the norm in everyday life. I would use paper and fold, tape, and staple it to make purses to carry around. No one ever said this was wrong or unusual. Even in my pre to teen years I had a bed full of stuffed animals, unicorns included - to this day ( now in my 40s ) my parents still buy unicorns for me. There are other things noted on my blogs and bio so I will not go too far with this. In the last 15 years though I have been on the buy and purge cycle many of us girls go through - but through the very early times and those times the most critical things I did was this - I did not ask why of myself - or more importantly - who am I? - Then came a day in dress I asked myself not only who am I but also what if I was X number of years older - who do I see - and there was the answer - I am a woman and I want others to see me as that person - to be known, acknowledged, and accepted for who I am - a woman. This was the most liberating moment in all my days. To allow me to just be me. I cannot be anything else. Thank you for your time in reading this - more to follow, of course. hugs, Briana Q : )

Bisou Bisou said:

I am deeply moved with all the brave souls that are living authentic lives.

Last year I started a relationship with a wonderful and understanding woman.  She is very encouraging of my dressing and valitates  my feminine personality and energy. It wasn't until this relationship that I have let go of my fears of family and friends finding out about me. Truth is my family knows, my Mother as well. Well they intimated that they thought I was gay. I came out to my son this month. Surprisely he empathized by mentioning that some of his friends had feminine ways and desires. Remarkable!

Live long and prosper

bisou 

What does "valitates" mean? Also, what does "intimated" mean? 

intimate - make known
valitates - Probably validates

I recently came out to a woman that I work with, after she wormed it out of me after telling me about her friend making her husband dress as a French Maid for the both of them. One thing led to another, and I told her that I had been cross-dressing since I was about 8 years old.

I was a bag of nerves after telling her, but she was overjoyed and wanted to know more, asking if I had any pictures of me dressed, I said that I had and would she like to see them. She replied that she would love to.

So afterI compiled my pictures together and after looking at them, she wanted to see me dressed as Victoria in person. I was unsure about this because she would be the first person that had seen my inner-self. But with gentle persuasion we arranged for her to come to my house in a couple of weeks time.

On the day that we were to meet, I was so nervous that I drank nearly a full bottle of wine to myself, which calmed me down a lot. When she did arrive, she was overwhelmed that I had dressed for her and told me so.

So I've not looked back since and we have gone clothes shopping a few times and she wants to attend Sparkle with me this year. She also helps me with make-up tips, posture, walking in heels etc...

I do know that coming out to anyone is very hard thing to do, but the benefits can be well worth it, if they accept you for who you are inside, and I wouldn't change myself and who I am for anything. 

This post was edited by Victoria Sanderson at March 22, 2013 9:04 AM GMT

Victoria - There is nothing better than the feeling of acceptance from another person. I'm glad for you and your friend. She really did you a great favor by encouraging you.

Michelle Lynn yes you have inspired others. that have been hesitant in do what they need to do for themselves. would love to talk to you on chat some times