Forums » Transgender Psychology

• Karen Brad

  

  • 2605 posts
   

  February 5, 2012 1:49:02 PM GMT

  My shrink thinks so.
  When not at work or with family, I'm dressed in femm.
  The problem is that I couldn't pass to save my life. So when I dress in femm I can't go out. 
  When I'm working I change as soon as I get home, & on weekends I put on a dress or a skirt in the morning & stay dressed all day. 
  This means I don't go anywhere, ever. 
  I don't go for walks, to movies, out to eat. Once I'm dressed I don't want to change. I've been in femm for 2 weeks only putting on pants if I realy have to.
  That means I don't go past the front door. I don't want neighbors to see me so I keep the blinds closed at all times. So I sit home alone talking to no one for days at a time.
  I've tried not wearing womens clothes when at home & I can't stand it.
  So my shrink says it's time to start my transition for real or stop dressing. 
  Right now I'm just not ready to do eather.
• Chrissy Rowe

  

  • 41 posts
   

  February 5, 2012 2:41:34 PM GMT

  Why would it be bad for you dressing how you feel? Get yourself out there and worry about yourself and not others.
• Doanna Highland

  

  • 324 posts
   

  February 7, 2012 4:30:15 AM GMT

  I think your shrink is just trying to help you to the next level.
  Good luck at the next level when you "take that step"
  Hugs
• Tammy Brianne

  

  • 281 posts
   

  February 7, 2012 9:41:55 PM GMT

  Karen,
  We all know what that first step out is like, everyone in here understands this. It is just the evolution of our being, scary yes, each time gets easier. You say you do not pass, that's a matter of opinion, it is what you feel that counts. But if you would have seen what I looked like when I started to dress to go out...yikes......we evolve, start doing things like electrolysis, which is a hug confidence booster, just not having that 5 O'clock shadow.
  Well, I gave you this before, and it is about Crossroads here in Michigan, actually they are in Ferndale. Great support group that can get you out there, I went there for a while, so you might give them a try.
  One nite I was out and met the Pres. of Crossroads and told her about you, and she would love to see come there. I will offer this invitation to you again, and take you there. You can go in drab the first time to see how things are, I gave you my phone number, but if you deleted it message me and I will give it to you again, and you can give me yours again, I lost it when changing phones, this way I know who is calling otherwise I do not answer it. Any how here is that link again...
  Huggs Tammy
  
  http://www.crossroadsmi.com/
• Karen Brad

  

  • 2605 posts
   

  February 7, 2012 11:32:21 PM GMT

  I have contacted them but have never gone.
  They had that big swap last month & I wanted to go but had to work.
  I'll send you my number. Thank You!!
  Karen
  
• Michelle Lynn

  

  • 648 posts
   

  February 8, 2012 2:53:53 AM GMT

  Hi Karen - I was so like you 3 years ago. Afraid to go out, afraid to let my neighbors see me. Isolated and alone as Michelle. Once I took that first step, I realized that most people don't care or notice you. Connecting with a local support group will help you, and give you opportunities to start establishing a support network of friends for Karen. You will be so much happier and look back on the days of isolation and ask why was I so afraid? MAy this new year bring you the confidence to be the real you both inside and outside. I'll send you my phone # via private message if you want to talk. Michelle xoxoxox
• Doanna Highland

  

  • 324 posts
   

  February 8, 2012 4:14:30 AM GMT

  Hmmmm,
  On the "lighter side", dressing is not bad for you...it's bad for the GG's (ovarians) that don't know how to dress well and/or have no self esteem.
  
• rose white

  

  • 482 posts
   

  February 10, 2012 6:53:12 AM GMT

  a shrink who says stop dressing is a total dickhead and deoesn't really understand the basics of TSism.
  Take that awful first step and go to a transfriendly place and see others who also don't pass but get a real boost from being happily themselves for a few hours.
  
• Lucy Diamond

  

  • 1309 posts
   

  February 10, 2012 12:27:13 PM GMT

  I wouldn't have quite put it like that but I kind of agree with Rose.
  If he thinks dressing is bad for you, he probably doesn't realise that not dressing would be worse for you. The problem is that he sees you becoming a recluse, dressing only in private, living in fear of anyone finding out. It's not unlike my situation before I transitioned; I was effectively agoraphobic.
  Find a "safe" place to go, meeting others like you can be a great help, but getting out and expressing your true self is the real solution.
  Stop worrying about how you look; you just have to be you, to not be so will destroy you.
  xx
• Doanna Highland

  

  • 324 posts
   

  February 10, 2012 6:05:42 PM GMT

  "I am woman, hear me roar!"
  (Helen Reddy)
• Heather Ann Martin

  

  • 50 posts
   

  February 10, 2012 11:58:38 PM GMT

  aren, I hope you can find other girls in your area to go . If you can, go I's not about "passing"
  This post was edited by Heather Ann Martin at February 11, 2012 9:00:41 AM GMT"
• Heather Ann Martin

  

  • 50 posts
   

  February 11, 2012 8:59:10 AM GMT

  Karen I hope you can find other girls in your area. If you can get out as yourself you should. It's obviously not doing you any good hiding at home. As other girls have said its about being yourself.
• Traci Lee O'Gara

  

  • 380 posts
   

  February 17, 2012 1:55:47 AM GMT

  Karen, the girls are giving you good advice..the absolute worst thing you can do is sit in your home locked in and alone..sure, we'd all like to pass and look fabulous...but that will take loads of time to reach and Rome wasn't built in a day. The nights out with other girls are always fun and you'll feel such an emotional rush of goodness that you will quickly forget about any hangups you have with others seeing you. you'll find it truly liberting and it will free your spirit and make you come alive again! I promise you that! So if I were you, I'd get with that awesome Tammy and go out...you will never regret nor forget it...
  Best wishes always!
  Traci xoxo
• Traci Lee O'Gara

  

  • 380 posts
   

  February 17, 2012 1:59:59 AM GMT

  Oh, and I would begin electrolysis first thing...at worst, you'll never have to shave again...it also makes your face look 10-15 yrs younger!
  All the best Karen!
  Traci xoxox
• Traci Lee O'Gara

  

  • 380 posts
   

  February 17, 2012 2:01:46 AM GMT

  Did you call Tammy yet??? (smile)
  
• Traci Lee O'Gara

  

  • 380 posts
   

  February 17, 2012 2:02:04 AM GMT

  I'll give you a couple of more minutes...
• Karen Brad

  

  • 2605 posts
   

  February 17, 2012 3:22:48 AM GMT

  Yes Tammy & I talked. She was going to take me to a group. But I had to go to dinner at my sisters for her husbands birthday. He has cancer & this was more then likely his last one.
  They meet once a month & I know where it is so I will be at the next one. She has also talked of a bar but I don't have money for a bar. I will not let someone else pay.
• Traci Lee O'Gara

  

  • 380 posts
   

  February 17, 2012 3:33:33 AM GMT

  Just go...you don't have to drink to have a good time! Been there, done that...it will be soooo good for you Karen...you have no idea!