About three years ago, I decided to go out in public dressed as a woman.

 

I'm a crossdresser, not a transsexual.

 

Anyway, I always dress as a woman my age would dress, maybe coming home from the office. So that was sensible court shoes, calf length pencil skirt, blouse, and a long-ish raincoat.  Topped off with a long dark brown wig.

 

I never want to draw attention to myself, so I always dress smart but never tarty.

 

Tarty does absolutely nothing for me.

 

Anyway, this was at night, around 8pm. It was dark, but there were street lamps. I just wanna say how vunerable I felt out on my own at night. Not because I felt some teenage kid might shout, 'hey, you're a man!'. But I was frightened in case some guy attacked me, thinking I was a woman.

 

It really is frightening walking those streets at night. I don't know how women do it.

 

I've never done it since. One, beause I have put some weight on in the last three years and wouldn't look right in my ladies clothes, and B), the experience scared the wits out of me.

 

NB: I am on a diet, so I am still thinking about doing it again.

 

Hi Simon,

I know how you feel, I am quite out and still do the clubbing scene at my age. I am not TS either, nor do I call myself a crossdresser, ( hate that word ) but I lay somewhere in the middle of those. So I still do a balancing act, and gave up aspirations of transition, for many reasons.

But back to your thoughts, when I go out especially in Detroit, I make sure that I only go to places that ladies would go and I make sure that I park close or vale the car. Yes there are occasions that I must walk a distance an yes there is that vulnerable aspect, I carry pepper spray even though I am quite capable of self-defense, I just stay aware of my surroundings, mind my own business, and I walk with confidence. 

Believe it or not, I have seen some pretty shady people when I am out, so the first thing I do is look them right in the eye, and give that look .....don't fuss with me. Any way it seems to make them think, at least I see it in there eyes. One big trick with this though, do not stare back to long as to make it look like a challenge.

My main problem with all this now is that I am getting older and slower, weaker, smaller.....yuk...I need not go farther with this..depressing...LOL. So now I am feeling a little more vulnerable than I used to. I am not going to change things to much because of this, I luv being out as myself having fun as we should. Fear does have it's place.

 

Any way that's all ....Huggs  Tammy

Tammy, it's interesting that you feel the need to carry something to protect yourself. As a guy walking the streets dressed as a man, I would never think about carrying something, but as a woman, you do, I do.

Being out there, on your own, feels dangerous, but also exciting.

Thanks for the reply.

When I used to dress part time as a man I used to feel absolutely wonderful going out fully dressed as a woman. I was very apprehensive the first few times but once I realised that nobody was taking a blind bit of notice I became very confident. I used to set myself targets, shopping, trying on a skirt in the womens changing rooms, using the ladies loo etc. Confidence as a woman really grows with practice so get out there girls!

Carrying pepper spray is an excellent idea. An attacker functions at a disadvantage with a face/groin full of pepperspray. If you are attacked by multiple opponents, it evens the odds. It can make it easier to escape. Yell "FIRE!!!" to get people to respond, or pull a firebox alarm. Even in drab I carry pepperspray. Bear-strength is quite effective on aggressive dogs as well. In many parts of the US it is quite legal to carry a gun. My girlfriend has had many confrontations alone at night and the appearance of a magnum has never failed to end the event immediately. Predators do not want to be hurt. Drunks are the worst problem, but they cannot run as far/fast as a sober person and a moderate blow to the solar plexus usually will reintroduce them to their supper.
*******
When out, remember that most people will be wary of confronting you. What if they make a mistake and you are the presented sex? What if it is true that all crossdressers are serial killers? What if their boss fires them for harassing a paying customer? What happens if you respond by asking them for the manager and then asking for HIS boss's name? You have every right to be there and spending your money. Most store chains these days, even in the US, have instructed their employees to not lose LGBT sales. I agree with Heather, confidence is a strong asset.

I'm an NRA certified instructor.And an advocate for conceiled carry.But also consider NRA's "Refuse to be a Victim" Program. Not just about self-defence,but ways to avoid problems in the first place.At home and when out.

May I ask, what do you do if someone asks you the time, or directions?

I find it so hard to put on a woman's voice. I know many of you people are having hormone treatment but I am not. I still have a man's voice and I find it very difficult to disquise it.

Thanks.

I know from experience I pass well as a woman. I try and speak softly in my normal voice and it seems to work. There are plenty of real women with husky voices. I don't try and put on a squeaky "female" voice, I think it sounds ridiculous. You could try some of the many instructional videos available on line.

Just wanted to point out - hormone treatment doesn't alter your voice at all (unless you're F2M).
Raising your pitch a little, and as Heather says trying to soften your voice will help, but it takes a long time to develop a new voice that doesn't sound false; it's all down to practice.
xx
This post was edited by Lucy Diamond at February 14, 2012 4:06 PM GMT

Lucy Diamond said:
Just wanted to point out - hormone treatment doesn't alter your voice at all (unless you're F2M). Raising your pitch a little, and as Heather says trying to soften your voice will help, but it takes a long time to develop a new voice that doesn't sound false; it's all down to practice. xx

I apologize for my ignorance.

 

Heather Ann Martin said:
I know from experience I pass well as a woman. I try and speak softly in my normal voice and it seems to work. There are plenty of real women with husky voices. I don't try and put on a squeaky "female" voice, I think it sounds ridiculous. You could try some of the many instructional videos available on line.

 

Thanks.

Softening the voice does help,Also try speaking while not breathing as deeply.,But others here are right. It does take practice.Hugs,Jan

Softening the voice does help,Also try speaking while not breathing as deeply.,But others here are right. It does take practice.Hugs,Jan

Hi Simon,

If you can afford $20 (about £13) I thoroughly recommend these lessons which I have found to be excellent.  Although primarily aimed at TS's they are equally valid for TV's/CD's for as Lucy quite rightly pointed out, the voice for both TS's and TV's is the same.

One of the beauties of this method is that you can switch between male or female voices at the drop of a hat once you have developed your female voice, so you won't find yourself coming out with a female voice say at work.

A lot of it is to do with confidence as well, the more confidence you have, the less people will notice and having your female voice available to you whenever you want to use it will add to your confidence when you are out and about en femme.

There is a voice sample on the link which I am posting below too, so that you can see just how authentic you can sound with sufficient knowledge and practice.

http://heartcorps.com/journeys/voice.htm

The cheapest, easiest way I know to alter your voice is to keep your fingertips on your larynx and try to minimize the vibration that you feel. Your voice should shift into a more femme voice when you do this. It costs nothing and can be practiced at a lower volume. Actually I read once of a MtF who practiced (an unknown method) and whose voice got "stuck" in the female register for an hour or so before it went back to normal, causing anxiety about returning to the wife. It did return to normal spontaneously, however. I suspect a bit of swelling had occured but I do not know.

This post was edited by wendy larsen at March 17, 2012 3:49 AM GMT