Going back in

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  • There are so many articles about coming out that you may think that there is never an issue of going back in.  I'm here to tell you different. 

     

    I am a crossdresser who has lost interest.  I mean that, it just isn't the same level of fun.  It just doesn't do it anymore.  So now, having been known as "the one who wears women's clothing" I find myself with this dilema.  There is clothing that is associated with women that I wear.  I wear it as a male making no pretenses about it. 

     

    Let me say it a different way.  What makes pantyhose or heels women's clothing?  Its nothing more than a fashion decision by people who have a large voice in society.  There was a time that pants were women's clothing and men wore what we would call dresses now. 

     

    The most comfortable underwear I have worn in recent years were panties designed for the expanding bellies of pregnant women.  Yet, functionality wise, they were better than any of my "male" underwear at holding me comfortably.

     

    Wigs:  I have had long hair and short hair.  I think my wife's hair has to be short, but the length changes every week, depending on the mood of her and her hairdresser.  George Washington had a heck of a head of hair, but who's hair was it?  It's cold in New York.  My hair is long for good reason.  If I didn't have long hair, I'd wear a hat or a wig.  A hat if I didn't want it on when I went inside, a wig if I didn't want to take it off.  But, I'm cold.  A hat and a wig if it is really cold. 

     

    Sex & Clothes:  I am a crossdresser.  I'm not a 100% sure why.  I haven't liked "gay" approches to me when I was crossdressed, but I haven't rejected all approaches.  I haven't accepted any either.  There comes a point where my sex, sexual identity and sexual preference all clearly manifest.  My sex is male, my sexual preference is hetero (monogamus) and my sexual identity is variable.  That seems very hard for some people to deal with.

     

    Why go back in:  The number of people who get you are so few and far between that there comes a point where you will want to retire from the fight.  I am at that point.  I no longer see any value in fighting to get people to understand me.  I am who I am.  I don't need you to understand why I am who I am.  I am not sure I understand why.  But, I am who I am.  And, I accept that I am who I am.  Other people, gay, straight or trans, may not get me, but it no longer matters to me.  What matters is that the tolerant become accepting, non-judgmental, no longer projecting a predetermined trajectory on my spritual-sexual identity. 

     

    What is going back in about:  God is the only one I have to prove myself to.  God is the only one who needs to understand me.  So, I go in my closet, talk with God and come to understand that better than I know myself, God knows me.  Going back in is not about hiding.  It is about living like everybody else where, there is no cross to bear with respect to this issue.  In other words, I have accepted myself.

     

    Wenjoy,

     

    Who made up these fashion rules, anyway?

    -- Enjoy, Wenjoy. Who made up these fashion rules, anyhow?
      January 17, 2013 6:28 AM GMT
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