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Hi Introduction and Query about Voice & Shaving

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  • Hi i'm Clara, age 22,

    I came out to my mom 3 days ago (she helped me pick out the name),

    Im ready to reveal the new me to the world but have  got to wait 2.5 weeks before i get my wages and can replace my wardrobe of jeans and t-shirts with something alot nicer, thankfully i'm about a female size 8 so shopping shouldn't be difficult

     

    Now that i have found my true self but can't do anything about it i keep feeling like im' slipping into my miserable male fisard self please tell me this stops pretty quickly once you go public.

     

    Sorry about the wine just needed to let that out anyway advice

    there is 2 things i need advice with

     

    first is a not to get a not to horifying female voice, i need to get a sensible voice pretty quickly and my vocal cords are not well exorsized ilways hated my voice anyway but when i try to raise it it just sounds terible

     

    and secondly shaving i would be a liability with a manual shaver so i use electric but elctric shaver never cut very close and i get noticable stubble pefore the day ends any recomendations on alturnatives/ decent electric shavers

      August 15, 2013 6:26 PM BST
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  • Hello Clara - Super to hear you are open and have apparently good communication with you mom - that is a great start. The first critical piece of advice is this - patience. There is no due date or deadline you are trying to meet - take time. Also another good idea is keep the focus on your inner self and let her develop in time - public or not, you are always you. As to the 'wine', this is a great site to come to when there is a need to rant and even better to ask questions - there are many who can help here and offer solid, useful advice. There are some here who may have advice on workind on the voice and the shaver - I see these as a work in progress with myself at present as well. Have a great shopping trip and find yourself - I love going out and doing just that from time to time. Take Care. hugs, Briana : )
      August 15, 2013 7:10 PM BST
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  • Thanks, my mom was there for the early years (of Annabelle as i was back then) before puberty came along and made me forget myself so whilst the sudden revisit was a suprise she did have an incling that I was still

    i think my supposed crush on Rory gilmore (aka gilmore girils) that turned out to be misread admiration and jealousy was the biggest hint.

     

    I think after 10 years of denial im just desperate to be her not the him i made up, but yea il just l her devellop natourally.

    Its hasn't been long so i guess its gonna take a while for my brain to work out i can be her 24/7, just me being impationt with myself as always.

     

    i guess the voice bothers me most obviously im going to not sound passibly female for some time but i dont want to dress up nice an then end up speaking in my male voice.

    maybe can persuade some one to give me a starter lession over xbox live chat

     

    thanks going shoping for clothes i actually want will be a strange new experience, im looking foward to picking up some cute boots.

     

    P.S. is it just me or is it quiet on here?

      August 15, 2013 7:40 PM BST
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  • The crowd here waxes and wanes with various rhythms which I have yet to figure - probably because it is an international mix and each has only certain times and places they can connect due to various barriers in each person's life. There are days it can be quite abuzz with activity however. Also there are chat room situations and look to make friends here - they can be a great help - particularly the various admin types and forum people and such. They have helped me a great deal.
    I hid myself and ran from myself for most of my life and I am late in my 40s, so I can understand the desperation. I feel at times everyone here is 100 fold better looking and further along than me and has it altogether. But, the first thing I note is I finally came out to myself, acknowledged and accepted myself, and found a path that will take a great deal of time, due to circumstances in my life beyond my control - but having control over my inner being, my true self - despite the hassles - has been the most liberating of feelings for me. 
    As to boots - I have a photo of me in one of my folders with a really cool pair I wore out a couple of times shopping - leather with a short heel and laced up - they are radically sweet : )
    Happy adventures...
    hugs, Briana : )
      August 15, 2013 7:56 PM BST
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  • Hi Clara,

     

    First of all, be very sure that this is you want because once you start on hormones etc, there is no going back.

     

    In the meantime, you will find a lot of very useful information here in the forums regarding make up tips, passing in public, altering your voice etc but although you want all this by tomorrow, it just doesn't work that fast. It takes a while to firgure out what works for you in terms of make up for example. We are all different and what works for one may be unsuitable for another. Take it easy and enjoy it. If you have your mother's support, she will able to help you as well. Transitioning is a slow process to get it right, it doesn't happen overnight. It takes months, even a year or two. There is a lot to learn in becoming a woman, it isn't just about putting on a dress and some make up. There are a lot of changes that you will have to undertake.

     

    Then there is transitioning in the workplace. For many, a scary prospect. Transitioning is very public. You can't go from 'Dave' to 'Jill' witout people noticing. Tongue out

     

    Don't feel I am trying to put you off, I'm not. But it isn't always easy. That said, you have youth on your side and so the sooner you can transition the better. However, do it properly and, as far as hormones are concerned, under medical supervision.

     

    To that end, have you told your GP yet? If not, and you are sure this is what you want, then do so as soon as possible in order to start the ball rolling in getting the necessary referral you will require in order to begin your transition. 

     

    Anyway, you asked about shaving and your voice. You can work on your voice straight away and youtube has some good videos from women who have acheived excellent results. Don't be dissapointed if you can't match them, even GG women have all types of different voices. You just need a voice that you can use in public and not be read.

     

    Shaving - a wet razor is best and shaving against the grain will achieve better results as it is a closer shave. ultimately though, you will very likely need to consider laser hair removal and electrolysis, neither is cheap but they effective and for most women, very necessary. It isn't just your face remember, it's your chest, back, legs etc etc. You can buy an epilator for home use which will remove hair quite effectively but it can be very painful and they will grow back.

     

    The road to transition is long and can be rough in places but ultimately, it's a great journey.

     

    Nikki

    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      August 15, 2013 8:13 PM BST
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  • Hey,

     

    Yea im quite certain this is what i want, i was 100% lingering at about 150% now, I don't know what the average wait to get on hormones in the uk is anyway but i was pictureing 1 or 2 years,

    im going to my gp next week would be this week but with work and stuff there just isnt time.

     

    Moms being very helpful with the makeup and stuff shes lent me a rather substantial book of basic make up that ive been reading at night. it looks a bit dated but the pricibles are the same

     

    ive watched various youtube vids about different bits of the transition mostly on Violet4151's channel, she gave me hope and seems to be a great source of info, she covers the most sensitive and awkward of things in a very clear and confortable fashion

     

    I always thought in life that the hard path is always worth the effort if the reward is great enough, and i feel in this case that notion is particulaly true

     

    I have tried following some youtube tuturials on you tube but my vocal abilitys suck and even with recordings i have trouble figuring out what people actually hear, even in my normal male voice the recordings sound miles off any natoural voice ive heard and cant be right so judging my new voice is hard.

     

    I work in a place with no customers with 3 women  so hopefully they should be ok with the true me, my busdrivers will get a suprise on my fist day that i come out but they are nice and seem to like me, the staff at game will probably be fairly shocked when i go and collect my preorded games next month that will be amusing to watch, ill probably retellmy story here. but i feel my reliance on gaming diminishing anyway

     

    this may be a dumb question but is it plausible to use an epilator on my face or will it make my face sore? pain i can deal with a red chin not so much, i have strawberry blond hair and ive read the lazers will not work on redhair but im not 100% on that because in argos some of them say they dont work on red hair and others dont mention it

     

    Thanks for the help have been trying to write this messasge for an hour but got distracted

      August 15, 2013 9:02 PM BST
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  • Pop in to the Chat Room Clara - people start drifting in about now

      August 15, 2013 9:23 PM BST
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  • Clara,

     

    Unfortunately laser isn't effective on blond or grey hair as there is not enough pigment in there so if you have a substantial amount of facial hair, then electrolysis is the way to go. It is a very slow process but it is permanant. Blonds often don't have the 5 o'clock shadow issues faced by those with dark hair so perhaps that is your case? If so, you are lucky.

     

    As Carol said, pop into the chat room which I believe starts filling up after 9:00pm UK time. Just talking to others will be of an immense help to you.

     

    Nikki

     

    PS There is nothing wrong in having a crush on one of the Gilmore girls, it's okay to be transgendered and lesbian too. Cool

    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      August 16, 2013 12:17 PM BST
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  • Right let's get down to answering some of your questions in a kinda organised way (I know, impossible for me) LOL

    1. Voice
    I found that the voice tutorials of Melanie Ann Phillips helped me tremendously (http://heartcorps.com/journeys/voice.htm) but I was fortunate in that it clicked with me fairly quickly.  You can hear what her voice sounds like now here (http://heartcorps.com/products/samples/voice-audio-sample.mp3).  For the oulay of $20 (around £13) it is awsome value for money.
    I converted the mp3 voice lessons to .cda format so I could burn them onto a CD and then practice in the car whilst I was driving.

    2.  Using an epilator on the face
     --------------------------------------------   DON'T    ------------------------------------------------
    lt not only make your face red raw, it can distort the follicles making it even more difficult for electrolysis.  Plucking, tweezing etc are the same - it does not reduce the strength of the hair or make them go away (ask any woman who has plucked her eyebrows all her life if it stops them growing).

    3.  Wanna get out and have some fun?
    Join our GS T-Girls in Torquay weekend and spend all weekend in your preferred gender role.  You will have a great weekend - and there are just one or two places left.  See this thread here in the forums for further information
    http://gendersociety.com/forums/topic/9317/torquay-t-girls-weekend-septemb

    This post was edited by Former Member at August 16, 2013 8:30 PM BST
      August 16, 2013 8:13 PM BST
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  • Hi, thanks for the responces,

    that sucks about the laser, atleast i have a unique & striking hair colour, i goes il have to get good with a shaver.

    I thought an epilator too the face sounded stubid when i typed it, even the name "epilator" alones does not suggest happy, friendly images.

     

    My voice was bothering me because i couldn't get the hang of  what the turtuials were saying but i was singing along to avril lavigne (badly i might add) trying to push my pitch up a litte bit whilst keeping my voice's natoural qualitys, i then tried to bring up my volume and clarity and there it was my new voice i have no idea what it souned like externally but to me it sounded like it worked only problem is i had to warm my vocal cords up quite a bit to get there so im going to keep practicing at that untill i can use it readily, thanks ill check out those links seewhat tactics i can use to acommpany my avrill singing tactic.

     

    Thanks for the fun weekend offer, it sounds great but between money and timing i have to miss it, i will go to some of these things when  im set up femm and i am more financially stable, never had much of a social life but i'm finding i actually enjoy interacting with people now

     

    as for this crush thing i never di actually have a crussh on girls i don't think, looking back now i can see that the girls i thought had crushes on were just the girls i wanted to be like, and ive never liked guys in that sence

    leaving me kind of a-sexual i did wounder how many others felt like this but it felt kind of a personal subject and didnt like to ask.

     

     

    PS sorry for all the typeos and grammer errors, firefox spellchecker doesn't seem to work here for some reason, and it's to late now to go back and edit all my errors

    This post was edited by Clara - at August 17, 2013 9:10 AM BST
      August 16, 2013 11:10 PM BST
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  • Your sexuality may change Clara when you have been on hormones for a while and you have started living full time - what it will change to I cannot say, you might prefer women more and seek a female partner or you might find that once you have dropped the pretence of being a man, then you might find that you want a male partner - or you might find both attractive sexually - or you might prefer neither.  All of them are natural and you will discover what appeals to you most.

    At the moment this side of your nature will be in flux and might only become apparent as you progress on your discovery of yourself.

      August 17, 2013 10:58 AM BST
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  • "Carol Uren (Site Moderator) said:

    Your sexuality may change Clara when you have been on hormones for a while and you have started living full time - what it will change to I cannot say, you might prefer women more and seek a female partner or you might find that once you have dropped the pretence of being a man, then you might find that you want a male partner - or you might find both attractive sexually - or you might prefer neither.  All of them are natural and you will discover what appeals to you most.

    At the moment this side of your nature will be in flux and might only become apparent as you progress on your discovery of yourself."

     

    Thanks thats what i thought might happen, glad to see that this makes sense to other people aswell, i'll be interested to see what sexuality I am,

     

    Ill pop back on the live chat this evening, i wanted to go on last night but ended up helping spring cleaning/organising the house.

     

    PS i notice i keep saying thanks alot but you are all so helpful, its great to speak to people that understand my perspective, i imagine if you havn't been in our shoes its pretty damn impossible to get an understanding of it,

    This post was edited by Clara - at August 17, 2013 2:33 PM BST
      August 17, 2013 12:57 PM BST
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  • 95
    Nikki Hollm said:

    Clara,

     

    PS There is nothing wrong in having a crush on one of the Gilmore girls, it's okay to be transgendered and lesbian too. Cool

     

    Thanks Nikki!!  , )

      August 20, 2013 10:04 PM BST
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  • Moderator
    2573

    clara,

     

    Everyone has habits.  That is because the brain builds "superhighways" the way a rabbit track grows over centuries to become the M25 highway...by repeated and increasing use.  As you practice your new behavior patterns, they will grow until they replace the little used male habits.  It is all about time and practice until you build female patterns.

     

    Congratulations on having an awesome mum.

    "A live lived in fear is a life half-lived." - Native American proverb. "Inside every man is a woman who was drowned in testosterone before birth". - Wendy Jeanette Larsen "It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you're not." - Andre Gide (French writer)
    This post was edited by wendy larsen at August 22, 2013 5:17 PM BST
      August 22, 2013 5:17 PM BST
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  • Especially nuns Wendy lol

      August 22, 2013 7:13 PM BST
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  • Hey, just thought id post an update and ask a coule of questions about hair removal

    As you may have notice i now have a profile picture thats my Facebook photo, i set up a facebook page as clara and we're using facebook to tell the rest of the family

    Ive been to the docs on wednesday (as Clara) and have i am getting refered to a clinic

    Ive told my boss and shes cool, she has spread the word to the other staff they are offering to help with clothes ect. Even the blokey bloke who works at the garage nearby (He drops in and chats with boss) is really suportive, so far great responces from everyone.

    we're going shopping again tommorow and i should be going fultime as of the week after next.

     

    Any recomended shavers (normal not elec) or are they much the same?

    Im looking into buying a Rio home waxing kit are they worth it?

     

    Also i'm looking into changing my name by deedpoll, i have seen a lot of websites claim to provide this service for a small fee but i have heard that you can do this your self by just getting a form and sending it off (im asuming their would be some kind of service charge), but i cant find clear information on the process or which form i need, so i need some info on that aswell


    oh yea,..one of the benefits of working somewhere that sells second hand books is that i have access to a huge library of books, i got Conundrum by Jan Morris any recomendations for other books to look out for

    This post was edited by Clara - at August 30, 2013 9:52 PM BST
      August 30, 2013 9:31 PM BST
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  • Hi Clara, 

     

    See below for a link on changing your name, it doesn't have to cost anything but choose whichever you feel will be best for you. 

     

    http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/family_parent/family/change_of_name.htm

     

    It sounds as though your voice training is coming along. Again, there isn't a need to get this right overnight and as you are living full time, it will naturally develop as you will be using it day to day. Don't be surprised if you get a sore throat or a croaky voice in the beginning tough, I know I did. (I also sounded male when I was ill too). My big milestone for the voice...........the phone. If you can talk on the phone and still be taken for female, you are there! The phone does horrible things to our voices and it took me years to get that right even though I could pass face to face easily. 

     

    For shaving, any good wet razor will suffice, and I used shave gel rather than foam as it was more effective and less irritating to my skin. I also only shaved against the grain to ensure a closer shave. It depends on how thick yours is. Being Strawberry blond, I'm guessing it isn't too bad?

     

    For your legs and body, I would recommend a Wilkinson Sword Ladyshave (has 4 blades) and Imperial Leather body wash, as it feels and smells fabulous, as well as getting the job done. 

     

    It's an exciting, and sometimes scary journey you are on, and you will find some great support on this site so please feel free to ask us anything, and hopefully it will help you to make that journey a little easier. 

     

    I don't know if I said this before but you have a wonderful mother for supporting you through this as it would be so much harder without her support. I have no doubt that your relationship will grow even stronger as a result. 

     

    Oh, by the way, nice profile photo! 

     

    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      September 11, 2013 2:57 PM BST
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