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    This post was edited by Former Member at July 24, 2014 4:58 AM BST
      February 15, 2014 10:19 AM GMT
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    Hi Calvin,
    What part of Canada are you in dear?
      February 15, 2014 7:23 PM GMT
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  • I am in BC.

      February 15, 2014 7:25 PM GMT
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  • Hi there, you have definitely done the right thing by reaching out. Your best friend will be knowledge as you learn more about who you are and where you should go.
    Although you may not think so, you have the big advantage of being young in more enlightened times. I know your family appear to be unsupportive, but time can change that. The important thing is to source the best available advice, whether it be from counsellors or the medical profession ( I do not know how the system works in Canada, but I am sure others will).
    You will find lots of support here and elsewhere. Take your time, even when you want to press ahead. That way you will get to where you truly should be. All the very best with your journey.
      February 15, 2014 11:29 PM GMT
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  • Thank you so much for your support. It just gets frustrating, I'm too distracted to continue studying because I am always unhappy and I feel like giving up. Life is really tough and I don't know what to do or how to get what I want. I really wish to be able to get the transition soon, or else I'll give up completely on myself.

      February 15, 2014 11:55 PM GMT
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  • Hello and thank you so much for sharing.

     

    First off let me give you a virtual hug - it is going to be okay.  You are with people who understand you.

     

    Gender dysphoria is a very, very difficult thing for anyone to go through.  What you are experiencing is normal for someone suffering with the condition.  I did represses my gender dysphoria and denied it until - well recently (I will be celebrating my 3rd 39th birthday next month).  At the onset of puberty however I began experiencing horrible and debilitating bouts of depression - and had dirt-low self esteem.  Seeing a therapist helped a lot - even though I never spoke about gender dysphoria.  The therapist at that time did notice I struggled a lot with my sense of identity however and that I was trying to live too much in the image others expected of me.  

     

    This is a bit off topic - but studying the martial arts helped a lot too.  It gave me an endorphin rush - which helped me out of depression.  Kept me physically fit.  Built my self-esteem and allowed an outlet for me to vent my frustrations. 

     

    You are at least ahead of where I was - you realize that your gender identity is not matching your physical gender.  

     

    I would recommend seeing a therapist first off.  Do an internet search and see if there are any therapists in your area that specialize in gender dysphoria and transgender issues.  The advice that you have received about fiinding a support group is also very good.  A therapist and support group can help guide you on your journey.  They may be able to point you toward social services available for transgendered women as well.

     

    This is where I am at with my journey and will be going through the intake process to see a therapist at a local clinic that specializes in gender dysphoria.

     

    Hang in there - you are young with so much to experience!

     

    Hugs!

     

    -Morinth

     

      February 18, 2014 4:01 PM GMT
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  • You're 19 and ready to give up, or so you say.  I know the feeling well.  I had attempted suicide 3 times before I was in high school.  I'm in my 50's today and only had my surgery a few years ago.

     

    Money is a big problem for a lot of us as well as family acceptance.  Here's what I would recommend and that you take things a step at a time as you are able to do them.

     

    1.  Work on getting your degree.  That is the single most important thing you need to do to secure an income for yourself and to finance your transition.

    2.  Cultivate your social circle of transpeople.  Don't stop with online communities like this.  Find others like you in your area. 

    3.  Study the issues of transition.  You are in charge of your health issues.  You must be well informed to make the decisions you need to do.

    4.  Start investing in the market.  Some of what your gains should be is passive income and the skills you learn in this area now will help you in the years ahead, including the middle period of transition which is typically the most dangerous.

    5.  Experiment on your look.  This takes time with anyone.  You won't be an exception.

    6.  Examine your own spirituality and philosophy.  These things will carry you through difficult times.

    7.  Get involved in activism.  You need to fulfill the needs of others as well as your own.

    8.  Cultivate humor.  A sunny outlook and offbeat sense of reality contributes much to survival.

    9.  Find other transpeople starting out. This may appear out of your league at first.  But you may find someone like that in a year who also needs your help.  It's part of the circle of connectedness.

    10.  Meditate upon the meaning of why you want to be the person you envision.  Identity is at the core of who we are and one must come to terms with why it is so.  That is different for everyone and it will be unique to you.

     

    Blessings

      February 18, 2014 9:49 PM GMT
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  • You live in a day and age where sexual and gender expression is pretty open. Keep all gender bending activity off the street and in your home with curtains drawn shut, so I think the primary and most important thing to do is to find your sexual solemate. It's great to explore yourself and have peace with who and what you are if you allow labels to describe you. Take your time and find exactly who you are looking for, never failing to be upfront and honest with regard to your real gender identity and your real sexual preference. Someday you'll be in a living and sexual realtionship with your soulmate, and if you don't rush or walk away from things you'll later regret because you were just afraid to do it. If you have a partner that could find you doing whatever it is that like doing and would either join you or at least aprrove. Its when you think "if I were caught doing this, and how would my partner see me? Is this a person that you really find attractive. The fact that my wife does not have a penis and it doesn't slow us down. The point being that when you are in long term relationships, it should be with the right person who accepts everything about you after you level with him or her.

      February 21, 2014 3:04 AM GMT
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