What the americans do today the UK follows in about 10 years time, the UK is now becoming a sue all nation,

No I never watch doctor Who! I do like The big bang theory , Friends.  Frazier.  and judge Judy is a wow.

While we're off topic. Torchwood anyone?

I haven't watched Torchwood. Random fact about the name "TROCHWOOD" its "doctor who" jumbled up lol. I wasnt a huge fan of Captain Jack Harkness. But I wanted to ask if any of you have any advice for vocal training I have a deep voice and am having a hard time sounding remotely close to passable
This post was edited by Former Member at September 15, 2014 5:32 AM BST

I can't event tell you how many times I have watched the entire series. I can beat anyone at friends trivia lol. Big bang is really funny too haven't watched in in a long time tho.

I guess it's a good thing and a bad thing that we lost so much from this thread - I mean with the technical difficulties experienced on the site the last few days.
This post was edited by M G at October 2, 2014 7:01 PM BST

to be totally honest , i personally think all has been said that needs to be said, lets move forward and now start showing how much love there is here instead of being opinionated.

 

i understand opinions are a valued quality we all have, a bit like arse holes lol, but i do feel some have been a little to agressive and arguementitive.

 

there are ways of putting your thoughts accross with out comnig accross as angry, or matter of fact, or be-littleing of any one else.

 

just a suggestion, but maybe, if miranda is happy to do so, close this thread and maybe start a new one, one full of love and fluffyness, and pink ribbonsxx

I reject the implications that things were said with malice or hate, people come here looking for answers, help and understanding.    Why do people threaten to leave, because somone has a different opinion.

 

This country the UK probably has the most concise and detailed laws protecting people like us.    It's a criminal offence in this country to discriminate against transexuals/transgendered people.    I published the details from the CA law centre.

I did say I was not sure about all of them, to say one is protected unilaterally, some of the laws regarding trans people in certain states of the USA would depend on if you could afford to pay to have a case of infringement presented in court.   here one would make a complaint to the police, its a criminal offence.   An example would be those included, are obviously members of other races, opposite genders, based on religous grounds gay and trans people, note transvestites are not by definition included in the coverage of criminal law.   But you can make all the laws you want, getting them enforced, having a complaint taken up, is another matter.   Discrimination in the work place is so complicated and hard to prove.   So one has to be prepared to face bigotry and resentment.   

 

In most of the US states, its a civil litigation matter, most ordinary people cannot afford it.    Anyway done my best, I'm done...

This post was edited by Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL at October 4, 2014 5:49 PM BST

i wasnt going to reply to this thread again, but i am assuming your post is aimed at me.

 

i care alot about people, and i personally found some posts in this thread very angrily written and bordering quite confrontational.

 

its one thing to have an opinion, and it is good to share those with others, how else can we develop our own ideas, or realise that there are other posibilities. BUT it is not in my opinion, ok to force those opinions. some people on here have a very poor way of portraying them selves. maybe i am too soft, but i also know that miranda and anthony found some of the replys very ...unhelpful shall we say.

 

quote -" I reject the implications that things were said with malice or hate, people come here looking for answers, help and understanding.    Why do people threaten to leave, because somone has a different opinion."

 

i have to stop now, because this has really annoyed me. this all because i care how some people treat others who come here looking for support and helpful advice, and not to be the target of what they have.

 

**** it, ive had enough

 

Stephie Hughes said:

i wasnt going to reply to this thread again, but i am assuming your post is aimed at me.

 

i care alot about people, and i personally found some posts in this thread very angrily written and bordering quite confrontational.

 

its one thing to have an opinion, and it is good to share those with others, how else can we develop our own ideas, or realise that there are other posibilities. BUT it is not in my opinion, ok to force those opinions. some people on here have a very poor way of portraying them selves. maybe i am too soft, but i also know that miranda and anthony found some of the replys very ...unhelpful shall we say.

 

quote -" I reject the implications that things were said with malice or hate, people come here looking for answers, help and understanding.    Why do people threaten to leave, because somone has a different opinion."

 

i have to stop now, because this has really annoyed me. this all because i care how some people treat others who come here looking for support and helpful advice, and not to be the target of what they have.

 

**** it, ive had enough

 

 

Malice or hate, no I don't believe so. Those are pretty strong words. But I don't think anyone ever suggested that and I do agree with the point that Stephie is making. There is too often a lack of sensitivity and respect for other members. I don't believe anyone threatens to leave over a difference of opinion, but rather differences in the way those opinions are expressed and/or respected.

 

We're all on the "same team" here, right?

 

It's not like it's all bad. This is still a very special place that's full of people who care and I hate to see anyone leave. I think we're all tired of threats to leave. When it comes to people being able to respect one another and get along, I'm an eternal optimist.

Okay lets clear something up here shall I if you all do not mind. I have been a member of this website on and off for about 9 years. In all of that time I cannot recall a couple who have been offered so much support here by other members. There has been a lot of support and concerns for this couple/family . There has been no hatred in this thread just concern. My concerns(and others) conflicted with another member who insists it is normal to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria in one appointment followed by a hormone and blocker prescription to be issued. I stand my ground and still say it is not normal practice  but , it has happened so now it is time to concertrate on the couple not what has past .

 

It would be nice if everything could be cured with love fluffyness and pink ribbons but this is reality not candyfloss land.

The love and care is here on this website to help others , Crissie has gone out of her way to post links on laws that can help this couple. Others have gone out of their way to support the couple. This thread is full of care and concern. Some look at things and stay out of it , some look at things and just don't care , some just put their best into it. Not everyones opinion here is going to be the same.

 

Anything I have posted here has been out of care and concern and that conflicted with another members ideals. My posts on this website are based on life experience and real life situations I have been a part of in my work over the years. I have come accross situations like this one on more than one occasion sitting in the same room as the family's. I have witnessed the tears and the heart ache.

These situations can go two ways , love can keep them together or love will rip their hearts out. I have said I want to see this couple and their children have a happy end to this. Will they have a happy end? In most cases the answer is no, but that does not mean without support it can't be a happy ending because it can. It will take one hell of a lot of love to make this work though.

As for talk about leaving here by any member you really need to try to be me here , the venom that was spat at me from another member here whilst I was away is keeping me from logging in here but I am not leaving I shall just try to stay out of things.

 

I said I was going to stay out of this and if anyone involved wants me to just say so and I will respect your wishes but, do not ask another question of me because then I would have to ignore you and that is not in my nature.

 

So Miranda if you wish me to stay out of it I will or anyone else here but , I will answer a question that was asked. Miranda asked am I saying that transgenders cannot be parents too? . Yes is the answer you can be parents , very good parents but you do need to prepare yourselves and you may need to protect your children more than other parents. Can you do it? I say you can but there is always a but! You may just not. As I said it can work two ways.

 

It is getting close to 5am here so I am going to grab a couple of hours sleep before the sun rises.

 

I do truly wish you all in this family the best of luck and all of the good wishes I can from such a distance.

 

Take care , Julia xx

Well none of this matters now. We are getting divorced. She's been seeing someone else and went so far as to go on a date last night with her telling me she was playing pool with a different guy friend.

That is so sad to hear Miranda. It is an all to often ending though and I guess you are are feeling even more cheated on now.

You still are a truly amazing woman and do not deserve any of this. You now know all of the signs and the feeling of being lied to and cheated on. At some point in your future you will meet someone special who you can trust and spend more happy times with that does have a happy ending.

I hope you and your two beautiful children can move on as soon as possible and although the father of your children will always be that , you now know what kind of person you married. Liars and cheats are plentifull in this world but there are good people out there too , you deserve to find one of them.

 

Can you please stay with GS? You have a lot to offer this website. Your experiences can help others that come here and I do realise that it may be painfull to share them. If you look at it from the point that you have had that awefull experience and suffered the pain you may feel you can get something back knowing that you have helped others or had the chance to maybe prevent it happening to another like you. If you can help prevent this happening to just one other family or couple then you may feel everything you have gone through has had some worth however bad it has been.

Time is only a healer that has no set limit in that healing process , there is no speed limit for each individual but it will heal.You have amazed us with your strengths and now you need them more for you and your children , this is now about you and your children.

 

I guess I am not your favourite person here but I have always told it like it is. Again please stay but also take all the time you need to sort your life out first. You could have a lot to offer others here in the future by staying . You may decide you have no wish to even talk about it and we would all respect you for that and never think anything bad of you. You have gained a lot of respect here and you will have support if you ever need it.

 

Sending you one big huge hug from myself here in the UK. You touched me in a very big way.

 

Take care of yourself and your children because that is what matters now .

 

Sending you my love , Julia xx

This post was edited by Former Member at October 8, 2014 1:16 PM BST

Really sorry to hear this Miranda. Many of us know how it feels.
You're an itelligent, articulate and caring person and I think you've found a few admirers here. I certainly admire your dignity and grace throughout all of this.
We're always here if you ever need someone to talk to.
xx

I am so sorry, it's so much to take on board, for you Miranda, taking on your husbands gender identity problems, standing by him, giving support and care,   this betrayal is beyond comprehension.   

 

Lucy has it spot on,  ''You're an itelligent, articulate and caring person and I think you've found a few admirers here. I certainly admire your dignity and grace throughout all of this.

 

I wonder if this new woman will be so understanding, personally I hope she finds it repulsive and makes him feel like the loser he is.    My thoughts are with you.

 

I  100% agree with Lucy and Crissie Miranda. If what I typed above does not make much sense it was typed in a hurry as I had a meeting to get to but I had to respond but the thought was there for you.

 

You from the start of this have given nothing but support for your husband for it all to be thrown back in your face. You are far to special a woman to have that happen to you. There are not many genetic females in this world that would do what you have done for their husband.

 

When your life is turned upside down like yours has please beware of any more lies from your husband. He will come running back at some point full of apologies and more lies , please be carefull for your own sake and the sake of your children.

We are all thinking of you so take care of yourself and your children , Julia xx.

 

PS: Yes you did read right , I do agree with Lucy 100% , our opinions clash most times but this is about you now . xx

This post was edited by Former Member at October 8, 2014 1:16 PM BST

Miranda, What I think  some of us picked up on was  his post about keeping his penis, to keep you happy and fulfill his manly duties, nothing about how you, and your feelings,   Not realy indicative of how most transexual feel about, wanting to continue doing manly things.
All the research he apparently did, nothing about how hormone treatment would affect this, and his ability to perform. wonder if he explained that to the gender councellor who would have had strong reservations for putting him forward straight away for HRT.
Your sincerity and devotion were never in doubt.   hang on in there, your worth more than this.

This post was edited by Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL at October 8, 2014 1:15 PM BST

I am thinking that looking through this whole thread that you Miranda have been truly selfless. Your husband has been selfish from the start. Did he stop and think of you? Selfish people only think of themselves most of the time , you must feel so used. All we can do is guess and even you must do after the lies . The stuff about the therapist was most likely lies too , he must have seen that person more than once and fooled them aswell get that prescription. Where is his  love for you in all of this? . I did say transgender people can be good parents , your children have had a lucky escape so that is the only good thing I can find in this now.

You are the perfect mother you have shown that with your strengths through out this. He would never make a good mother with the track record posted here. Lie after lie and then cheating on you. As Crissie says "You are worth more than this" . 

Julia xx

Hi Miranda;

 

I'm so sorry that you have had to endure all this. There are no words that can describe this type of betrayal and overwheliming loss after everything you have tried to do. Please try to remember that these were NOT your decisions. You are entitled to a better life for you and your children. All this is not your fault.

 

xx

marissa

Thank you all very much for the kind words of support. I'm sorry I haven't been back, it's been hectic. I was curious if you know if GD, real or "fake", can be congruent with a different disorder. Such as a sociopath?

Not necessarily congruent, but having GD doesn't exclude any personality disorder.
I've met one or two borderline sociopaths with GD, but one disorder does not cause the other, in my opinion.
xx

Okay. I guess like could a sociopath claim to have GD and obviously be manipulative because it's fun or new or exciting but then once that wears off, suddenly they never had it? Idk how to word it right lol

It's not something I've ever heard of happening, but who knows how sociopathy may manifest itself. I would have thought it would be unlikley such a person would stay on a course of hormones for long.
Do you suspect this to be the case with your husband, Miranda?
xx

Yeah, he fits every single description to a T of a sociopath. And stopped taking hormones and said he's "not in the mood" to dress or transition anymore.

Definitely something else going on there. Sociopath, bi-polar... or just bonkers. He needs help for his destructive behaviour.
We really feel for you Miranda.
xx

Hi Miranda.

This is a classic case of misdiagnosis and from what you have said above it is clear it is not a permanant gender identity problem. The therapist needs a good kick up the arse , your husband needs more than a good kick up the arse , and the person who prescribed the hormones needs a good kick up the arse too. This would not happen in the UK or if it did people would lose their jobs.

I did point out in a post that has vanished that a diagnosis should not be made untill all other possible disorders are ruled out. Bi-polar is the most common one mainly because of the convincing personality change. Not in the mood? That is no help to you after everything he has put you through , yes he does have a problem but just look at the fallout and how this has affected you and your family life.

I know you are strong you have shown that , you also have compassion. I hope you do follow up on the divorce because you are not safe living like this , your children are not either. If I were in your situation I would remove him from your family life ASAP at least untill he gets a diagnosis on what his real problem is. Some men can and do dress as females as a form of escapism , he may deep down want to escape from you and even your children. The main problem you have is you can no longer trust him or believe anything he tells you. He has a proven track record of cheating and is a liar , it maybe down to illness but he admited he did know what he was doing.

 

As he is so unpredictable be prepared to call 911 if you ever feel you and your children are at risk. Untill you know what is actually wrong with him you do not know what will come next. The best thing anyone can do in your situation is make him leave , just pack his bags for him if you need to , it must be like living with the devil , sounds harsh but you need to move on , you do not deserve this and your children need a more stable life too.

 

Take care , Julia xx

I hope this is a coincidence. American female author M E Thomas  Author of the book Confessions of a Sociopath , available fom Amazon and interviews of her on the internet , Huffington post ect.

Right now and since I found out, he's been at a friends so I can pack. Today I'm moving all my stuff to my moms and then we will be there. I'll have to look that M E Thomas up. Although I don't think its him because those aren't his first two initials nor his female persona initials. I almost can't read anything about sociopaths anymore. It makes my stomach turn. There's anforum for them and the way they talk like they're superior and smarter and the better way to live is like reading a confession from a killer. But he did pick the right victim since I'm an empath. It helps reading this stuff because now I'm being very objective and very guarded

OK Genius. What did you figure out and How?

Hi Julia- Mine was just friendly banter, although you may be a genius. Seriously, I could from the beginning see the situation represted as a strange one. However, I have seen the same before. In this case I am willing to believe the proposed story, until I see evidence to the contrary. Sorry, I could not see the hard evidence.

Hugs.

Jacqueline

Julia Ford said:

Never seen this happen before.........

Cristine, Shye (GS Admin) said:

What the Hell happened here

Miranda Thomas said:

I can't see any of the comments anymore....

Is it not time, ladies, to put aside our own personal prejudices about what might or might not be factual about Miranda's situation.  All that is happening now is that Miranda seems to have lost all faith in this site as being a helpful and empathetic place to be.  Julia, who is known to be forthright, seems to think that some how, this forum is being slighted and demeaned.

 

For me, both of you would benefit from a few deep breaths and a moment of self contemplation..  Yes, both of you. Julia, you know I care for you, but in truth, I am too stupid to see where you are coming from.   Miranda, I tried to help you too.  You came here in good faith and asked for help, which, I think, you received. 

 

Please, for the sake of all of us who do care, can we drop the personal attacks?  Who benefits?  Not the staff of GS nor the members.  Not Miranda, Not Julia. We all have the right to be wrong.  Can we settle for that - please

 

Jacqueline Vivaldi said:

Hi Julia- Mine was just friendly banter, although you may be a genius. Seriously, I could from the beginning see the situation represted as a strange one. However, I have seen the same before. In this case I am willing to believe the proposed story, until I see evidence to the contrary. Sorry, I could not see the hard evidence.

Hugs.

Jacqueline

 

I have deleted derogatory comments and other associated rhetoric.    EVERYONE is entitled to offer advice and have an opinion, but when posts reflect badly on this site and its fundemental aims to help and assist people in need and brings it into disrepute,   They will be deleted.   The integrity of GS WILL be maintained above everything.

 

regardless of individuals personal intuition/suspicions.

 

This thread is now closed.

This post was edited by Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL at October 30, 2014 11:37 PM GMT

We have taken a perfectly reasonable idea (people caring about and helping one another) and taken it to hell in a handcart. Does the Golden Rule not apply here? Are we not alienated already?  There is more than enough room for all of us and our opinions in this place. The whole idea behind GS is to help people like us who may not have the information they need and that we may possess. To help them learn from our experiences. This site reflects the philosphy that "in here" we should treat each other fairly and respectfully  because we are much more alike than we are different. A famous quote said " I may not agree with what you have to say but I will defend to the death your right to say it".

This thread is now closed.