Please Help Amy

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    A couple of days back one of our site admins, Marissa Mallo, alerted us to the plight of one of our Gender Society members.  After coming out as TG, Amy Hepker has lost everything and is now living in her car!  Read her story at:

    http://www.tampabay.com/news/humaninterest/amy-hepker-embraces-transgender-identity-but-at-great-cost/2204866

    We just couldn't stand by and do nothing so we have started an official Gender Society collection to try to raise some funds to help Amy get back on her feet.  All donations will go directly to Amy's own Paypal account.  Remember, this could easily have happened to any of us.

    Please go to http://gendersociety.com/donation-box/index.html now to make a donation to our sister in need.

    Thank you, Katie   x

    Success is the ability to go from one failure to the next without any loss of enthusiasm!
      November 7, 2014 9:26 AM GMT
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  • thank you so much, katie for doing all this on behalf of one of our sisters whose is half a world away. Smile

      November 7, 2014 5:59 PM GMT
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  • It's by pure luck that I found that Amy is one of our members. I had just posted that article about her on our news page. You are aware that we have a news page, right? I was in the storage closet downstairs cleaning out some old outdated member files in a dusty file cabinet when I saw Amy's member file. You could hear my steel trap mind clank all over the internet when I made the connectionWink. That is when I posted her article on the activity page and Katie saw it and the rest is herstory (the female version of history)! Please take a moment to do what you can for one of our own who is having a really bad time. Amy has NOT asked us for anything, Katie contacted her. Amy doesn't have a "gofundme" site where she's asking for people to fund her transition or pay for her breast implants. She just needs food to eat and a roof over her head (beside the roof of her car, which beats nothing but not by much). Ok, I'm off my soap box now. Please do what you can for Amy. She could be anyone one of us. Well, except for Katie. She's so broke from keeping this place afloat that she already lives in a cardboard box. It's a large cardboard box though...and it has dial up internetLaughing

     

    Thanks and Love all of you!

     

    marissa

      November 7, 2014 10:12 PM GMT
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  • I have had hard times in my life as I am sure you all have. If I see a wrong I will do my best to right it and this is wrong for Amy to have to live like this. I am far from well off but it has been my pleasure to help Amy. You can too.

     

    Please help Amy with as much as you can. It does not have to be much as it all adds up but please give something. Try to imagine how you would be feeling right now if this was happening to you!! You would like some help I am sure. With Christmas coming very soon just think what she will be doing and what you will be doing. Thank you in advance.


    Also special Thanks to Marissa for spotting this and special Thanks to Katie for setting it up.


    Take care , Julia xx

    This post was edited by Former Member at November 24, 2014 11:17 PM GMT
      November 15, 2014 10:26 AM GMT
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  • This is one of the great things about this place - a place to communicate, listen, and help. 
      November 24, 2014 11:18 PM GMT
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  • Hi Ladies and Gentlemen,


    I just wanted to give you an update. 


    I want to Thank Everyone who has Donated to help me.  Without the Donations, I would be still on the Streets, as it is, I was able to get a Motel room and I am starting my third week here.  The Motel is not the greatest, but is warm and dry.  This would not be possible without Donations as I am still without a job and I still have not been approved for SSI Disability. 


    I have been trying hard to find a room I can rent or use, rather than
    being in a motel.  I have been posting on Craigslist and responding to
    posts trying to find someone who will open their homes and their hearts
    to me.  The Main thing is I want to stay in the St. Petersburg, FL area,
    as this is where my Friends and doctors are. 


    My cat Shadow enjoys being able to run around a room, although he misses watching the squerrils in the Park that we used to park in.  In another week we will probably be back out there once again. 


    The Donations also help me get the items a Lady (Trans Lady) Needs Day to Day.  They also help me pay my three bills that I have, Car Insurance, Phone and Storage Unit.  Plus Gas for the car.  I have had to sell almost everything I had to get this far.  I don't have much stuff left except Clothes and Tools.

    Thank You again and GOD BLESS!!!
    Amy Hepker

      November 25, 2014 6:26 PM GMT
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  • HAPPY THANKSGIVING and Thanks for Giving

      November 27, 2014 12:50 PM GMT
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  • UPDATE:

     

    I am back on the Streets again.  I ran out of Donation money and once again I am in my car with Shadow.  We stay in a Park during the day and sleep in the car at night in a large parking lot in a Mall.

     

    Please if anyone can help, Shadow and I would be very Grateful.

     

    I am still trying to find someone who will open their home and open their heart and let us stay for a while until we can get back on our feet.

     

    Thank You again and GOD BLESS!!!

    Amy Hepker

      December 2, 2014 1:53 PM GMT
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  • It's me, the voice of Christmas present, asking you to remember...

    Tis the Season... to be grateful...

    For those we love and who love us  openly, unconditionally without using blinders. Who make us want to be better than we are because that's what they deserve...

    For cozy homes, warm beds,  hot, steamy showers, and full bellies...

    For Egg Nogs, Wassel and Hot Chocolate with lots of those little marshmallows...

    For all the other things and people, as we rush head long through our frantic lives, that we should be grateful for...

     

    We do things differently during the Holidays. We act differently because we choose to. We treat people differently during this season because we choose to do the "right" thing even when no is looking...

     

    One thing that makes us feel good is helping people who have, through no fault of their own, fallen on hard times or have fallen through the cracks in the system.

    So, we donate to the Salvation Army bell ringers, the Red Cross, the local children's hospital and thousands of other charities in the hopes that we can assist those people who need help the most.

     

    You have an  opportunity to help one of our own.

    Helping Amy in Florida with a donation of any size will keep her from sleeping in her car in a parking lot at the mall.

    It will help her get enough food to eat. Occasionally, a clean bed and a hot shower.

    Things we take for granted...

    She is our sister. If not us, who? If not now, when?

     

    GS gets no part of your donation, nothing.

    PayPal gets no part of your donation, zero.

    Whatever you choose to donate to Amy, she gets 100%.

     

    If every active member donated $1 to Amy, she would have safety net until she can find another job.

     

    Please take a moment to help one of our own.

     

    Most of us live paycheck to paycheck. Any one of us could be Amy.


    Amy thanks you and I thank you.



    Will that get me off your back? No

    I'm like that bad case of gonorrhea you just can't seem to get rid of.

    I'm not giving up. Not until you hear me.

    What's in it for me? I have been where Amy is and was lucky enough to have people I barely knew help me.

    Amy needs to be that lucky.

    We should be those people.

     

      December 3, 2014 4:26 PM GMT
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  • Good luck Marissa and please keep trying. If anything bad happens to Amy which I truly hope does not then maybe people will listen if there is a next time.

     

    Take care , Julia xx

      December 3, 2014 5:40 PM GMT
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  • Update:

     

    I want to say Thank You to Everyone who has Contributed Donations to me.  The Donations are well accepted and used to get things I and Shadow needs.

     

    With Christmas closing in Fast, I am still witout a place to stay.  Although I do live in Florida, it is very cold at night, being close to 30 Degrees.  Yes, it gets cold here, and when you are living in your car it feels even colder.  It is very uncomfortable in my little car also, it is a Nissan 200SX 2 door, very little leg room for a 6'1" person.

     

    MERRY CHRISTMAS

     

    Thank You and GOD BLESS!!!

    Amy hepker

    This post was edited by Amy Hepker at December 20, 2014 12:13 AM GMT
      December 9, 2014 7:13 PM GMT
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  • Hi Amy! We are thinking of you. There is not a day that goes by that your current situation is not on the home page. All I can say is just hold in there and things can only get better.

     

    Take care and best wishes , Julia x

      December 9, 2014 9:58 PM GMT
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  • We will do our best to make sure that your plight is kept HIGHLY visible, Amy.  There are people out there who could buy me, my house my car, and never miss it from their small change.

     

    I KNOW exactly what it is to be there.  I came home from school one day to find my mother burning my only spare pair of shoow in the fire.  It was deep in snow outside.  We had no other fuel.  That is literally true.  That woman sacrificed everything she had to make me safe, to keep me well.  I swore I would never see someone like that ever again. I have not always been able to fulifil that vow, but I have tried.

     

    To those of you who cannot afford to help Amy, I am sorry.  For those of you who can, and will not, then I despise you.

    What in God's name is $1 to you.  Any Christians out there whould COULD afford a buck or to to help, but refuse to, yes refuse to, ask yourself - what would Jesus would have done.  And when He asks you that question, I hope you have a good answer!

     

    For those of you have no time for religion. I respect your views.  Strane, though that some of the people who have donated are of exactly that view.  So, then , Brothers and Sisters in Christ - what say you?

      December 19, 2014 6:48 PM GMT
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  • Amanda I have made Tampa Bay Times aware of what we here at GS have done for Amy and sent them the link. I have asked them to update me as soon as possible on what is happening where Amy's situation is concerned.

     

    Take care , Julia xxx

      December 19, 2014 6:54 PM GMT
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  • Hi Ladies and Gentlemen,

     

    Amanda and Julie, I Thank You for the Kind words.  I am still living in my car and getting a little down with Christmas fast approaching. 

     

    Last night I was at a Food store killing time until I could lay down to sleep, and I seen a guy having a hard time with his truck, it had no power, but had a charged battery.  GOD told me to go help this person, I was a little reluctant at first.  How is this person going to react when Amy comes to help, but GOD kick me in the butt and told me to go help.  I went over and got out of my car and asked what the problem was and at first he just told me no power then he looked at me and seen this male voice coming from a very tall Lady.  I got in my truck removing bags of clothes to get at my tool box and I pulled out my test light and found within a few minutes that he had a bad Negative cable connection.  We had it going right away, I went to put my test light away and this guy says that he also dresses.  I was supprised and he said that he has been dressing in private for years.  He seen all my clothes in the truck and said it looks like you are living in your car and I told him yes.  I was getting ready to get in my car and leave and he asked if he could help with a room and I told him that was not neccesary as GOD told me to help him.  I told him that I could not get a room for just one night as my cat was hard to get into a room and hard to leave so I declined and the guy said here take this money holding out $80 and I told him no and he insisted I take it.  I started crying when he gave me the money.  As much as I needed the money I do not ask for it, except to GOD.  He gave me his card also and said when I call ask for Audrey.  I have another friend now and he got on his way so his Ice Cream would not melt.  There is a GOD and he works in mysterious ways at times, but he is there.

     

    I want to Thank You All for the help you have all given me whether or not you have donated.  Your Prayers work also.  I do not ask for donations, but I will not turn them down as, I need them for my Cat (Shadow) and I need them to live.

     

    MERRY CHRISTMAS

    Thank You and GOD BLESS!!!

    Amy Hepker

      December 20, 2014 10:18 AM GMT
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  • Dear Amy;

     

    All of us here are very concerned that things don't seem to be improving for you at all. I'm going to list some resources that might be available to you that you may not have thought of...

     

    1. The American Red Cross - may be able to help you with temporaray shelter and food.

    2. The Humane Society of the United States - may be able help you with food and care for Shadow.

    3. The Salvation Army is a faith based organization that may be able to help you with shelter, food and other assistance.

    4. Have you tried to get temporary assistance to needy families (TANF)? You can get food stamps and shelter from the state of Florida?

    5. How goes the struggle for your disability case? Is there anyone working on your behalf?

    6. Have you contact the local office of the Human Rights Campaign or the local LGBTQ office to see if they may resources available to you that might use?

    7. Are you going to turn 62 anytime soon? You could consider taking early Social Security benefits. Yes, I know it reduces the total amoutn you get per month but it wouild also make low income housiing available to you at the same time.

     

    I don't mean to make this sound like an inquisition that is not my intent. I think if we had a little more information we might be able to help you more.

     

    I hope you have a merry Christmas, honey. I hope the New Year will bring you peace and prosperity.

     

    Lots of Love;

     

    marissa

      December 21, 2014 1:07 AM GMT
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  • Hi Marissa,

     

    I have been using the donations for the things we need to get by on.  I always make sure Shadow has food and I do get food stamps thathelps.  I did have a friend that put me in a motel for 2 weeks and I was able to get an additional 2 week with the donation money.  I had to get out as of Dec. 9th as my money was running out.  I tried to get a room by paying for a month, and I diod find one, but the Lady wanted someone who was working so that she was sure to get the next months rent.  it was $350 a month which was not bad, as a matter of fact rooms go for a lot more around here.  I have been placing Posts on Craigslist for months try to find someone who would help me with a room, but all of the people that respond are not in this area.  Most are 20 miles away or further and I need to stay around here as my storage unit and doctors and Cardioligist is here.  I even had one guy from Oreagon offer me a room.  I am not going there.  I have been in contact with the Shelters and none will take me with a Cat.  The Salvation Army is working with Families trying to keep these people off the streets which I can totally understand. 

     

    I have been buying Cat food for Shadow with Donation money, he is well fed.  He has dry food as well as treats and a can of wet cat food and I even give him some Tuna everyday.  He is filling out quite well.  I also have to buy cat litter weekly and the donation money goes for that also.  I have many things I need as well that I use the donation money for, Shaving supplies, Warm clothes, Toiletries, Gas for the car.  I have three bills, Storage unit, Car insurance and Phone this alone is $180.  Gas for the car is around $15 to $20 a week.

     

    The last I heard of the Disability is that I have been denied twice now and it will now go to a Hearing, but they were saying it could be 14 months before I can get in there and that was 2 months ago, but I am trying to get a Hardship case since I am living in my car.  That could get it sooner.  The Cardioligist is trying to get my blood pressure regulated.  It is still way to high,  200/100 there abouts.  Sometimes more sometimes less but this still trying to get adjusted.  I had a Heart monitor on 2 weeks ago and they found my heart beat way to slow around 35 beats a minute when I was sleeping and my heart would stop for 2 1/2 seconds at a time sometimes.  The Cardioligist thinks it was the meds so that is why he is trying to adjust them.  I went for a heart Echo Yesterday, but won't get the result for up to 6 business days, so it may end up being after Christmas before I get the results.

     

    I have 3 years and 3 months before I am 62 and I cannot wait.  If I do not get the disability I will have to wait until then to get my retirement.  That is a long wait though.  I am still trying to get a job, with no luck so far.

     

    I don't like being on the streets as you never know when someone will screw with you, so far I have had GOD on my side and I have been protected.  I did not want to leave the motel and go back on the street, but I had no choice.  You don't realise how go it is to have a home until you are homeless.  I am so glad I do have my car, but it is small and very uncomfortable.  My feet and legs are still swollen and have been since just after the 4th of July.  This is due to my slow heart valve.

     

    Once again I say THANK YOU to Everyone who has donated or Prayed for me.

     

    GOD BLESS You all!!!

    Amy Hepker and Shadow

      December 21, 2014 2:34 AM GMT
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  • Hi Amy.

    We have been doing our best to help you and with no disrespect intended but you must realise that we do not have a big pot of cash. We too have bills to pay. I am going to have to pick you up on a few points because you seriously need to adjust your thinking for your own sake.

     

    The people that are responding to you with rooms are 20 miiles away? . Would it not be easier to take one of those rooms because 20 miles is just a what ,  20 - 30 minute drive away? . Surely that is better than sleeping in your car?. It is just a short drive if you need something from storage.

    Another point is if you did take a room 20 miles away would you even need storage?. You did post or tell me that you did not have much in storage , mainly tools , would you need storage and its costs?. Once you have taken a room even if it is 20 miles away you will be safe and please let us know what it is that is actually holding you where you are? . All it is , is a car park.

     

    If people are willing to offer you a room have you thought it could be a chance for you to make a fresh start? . You need to make that fresh start for your own sake and health too , and you will also make new friends. I know you have strong beliefs in God but God is not helping you people are. No God told me to help you my heart did! I think you will find that most who have helped you have no belief in a God. I respect your beliefs but face facts those beliefs are not helping you and prayers are not either.

    Please for your own sake think about moving forward , make that short move and you make a fresh start because with that room your health will improve and you may even find work too.

     

    We think of you here at GS so now you need think of you. Think of that room with a bed in it just 20 miles away and compare it to your car , I know where I would rather sleep.

     

    Spend some time thinking about that move but not to long. It could turn out to be the best move you ever made because you are not safe where you are.

     

    Try to have a safe and good Christmas.

     

    Take care , Julia .

     

      December 21, 2014 8:02 AM GMT
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  • Hi Julia,

     

    Thank You for your thoughts. 

     

    I do understand that these are people donating and I am and have been Thanking Everyone.  I understand we all have bills.  I hate being out here myself.  I would not wish it on anyone especially when the temps get in the 40s.  I cannot afford to leave the car run all night, so I wear 2 tops, a sweater, and a hooded sweater and a hooded sweatshirt along with a comforter to try and stay warm.  I hate being cold forsure.  That is one reason I moved to Florida 7 years ago.

     

    I understand many people have different beliefs and I do not say whether it is good or bad, all I know is I am so Grateful for all that have helped me and I do Pray everynight for you all of You, whether or not you believe.  I know We are all good people and some of us (there are a lot of us) that do not get what we try to achieve no matter what we do.  I try everyday to get out of this situation.

     

    In this area 20 Miles is a long ways as it is all town driving, one town to another and traffic all the way, My storage unit is a 9X15 and is packed to the roof.  I have never seen any town with such long lights, you are right 20 miles should be 20 minutes, but I went to the doctor one day 15 miles away and it took my 45 minutes.  I am not trying to make excuses, it is just the way it is here.

     

    There are more cirumstances to the room, it was not actually a room, it would be sleeping in a recliner in the living room, where people would pass. No place for the stuff in my car.  Plus they did not have room for my storage Items.  I want to get out of the storage unit that is $60 a month I would not have to pay.  Moving it all someplace would be the cost of a Uhual plus gas.  Those things use a lot of gas.  Plus with my heart condition moving everything may not end well.  Then if I do make a move and move everything and it does not work out, I may not have the money to move everything again.

     

    I do have to concider every aspect of a place to stay, and I do. 

     

    I  do not want to depend on anyone to support me, I want a job, I wish I could find one, I have been trying for around 2 1/2 years.  If you cannot donate please do not feel obligated to.  I do not expect anything, but I thank You and Everyone for anything I get.

     

    Being alone in the Holiday season is not easy either.  I so want to meet the person I am supposed to be with, but as many Transgenders know, it is not easy finding someone who wants to be with us, even though we are the Best people out there.  We not only get discriminated against in the work place, we are passed over when we are on dating sights, and I am on most of them.  Maybe being honest is my down fall, but that is who I am.

     

    Thank You All and GOD BLESS!!!

    Amy Hepker

      December 21, 2014 9:59 AM GMT
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  • Hi Everyone,

     

    I just wanted to add,  I Do Not Drink, I Do Not Do illegal Drugs, I Do Not Smoke, so you know the money that is and has been given goes to a good cause, Keeping me alive and safe.  It also pays to keep my car going, so I have a safe place to be instead of on the ground.  My Car is a 1996 Nissan 200SX 5 speed 1.6 4 Cylinder 2 door with not a lot of room once I have the things I use everyday in it.  It is very dependable and good on gas.  I do the best I can with what I have.

     

    Thank You and GOD BLESS!!!

    Amy Hepker

     

    P.S. If you have not seen it as of yet, There is an Article on me in the December-January Issue of Frock Magazine.

      December 21, 2014 8:24 PM GMT
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  • Hi Amy.

    I do not want to make this about me but , I do sympathise and empathsise and I will tell you why.

    10 years ago my partner of 23 years died in my arms as I was waiting for the paramedics. I had tried everything I could to get her heart beating again.

    I could not enter my home from that day and lived in my car so I do know what it is like. I found a place to live a lot more than 20 miles away.

    When I moved to the town I live now my life was threatened by a nut case with a hammer. For my safety the police removed me from my new home and I spent 3 months in a womans homeless unit. I was safe there and I made a lot of friends but it was not home.

    I then found yet another new home. I paid Two men to collect my personal belongings and bring them to my new home. I told them do what you wish with the rest of my belongings. That whole event cost me thousands of GBP.

     

    I had no choice but to make a new start and it was the best thing I ever done. I still say you really do have not much of an option and you do need to move on.

     

    A few of us here were going to get together to help you over Christmas as we were trying to find out how your situation was. Then you posted a man offered you $80 and help for a room and you said no to it. Can you see how that looks to us here?. He was standing in front of you and also opened up to you. Out of the 20.000 plus members here a few of us have helped you and we know you thank us for it but we cannot continue with only a few of us.

     

    It would be nice to see others help for a change but please look at that list that Marissa posted. You also have an LGBT Church near you what do they do , nothing? . Go there and tell them you need help is that not what they are supposed to do for people?.

     

    For now take care , Julia

      December 21, 2014 10:55 PM GMT
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  • Hi Julia,

     

    I am so sorry to hear what had happened to you.  I do understnad what you are saying.  I did take the $80 from the Guy and it hurts me to even get money from everyone here.  I don't want to live off other people and I am trying not to.  You all have helped in a Big way, I never ecpected anyone to help out, But I do Thank You all for doing so.  If I everr do get a winfall of money I will pay everyone back as I am keeping track of all that I have received and who gave it. 

     

    To me this is starting over from the day I was evicted from my own home.  Just days before having to move out I accidently killed my cat of 13 years by stepping on her by accident, I was totally devistated as she has been through a lot with me and I killed her.  I lost a Lady a fewe years ago myself, but that had nothing to do with what is going on with me now.  She had a Quaduple Bypass and then complications,  I was beside her at the hospital for over 3 weeks and watched her die slowly.  It also tore me up inside.  That is one reason why I came out and decided to be me as Amy.  Life is to short to keep pretending you are someone you are not. 

     

    I have been to 3 different churches in the area trying to get any help I could, First Unity, MCC of St. Pete and the one I go to know Christ the cornerstone Church.  They have helped me the most, but not with money but in other ways, with food and prayers.  The People are very accepting at all three churches, but they all say they are strapped for money and have nothing to offer and I have even tried to find out if the had housing or could help with that and that was another dead end.  I have been trying, I am still trying to get ahead and get out of this car.  Right now I have a friend with a plan to get me out of my car, there again it will only be for a few months, but that is better than risking it out in a Parking lot at night.  I will keep you up to date on that.

     

    As for the Article that was done about me in the newspaper. I was hoping to raise awareness what all Transgender go through and not just me.  Some of the results were not good and John the reporter that did the story is getting a bad wrap for it.  Many people think I am getting what I deserve being without a Home for being Transgender.  Many do not understand and do not want to, Many do and are understanding.  I have had donatiions from the Article, but what I was hoping for was a Room to stay in, that has not come about.  The donations from the Article were not that many from the area.  I do believe it was the timing of the article when it came out, if it would have come out on Sunday as it was supposed to it would have been seen by millions, but it was pushed back because of the Elections that came just a few days later.

     

    I do Thank You all.

    GOD BLESS and Merry Christmas!

    Amy

      December 22, 2014 1:01 AM GMT
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  • Hi Amy

     

    Wishing you a Merry Christmas and hoping that you are warm and safe for the holidays. I hope that your circumstances improve in the New Year and you and Shadow are in a better place.

     

    hugs;

     

    marissa

      December 25, 2014 5:11 PM GMT
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  • Thank You Marissa, MERRY CHRISTMAS to You and Everyone Here.  I am hoping and Praying things turn around real soon.  Thank You Again for all the help and Support I have recieved from all the Readers and Contributors.

      December 25, 2014 10:34 PM GMT
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  • Hi Amy.

    I need you to help me to help you. Next time you log in here can you please answer this because I live in the UK and do not understand things that go on in the USA where housing is concerned.

    I have an idea that may get you out of your car and into permanent housing. I need to know if you get any government support to help pay your rent?. Over here in the UK people who have no job or little income get most if not all their rent paid , would you get help?.

    The problem is the ones that do care about you , how you are living , your whole sitiuation cannot continue to keep donating. Others may help but I think if they were going to most of them would have by now. Lets see if we can sort this out because you know as we do you cannot continue like this.

     

    Take care and best wishes , Julia x

      December 26, 2014 8:15 PM GMT
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