Hi Sam, not sure if you are still kicking about the site somewhere.. but i have just started on the site and looked around and saw your post...Your situation might have changed, but if not then I felt I just had to write something..!! If you find that your partner is transgender, then yes it might be a shock, and yes you may feel they are wrapped up in themselves.... but if you once loved them and cared for them, then surely you would want to try and understand them...! Yes it might feel they are consumed and selfish also, but to go through the transition that someone who is transgender has to go through, is not easy.. and yes it feels unfair at times, when you may have needs and wants and desires of your own.. but to truly care for someone you have to first understand who they are.... and it has to be unconditional...! that is if you truly want to understand why their behaviour upsets you or possibly deprives you of something you long for or want from that person. There are so many layers to begin with from being born and becoming the person you truly identify with and that takes time.... If you are still having difficulties then you are welcome to contact me and if I am able to bring any reasoning to your thoughts or questions, then I will be glad to give you support... ! I don't know how old this post is, but if there is anyone who might feel similar confused, hurt, or angry feelings toward s partners or someone they love in this situation, that might need help to understand what is going on, then get in touch...! It is not always easy but there is always hope to find out things and the possibility to understand..!! .....................