|
|
|
Notifications
|
|
|
|
Hi , Thought i would just put something down here for the folks who visit here.A bit introspective though
. I have just had a week holiday, my partner is visting her father in Germany. I am at home with dogs doing things around the House , and yes enjoying a few shopping trips . . pretty much Donna fulltime , and its difficult to hide the way I am am , but some "bullets have not been bitten" still . I just read Karen Moores Blog 7th September this year , about the true realities of a Transwoman facing the Changes in relationships .
its one thing to tell your long standing partner that you cross dress , that you have problems , and maybe you get cornered with that awful confontation ultimatum. Its a reality that this situation can last for a few years .I find the big problem for me is that I am so forgiving , so ready to put up with it .But there comes a time when :-
- Your Gender therapist at CX in UK says "Somethings gotta give..."
- You can see the "chalk and cheese" of when you are happy as you and the grating Ambiguity of acting out the other.
- You see that the really "awful confrontation Ultimatum" is the cyclically damaging denial that occurs inside
- You may hear from those close to you "But I thought you were happy with the way things are". The translation is I am happy to be with you and help you , making compromising in my own life, living in a kind of hope that you will understand , and that there is a possibility of a better relationship.
- You feel a deep longing to say [ Blurt out loud with emotion] to those around you " Its not the End of the world if I change to be a woman, Really ". In fact it really would be a whole lot better.
-theres a balance of having control of your own life , and the pragmatic,practical of being able to keep yourself in good health and feel a useful part of other peoples lives.For many of us [ and not just Trans], it seems that the ignorance that denial imposes prevents us from getting that degree of control and good mental health in our lives that allows us to move on.
Finally You feel that Those around you have seen the signs , and that this really is the time that they can accept you and allow change.. Wishing you all well Donna XX
back to the house work et al
