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I was over to see a friend the day before yesterday. I was helping her create a Christmas DVD. She's got the most wonderful little girl. I found some clips to put on the introduction page of the DVD. Such cool technology. We talk a lot about Bi-Polar, all of which is so valuable to me. I'm learning more and more about myself and with that information feeling better and better about who I am and how to go forward in life.
My friend Ellie (who gave me the courage to go fulltime) called from Thailand yesterday. She called using SKYPE which is a bit quirky, what with the dropped words and all, but the message did get through. She's through her surgery and on the mend. I'm just so proud of her and happy for her. I was also delighted that she thinks enough of me to call. I have a friend. It is such a nice feeling, being considered a friend. And speaking of friends, I seem to be able to make friends now that I'm Ann. I have friends and its quite novel to me.
Speaking of friends, I joined two new friends (ggs) for a potluck dinner and gabfest. This too was a delight. Each in turn we talked about our issues, cried a bit over the advice we received, listened and offered advice in return. All this was facilitated by caesar salad, crudites, lasagana and cheese cake... oh, and two bottles of red wine and eight bottles of beer and lots and lots of cigarettes
The conversation drifted into sex, what we liked and how we felt and I answered some probing questions about SRS, vaginal depth, aesthetics and orgasms. (These questions came up near the bottom of the second bottle of wine.) I can'te believe how totally I am accepted and how candid the girls can be. One of the girls allowed that she was 'maybe' bi and that I'd missed her flirting signals. Ah, there is still so much to learn.
Today, I was in to see my Psychiatrist. I'm feeling really, really good. He was curious to know what we girls talked about. He doesn't offer a lot of feedback but I was so upbeat that it really didn't matter.
I haven't started looking for a 'real' job yet thats not stressing me anymore. If I can keep my emotions in check -- and it seems that the medication is really helping there -- then I can likely find something that puts the 'money' in 'meaningful'.
The job thing is a puzzle -- I have mixed feelings about what I should do. I am revelling in the freedom of full-time and when I look down the list of jobs on the internet I hear this little voice in my head, "You've claimed who you are, you're free to be and do whatever you want, don't fall into the trap of taking something that isn't you." Its an English accent by the way, so I have to listen, and I do.
