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Okay, some funny stuff tonight.....
Earlier this evening I went to my daughter's school to see her science fair. Me Mum went with me, and let me tell ya, this was not a comfortable ride going in. I finally have everyone (including the wife) agreeing that it is time for me to live on my own. Although it will be a financial hardship, it has to be done. When I was at my house earlier it was difficult to be there after all that's happened. The house was nice and warm, and I didn't want to leave and go back to that situation.
As for the science fair, all the kids looked so cute by their displays. My daughter was especially the little talker when it came to describing her experiment. Quite frankly, I think my wife could have found a more interesting, and less lazy, project than how fast water will boil in the microwave.
But the fun part of the evening was on how people reacted to me. Mind you, I was drab (well, mostly), and so many people there knew about the marital strife. My wife wasn't there at all - she stayed home sick. So, with my hair growing long, my earrings, and everyone trying to figure me out, I went for the high score.
First this very attractive Spanish woman kept checking me out in the hallway. I found out that she was a Spanish teacher at my kid's last school. At one point my daughter said "She's alone, go talk to her." Yeah, a second grade science fair is a great place to get a date. But she did try to get my attention once or twice by hanging around.
Things got even better when I met her current teacher. This woman has to know what is going on, but she was very nice. However, at one point I decided to put on my red bikini and dive into the Lagoon of Stupid Judgment when I made a joke. I told her that when I was my kid's age we had an Anarchist science fair, and my project was how many sticks of dynamite it would take to blow a bank vault. I covered for it later with getting Safira to join in my Dalai Lama joke (totally clean and totally respectful).
Many of the parents did know me, and we joked around quite a bit. But the room almost came to a halt when one of my kid's friends shouted out at me "You have your ears pierced! Boys don't do that." How perceptive. My kid joined in, and both chided me about being weird. I said to her friend "Honey, you have no idea."
THE MEREDITH SCHOOL OF SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS: I went into one of the other rooms to see those projects when I inadvertently conducted a little science experiment of my own. Let's just say my body had a little chemical reaction and I couldn't help myself. I could have put up my own cardboard display that read "Is Silent Really Deadly?" I know, it's gross and not very ladylike. Still, it was funny. Or, it might be.
Got my shrink appointment tomorrow. I have my outfit all ready to go!
