Please Visit Our Sponsor





User's Tags

Debbie Davies 's Entries

4 blogs
  • 11 May 2012
    I kind of need to write this new blog as a "Cathartic" excercise, to share what ive been going through the last couple of months, for as they say..writing it down can be a form of therapy (not that i need that right?) Dont get me wrong..im not going through any emotional drama..in fact its the lack opf emotion that i find confusing..and i have come up with my own little theory which i liken to an elastic band..more about that later..if you have the patience to read on A quick summary of my story so far! Been dressing as far back as i can remember around aged 5. had the (familiar to some) peaks and troughs with my dressing and many many purges. tried to overcompensate by doing all the macho stuff. got married hid my secret for 12 years of marriage..and would have still been doing so if my wife hadnt discovered some "evidence" last year. i was then forced to sit down and "spill" everything. Much to my everlasting relief..she didnt kick me out..dont get me wrong, there were many many tears and shouting sessions, but instead of ostracising me, she chose the path of trying to understand instead. In fact i took the opportunity to try and understand it myself (id never really thought about it as anything other than a fetish). and so i joined this site (Among others) to try and make some sense of it all.     And so at this point, after forty odd years of keeping it all hidden, i was suddenly choosing clothes with my partners approval and discussing the whole scenario about my feelings, wishes etc..my relationship with my wife grew more close during the last year than ever before..go figure.I was a completely different person, since i now carried no secrets and shared everything with my wife, i felt lighter happier and better emotionally (though i still didnt like her to see me as debs). during our initial discussions i told her of my desire to meet others like me, and long story short she okayed it , and i found myself on a plane to Milton Keynes to meet up with some of ther girls from here. i had one of the most memorable and enjoyable times of my life.since then ive had very little desire to dress. so heres where my elastic band theory comes in...   repressing my feelings/desires to dress was like pulling an elastic band back slowly over time..it grows tighter and tighter and has to reach breaking point at some time..   with the discovery of my "secret" the band released.. and i flung myself headlong into buying things talking about everything femme with my wife and booking a trip away..then going! so in 6 months i went from being in the closet with no one knowing..to standing in a nightclub with my new girlfriends all glammed up (even tho id never been out)..theres the elastic goin forward..way past the start point and in the other direction now!     so im about as "out" as i can be at this point (i've even told my best friend) and probably thinking that i will continue in this vein when.......it all goes away. nothing..nada...no desire to dress what so ever..i stopped visiting the chatroom here (where id been a regular fixture) because i didnt feel i could relate to any of the issues being discussed any more.i was an outsider and even felt like a fraud. i only popped in to catch up with some of the great friends id made just to touch base..but i wasnt dressing at all..i almost had another purge!   and so the elastic heads back to (and beyond) point zero back into male mode ..although im not hating it this time.,.its just how i feel   now dont get me wrong, i was never naieve enough to think that my desire to be debs had dissapeared..shes a big part of me and probably diametrically opposite to everything male about me (i mean emotionally not physically..thats a no brainer) and if im honest..i missed her..i missed letting her out (again this is not dressing...but emotionally speaking)   i spoke to my wife  at length and was guilty of projecting my feelings about it on to her..i told her i thought shed be secretly delighted that debs had gone away..but she disagreed and proceeded to tell me that Debs would be back, and that  she'd be fine when that happened..god i love her so much for just that conversation alone!   and already..the elastic moves forward again and i find myself thinking about fashion and make up again and wanting to be debs...but its not a burning desire (for now anyway)..   Ive no doubt ill be out again as debs this year, and as far as my elastic band theory is concerned, i think that it will settle down from going from one extreme to the other..to some kind of middle ground..at least thats what i hope!   meanwhile, ill continue to be around, maybe more sporadically than before, but you aint gettin rid of me!
    1509 Posted by Debbie Davies
  • I kind of need to write this new blog as a "Cathartic" excercise, to share what ive been going through the last couple of months, for as they say..writing it down can be a form of therapy (not that i need that right?) Dont get me wrong..im not going through any emotional drama..in fact its the lack opf emotion that i find confusing..and i have come up with my own little theory which i liken to an elastic band..more about that later..if you have the patience to read on A quick summary of my story so far! Been dressing as far back as i can remember around aged 5. had the (familiar to some) peaks and troughs with my dressing and many many purges. tried to overcompensate by doing all the macho stuff. got married hid my secret for 12 years of marriage..and would have still been doing so if my wife hadnt discovered some "evidence" last year. i was then forced to sit down and "spill" everything. Much to my everlasting relief..she didnt kick me out..dont get me wrong, there were many many tears and shouting sessions, but instead of ostracising me, she chose the path of trying to understand instead. In fact i took the opportunity to try and understand it myself (id never really thought about it as anything other than a fetish). and so i joined this site (Among others) to try and make some sense of it all.     And so at this point, after forty odd years of keeping it all hidden, i was suddenly choosing clothes with my partners approval and discussing the whole scenario about my feelings, wishes etc..my relationship with my wife grew more close during the last year than ever before..go figure.I was a completely different person, since i now carried no secrets and shared everything with my wife, i felt lighter happier and better emotionally (though i still didnt like her to see me as debs). during our initial discussions i told her of my desire to meet others like me, and long story short she okayed it , and i found myself on a plane to Milton Keynes to meet up with some of ther girls from here. i had one of the most memorable and enjoyable times of my life.since then ive had very little desire to dress. so heres where my elastic band theory comes in...   repressing my feelings/desires to dress was like pulling an elastic band back slowly over time..it grows tighter and tighter and has to reach breaking point at some time..   with the discovery of my "secret" the band released.. and i flung myself headlong into buying things talking about everything femme with my wife and booking a trip away..then going! so in 6 months i went from being in the closet with no one knowing..to standing in a nightclub with my new girlfriends all glammed up (even tho id never been out)..theres the elastic goin forward..way past the start point and in the other direction now!     so im about as "out" as i can be at this point (i've even told my best friend) and probably thinking that i will continue in this vein when.......it all goes away. nothing..nada...no desire to dress what so ever..i stopped visiting the chatroom here (where id been a regular fixture) because i didnt feel i could relate to any of the issues being discussed any more.i was an outsider and even felt like a fraud. i only popped in to catch up with some of the great friends id made just to touch base..but i wasnt dressing at all..i almost had another purge!   and so the elastic heads back to (and beyond) point zero back into male mode ..although im not hating it this time.,.its just how i feel   now dont get me wrong, i was never naieve enough to think that my desire to be debs had dissapeared..shes a big part of me and probably diametrically opposite to everything male about me (i mean emotionally not physically..thats a no brainer) and if im honest..i missed her..i missed letting her out (again this is not dressing...but emotionally speaking)   i spoke to my wife  at length and was guilty of projecting my feelings about it on to her..i told her i thought shed be secretly delighted that debs had gone away..but she disagreed and proceeded to tell me that Debs would be back, and that  she'd be fine when that happened..god i love her so much for just that conversation alone!   and already..the elastic moves forward again and i find myself thinking about fashion and make up again and wanting to be debs...but its not a burning desire (for now anyway)..   Ive no doubt ill be out again as debs this year, and as far as my elastic band theory is concerned, i think that it will settle down from going from one extreme to the other..to some kind of middle ground..at least thats what i hope!   meanwhile, ill continue to be around, maybe more sporadically than before, but you aint gettin rid of me!
    May 11, 2012 1509
  • 02 Mar 2012
    At the top of the main page on the Gender Society site, various advertising banners can be seen. One is for StylemeQuirky, http://stylemequirky.com/transgender-dressing-service/ a makeover/styling/wardrobe doctor/photography and much more service. They are based in London but given the right incentive, will travel anywhere! Now lets get one thing straight..i don’t do advertising and I don’t do Free advertising but I simply had to share my experiences at the hands of the stylemequirky team.   BEFORE: I had entered a competition to win a free makeover and photoshoot with Stylemequirky last November and was delighted to be selected as a winner! The mainstay of the company is Poppy Cox a member of GS (hereafter known as Pops) who contacted me to congratulate me. Now Stylemequirky are a very new organism..dedicated to making you feel (and look) wonderful. And the competition was designed to enhance the profile of the company. Ideally Pops wanted all competition winners to be processed (what a horrible word!) before Christmas as they had a marketing timescale to adhere to. Unfortunately I could not make it down to London before February and thanked pops anyway. Rather than leave it at that, Pops promised me that he would do everything in his power to make sure I got my experience with them at a date more suitable for me (which turned out to be Feb 24th).   Now I was very excited about the prospect of being glammed up and having a camera pointed at me (my description of how I thought it would be) but I got even more excited when I got the first taste of exactly how professional the company is! A few weeks before the shoot I engaged in what I can only describe as a bespoke fact finding mission which covered everything from my own thoughts on style, my skin type, hair colour, height, sight, body shape, and on and on! Pops needed to know Everything to make this work to its best advantage. We discussed looks, styles, how your personality can be enhanced or hidden by the use of fashion.. we discussed being Trans and how confidence can be affected. I was as I say pretty nervous but Pops had me reassured even at this early stage. The fact that all my details, feelings and thoughts were being taken into consideration was very satisfying indeed and I felt that my input was valid and that I was thrilled to be able to have some control over the experience rather than just be a “model” Pops told me everything I could expect and kept me updated all the way up to when I arrived at the studio.   DURING:   I arrived with two other GS girls, Faye and Monique.(both previous stylemequirky clients) http://stylemequirkygallery.com/ Monique had booked a paid appointment to coincide with mine and Pops had kindly agreed to pull out all the stops and do both of us concurrently. Faye was there to make tea and lend support (although as I recall she got a free nail painting session from moi!). We were greeted by Pops and Kelly, and within minutes were all chattin away like old pals. Kelly was going to do my make up and Pops was doing Moniques. And so since time was of the essence (us GS girls were going clubbing!) the work began!   From the moment the first lid is lifted from a pot, the first brush is picked up, EVERYTHING was explained in detail..why we use this what works better..techniques are divulged..Pops has various make –up blogs which I’d highly recommend for everyone.if you like what your getting you can purchase online! http://stylemequirky.com/makeup-shop/ As Kelly applied my foundation she demonstrated a sure knowledge of her art. I was extremely happy that I was in good hands! Meanwhile Monique was sitting next to me..the first hint of the smile that I would see a lot of on our nights out appearing.   I risk repetition if I go on..but each little stage..each subtle building of the look was explained thoroughly to us..our opinion was sought as we went along..what techniques we use ourselves etc and much discussion took place about what works and what doesn’t. I took the opportunity to ask about mascaras, foundations, make up removers and much much more!   I used the word subtle back there, and I guess that it’s a pretty important word regarding make up..we all have ways to do it..my own look which I perfected I called “the drunken hooker”..i have big eyes and used to bang on the mascara and eyeliner at a frightening volume!..and here was Kelly, deftly defining my eyes and softly applying mascara to bring out my lashes. And it worked! My eyes were not framed in a circle of black..but beautifully defined..my one regret is that I had had one wine too many on the way to the studio and my big eyes were rather bloodshot..but that’s my fault, not anyone elses!   And so we are in the latter stages of make up..when from along the corridor comes a palpable buzz of energy..Cathy the Stylemequirky “head of enthusiasm” has arrived!   Now ive seen enthusiasm before and ive seen false enthusiasm..but not Cathy! You could power the national grid off this girl for a week I swear! From the moment she breezed in everyone had the biggest grins on their faces. (imagine a soft northern Irish accent shouting I LOVE IT! Accompanied by a delighted squeal and you almost get the picture). She positively oozed positivity which was very infectious! Now don’t get me wrong, All the team are very enthusiastic but I’ve never met anyone who could hold a candle to Cathy lol.   To put things back in perspective for a moment, the enthusiasm is (like all the team) tempered with a dedication to complete professionalism. Although we were all having a good laugh..i would be chattin away to Cathy and suddenly Kelly would appear and move a stray hair back into place..or touch up a blemish which appeared under different lighting.I’d be posing in front of the camera when Cathy would be right beside me adjusting the skirt or pulling at the belt. At all times, one of the team would be looking after you, this goes waaaay beyond pampering and into the realms of deeply caring about how you are doing. Pops was behind the camera and again his attention to detail was amazing.in posing,the difference you can get from moving one foot 3 inches forward is astounding. Pops knows his stuff.. he gets you to pose without knowing you are posing (though I am a self confessed poseur) and manages to get the best results from his models through fantastic direction. Now heres the thing..if we had let them..the team would have worked on and on and on till they got the results we all wanted..we had arrived at around 3:30 and when i asked someone the time they told me it was after 11:00 at night..and Pops was still clicking away..i had been scheduled for three separate looks and had done two...but i decided to call a halt considering we had to go clubbing back in Milton Keynes..thats an important point to remember..it was my decision to stop!   AFTER: I mentioned something similar in a previous blog but just in case you missed it, i think its a fundamental truth of my first time out.. i flew down from Edinburgh to go with the girls on a weekend out, beginning with my StylemeQuirky makeover.. and heres the thing..i was incredibly shy, nervous and kinda self hating before i arrived at the studio (id never been out the house). I walked in with my head down as a man and i walked out choc full of confidence as a woman..alll thanks to the stylemeQuirky team..and im not just talking about make-up..im talking about poise..confidence head up loving yourself feelin that they instilled in me...it completely set me up for the weekend! For that alone i will be eternally grateful. We all jumped in a cab and headed back to pops’ place for a small aperitif before heading back.we were all talking about the session and lovin it! We were talkin about the whole concept and pricing versus time spent while pops was out of the room (sorry pops) and Cathy came out with a truth. She told us how Pops lives and breathes this...and by far the most important thing which sets him aside..he  genuinely CARES about his clients. I didn’t have to be told that at all..i saw it in his mannerisms..his attention to every single detail, the way he would have gladly worked into the wee small hours to get my third outfit shots..even though i wasn’t paying a penny. These things meant a lot to me..and if your comparing dressing services, i think the things in just mentioned should be taken into consideration. As i said, i don’t do Advertising, and this aint one..its just a plain report of the truth. I thought i was going for a makeover and i ended up in an all encompassing experience which enriched my life. To Pops Kelly Cathy, i genuinely thank you for all the care and attention you gave. You went above and beyond in my humble opinion xxxxx
    1748 Posted by Debbie Davies
  • At the top of the main page on the Gender Society site, various advertising banners can be seen. One is for StylemeQuirky, http://stylemequirky.com/transgender-dressing-service/ a makeover/styling/wardrobe doctor/photography and much more service. They are based in London but given the right incentive, will travel anywhere! Now lets get one thing straight..i don’t do advertising and I don’t do Free advertising but I simply had to share my experiences at the hands of the stylemequirky team.   BEFORE: I had entered a competition to win a free makeover and photoshoot with Stylemequirky last November and was delighted to be selected as a winner! The mainstay of the company is Poppy Cox a member of GS (hereafter known as Pops) who contacted me to congratulate me. Now Stylemequirky are a very new organism..dedicated to making you feel (and look) wonderful. And the competition was designed to enhance the profile of the company. Ideally Pops wanted all competition winners to be processed (what a horrible word!) before Christmas as they had a marketing timescale to adhere to. Unfortunately I could not make it down to London before February and thanked pops anyway. Rather than leave it at that, Pops promised me that he would do everything in his power to make sure I got my experience with them at a date more suitable for me (which turned out to be Feb 24th).   Now I was very excited about the prospect of being glammed up and having a camera pointed at me (my description of how I thought it would be) but I got even more excited when I got the first taste of exactly how professional the company is! A few weeks before the shoot I engaged in what I can only describe as a bespoke fact finding mission which covered everything from my own thoughts on style, my skin type, hair colour, height, sight, body shape, and on and on! Pops needed to know Everything to make this work to its best advantage. We discussed looks, styles, how your personality can be enhanced or hidden by the use of fashion.. we discussed being Trans and how confidence can be affected. I was as I say pretty nervous but Pops had me reassured even at this early stage. The fact that all my details, feelings and thoughts were being taken into consideration was very satisfying indeed and I felt that my input was valid and that I was thrilled to be able to have some control over the experience rather than just be a “model” Pops told me everything I could expect and kept me updated all the way up to when I arrived at the studio.   DURING:   I arrived with two other GS girls, Faye and Monique.(both previous stylemequirky clients) http://stylemequirkygallery.com/ Monique had booked a paid appointment to coincide with mine and Pops had kindly agreed to pull out all the stops and do both of us concurrently. Faye was there to make tea and lend support (although as I recall she got a free nail painting session from moi!). We were greeted by Pops and Kelly, and within minutes were all chattin away like old pals. Kelly was going to do my make up and Pops was doing Moniques. And so since time was of the essence (us GS girls were going clubbing!) the work began!   From the moment the first lid is lifted from a pot, the first brush is picked up, EVERYTHING was explained in detail..why we use this what works better..techniques are divulged..Pops has various make –up blogs which I’d highly recommend for everyone.if you like what your getting you can purchase online! http://stylemequirky.com/makeup-shop/ As Kelly applied my foundation she demonstrated a sure knowledge of her art. I was extremely happy that I was in good hands! Meanwhile Monique was sitting next to me..the first hint of the smile that I would see a lot of on our nights out appearing.   I risk repetition if I go on..but each little stage..each subtle building of the look was explained thoroughly to us..our opinion was sought as we went along..what techniques we use ourselves etc and much discussion took place about what works and what doesn’t. I took the opportunity to ask about mascaras, foundations, make up removers and much much more!   I used the word subtle back there, and I guess that it’s a pretty important word regarding make up..we all have ways to do it..my own look which I perfected I called “the drunken hooker”..i have big eyes and used to bang on the mascara and eyeliner at a frightening volume!..and here was Kelly, deftly defining my eyes and softly applying mascara to bring out my lashes. And it worked! My eyes were not framed in a circle of black..but beautifully defined..my one regret is that I had had one wine too many on the way to the studio and my big eyes were rather bloodshot..but that’s my fault, not anyone elses!   And so we are in the latter stages of make up..when from along the corridor comes a palpable buzz of energy..Cathy the Stylemequirky “head of enthusiasm” has arrived!   Now ive seen enthusiasm before and ive seen false enthusiasm..but not Cathy! You could power the national grid off this girl for a week I swear! From the moment she breezed in everyone had the biggest grins on their faces. (imagine a soft northern Irish accent shouting I LOVE IT! Accompanied by a delighted squeal and you almost get the picture). She positively oozed positivity which was very infectious! Now don’t get me wrong, All the team are very enthusiastic but I’ve never met anyone who could hold a candle to Cathy lol.   To put things back in perspective for a moment, the enthusiasm is (like all the team) tempered with a dedication to complete professionalism. Although we were all having a good laugh..i would be chattin away to Cathy and suddenly Kelly would appear and move a stray hair back into place..or touch up a blemish which appeared under different lighting.I’d be posing in front of the camera when Cathy would be right beside me adjusting the skirt or pulling at the belt. At all times, one of the team would be looking after you, this goes waaaay beyond pampering and into the realms of deeply caring about how you are doing. Pops was behind the camera and again his attention to detail was amazing.in posing,the difference you can get from moving one foot 3 inches forward is astounding. Pops knows his stuff.. he gets you to pose without knowing you are posing (though I am a self confessed poseur) and manages to get the best results from his models through fantastic direction. Now heres the thing..if we had let them..the team would have worked on and on and on till they got the results we all wanted..we had arrived at around 3:30 and when i asked someone the time they told me it was after 11:00 at night..and Pops was still clicking away..i had been scheduled for three separate looks and had done two...but i decided to call a halt considering we had to go clubbing back in Milton Keynes..thats an important point to remember..it was my decision to stop!   AFTER: I mentioned something similar in a previous blog but just in case you missed it, i think its a fundamental truth of my first time out.. i flew down from Edinburgh to go with the girls on a weekend out, beginning with my StylemeQuirky makeover.. and heres the thing..i was incredibly shy, nervous and kinda self hating before i arrived at the studio (id never been out the house). I walked in with my head down as a man and i walked out choc full of confidence as a woman..alll thanks to the stylemeQuirky team..and im not just talking about make-up..im talking about poise..confidence head up loving yourself feelin that they instilled in me...it completely set me up for the weekend! For that alone i will be eternally grateful. We all jumped in a cab and headed back to pops’ place for a small aperitif before heading back.we were all talking about the session and lovin it! We were talkin about the whole concept and pricing versus time spent while pops was out of the room (sorry pops) and Cathy came out with a truth. She told us how Pops lives and breathes this...and by far the most important thing which sets him aside..he  genuinely CARES about his clients. I didn’t have to be told that at all..i saw it in his mannerisms..his attention to every single detail, the way he would have gladly worked into the wee small hours to get my third outfit shots..even though i wasn’t paying a penny. These things meant a lot to me..and if your comparing dressing services, i think the things in just mentioned should be taken into consideration. As i said, i don’t do Advertising, and this aint one..its just a plain report of the truth. I thought i was going for a makeover and i ended up in an all encompassing experience which enriched my life. To Pops Kelly Cathy, i genuinely thank you for all the care and attention you gave. You went above and beyond in my humble opinion xxxxx
    Mar 02, 2012 1748
  • 01 Mar 2012
    FRIDAY (CONTINUED) We made our way to the bar, Monique, Faye and I, and being the only Scottish one there, I was forced to buy a drink. I nearly fainted when the price for 3 drinks came to £20.60. we were all staring at each other thinking what a short night it was going to be at these prices when the girl behind the bar came over and apologised saying she’d overcharged by £10.00… phew! Pink punters was an amazing place..designated smoking areas for those of us who have the nasty habit, dancefloors buzzing with people and quieter areas for chattin. And most importantly..incredibly well staffed with security! That made me feel very safe indeed! They were everywhere and theres a security control room that wouldn’t look out of place in the Pentagon. We headed upstairs to the quiet area and sat down to take it all in. remember id never ever been outside “en femme” before and here I was sitting in a nightclub dressed to the nines fully made up and lookin glam! The feeling was brilliant, so relaxed and yet so exciting at the same time if that makes sense. After ages talking we headed downstairs to check out the rest of the club and ended up in a dance area..it was pretty quiet at this time so it was safe for Faye and Mon to “throw some shapes”.. as for myself I cant dance but managed to sway from side to side a little, in my perfect impersonation of a slightly tipsy Scottish woman.   We had been warned about “predatory Admirers” you know..the kind of guy who goes for T girls. Im glad (and a little offended lol) to say that no one bothered us..except for a fast moving midget whose chat up line was “how do I get out of here?” followed by a sharp pull on Fayes arm. It was nearing dawn by the time we decided to leave and..guess what..they serve food! I was starving, so bought a chicken burger and chips to take back to the hotel. We walked back still on a high and said our goodnights before retiring and getting prepared for Saturday.   SATURDAY   I awake with that feeling you sometimes get..”where the hell am I and why do I have a chicken burger on my pillow?” yeah you all bin there. Saturday morning and im not as hungover as I should have been, in fact im feeling fine! Must have been running on adrenaline for the whole of Friday, but now im almost chilled. I shower and don’t have the courage to get dressed femme..so I put on a teeshirt and jeans and nip outside for a ciggie. The weather is gorgeous..i haven’t seen the sun since 2011 (august the 14th   between the hours of 3 and 3:20 pm) and its so warm! I head back to my room and have another snooze (this time without the chicken burger for company). When I awake a short time later, I decide not to be chicken, and put on my make up and a rather summery dress (told you it was warm) and a cardigan.The girls are up and we arrange to meet and go to the hotel lounge for coffee/tea.  After all my courage in putting on a dress..im delighted to see Faye and Mon are wearing jeans…thanks girls! (they were lookin glam as well though).   We head down to the lounge and no one looks twice..i love this place! There are another few T girls milling around and for once..im not the tallest! We sit and chat..have a really good laugh and I order a wine. Jaquie is due to arrive around noon and texts Monique to say she is lost (shes drivin fronYorkshire). After about half an hour she texts to say shes arrived and we all bundle out into the carpark to meet her. Shes blonde and glamorous and exactly like the person id met in the GS chatroom only a few months earlier. The one thing about Jaquie is that she goes around with a permanent smile on her face all the time and its very contagious! We get her booked in and head back to the lounge for a catch up and more laughs. I let it be known that I forgot to bring eyelashes and before I can argue..its been decided that we all go on a shopping trip to Boots which is in a retail park just up the road. To be honest it then becomes a bit of a blur for me..i have no time to think about it..one minute we are in the hotel, the next we are all walking into a busy shop on a Saturday afternoon..and im fully dressed! Jaquie goes wandering off looking at everything, I don’t recall where faye went but Monique and I choose some lashes and head for the checkout. Im beginning to feel nervous for the first time since id left home..safe environments are one thing but this is real..what if someone points and laughs? But they don’t..the girl at the checkout is determined to tell me about vouchers,,clubcards and every offer from now till Christmas..all I can do is nod smile and try to be natural. I pay and head towards the door and then it hits me..im standing alone..Mon and Faye have went away to look at make-up, Jaquie is elsewhere..im all by myself in a busy shop with lots of people around..and I freeze. Without the support of my friends around me I panic and feel incredibly vulnerable, I want to run back to the car but my legs wont move. I hang on to one arm with the other and just stand there petrified.. Faye spots me from across the shop and takes in the situation at a glance, she hurries over and gently leads me out while the others follow.. my ordeal is over..i try to have a laugh about it but im still shaking.   Back to the hotel and the French waiter asks if madam would like a refill, im staring into space before I realise he is talking to Me! I relax immediately knowing im back in a friendly place with my support group (lol). But ive learned a lesson. In the shop no one laughed or pointed..there was no abuse..im sure I saw a couple of people hurry out of the way but definitely no confrontation..if anything, my body language as I stood at the door would have been cause for a second look.   Vikki is due to arrive around 5 o clock, she phones me and we get all excited because she is such a laugh on the GS site and i cant wait to meet her. She doesn’t disappoint, within 15 seconds of her arriving, im laughing so much, she is vibrant relaxed (this was her first time too! I couldn’t believe it) and ready to have fun. We get her checked in..and after another wine , we order some food before its time to get ready for the club. I have a burger that sits in my stomach like a lead weight but it tasted ok.     We arrange to meet back downstairs at a time I cannot recall (I’m fading at this point) and I lay on my bed to have forty winks.. I sink into a deep deep sleep and awake with a start not knowing what time it is.. I need to have a shower, cleanse my face properly and start again.. already im hurrying.. into the shower..take off the nail varnish..cleanse…moisturise..clean teeth..foundation…suddenly the foundation doesn’t look as good as it did..is it because im hurrying? I cleanse it and have another shave (though I don’t need one) just to be sure. I start again..thats better..eyeliner is ok.. normally I hide my eyebrows using a certain technique and “draw” others in..but tonight it doesn’t work..my eyebrows refuse to disappear..im shaking with nerves..lipstick is fine..a little blusher..earrings are fine…but thise eyebrows!! Grrrr I hate the way I look right now. Theres a knock at the door. Its faye wondering if everything is ok..she sees my distress and tries to calm me down, but im sooo angry with the way this is going (not at her) she decides to withdraw gracefully telling me to meet her downstairs. I look in the mirror and decide to start again..geeez! Now I will never try to hurry my wife up when shes getting ready to go out!  This time I decide to leave the eyebrows alone (though im not happy at all about it) its not my look but what choice do I have?  I had bought beautiful nails and when I try them on..they don’t stick..my hands are shaking, im pretty upset..i leave them in the box and put on nail polish instead. Faye comes knocking again,, all the girls have been in the bar for ages wonderin where I was. Im as ready as ill ever be and we go downstairs together…. Faye is being so complimentary but I don’t hear the compliments..i see my eyebrows in every reflection and hate them, and now my burger is making noises in my stomach and I feel ill.   We head over to the club and its heaving!! The queue is a mile long..im very quiet..looking at all thses people I have lost my confidence again..ive hit the wall as far as energy levels go and when I go to the cashpoint it tells me I have insufficient funds. Deep breath! I try again at the cashpoint..this time im successful. I must have hit a wrong button the first time. The girls have reached the front of the queue and wave me in with them..so we head upstairs and get a drink…a girl approaches and everyones talking to her ..not me..i still feel ill… faye asks her to take a group picture and she obliges…looking back at that picture now, I look like a right miserable cow! (all because of my eyebrows lol). We head upstairs and by now the girls are worried about me…Debs hasn’t shut her mouth since she got off the plane but now…shes very quiet. I ask for a bottle of water and sip it slowly. I feel terrible. Looking around the table though im incredibly happy also. Jaquie, Vikki, Monique and Faye look absolutely fantastic and sooo excited! I cant help but smile..Jaquie is smiling as always..Vikki is buzzing with energy.Monique is smiling and asking about me and Faye..well Faye is being Faye..shes concerned about me too. Im determined not to spoil a minute of these girls time so I tell them ill be fine and hope its true..at this point I feel awful for feeling awful! But the gods have taken pity on me and after my bottle of water I begin to feel better..i begin to chat more..the stomach pains go away and im back! We drink, go outside for smokes, watch people, chat more..Monique and I have the most deep conversations about our lives  very touching for both of us..i tell her that ive watched her blossom in the course of the weekend..she has come out of herself and is one amazing girl. I hug Vikki and cannot help but push her hair out of her eyes everytime I sit next to her (she keeps flicking it over her face!) I remember that I forgot my perfume when I left the hotel and vikki offers me some..its called “BobbiBrown-Beach” I rub some on my wrists just as faye returns from the bar and says “whats that smell? Its like Cillit Bang, Cif or Jif! (all detergents). Yeah it smells very lemony..we immediately rename it Bobbi Brown Bleach! Girls..if your ever worried about the unwanted advances of admirers…just dab a spot of this on, no one came near me all night! (thankfully).   A young beautiful girl who is the drunkest person ive ever seen attaches herself to Jaquie and is talking utter nonsense. When we return from a smoke..she looks at me and im expecting some “you’re a bloke” comment when she leans over and says loudly  “APOSTROPHE”  wtf??  What does that mean?...her next word to me is “RETROSPECTIVELY”…again im nonplussed…Vikki is rolling around laughing but neither of us has a clue what shes on about.. her friend comes and drags her away and we think shes goin home…but hours later when we are leaving we spot her still going strong…ahh to have the staying power of youth!!   On Friday night I wore my black heeled sandals (3 inch) but tonight I have on the killer heels (5 inch)  my feet are aching so I take them off for a minute…bliss!  Only drawback is..ill have to put them on again. I give it half an hour before I do so and its not so bad..the copious amounts of vodka are helping numb the pain. We decide to head downstairs for a boogie but the place is so crammed we give up before faye has even had a chance to spin on her back. We head back to the upstairs bar and I get my first experience of an”admirer” I called him beer belly billy and hes just standing staring at me..i look away and ignore him. He gets the message and wobbles off in search of easier game.(shoulda given him fayes number). We are all sitting chillin when “admirer” number two arrives and plonks himself at the next table..this guy could be an advert for a serial killer and his glassy stare as he looks slowly around our table is very disconcerting..he asks us to watch his drink while he goes to the loo…he returns picks up the drink and sits next to our table on a stool…silent and creepy! We all ignore him and we experience what Genetic Girls go through on occasion..to be stared at like a piece of meat..being sized up, and having unwanted attention..if I was in Boy mode, id have told him to get lost, but im not..and I don’t have the confidence for confrontation. Like beer belly Billy, he gets the message and slopes off.   The night is drawing to a close and we head downstairs to my favourite burger bar (not another chicken burger debs! What happened to the last one?)  Monique stands in the queue waiting while I stand further down getting a drink. The young barman is all..”what’ll it be babes?” And im laughing cos im still not used to it..as its getting quieter, we start talking..hes very polite and tells me that he saw me in the previous night. Hes gay and had only just started dressing a few weeks previously..i ask him why? He says he frequents this club on his nights off and didn’t want to be recognised all the time so he had a go at dressing cos it seemed like a laugh..im looking at him thinking…nahh mate sometimes it aint a laugh..sometimes its marriage and relationship destroying, family splitting violence inducing madness.. but I say nothing. He shows me a picture on his phone of his first attempt and I almost drop the phone. The picture is of a beautiful young woman who reminds me of Tia Carerra (google her). Absolutely drop dead gorgeous, and this is his first attempt?  I resist the urge to throw his phone into the fire and instead show the pic to the other girls..we are all complimenting him and hes kinda lovin it (who could blame him lol). Meanwhile Monique is in deep conversation with a straight guy who doesn’t go for T girls but loves the club for the same reasons we have come to love it..acceptance and no (or very little) trouble. We finish our drinks and head out. Im the one determined to make it all the way back in heels and I succeed! (go me!) that’s been….around 17 hours in heels and ive made it without fallin on my arse once!   We are all painfully aware that this is the end of the adventure..there are tears in the corridor as we say goodnight and I decide to start packing straight away..this time the chicken burger gets eaten. The next morning im back in Drab..im in the carpark talking to my wife on the phone, telling her all about the weekend when blonde jaquie exits the hotel..im waving frantically but she gives me a funny look and walks on…then she does a double take and comes back..i realise shes never seen me in Boy mode before and must have thought I was some creepy guy! We all congregate in the carpark in boy mode (except jacquie who is drivin home glam style). We tell each other how we enjoyed it..there are no false niceties here..genuine friendships have been forged and I can honestly say that I loved the experience it was truly magical!  It may be that due to circumstances I never get the opportunity to repeat it but at least I can look back on those days and smile knowing that Debbie was loved by good friends and……………. I had a Blast xxx
    1895 Posted by Debbie Davies
  • FRIDAY (CONTINUED) We made our way to the bar, Monique, Faye and I, and being the only Scottish one there, I was forced to buy a drink. I nearly fainted when the price for 3 drinks came to £20.60. we were all staring at each other thinking what a short night it was going to be at these prices when the girl behind the bar came over and apologised saying she’d overcharged by £10.00… phew! Pink punters was an amazing place..designated smoking areas for those of us who have the nasty habit, dancefloors buzzing with people and quieter areas for chattin. And most importantly..incredibly well staffed with security! That made me feel very safe indeed! They were everywhere and theres a security control room that wouldn’t look out of place in the Pentagon. We headed upstairs to the quiet area and sat down to take it all in. remember id never ever been outside “en femme” before and here I was sitting in a nightclub dressed to the nines fully made up and lookin glam! The feeling was brilliant, so relaxed and yet so exciting at the same time if that makes sense. After ages talking we headed downstairs to check out the rest of the club and ended up in a dance area..it was pretty quiet at this time so it was safe for Faye and Mon to “throw some shapes”.. as for myself I cant dance but managed to sway from side to side a little, in my perfect impersonation of a slightly tipsy Scottish woman.   We had been warned about “predatory Admirers” you know..the kind of guy who goes for T girls. Im glad (and a little offended lol) to say that no one bothered us..except for a fast moving midget whose chat up line was “how do I get out of here?” followed by a sharp pull on Fayes arm. It was nearing dawn by the time we decided to leave and..guess what..they serve food! I was starving, so bought a chicken burger and chips to take back to the hotel. We walked back still on a high and said our goodnights before retiring and getting prepared for Saturday.   SATURDAY   I awake with that feeling you sometimes get..”where the hell am I and why do I have a chicken burger on my pillow?” yeah you all bin there. Saturday morning and im not as hungover as I should have been, in fact im feeling fine! Must have been running on adrenaline for the whole of Friday, but now im almost chilled. I shower and don’t have the courage to get dressed femme..so I put on a teeshirt and jeans and nip outside for a ciggie. The weather is gorgeous..i haven’t seen the sun since 2011 (august the 14th   between the hours of 3 and 3:20 pm) and its so warm! I head back to my room and have another snooze (this time without the chicken burger for company). When I awake a short time later, I decide not to be chicken, and put on my make up and a rather summery dress (told you it was warm) and a cardigan.The girls are up and we arrange to meet and go to the hotel lounge for coffee/tea.  After all my courage in putting on a dress..im delighted to see Faye and Mon are wearing jeans…thanks girls! (they were lookin glam as well though).   We head down to the lounge and no one looks twice..i love this place! There are another few T girls milling around and for once..im not the tallest! We sit and chat..have a really good laugh and I order a wine. Jaquie is due to arrive around noon and texts Monique to say she is lost (shes drivin fronYorkshire). After about half an hour she texts to say shes arrived and we all bundle out into the carpark to meet her. Shes blonde and glamorous and exactly like the person id met in the GS chatroom only a few months earlier. The one thing about Jaquie is that she goes around with a permanent smile on her face all the time and its very contagious! We get her booked in and head back to the lounge for a catch up and more laughs. I let it be known that I forgot to bring eyelashes and before I can argue..its been decided that we all go on a shopping trip to Boots which is in a retail park just up the road. To be honest it then becomes a bit of a blur for me..i have no time to think about it..one minute we are in the hotel, the next we are all walking into a busy shop on a Saturday afternoon..and im fully dressed! Jaquie goes wandering off looking at everything, I don’t recall where faye went but Monique and I choose some lashes and head for the checkout. Im beginning to feel nervous for the first time since id left home..safe environments are one thing but this is real..what if someone points and laughs? But they don’t..the girl at the checkout is determined to tell me about vouchers,,clubcards and every offer from now till Christmas..all I can do is nod smile and try to be natural. I pay and head towards the door and then it hits me..im standing alone..Mon and Faye have went away to look at make-up, Jaquie is elsewhere..im all by myself in a busy shop with lots of people around..and I freeze. Without the support of my friends around me I panic and feel incredibly vulnerable, I want to run back to the car but my legs wont move. I hang on to one arm with the other and just stand there petrified.. Faye spots me from across the shop and takes in the situation at a glance, she hurries over and gently leads me out while the others follow.. my ordeal is over..i try to have a laugh about it but im still shaking.   Back to the hotel and the French waiter asks if madam would like a refill, im staring into space before I realise he is talking to Me! I relax immediately knowing im back in a friendly place with my support group (lol). But ive learned a lesson. In the shop no one laughed or pointed..there was no abuse..im sure I saw a couple of people hurry out of the way but definitely no confrontation..if anything, my body language as I stood at the door would have been cause for a second look.   Vikki is due to arrive around 5 o clock, she phones me and we get all excited because she is such a laugh on the GS site and i cant wait to meet her. She doesn’t disappoint, within 15 seconds of her arriving, im laughing so much, she is vibrant relaxed (this was her first time too! I couldn’t believe it) and ready to have fun. We get her checked in..and after another wine , we order some food before its time to get ready for the club. I have a burger that sits in my stomach like a lead weight but it tasted ok.     We arrange to meet back downstairs at a time I cannot recall (I’m fading at this point) and I lay on my bed to have forty winks.. I sink into a deep deep sleep and awake with a start not knowing what time it is.. I need to have a shower, cleanse my face properly and start again.. already im hurrying.. into the shower..take off the nail varnish..cleanse…moisturise..clean teeth..foundation…suddenly the foundation doesn’t look as good as it did..is it because im hurrying? I cleanse it and have another shave (though I don’t need one) just to be sure. I start again..thats better..eyeliner is ok.. normally I hide my eyebrows using a certain technique and “draw” others in..but tonight it doesn’t work..my eyebrows refuse to disappear..im shaking with nerves..lipstick is fine..a little blusher..earrings are fine…but thise eyebrows!! Grrrr I hate the way I look right now. Theres a knock at the door. Its faye wondering if everything is ok..she sees my distress and tries to calm me down, but im sooo angry with the way this is going (not at her) she decides to withdraw gracefully telling me to meet her downstairs. I look in the mirror and decide to start again..geeez! Now I will never try to hurry my wife up when shes getting ready to go out!  This time I decide to leave the eyebrows alone (though im not happy at all about it) its not my look but what choice do I have?  I had bought beautiful nails and when I try them on..they don’t stick..my hands are shaking, im pretty upset..i leave them in the box and put on nail polish instead. Faye comes knocking again,, all the girls have been in the bar for ages wonderin where I was. Im as ready as ill ever be and we go downstairs together…. Faye is being so complimentary but I don’t hear the compliments..i see my eyebrows in every reflection and hate them, and now my burger is making noises in my stomach and I feel ill.   We head over to the club and its heaving!! The queue is a mile long..im very quiet..looking at all thses people I have lost my confidence again..ive hit the wall as far as energy levels go and when I go to the cashpoint it tells me I have insufficient funds. Deep breath! I try again at the cashpoint..this time im successful. I must have hit a wrong button the first time. The girls have reached the front of the queue and wave me in with them..so we head upstairs and get a drink…a girl approaches and everyones talking to her ..not me..i still feel ill… faye asks her to take a group picture and she obliges…looking back at that picture now, I look like a right miserable cow! (all because of my eyebrows lol). We head upstairs and by now the girls are worried about me…Debs hasn’t shut her mouth since she got off the plane but now…shes very quiet. I ask for a bottle of water and sip it slowly. I feel terrible. Looking around the table though im incredibly happy also. Jaquie, Vikki, Monique and Faye look absolutely fantastic and sooo excited! I cant help but smile..Jaquie is smiling as always..Vikki is buzzing with energy.Monique is smiling and asking about me and Faye..well Faye is being Faye..shes concerned about me too. Im determined not to spoil a minute of these girls time so I tell them ill be fine and hope its true..at this point I feel awful for feeling awful! But the gods have taken pity on me and after my bottle of water I begin to feel better..i begin to chat more..the stomach pains go away and im back! We drink, go outside for smokes, watch people, chat more..Monique and I have the most deep conversations about our lives  very touching for both of us..i tell her that ive watched her blossom in the course of the weekend..she has come out of herself and is one amazing girl. I hug Vikki and cannot help but push her hair out of her eyes everytime I sit next to her (she keeps flicking it over her face!) I remember that I forgot my perfume when I left the hotel and vikki offers me some..its called “BobbiBrown-Beach” I rub some on my wrists just as faye returns from the bar and says “whats that smell? Its like Cillit Bang, Cif or Jif! (all detergents). Yeah it smells very lemony..we immediately rename it Bobbi Brown Bleach! Girls..if your ever worried about the unwanted advances of admirers…just dab a spot of this on, no one came near me all night! (thankfully).   A young beautiful girl who is the drunkest person ive ever seen attaches herself to Jaquie and is talking utter nonsense. When we return from a smoke..she looks at me and im expecting some “you’re a bloke” comment when she leans over and says loudly  “APOSTROPHE”  wtf??  What does that mean?...her next word to me is “RETROSPECTIVELY”…again im nonplussed…Vikki is rolling around laughing but neither of us has a clue what shes on about.. her friend comes and drags her away and we think shes goin home…but hours later when we are leaving we spot her still going strong…ahh to have the staying power of youth!!   On Friday night I wore my black heeled sandals (3 inch) but tonight I have on the killer heels (5 inch)  my feet are aching so I take them off for a minute…bliss!  Only drawback is..ill have to put them on again. I give it half an hour before I do so and its not so bad..the copious amounts of vodka are helping numb the pain. We decide to head downstairs for a boogie but the place is so crammed we give up before faye has even had a chance to spin on her back. We head back to the upstairs bar and I get my first experience of an”admirer” I called him beer belly billy and hes just standing staring at me..i look away and ignore him. He gets the message and wobbles off in search of easier game.(shoulda given him fayes number). We are all sitting chillin when “admirer” number two arrives and plonks himself at the next table..this guy could be an advert for a serial killer and his glassy stare as he looks slowly around our table is very disconcerting..he asks us to watch his drink while he goes to the loo…he returns picks up the drink and sits next to our table on a stool…silent and creepy! We all ignore him and we experience what Genetic Girls go through on occasion..to be stared at like a piece of meat..being sized up, and having unwanted attention..if I was in Boy mode, id have told him to get lost, but im not..and I don’t have the confidence for confrontation. Like beer belly Billy, he gets the message and slopes off.   The night is drawing to a close and we head downstairs to my favourite burger bar (not another chicken burger debs! What happened to the last one?)  Monique stands in the queue waiting while I stand further down getting a drink. The young barman is all..”what’ll it be babes?” And im laughing cos im still not used to it..as its getting quieter, we start talking..hes very polite and tells me that he saw me in the previous night. Hes gay and had only just started dressing a few weeks previously..i ask him why? He says he frequents this club on his nights off and didn’t want to be recognised all the time so he had a go at dressing cos it seemed like a laugh..im looking at him thinking…nahh mate sometimes it aint a laugh..sometimes its marriage and relationship destroying, family splitting violence inducing madness.. but I say nothing. He shows me a picture on his phone of his first attempt and I almost drop the phone. The picture is of a beautiful young woman who reminds me of Tia Carerra (google her). Absolutely drop dead gorgeous, and this is his first attempt?  I resist the urge to throw his phone into the fire and instead show the pic to the other girls..we are all complimenting him and hes kinda lovin it (who could blame him lol). Meanwhile Monique is in deep conversation with a straight guy who doesn’t go for T girls but loves the club for the same reasons we have come to love it..acceptance and no (or very little) trouble. We finish our drinks and head out. Im the one determined to make it all the way back in heels and I succeed! (go me!) that’s been….around 17 hours in heels and ive made it without fallin on my arse once!   We are all painfully aware that this is the end of the adventure..there are tears in the corridor as we say goodnight and I decide to start packing straight away..this time the chicken burger gets eaten. The next morning im back in Drab..im in the carpark talking to my wife on the phone, telling her all about the weekend when blonde jaquie exits the hotel..im waving frantically but she gives me a funny look and walks on…then she does a double take and comes back..i realise shes never seen me in Boy mode before and must have thought I was some creepy guy! We all congregate in the carpark in boy mode (except jacquie who is drivin home glam style). We tell each other how we enjoyed it..there are no false niceties here..genuine friendships have been forged and I can honestly say that I loved the experience it was truly magical!  It may be that due to circumstances I never get the opportunity to repeat it but at least I can look back on those days and smile knowing that Debbie was loved by good friends and……………. I had a Blast xxx
    Mar 01, 2012 1895
  • 27 Feb 2012
    Its monday morning, im off work today, im cleaning the house and doing laundry.when i pick up an item out of the hamper, my eyes fill up. this isnt the gypsy skirt that has lain in the wardrobe out of sight for so long..its the skirt i wore walking in london surrounded by my friends, with me feeling on top of the world. this Dress was the one i wore buying eyelashes in the pharmacy in a large shopping precinct. and this dress was the one i wore when we went out clubbing. no longer do these clothes feel "secret" or "wrong" but now they remind me of the most beautiful enjoyable time ive ever had as Debbie.   It all started when i joined the GS site, like so many others i had come looking for support, answers,and the rest. my head was a mess, my wife was frantic and i felt like i was staring into the abyss. i joined the chatroom and lay in the shadows for a few sessions, reading, listening and gradually being drawn into conversations. Carol Steel was the first to metaphorically hold my hand and we had many talks about my issues. as the weeks passed, my conversations with my wife grew less "weird" as we both tried to come to terms with the whole situation. She wanted to know everything i felt, why i did it, how i wanted to go forward..even at this early stage i had told her that i wanted to go out (but not local) and meet other girls like me. Im glad to say that she didnt dismiss the notion.   i met Faye in the chatroom and right away, we hit it off. we had the same sense of humour, we had similar problems, and i knew i had found a real friend. being in the chatroom everynight was such a laugh and a real help to me. the idea of a night out was mooted and after a while we decided to set a date for Feb 24th. Faye set up a forum topic to invite any GS members who fancied it. swoon afterwards met Jaquie and Monique,two other chatroom regulars who soon became great friends, and was delighted when they said they would be coming with us.! as the date approched Vikki K who is a sheer delight with a fantastic sense of humour made up the last part of the group, the famous five (or as Vikki said..the worst spice girls tribute act ever lol ).   I noticed a competition to win a makeover and photoshoot on the GS site and had the great fortune to win! after speaking to pops at stylemequirky,http://stylemequirky.com/transgender-dressing-service/ he kindly agreed to do me on the friday i was arriving. (more about stylemequirky later and in a new blog!)   the venue we decided on was a trans friendly club in Milton keynes called pink Punters http://www.pinkpunters.com/ and the Campanile hotel which is literally across the road from pink punters. both were what i'd call "safe environments" and perfect for any girls first time out.   as the time grew nearer, i grew more nervous i was physically sick on the morning of departure, thoughts of what could go wrong bouncing around my head. my wife dropped me off at the airport and told me to have fun, and not drink too much that i wouldnt remember anything (which is what happened the firat time i showed her debbie lol). i checked my bag in and headed to the departure lounge, skidding to a halt as i passed the jewelery store, and immediately buying a pair of crystal stud earrings (i recently had my ears pierced). i was incredibly nervous still and kinda drifted towards the bar..where i had a little vodka for breakfast (!) and proceeded to get in tow with a group of girls heading south for a hen night. we had a good laugh and were very merry by the time we got on the plane. i had a seat to myself (yay) and it was only a short flight 55 minutes so everything was great. i thought id put on my earrings on the plane (first time without a mirror handy) and kinda made blood appear on my left ear (stewardesss can i have a napkin?), but eventually got them in.   Touchdown in Luton, and i am met by faye who gets the first of many Hugs! we chat and drive to Milton Keynes catching up on all the gossip and arrive in the carpark of the hotel where the delicious Monique is waiting. She gets the big hug i promised her and we all checkn in to the hotel. Monique has booked a makeover/shoot at Stylemequirky also and kindly drives us down to london to meet the team.   im not going to describe the makeover session here, in fact it needs a whole blog of its own!(and im going to write one) but suffice to say, the StylemeQuirky team are simply amazing professional, kind, funny, beautiful. i walked in with my head down feeling very self conscious..and i walked out with my head held high, full of confidence (remember this was my first time out of the house!) feeling like a beautiful woman. my experience at Stylemequirky set me up for the whole weekend and i cannot sing their praises enough (thank you!!!!!xxx)   we got back to the hotel en femme (wow!) and even though it was around 2:30 in the morning, i was persuaded to get changed and go to the club ...ok ok..it was MY idea to do that because i didnt want to miss a single minute of bein a girl. and i knew it was the right decision when i saw Faye and Monique all glammed up! the feeling of stepping out in the sexy dress id bought was breathtaking..all the things you hear about, the click of the heels on the pavement, the waft of perfume, the breeze on your legs and the way your dress moves..the walk to the club was tooo short! lol. i moved with confidence thanks to my makeover and faye told me later she had to keep reminding herself that this was my first time out because i was so feminine (thank you hunni x). we arrived at the club and were met by the doormen..;"good evening ladies!"  WOW! my heart raced and i had the biggest smile on my face!!     to be continued!!    
    1896 Posted by Debbie Davies
  • Its monday morning, im off work today, im cleaning the house and doing laundry.when i pick up an item out of the hamper, my eyes fill up. this isnt the gypsy skirt that has lain in the wardrobe out of sight for so long..its the skirt i wore walking in london surrounded by my friends, with me feeling on top of the world. this Dress was the one i wore buying eyelashes in the pharmacy in a large shopping precinct. and this dress was the one i wore when we went out clubbing. no longer do these clothes feel "secret" or "wrong" but now they remind me of the most beautiful enjoyable time ive ever had as Debbie.   It all started when i joined the GS site, like so many others i had come looking for support, answers,and the rest. my head was a mess, my wife was frantic and i felt like i was staring into the abyss. i joined the chatroom and lay in the shadows for a few sessions, reading, listening and gradually being drawn into conversations. Carol Steel was the first to metaphorically hold my hand and we had many talks about my issues. as the weeks passed, my conversations with my wife grew less "weird" as we both tried to come to terms with the whole situation. She wanted to know everything i felt, why i did it, how i wanted to go forward..even at this early stage i had told her that i wanted to go out (but not local) and meet other girls like me. Im glad to say that she didnt dismiss the notion.   i met Faye in the chatroom and right away, we hit it off. we had the same sense of humour, we had similar problems, and i knew i had found a real friend. being in the chatroom everynight was such a laugh and a real help to me. the idea of a night out was mooted and after a while we decided to set a date for Feb 24th. Faye set up a forum topic to invite any GS members who fancied it. swoon afterwards met Jaquie and Monique,two other chatroom regulars who soon became great friends, and was delighted when they said they would be coming with us.! as the date approched Vikki K who is a sheer delight with a fantastic sense of humour made up the last part of the group, the famous five (or as Vikki said..the worst spice girls tribute act ever lol ).   I noticed a competition to win a makeover and photoshoot on the GS site and had the great fortune to win! after speaking to pops at stylemequirky,http://stylemequirky.com/transgender-dressing-service/ he kindly agreed to do me on the friday i was arriving. (more about stylemequirky later and in a new blog!)   the venue we decided on was a trans friendly club in Milton keynes called pink Punters http://www.pinkpunters.com/ and the Campanile hotel which is literally across the road from pink punters. both were what i'd call "safe environments" and perfect for any girls first time out.   as the time grew nearer, i grew more nervous i was physically sick on the morning of departure, thoughts of what could go wrong bouncing around my head. my wife dropped me off at the airport and told me to have fun, and not drink too much that i wouldnt remember anything (which is what happened the firat time i showed her debbie lol). i checked my bag in and headed to the departure lounge, skidding to a halt as i passed the jewelery store, and immediately buying a pair of crystal stud earrings (i recently had my ears pierced). i was incredibly nervous still and kinda drifted towards the bar..where i had a little vodka for breakfast (!) and proceeded to get in tow with a group of girls heading south for a hen night. we had a good laugh and were very merry by the time we got on the plane. i had a seat to myself (yay) and it was only a short flight 55 minutes so everything was great. i thought id put on my earrings on the plane (first time without a mirror handy) and kinda made blood appear on my left ear (stewardesss can i have a napkin?), but eventually got them in.   Touchdown in Luton, and i am met by faye who gets the first of many Hugs! we chat and drive to Milton Keynes catching up on all the gossip and arrive in the carpark of the hotel where the delicious Monique is waiting. She gets the big hug i promised her and we all checkn in to the hotel. Monique has booked a makeover/shoot at Stylemequirky also and kindly drives us down to london to meet the team.   im not going to describe the makeover session here, in fact it needs a whole blog of its own!(and im going to write one) but suffice to say, the StylemeQuirky team are simply amazing professional, kind, funny, beautiful. i walked in with my head down feeling very self conscious..and i walked out with my head held high, full of confidence (remember this was my first time out of the house!) feeling like a beautiful woman. my experience at Stylemequirky set me up for the whole weekend and i cannot sing their praises enough (thank you!!!!!xxx)   we got back to the hotel en femme (wow!) and even though it was around 2:30 in the morning, i was persuaded to get changed and go to the club ...ok ok..it was MY idea to do that because i didnt want to miss a single minute of bein a girl. and i knew it was the right decision when i saw Faye and Monique all glammed up! the feeling of stepping out in the sexy dress id bought was breathtaking..all the things you hear about, the click of the heels on the pavement, the waft of perfume, the breeze on your legs and the way your dress moves..the walk to the club was tooo short! lol. i moved with confidence thanks to my makeover and faye told me later she had to keep reminding herself that this was my first time out because i was so feminine (thank you hunni x). we arrived at the club and were met by the doormen..;"good evening ladies!"  WOW! my heart raced and i had the biggest smile on my face!!     to be continued!!    
    Feb 27, 2012 1896