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Ok, Ok being over the hill can be a downer. I do my best to be upbeat. I learned to psych myself many years ago - I think I was in the 9th grade at the time. Had a good teacher, luckily.....made a great impression on me.
I had a very nice reception for my paintings. We had a reasonable good turnout - mostly relatives and some friends. They liked my work - secret, we fed them cheese, crackers and champaign, unfortunately they haven't won the lottery so no buyers. The paintings will hang for the month - maybe some wealthy patron of the arts will wonder by and buy. Hope springs eternal.
Talking of springs - I spang my left shoulder lifting a loaded ice chest. Gotta remember I'm not a kid anymore. Dug out the Bengay and the heating pad - it'll mend. Being left handed and not being able to use my left arm (hands are for typing)is rough.
Something came up last week that I've been turning over in my mind ever since. I was reading the forums. This one thread was about personal stuff. I've always consider myself to be very open minded. I started to respond and in the middle of it I became very self conscious and decided to delete my response. I can't even remember what the thread was about but I suddenly didn't want to disclose my inner feelings. That's the first time I've done that and I've been trying to figure out why it happened.
Some of the threads about "when did you start to dress femme?" or "are you more femme than drab?" I usually don't respond because I don't remember when I started to dress. Evidently, it may not have been a turn on or a fetish or I would have remember it as such. When I dress now I don't get turned on - it makes me happy. My female side is strong and has alway been, to my knowledge.
I've never been "macho." I've been told that many times. Never played football or any other sport. I, laughingly, played softball - I think I dropped more catches. I did run track for a while - 'til I started to smoke. L:uckily, I quit smoking. I guess I've lead an uneventful life - no drugs, no complicated love life, just stayed "under the radar" so to speak. Maybe that was my problem - I did what was expected of me. Whoopee. I say but I did have some fun.
My, my this has been going on and on. Should I delete? Nah
