The Galaxy Girl's New Frontier

• Posted by Briana Purcell May 29, 2018 Filed in Society Girl's Personal Blogs #telling other people  1,236 views
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  Hello Ladies - This is the most monumental post I have ever had! I came out in a big way - I posted the following post on my facebook, which has been under my birth name as it had to for many complicated reasons ( and probably won't be for much longer I suspect ). 

  Nevertheless, here it is :

  I’ll begin with Hello. This is a conversation I have reflected on for the past 5 years. It is about a secret I have held for more than 40 years prior to that time – even longer than I have known all of you and even before I lived here where we went to school together. 
  I suspect many of us have a side to ourselves that is relatively secret, private, et al. I am fortunate in one respect I have only one thing in my ‘closet’ per se ( which I have called the bubble for more years than I can count ).
  Somewhere between the ages of 7 and 10 I made a private vow over this secret, the rule, as I called it – ‘never speak of this, never write of this, ever’. It held fast for nearly 40 years.
  On that day, when I came out, it was like any other but many of the external pressures were non-existent in my life – I only had me to look at in the mirror for the first time. 
  I will reintroduce myself so as to avoid any more inquisitive looks or boredom – honestly I do drag on a bit.
  Hello, may name is Briana Purcell. I am a transgender woman. I have seen myself as a girl since the age of 5. It is something I denied, lied, and ran from for decades. It was easy actually. In life we have only two critical questions to contemplate and act on : 1) Who am I? and 2) What do I do? 
  I chose to mostly focus on question 2 for the bulk of my life. All of you in thinking on me might think of these things : She is a bike rider, academic, science geek, diabetic, writer, et al – all things I do – but I would avoid the question of how I see myself, the who am I part of it. 
  I thought very long on this moment – do I say something or do as I have always imagined – one day move away to somewhere where I walk in my door as me and just measure time from that moment on? By pure chance I find myself at this moment – where I have a handful of facebook friends and even after I came out to one among you in an emotional search I see I have a choice to make. Let things go as they are, ie pretend, or allow you to see and know me, decide for yourself am I a friend you wish to have, and move on in time from there. Interestingly facebook has presented me with one of the considerations I have had – say for example there is a class reunion – in the last 20 years I have had no interest in showing up due mostly to this battle and now that I am just me, I thought about it – but have terrible fear. 
  Independent of all things I realized I will always be me, Briana, regardless of who I meet, know, the things I do, and the places I go. Never in my life have I felt as balanced, whole, fully happy, and empowered. Some of the first words I spoke when I broke the rule standing in from of the mirror 5 years ago in a summer dress were these : ‘so this is how it is, this is who I am, … it’s okay…I’m okay’. In a single bat of an eye a wave of energy passed through my body and I felt electric and alive and elevated. It felt as if a large cement weight lifted off of me. If someone were to describe such things to me in the past, before this, I would just nod and say ‘sure, sure, understand’ when in truth I had never had such a feeling. It was easy trying to be what I do – seeing myself as arrogantly smart and not just being myself – a smart girl who can easily admit I most certainly do not know everything. In fact, believe it or not, when reflecting on my battles through the years with myself – nearly caught wearing this or that and the like, for the first time in my life I could laugh at myself. 
  Things are moving along and quite nice in my part of the universe at present, more or less. I see doctors and the like and so far all is good. I still am looking for work, though there seems some barriers on that front – suggestions are welcomed, I have the books ( which clearly have at least one more editorial revision to make, namely author name ), and I have a deep-seated wish to have a few gal pal friends and so on.
  I could drone on with a million memories, events et al, but maybe I’ll write a tell all book one day ( lol ).
  Recognize I am still on the earliest of steps of this – there are those who have little to no information on this and must be kept that way due to life’s complications – unfortunately theirs and not mine. So I ask some discretion in your ever sharing of this. 
  Thank you for listening ( ie reading ) and spending some time. I am glad to have come back across all of you. 
  Note I may change my name on fb and the like too, this is all quite new to me - so some nervousness. thanks
  Briana : )

  

  

   

   

  Note the inclusion of photos and all. The reaction has been priceless - I have been crying on and off through the day. Hormones can be a bit pushy. I had the oddity of coming across and being asked by a dozen or so high school friends - only one who knows - until now, at least. It was like going to a class reunion. 

  I will add to this as needed.

  Wow, wow, wow.

  All the best to everyone here. 

  Take Care

  hugs, Briana Purcell - the Galaxy Girl!!