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michelle/mitchell self 's Entries

15 blogs
  • 14 Jun 2017
    just wondering if anybody have heard of any voice impaired trans genders. doc told me if i was lucky i migght have some voice left after my cancer surgery of the thyroid, partual voice box and most of my neck and lymphnoids of  my throat be side all of this i lost most of the muscle that contect the right shouilder with my neck muscles. this all added up to a stage 3 cancer . as of right now why voice is hardly audiable to others in normal situations amplication is now being used at home and famlies , but the thing is at work wondering if i should learn ASL  caus e i work in a distirubtion center where  it is loud and noisey even with the amp i know that no one could hear me  if i was in case to get in trouble there at work so far bw side the operation in have gone 8 weeks of exterior radiation bombardment therapy. i hope i dont have to do chemo(fingures crossed) . any wat that is my blog for this season i hope    
    927 Posted by michelle/mitchell self
  • just wondering if anybody have heard of any voice impaired trans genders. doc told me if i was lucky i migght have some voice left after my cancer surgery of the thyroid, partual voice box and most of my neck and lymphnoids of  my throat be side all of this i lost most of the muscle that contect the right shouilder with my neck muscles. this all added up to a stage 3 cancer . as of right now why voice is hardly audiable to others in normal situations amplication is now being used at home and famlies , but the thing is at work wondering if i should learn ASL  caus e i work in a distirubtion center where  it is loud and noisey even with the amp i know that no one could hear me  if i was in case to get in trouble there at work so far bw side the operation in have gone 8 weeks of exterior radiation bombardment therapy. i hope i dont have to do chemo(fingures crossed) . any wat that is my blog for this season i hope    
    Jun 14, 2017 927
  • 24 Apr 2015
    my main reason for being most of the time is to be sociallible (sp) That be cause where i live is 22 plus miles from the next city. there is one other trans gender peron living in my area that i know of. She knows of me for i have met here in Ft worth Texas at a trans gender meeting but has chosen to  not to  be friendly alease to me .   so this page is My main contact with other people that are basicly in a social  group that relate to each other .   yes i do ask question and enquires at time because  Im a  sort of a newbie at this .. i know many here have years  of experiance in volving these issues   well thats it for noow and im off my soap box
    1218 Posted by michelle/mitchell self
  • my main reason for being most of the time is to be sociallible (sp) That be cause where i live is 22 plus miles from the next city. there is one other trans gender peron living in my area that i know of. She knows of me for i have met here in Ft worth Texas at a trans gender meeting but has chosen to  not to  be friendly alease to me .   so this page is My main contact with other people that are basicly in a social  group that relate to each other .   yes i do ask question and enquires at time because  Im a  sort of a newbie at this .. i know many here have years  of experiance in volving these issues   well thats it for noow and im off my soap box
    Apr 24, 2015 1218
  • 09 Feb 2015
     feeling like i let my family down.Here i am being whom i am as a embarrisment to my family.Epecially to my father.this is kind of strange be cause my dad came from a little country town in texas.This man,a son of a plumber of a son of a plumber . was educated in a country school Now who would of thought that this man would graduate at the head of his class.. And was selected valvictorian of his universitys graduation classmy first recall of one of my let downs for him was.when i was elvauated at my elementrty school for having a learning disability.it was evaluated that i was dyslexic  and also had  an attention span problem SO  special edu cation  classes startedYes im a member of the "short Bus" social group ridicule and kidding was a daily thing at school.  Not be selected to play games was the norm(kinda sound s like rUeDOLF  the red nose rein deer) so there came anger mis management in which i took out on myself...by self infliceted body damage  ...   as a child i did have cross dressing issues ,which in creased at the puberty level but was caught by family member.It was treated as one did a bed weter  by hanging the items out the window for those to see So it did go on but really deep into the closet    ..purging and purging went on  be caause i though it was some thing that when i be come a full man i would grow out  offLater on 1980s         on pass the vietnam era  and making me a man issues of the government  ON the request of my mom i tried college ,but i was so far be hind in my reading level. Plus my attenion span was still bad   be cause i was having a time dealing with the lecture sessions of classesNow hands on no problem .like forensic or police sciences . got As and Bsnow in my life has come another dissapoint ment to the family 45 years late in my life(2007)i went to therapy for my cross dressing and  other mental issues. 2015 i am still in therapy.  but now know the  WHY's   of my circumstancesAs of right now the thought of me being transgender was uprisen to fact.but there is a sub facture now we are working on that make my delemia even more complex than be foresome thing called disassociated indenity diorder so now what the family going to think   
    1341 Posted by michelle/mitchell self
  •  feeling like i let my family down.Here i am being whom i am as a embarrisment to my family.Epecially to my father.this is kind of strange be cause my dad came from a little country town in texas.This man,a son of a plumber of a son of a plumber . was educated in a country school Now who would of thought that this man would graduate at the head of his class.. And was selected valvictorian of his universitys graduation classmy first recall of one of my let downs for him was.when i was elvauated at my elementrty school for having a learning disability.it was evaluated that i was dyslexic  and also had  an attention span problem SO  special edu cation  classes startedYes im a member of the "short Bus" social group ridicule and kidding was a daily thing at school.  Not be selected to play games was the norm(kinda sound s like rUeDOLF  the red nose rein deer) so there came anger mis management in which i took out on myself...by self infliceted body damage  ...   as a child i did have cross dressing issues ,which in creased at the puberty level but was caught by family member.It was treated as one did a bed weter  by hanging the items out the window for those to see So it did go on but really deep into the closet    ..purging and purging went on  be caause i though it was some thing that when i be come a full man i would grow out  offLater on 1980s         on pass the vietnam era  and making me a man issues of the government  ON the request of my mom i tried college ,but i was so far be hind in my reading level. Plus my attenion span was still bad   be cause i was having a time dealing with the lecture sessions of classesNow hands on no problem .like forensic or police sciences . got As and Bsnow in my life has come another dissapoint ment to the family 45 years late in my life(2007)i went to therapy for my cross dressing and  other mental issues. 2015 i am still in therapy.  but now know the  WHY's   of my circumstancesAs of right now the thought of me being transgender was uprisen to fact.but there is a sub facture now we are working on that make my delemia even more complex than be foresome thing called disassociated indenity diorder so now what the family going to think   
    Feb 09, 2015 1341
  • 14 Jan 2015
     Heres my opinion:  most of the time here i find it a little difficult to relate to others maybe because this is an international website.And i have a  time with thinking of or following subject matters Due to my lack of knowledge of and  where people live and their customs and word speakThis is beside not really knowing deeply information wise and undering standing the info i recieved or I have read..I think they call this comprehensioN (sp)  .  Funny there has been things written saying that transgender people are highly educated or gifted. Well i guess i missed the boat on that one  for sure   .     
    1198 Posted by michelle/mitchell self
  •  Heres my opinion:  most of the time here i find it a little difficult to relate to others maybe because this is an international website.And i have a  time with thinking of or following subject matters Due to my lack of knowledge of and  where people live and their customs and word speakThis is beside not really knowing deeply information wise and undering standing the info i recieved or I have read..I think they call this comprehensioN (sp)  .  Funny there has been things written saying that transgender people are highly educated or gifted. Well i guess i missed the boat on that one  for sure   .     
    Jan 14, 2015 1198
  • 21 Sep 2014
    oh well It has hit the fan! just found out that my dad has been in rehab for two weeks. No wonder he wasnt returning my calls or e-mails. Seem no one bothered( family or family friends ) to call and let me know. Im sorry but i had to vent   cause i got no one to vent with here     ok thats it for now   
    1172 Posted by michelle/mitchell self
  • oh well It has hit the fan! just found out that my dad has been in rehab for two weeks. No wonder he wasnt returning my calls or e-mails. Seem no one bothered( family or family friends ) to call and let me know. Im sorry but i had to vent   cause i got no one to vent with here     ok thats it for now   
    Sep 21, 2014 1172
  • 17 Sep 2014
    To transistion or not to tranistion that is the question? I bring to my self the thoughts of doing so. would i really benefit from either situation.   So in my life as a career ,i really dont have a base line to work much  off of I do not have much higher education(college). what i do know and some time do well ,is set design and decoration for the motion picture industry. now in this industry gender and sexual orienitation doesn,t really matter. Straights and gays are heavy in this bussiness.   But in Texas ,this career Im known as being a male and how would it effect me career wise if i transitioned  .Would I lose what client base that i did have when work did come around.    On the other hand I am also an actor. on the screen. Now if i transition my  chances for parts in my genre of the motion picture bussiness will be almost  nill ,not many women get lead /co star parts in westerns or films I been offered   Now as friendship/relation ship  wise. most folks know me as Mitchel.l   But the ones that know me also as Michelle . Some say they perfer Mitchell over Michelle. Cause Michelle is very opinonated .(how the cow ate the cabbage) Mitchell is not(dosel) .   Now due to my bi genderness... Its a hardship having to deal with two differant (personalities)on a daily bassis   Some times as one person in body ,  wierd statemants ,ideas come out that is not in line with the gender of the body presented at the moment.. This causes confusion to most people I live around or have friendships with.   I have started dicussing this with my councelors .  But the ones i have that are State apppointed ,and being paid by the state mental health district Because im now un employed and cant get help on my own .Are trying to make me decide on what"binary " side to choose it either be male or female    by paying .m=My old ,me paying councel said i didnt have to . Now..on the sexual orientation side of the spectrum .lt wont  be much of a problem when that bridge come on down further down the road
    1202 Posted by michelle/mitchell self
  • To transistion or not to tranistion that is the question? I bring to my self the thoughts of doing so. would i really benefit from either situation.   So in my life as a career ,i really dont have a base line to work much  off of I do not have much higher education(college). what i do know and some time do well ,is set design and decoration for the motion picture industry. now in this industry gender and sexual orienitation doesn,t really matter. Straights and gays are heavy in this bussiness.   But in Texas ,this career Im known as being a male and how would it effect me career wise if i transitioned  .Would I lose what client base that i did have when work did come around.    On the other hand I am also an actor. on the screen. Now if i transition my  chances for parts in my genre of the motion picture bussiness will be almost  nill ,not many women get lead /co star parts in westerns or films I been offered   Now as friendship/relation ship  wise. most folks know me as Mitchel.l   But the ones that know me also as Michelle . Some say they perfer Mitchell over Michelle. Cause Michelle is very opinonated .(how the cow ate the cabbage) Mitchell is not(dosel) .   Now due to my bi genderness... Its a hardship having to deal with two differant (personalities)on a daily bassis   Some times as one person in body ,  wierd statemants ,ideas come out that is not in line with the gender of the body presented at the moment.. This causes confusion to most people I live around or have friendships with.   I have started dicussing this with my councelors .  But the ones i have that are State apppointed ,and being paid by the state mental health district Because im now un employed and cant get help on my own .Are trying to make me decide on what"binary " side to choose it either be male or female    by paying .m=My old ,me paying councel said i didnt have to . Now..on the sexual orientation side of the spectrum .lt wont  be much of a problem when that bridge come on down further down the road
    Sep 17, 2014 1202
  • 19 Aug 2014
    What I thought of what was going to be a nice visit to my dads . has turned out to be a life decision for me. First of all here some history 1 my father has Parkinson Syndrome. He has had it for a few years ,.He was doing well and has to do some physical therapy. But now the tide has came in... Now he is alone be cause in the year of 2013 my step mother died. Because of his age and his affliction .He has gotten on the topic of senor citizen health care .   Yes the possibilities of home health care. And that he wants me to move in and take care of him. To do this this would me I would have to sell my home (the first true home I ever had) As he stated by saying “well you took care of your Mother and than aunt Iva now it time you take care of me... live here and cook and take care of my needs Yes I know I t could be don   Some of my history I provided home health care for my aunt but a situation happen that I dont want what happen to me when I stayed with my aunts... She eventually went to a nursing home. For I couldn,t take care of the special needs she was needing Me being a biological male and she being a female according to our state home health care rules Not to long shortly she died ,but in her will and estate orders the house was was place on the block. So now from underneath me.the house was sold . There I was no job, no place to go to....   Point ONE   So I had to find a place to live quickly. Lucky I just received the inheritance money from my mom s death . So now I did get my place o f my own and paid some off . And now I get this news from my dad... We have talked and he has mention if he has to go to a nursing home he would have to sell his house .there if I was there and that day came .There again I would be homeless....   Point number Two.   My father does not know that Im transgendered , I haven't explained my situation NOW ...if I move into his place .My inner self (Michelle) would have to be stifled again. Then the 7 years of gender therapy is washed aside . B e side if he knew about my situation this would hurt him badly. For last Sunday Aug 17TH I went to church with him... I was constantly introduced as hello ? This is my son Mitchell. And of course the return salutations were returned .Gee I was feeling bad inside as I thought to my self “ Now dad you also got a daughter you just don't know it...” but dad never wanted any girls with my mom. When they were married..Now my main thoughts are of now! Do I sell out and risk having not a home later to go to after his demise or admittance to a nursing home Do I literally stifle and ignore the Michelle in side me. After waiting 20 plus years to release her bondage .be side the therapy sessions   But if I dont not assist am I being selfish? or do I put my life aside again for others,, So this is a major decision I have to make
    1593 Posted by michelle/mitchell self
  • What I thought of what was going to be a nice visit to my dads . has turned out to be a life decision for me. First of all here some history 1 my father has Parkinson Syndrome. He has had it for a few years ,.He was doing well and has to do some physical therapy. But now the tide has came in... Now he is alone be cause in the year of 2013 my step mother died. Because of his age and his affliction .He has gotten on the topic of senor citizen health care .   Yes the possibilities of home health care. And that he wants me to move in and take care of him. To do this this would me I would have to sell my home (the first true home I ever had) As he stated by saying “well you took care of your Mother and than aunt Iva now it time you take care of me... live here and cook and take care of my needs Yes I know I t could be don   Some of my history I provided home health care for my aunt but a situation happen that I dont want what happen to me when I stayed with my aunts... She eventually went to a nursing home. For I couldn,t take care of the special needs she was needing Me being a biological male and she being a female according to our state home health care rules Not to long shortly she died ,but in her will and estate orders the house was was place on the block. So now from underneath me.the house was sold . There I was no job, no place to go to....   Point ONE   So I had to find a place to live quickly. Lucky I just received the inheritance money from my mom s death . So now I did get my place o f my own and paid some off . And now I get this news from my dad... We have talked and he has mention if he has to go to a nursing home he would have to sell his house .there if I was there and that day came .There again I would be homeless....   Point number Two.   My father does not know that Im transgendered , I haven't explained my situation NOW ...if I move into his place .My inner self (Michelle) would have to be stifled again. Then the 7 years of gender therapy is washed aside . B e side if he knew about my situation this would hurt him badly. For last Sunday Aug 17TH I went to church with him... I was constantly introduced as hello ? This is my son Mitchell. And of course the return salutations were returned .Gee I was feeling bad inside as I thought to my self “ Now dad you also got a daughter you just don't know it...” but dad never wanted any girls with my mom. When they were married..Now my main thoughts are of now! Do I sell out and risk having not a home later to go to after his demise or admittance to a nursing home Do I literally stifle and ignore the Michelle in side me. After waiting 20 plus years to release her bondage .be side the therapy sessions   But if I dont not assist am I being selfish? or do I put my life aside again for others,, So this is a major decision I have to make
    Aug 19, 2014 1593
  • 09 Jan 2014
    Hello , good day to you all First of all thank for all that have had some conversations with me. Either on the forums or on chat. Yes the Gender Society website is very vast and world wide. Never thought I ever correspond with anyone on the other side of the world. Before I joined this site. And by you people' s photographs. I would never know what your country/ies you have visited or reside in would even look at on a first person basis. So thanks.   From some of you people .I have had conversations and the written words have shown, That we basicly we are all trying to have our feet rock solid on the stepping stones as we cross the creeks /rivers of our lives ..So we will not fall and get our bums wet. Being transgendered or not!   To those I have conversed with I know I have gotten some of you agitated by The use of the plural name (Michelle /Mitchell) usage on chat and other places . But that is the best way I know of to express to you . That some time you NOT going to receive at that time just a male or just a female response well thanks for reading   My favorite song quote “ Love is a Rose” By Linda Ronstadt     Michelle /Mitchell Self .
    1465 Posted by michelle/mitchell self
  • Hello , good day to you all First of all thank for all that have had some conversations with me. Either on the forums or on chat. Yes the Gender Society website is very vast and world wide. Never thought I ever correspond with anyone on the other side of the world. Before I joined this site. And by you people' s photographs. I would never know what your country/ies you have visited or reside in would even look at on a first person basis. So thanks.   From some of you people .I have had conversations and the written words have shown, That we basicly we are all trying to have our feet rock solid on the stepping stones as we cross the creeks /rivers of our lives ..So we will not fall and get our bums wet. Being transgendered or not!   To those I have conversed with I know I have gotten some of you agitated by The use of the plural name (Michelle /Mitchell) usage on chat and other places . But that is the best way I know of to express to you . That some time you NOT going to receive at that time just a male or just a female response well thanks for reading   My favorite song quote “ Love is a Rose” By Linda Ronstadt     Michelle /Mitchell Self .
    Jan 09, 2014 1465
  • 01 Sep 2013
    now alot of folks talk here about their tansistioning my own wonder would be my identification at the cementery Now would it be  a male name or female name on the head stone or plaque . i pondered this for a while  . By thinking of what the reaction of my friends and especially   remaining  and distantfamily.    So i did some research, I found due to my economic situation i found that cremation was more in my pocket book range . since my plot was aready paid for by already gone family members. but the cementary said all sites must have a marker .  So what will it be, Mitchell R  Self or Michelle Rose Self . So I have finally after some time i had  made up my mind I gonna go with     M.R. Self . it could be for either  ,So those that do know or for those that dont know who was REALLY in this body .so when it about time of of my demise i will  have it all ready  for the funeral director ,since i have no direct family to take care of my remains
    1271 Posted by michelle/mitchell self
  • now alot of folks talk here about their tansistioning my own wonder would be my identification at the cementery Now would it be  a male name or female name on the head stone or plaque . i pondered this for a while  . By thinking of what the reaction of my friends and especially   remaining  and distantfamily.    So i did some research, I found due to my economic situation i found that cremation was more in my pocket book range . since my plot was aready paid for by already gone family members. but the cementary said all sites must have a marker .  So what will it be, Mitchell R  Self or Michelle Rose Self . So I have finally after some time i had  made up my mind I gonna go with     M.R. Self . it could be for either  ,So those that do know or for those that dont know who was REALLY in this body .so when it about time of of my demise i will  have it all ready  for the funeral director ,since i have no direct family to take care of my remains
    Sep 01, 2013 1271
  • 17 Aug 2013
    well officialy i have started my walk down the transitions pathway 1.for i have recieved this year my  letter to get estrogene and the other meds. 2, started taking those meds 3. recieved my letter of passage(travel letter) from my therapist.  Now its  up to me on how for i  will proceed this coming  year. So  discissions discissions  When is the  time for me and   which fork in the road to take. well the civil auithorities  here will wonder soon as what  i am to present as, be cause of the lletter when they see it With the government there is the only now  would it be Male or female. but right now why rush them. I waited 45 years so far      
    1175 Posted by michelle/mitchell self
  • well officialy i have started my walk down the transitions pathway 1.for i have recieved this year my  letter to get estrogene and the other meds. 2, started taking those meds 3. recieved my letter of passage(travel letter) from my therapist.  Now its  up to me on how for i  will proceed this coming  year. So  discissions discissions  When is the  time for me and   which fork in the road to take. well the civil auithorities  here will wonder soon as what  i am to present as, be cause of the lletter when they see it With the government there is the only now  would it be Male or female. but right now why rush them. I waited 45 years so far      
    Aug 17, 2013 1175