Breaking barriers

I got 3 pairs of new shoes last night! I'd hoped they would arrive last week in time for Tm as I could have done with some dancing shoes, but never mind, my old pair held out. Mind you I'm having to send one lot of shoes back as they sent me two left feet, are they trying to tell me something? Anyway apart from that minor detail the shoes from Additions are really nice and fit very well. Got a little summer dress too which I love, I'll definitely use that site again. Not sure when I'll get chance to go out in my new shoes though, the next Tm is certainly unlikely, but I'm going to have to get back down to London soon. In the meantime I'm hoping to arrange a few meetings with some of my girlfriends for dinner, shopping, maybe a trip to the birdcage; things that don't involve large amounts of vodka surprisingly. I was a bit scared of shopping a few weeks ago, but now I really fancy it. I know there'll be funny looks and I used to think that would bother me, but now I know it doesn't. I have a right to go shopping where and how I please and people need to see that. Saturday night was wild, and we all had a whale of a time, but I do also want to enjoy the simple pleasures in life, and do things that are a bit more serene. It doesn't really matter what I'm doing, as long as I'm out feeling at ease with myself I'll be happy.

I've lived most of my life being a bit shy of people, strangers at least; I usually feel comfortable with people I know. As I mentioned yesterday, now that Lucy is getting the chance to interact with people she is discovering what she's really like. Not as outgoing as some, but not at all afraid of other people. I've felt that difference every time I've been out so I know it's not just the vodka talking. I find I have to restrain myself from saying hello to everyone in the street actually, just because I feel so happy. No such restraints on Saturday though, it was lovely to feel comfortable approaching complete strangers and talking to them, something I never would have dreamt of in the past. But I'm just being friendly, and everyone I spoke to was friendly in return. After we left the club we all went back to the hotel bar to wind down with er, more vodka. Pippa and I were followed into the ladies' by an admirer, the lights weren't working in there and he offered to come into the cubicle with us. Just so you know, I'm not that friendly or comfortable with strangers. We went elsewhere, and he took the hint. As daybreak approached the T-web girls began to disperse, but I was there, I was dressed, and I wasn't going anywhere. Jules and I went for a brief walk outside then even she went to bed - no stamina these southerners, so I was the last of us girls still on my feet, but still plenty of other people in the bar. I talked to another admirer for quite some time, he seemed nice, gave me a kiss, kept asking for my room number, but he wasn't my type so he wasn't getting it. I noticed after a while that there were only 3 other T-girls left in the room, I had no idea what time it was but the broad daylight outside gave me a bit of a clue. So I thought I'd just say hello to them and toddle off to bed. They were with a gg, though apparently none of them knew her, when she saw me she stared at me in disbelief and said, "Leanne! Oh my God". Or words to that effect, she was clearly a little tipsy (yes ok so was I) so I thought she'd just mistaken me for someone else, "No I'm Lucy" I said, smiling sweetly, but she explained that she thought I looked just like Leanne Battersby from Coronation Street. I'm not entirely sure whether to take that as a compliment, or even where she got the similarity from, but it got us talking, she even gave me lots of kisses, and the other three T-girls got some too, she obviously liked our type. That was lovely - to meet a female admirer, proof that they do exist. There were actually lots of gg's in the club, and I talked to a few there too, but they were all in groups, so not as forward, perhaps because they were with their mates, or maybe just there because they were curious, or maybe just not pissed enough. Obviously there is still a bit of a stigma attached to men in dresses, but that was one of the great things about the whole night - all those barriers disappeared. With several hundred T-girls in the room, it's not so surprising is it?