Words and feelings

I was recently involved in a forum debate, which digressed (as they do) onto the subject of definitions of transsexual and transgender. Those of us that took an interest and commented on this were on more than one occasion told off for getting caught up in unimportant issues or just plain squabbling. Well we weren’t squabbling, so there. Use of language really interests me, and also there’s a lot of people out there who don’t really know the difference between ts and tg, so it would be nice to have a universal agreement on these terms, which describe people like ourselves. Of course the most important thing here is that the label is irrelevant to the person we actually are, I am me whatever you choose to call me. Also, for the record, no-one is wrong or right in this debate, words can be interpreted in different ways, and clear-cut definitions may need to be adjusted along with society’s changing perceptions. Some ambiguity is no surprise therefore, society’s attitude towards transgenderism is probably changing faster than it ever has done in the past.

Anyway if all that’s a bit boring, I’m only telling you because of something I stumbled across which made me giggle. Science has a little known term for people who are NOT in any way transgendered: Cisgendered (pronounced like "sis…"); having a gender identity that society considers appropriate for one's sex. And I quote, "Some have perhaps jokingly commented that if trans people can be called trannies for short, then cisgender people can be called "cissies".

Well I liked it. It’s a natural human defence to insist that one is "normal", might make people less willing to do so if they have to insist that they are cissies. Open to confusion though, "I’m not a tranny I’m a cissy… er, I mean…" See?

This week seems to have flown by, where does the time go? I went to see an old friend, William this week. He’s had a mention before, I found out a only few months ago that he’s known my secret for years, so on the few occasions that he’s been round I’ve kept my true identity hidden when I didn’t need to. Anyway after several emails saying we really must get together, we finally did, and now I have someone else that I can talk to without having to hide my true feelings. Which is nice. That makes four people outside of tweb, doesn’t sound like a lot does it? All special people though, so it makes a big difference.

A few people have said I must be walking on air, deliriously happy about telling my mum; yes sort of. Of course I’m happy I’ve got it over with and especially with the way she took it, but we still have a lot to talk about and there are still issues we both have to face up to, and despite everything in my last blog, I don’t think she’ll find it easy. I still have some decisions, and some changes to make, and the clock is ticking. My father is another matter. He would react in an entirely different manner and I presently have no intentions of telling him. I suppose one day I might have to, but I’ll deal with that when the time is right; it isn’t yet. So I’m pleased that Lucy is more out in the open than she was last week, but she still has her feet firmly on the ground, as she usually does. I am happy, more than ever, but not delirious.

Thanks for all your comments and support; makes me want to cry (bloody hormones). It was a big thing for me, I found it emotionally draining, but it was the right thing to do, and without you lot, I would never have done it. Love you all.

xx