If it’s offered on a plate…

I’ve had 2 professional makeovers in the last 2 days. At one point I had one girl doing my make up while another did my nails, while another attended to my hair. I have to admit I felt very pampered, and what’s more it didn’t cost me a penny, in fact they paid ME! Too good to be true? Well sadly I ended up looking like a filthy, somewhat revolting peasant from the 1600’s, and a blokey one too. I know, that’s not my usual image, but you see I’ve been working for the BBC as an extra in a period drama, at a castle near Carlisle. It was good fun, despite my "look", though it’s surprisingly hard work standing around all day, shaking one’s fist and shouting angrily over and over again.

The title of the show will be "Elizabeth the Virgin Queen", and it should be screened at the end of the year, or early next. A prize will go to anyone who recognises me; such were the talents of the Beeb make up ladies! The first day we were shooting a scene where two bishops were burnt at the stake. Jolly uncivilised in those days weren’t they? It’s interesting to see all the tricks they use to make it look like people are actually being burnt alive, especially when the stunt man stepped in, was painted with flammable glue, and set fire to; very spectacular, and slightly scary. Incredible, the things people do for a living. So we were the protestant protestors infuriated by such sacrilege. And a rough looking bunch we were too, all with blackened teeth, dirty hair and faces, and grubby hands and nails. Not my style at all, but hey, I’ve had a lifetime of acting experience, pretending to be a bloke…

They made me a redhead too, well, dirty tousled reddy-brown, weird. Took ages to wash out, and god was it tangled, matted even. The second day was a bit more civilised, as I was a courtier rubbing shoulders with the Queen (Ann-Marie Duff), watching an indoor tennis match. Just a brief scene and I’m not even sure if I got in shot, maybe from a distance, or a quick flash of the back of my head, which is a shame because they made my hair all curly like Shirley Temple, kind of cute, though they spoilt it when they stuck on a moustache and a little beard like a cavalier. I was quite the court fop, back to my usual blonde, but secretly jealous of all those heaving bosoms around me, and rather elegant dresses. Maybe next time I’ll get to wear a more appropriate costume, though perhaps not for such a period drama; I don’t think Lizzie the 1^st had t-girls in her court.

We finished earlier on the second day (the first had been a 12-hour day, plus an hour’s drive each way), so I couldn’t resist getting (properly) made up and going out with my new hair style, very curly girly, without the glued on beard and ‘tache of course. It was about 6pm so I just went to the supermarket and the garden shop, everywhere in town being closed by then. I would have gone for a walk somewhere but my new shoes were starting to hurt a bit. Anyway it felt lovely and I’m sure I was just that little bit more passable than usual. I took a pic when I got back but the curls had loosened up a bit by then, and I’d combed the fringe a bit straighter, to hide my wrinkles, but you get the idea I think. My costume was ok in a 1600’s posh bloke sense, but I much prefer my own outfit.

I told the agent I would be happy to do any more work he had going, but I’m not sure how long that can last. It’s getting to the point where I really shouldn’t be getting changed in front of blokes (top half at least), and it’s going to be highly impractical when I start living full time, although I virtually am already; it’s very rare that I actually go out en bloke these days. And I don’t suppose there is much work for TS extras. It was an enjoyable experience though, and a bit of pocket money too!

Thanks to everyone who sent me birthday greetings this week, if there’s anyone I haven’t replied to yet I do apologise but it’s been a hectic week, with little time to myself. Mum and I went out for a meal on Monday night at a place called "Lucy’s on a plate" in Ambleside, very appropriate. And very lovely too. The place was packed and nobody seemed to notice me, and the food was great. I’m glad it went well, for mum’s sake really, that being the first time she had been out with me all dolled up. I think these sort of experiences help her to realise that my situation is considerably less of a big deal than as first imagined, especially as far as the general public is concerned. All I need now is for my dad to realise that too. He obviously needs to see it for himself, rather than me just telling him that’s the way it is. But I’m not pressuring him, just have to give it time…

So it’s back to the 21^st century for me, back to 15 denier tights instead of 40, and court shoes in the modern sense. And I much prefer flowery skirts to those silly breeches they used to wear. I think I’ll go do some gardening now. I’m just a peasant, country girl really.

xx