Relax, don’t do it… Hit me with those laser beams…

I had my 4^th IPL session yesterday. The last couple of times I dressed ambiguously, unisex they used to call it in the days when my mum owned a dress shop (I was SO disappointed when she decided to sell it). But yesterday I put on my very girly jeans, embroidered with pink hearts and stuff, definitely NOT unisex, and a blue v-neck jumper, equally girly, well ok I have a pink one just the same but there is no ambiguity even though it’s blue. The trouble with going for my IPL sessions is that not only can I not wear make up, but I have to have enough stubble, 2 or 3 day’s worth, to be able to treat the area. So picture if you will, a girl for all intents and purposes, with designer stubble. Not a pretty sight, I think I confused a few small children in the supermarket…

Anyway my very sweet laserologist (?) said, "You look very smart today, are you going somewhere special?"

I guess I just wasn’t in the mood for being even in "half-drab", though it really is a bit weird being in public in such a way. It’s a rock and hard place situation; even if reverted to my old drab clothes, it still wouldn’t feel right. I’m still a woman even when I don’t shave. The moral of the story being: it’s not about the clothes; clothes do not maketh the woman, or something. Anyway Jade, the laserologist, was very sweet, and asked a bit more about my situation, very politely of course, without probing, and said that I looked much better in feminine clothes. We discussed the treatment. There is a clear reduction in the number of dark hairs above my top lip, and elsewhere it seems that the hair is less dense, but not drastically, and not enough to make a significant difference as yet. There are also plenty of pale hairs which laser or IPL might not target so electrolysis will almost certainly be needed at some point in the future. Anyway next session we are going to try the laser, which treats one hair at a time, unlike IPL which treats the whole face in about 20 bursts. Jade says she will still do the whole face with the laser but obviously it will take a LOT longer, I’m not so sure she will be able to do the whole lot in one go, unless I’m there into the early evening. Last time I plucked it took me about 4 hours to clear the whole lot, though laser shouldn’t take as long as tweezing out each hair very carefully (do it carelessly and you will be left blotchy; the hairs have to be pulled out in the direction of growth, I’ve found). So we shall see. There is no extra charge even though it means a lot more work for Jade. Probably a lot more pain for me too, but you know the saying about pain and gain…

One thing everyone should be aware of regarding hair removal is, don’t expect miracles, or even quick results. There is no magic way to remove um, "stubborn" facial hair. Time, pain, money are the main ingredients, even hormones don’t seem to help. I wish I’d started years ago, but then I wish I’d told my parents how I felt when I was 4, or indeed at any point over the following 37 years. I don’t think my dad can quite get his head round it, and really it seems that he won’t even try. One can only wonder how things would be now if I had told him when I was a child. Mum continues to be, I can’t think of a sufficiently descriptive adjective, wonderful, extremely wonderful. She’s telling her friends now, and is trying to help dad to come to terms with it in some way. Some of her friends have contacted me directly to offer their love and support. My brother also responded to my last email in a more positive way, he’s being defensive towards dad (he doesn’t need to be; I DO understand), but it seems he is fine with my situation, I think somehow, somewhere, one way or another, he does understand what this all means for me. He’s coming up in a couple of weeks, the first time since the news broke, so it will be a little nervy for me, but I’m sure all will be fine. The unknown quantity of course is the dad situation; normally when big brother ventures up north we all get together, usually go out for dinner (especially when he has a new girlfriend, which is most times he visits, including this one). Dad said he isn’t ready to meet Lucy, and still hasn’t yet told me otherwise. It’s Lucy or no-one now though, so I just have to wait and see if he invites me to join them. He’s not saying much at all at the moment, certainly not to me.

The world of terrorism and extremism saddens me hugely. The thing that gets me is how they justify it using religion. I do not criticise Islam, or any one religion, if my feelings are a criticism it is directed towards ALL religion. I’m an atheist, I don’t force that belief upon anyone, but I stand by my beliefs, and yes, it IS a belief, don’t call me an unbeliever or an infidel. Let’s suppose I am right, that there is no god, that everything in the universe is created by and ruled by nature and its laws. The suicide bombers who claim that it is "their" god’s will that innocent civilians should die are basing their beliefs on something that does not exist. One individual on a news report claimed that all Moslems should believe that this life is a test. Two huge flaws there, in my way of thinking. We are all born and live on the same piece of rock which floats around the universe. We are all very small. Why must we base our actions on what comes after we die, and abstract ideologies like religion? It seems wrong to me; better to live together in peace, to not have any hatred to others who share the same planet, and to base philosophies around life, not death. Life is not a test-run, it’s not a rehearsal nor an assessment by a higher being. It’s our one chance to do the right thing. We only get one go at life, make it a good one. There is no justification for killing innocent people. Your god says it is right? There is no god. Get real, come down to earth, live this life in peace. I am not responsible for any country’s foreign policy nor any other excuse that may be used; I do not condone such policies any more than I condone suicide bombing. I do not single out Moslems or believe they should be treated differently to any other human being; I have nothing against them. I was born in the west and I can’t help that. I am not a justifiable target. Do not target me. Do not randomly kill people of all ages and religious beliefs in the name of anything. It is WRONG.

The news today is that one of the named suspects of the recent attempted bombings has been arrested. Clearly he is a danger to society and I can only be glad, if indeed it is the man they think it is, that he is behind bars. I hope this all now seems more real to him than the notion of going to paradise, but I suspect he is beyond hope with his misguided beliefs.

It’s not paradise guys, it’s only pain and suffering for your fellow human beings. Inflicting this on others can never help your cause.

I pray to myself that these people will one day see the bigger picture.

Peace and love to you all.

xx