Like waiting for a bus

Last night turned out to be considerably more interesting than I had anticipated. Went out for a meal with mum and bruv and his partner, just down the local Indian (fantastic by the way), sorry Tiina I mentioned food again. We headed back towards mum’s house reaching the T-junction at the main street, gosh how appropriate, you’ll see why. Do we go left to mum’s or right to have a quick look in the pub which was hosting the weekly "jam" session, strains of rhythm and blues coming from down the alley, didn’t sound great, but I was assertive, "Yes, let’s go and have a look, the night is young…" So we did.

It’s the only place in town I’ve ever seen another T-girl, though the last time I saw her was a couple of years ago, before I was "out", and I was with friends so I felt I couldn’t really approach her. Every time I go into that place I hope she will be there, so I can get to meet her. This time she was there. I was dressed (of course), with my family, and had had a drink so had no qualms about talking to anyone, not that I do anymore really, but you know, a drink often helps to swing things along… It seemed like a good time to finally meet her.

Mum had met her years ago at a party, and they had spoken then because she used to live just round the corner from mum. So that gave mum an excuse to approach her, not that mum would need one, but she didn’t hesitate. I got my drink and followed behind and mum introduced me, "This is my… daughter, Lucy". I think she hesitated on purpose in a "nudge nudge, wink wink" sort of way, though of course she didn’t need to. We exchanged niceties and Sue (as I had just learned) said, "Let’s go outside and have a chat". Hard to chat with even a relatively quiet blues band in the background, so we grabbed a table in the Alley and we were off. She’s really lovely, had a similar attitude to me towards transitioning and everything, ie everyone knows about her, as they do about me now, word travels fast in this town. She’s post-op and a few years older than me, but she looks younger, cow, in fact she looks great. Respect. We talked about everything, so interesting for me, so helpful, and so great to know someone locally in a similar situation, though a few years down the road of transition of course. She has two daughters, one who I met briefly when she came to meet her boyfriend, and the other who she called and suggested she come round to meet me. Why? Because this daughter used to be her son, now also post-op, aged 30, looking utterly convincing and equally lovely. 3 T-girls at the same pub in Kendal, who would have thought it?! For me, this was a great experience, to know I’m not the only one, to see these two doing so well, being so lovely, having no problems with anyone. They both looked good, but I have to say no-one would ever have guessed that the daughter used to be a bloke. I certainly would never have known, had I not been introduced. If there is a moral here, it’s: If you’re TS then don’t waste time, do it now! It doesn’t get any easier as you get older. And remember, you’re not the only one! You may even be surprised how many there are near you, I was.

Just like waiting for a bus, you wait for ages then 3 come along at once...

We exchanged numbers so I hope to see her again soon. She’s even got spare hormones to give away, as she is prescribed more than she uses so has a stockpile. Wow! Pinch myself, Ouch! No, I’m not dreaming, this really is Kendal, I really am awake, the world really is changing. Lock yourself indoors if you want, but if you do you’re living in denial. Why did it take me so long to get this far? Too late to ponder, and no point anyway. The future is now.

Over the last few weeks since I’ve been going out more, meeting old friends and new, I’ve been so reassured by everyone’s attitude. Even strangers, even Kendalian blokes. Blimey!

Being a woman never seemed wrong to me, it’s always what I’ve felt I am, but now perhaps, it’s never seemed more right.

Thank you everyone.

xx