This won’t hurt at all…

Haven’t had much time to blog recently, I will be able to breathe again after Saturday, when it’s our first gig. There’s been lots of work to do, mainly learning 27 songs, which I think I’ve got the hang of now. I’ll be less nervous if I’m confident of the material. I never really get nervous going on stage, you kind of get used to it (after 25 years), but after a break of several years and the fact that this will be Lucy’s first public performance, I think I should be allowed a few first night nerves.

We’ve only had 5 rehearsals, last one was tonight, it’s not really enough for a new band but I think we’ll get away with it. There are a few bits that still don’t sound quite right but these will be ironed out over time; a band has to gig to really become a band, so I think it’s good that we’re getting out sooner rather than later.

Been going mad on ebay, but hey I need new clothes for onstage, and don’t really have much in the rock chick department, but I’m getting there. Have bought several musical/electrical items too, spares and replacements for the band. Ideally I’d like 2 of everything, no doubt the one thing I don’t have a spare for will be the one that breaks down…

Anyway you don’t want to hear about the technical stuff. I’ve thought a lot about what I should wear, and will probably experiment a bit, but at the moment I feel I’d like to go for short leather skirt, maybe glossy black tights, and a low cut top, which will probably be black, as most of my sexy tops are, which means I’ll be all in black, hmmm, don’t want to do that all the time, but it’s a starting point image-wise. I could do with some better boots, tried to find some the other day in town but there was just nothing around that was suitable. I can’t have heels, I’m already taller than all the band, perhaps about the same as the singer. Finding decent, flat but sexy black boots is not easy! I ended up buying some brown ones, but they’re not suitable for the band. I really must stop spending money…

Pip is coming up for the gig hopefully, and my mum will be there and an old friend or two and at least two of the t-girls from round here, so I’ll have my own little group of supporters, the Lucy Diamond fan club! I think that will help, a bit of moral support.

I’m really looking forward to it actually. Although I hated being in public as a bloke, ironically, being onstage was the least distressing place to be for a long time. I think the music almost transcended my fears in a way. It was a way of getting my inner spirit out, using a different language to communicate to the world who I really was. Catharsis perhaps. But there’s no doubt that in the later days of my band life it was becoming more and more difficult to make such a public show. The gaze of the audience began to crowd in on me, and the stage started to feel like a claustrophobic space in my agoraphobic world.

Being myself is so much better, will feel so much better onstage, just as it does in normal life, I just know it will. Perhaps I’ve never wanted to go onstage so much! Well hell, I’ve never wanted to be alive so much!

And oh yeah, my mum has joined the site, hello mum! She’s only just got a decent computer so is new to all this internet stuff and online communities and things, so she might be a bit quiet, but she’s not being shy or anything, just finding her way round. Anyway, I hope you girls will all behave yourselves from now on! She’s lovely, so please be nice to her.

Suppose I’d better get to bed, dentist in the morning (ugh), as I’m having problems with a back tooth that broke ages ago. I think it’ll need to come out. Now there’s something I’m NOT looking forward to.

Major surgery? No problem. Dentist pulling teeth? No thanks.

xx