In and Out...In and Out...

• Posted by Samantha Erica April 4, 2014 Filed in Society Girl's Personal Blogs ##transgender  ##crossdressing  1,435 views
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  You know when you're a kid and you run indoors to grab something, like a PB&J sandwich and then run outdoors to play, but then you forget your toys so you run back in and your parents holler out "come in or stay outside, but don't keep going back and forth!"

   

  For some the idea of going in or out of perceived gender "roles" or experiences can lead to frustrating ideas. It confusing to the outsiders (like your parents didn't get why you needed to keep coming in and going out) - and often it confuses ourselves as well.

   

  Dressing up doesn't always fit like a premium set of tights. In fact, a GF and I were chatting (OK, we were b****ing LOL) about how tall girls can't find good fitting clothes. They make the aspect of being what you want to be much harder and awkward to convey, so we get uncomfortable and need a change.

   

  Why is it that society seems to favor the slim, petite girls but ignores a BBW or a RTG (really tall girl). I saw a girl a few weeks ago - she was just a teen but she was *so* tall. I can imagine she will get taller, and she'll probably ask herself the same question - why is it so hard to dress up nicely?

   

  I'm not saying that's a reason to go in and out of "gender modes" - but if you aren't comfortable you really aren't going to feel "with it" and "part of the team."

   

  I  have GF's that can absolutely transform and be amazing - partly as they can find clothes that fit well and look gorgeous. I did not get the same endowments but that's OK, it's what I was given and I deal with it.

   

  But, like other things, I move in and out of the wants of Samantha... she's not needy but she likes her time, her personal things and being given the chance to "shine" - even for a short time. Samantha always is asking "why can't we just find a way to fit in?"

   

  Lately I found some jeans that were designed for taller women and they fit great! Of course, nothing beats a good dress, but on a tall woman it may end up looking like a a long shirt and not a beautiful dress landing just above the knees (I have issues with my knees too but I'll let that go for now...).

   

  So Samantha gets to wear long skirts in hopes that they fit well and they usually do. My 'first' skirt was a long denim skirt that lands at the ankles. I loved wearing it (I still do) - it is a wonderful item and I got it on a whim hoping it would fit. And it did. But fear & loathing put the skirt back in the bag and it was hidden away.

   

  Moving in and out, like a renter at a timeshare, is not always a bad thing, but it is a confusing and sometimes frustrating thing. I see so many beautiful women, in just everyday life - not trying to wow the world. I just want to be able to be like that. Average, everyday, run-of-the-mill woman. My good friends have told me I am "amazing" and "beautiful" but in some sense I see things they don't (or they respectfully don't tell me) and the feeling is to go in-and-out again. It's a revolving door.

   

  Sometimes you get dizzy, though, and you just want to land your boots on solid ground and sigh happily "ah, I am home again!"