Please Visit Our Sponsor





User's Tags

Lucy Diamond 's Entries

204 blogs
  • 31 Aug 2004
    Beam me up I had a night out planned in the Village tomorrow with Cathy, but due to unforeseen circumstances it has now been cancelled. As many of you know Cathy’s wife recently found the Wayout Tranny Guide lying around and confronted her with it, forcing Cathy into some on the spot damage limitation. Having been so close (inches away) to being discovered myself by both friends and family, I can imagine the terror that Cathy must have felt. My heart goes out to her at this difficult time, currently she is having to endure the roaring silence of a perplexed wife. It’s easy to be philosophical, even, as I’ve seen happen, glibly righteous about Cathy’s circumstances or course of action, but people must do what they feel is right for themselves, and sometimes only they know best what that is. Had I been in Cathy’s situation, family-wise, I would have lied through my teeth. Perhaps like Cathy, when I married, I felt differently about myself, with regard to doing strange things like dressing up as a woman. I didn’t really know myself then, didn’t know who I was, thought it was best to do things the way everyone else around me did them, despite knowing with 99.9% certainty that I was transsexual. Were she in a position to do so, my wife would probably have never forgiven me for not telling her. But I wasn’t being dishonest, I just didn’t think living as a woman was a realistic hope, so I just did the best job I could in whatever way I could. I get the impression (I may be wrong) that like me, Cathy has discovered herself since joining this site, or shall we say, has realised the importance of her own self-expression. I’ve had the freedom of living on my own for a good many years, but in the last year have discovered more about myself than in the previous forty, and for once in my life, I really do feel free. Freedom of self-expression, it’s changed me so much and I revel in it, often at the peril of my friends. But Cathy, having discovered its importance, is forbidden from it. Basically I never knew what I was missing, and Cathy does, and now must be all the more careful to hide her true self. What an awful thing to have to do. I do hope that Mrs Cat will become educated with the facts about our conditions, and one day accustomed to her husband’s "strange" habits. Because they’re not strange Mrs Cat, what we do is totally normal and non-harmful to human life as we know it, Jim. Cathy, I’m sure you just want Scottie to beam you up right now, so I wish you lots of love, and hope to see you again soon. By the way, is it Scottie or Scotty?
    449 Posted by Lucy Diamond
  • Beam me up I had a night out planned in the Village tomorrow with Cathy, but due to unforeseen circumstances it has now been cancelled. As many of you know Cathy’s wife recently found the Wayout Tranny Guide lying around and confronted her with it, forcing Cathy into some on the spot damage limitation. Having been so close (inches away) to being discovered myself by both friends and family, I can imagine the terror that Cathy must have felt. My heart goes out to her at this difficult time, currently she is having to endure the roaring silence of a perplexed wife. It’s easy to be philosophical, even, as I’ve seen happen, glibly righteous about Cathy’s circumstances or course of action, but people must do what they feel is right for themselves, and sometimes only they know best what that is. Had I been in Cathy’s situation, family-wise, I would have lied through my teeth. Perhaps like Cathy, when I married, I felt differently about myself, with regard to doing strange things like dressing up as a woman. I didn’t really know myself then, didn’t know who I was, thought it was best to do things the way everyone else around me did them, despite knowing with 99.9% certainty that I was transsexual. Were she in a position to do so, my wife would probably have never forgiven me for not telling her. But I wasn’t being dishonest, I just didn’t think living as a woman was a realistic hope, so I just did the best job I could in whatever way I could. I get the impression (I may be wrong) that like me, Cathy has discovered herself since joining this site, or shall we say, has realised the importance of her own self-expression. I’ve had the freedom of living on my own for a good many years, but in the last year have discovered more about myself than in the previous forty, and for once in my life, I really do feel free. Freedom of self-expression, it’s changed me so much and I revel in it, often at the peril of my friends. But Cathy, having discovered its importance, is forbidden from it. Basically I never knew what I was missing, and Cathy does, and now must be all the more careful to hide her true self. What an awful thing to have to do. I do hope that Mrs Cat will become educated with the facts about our conditions, and one day accustomed to her husband’s "strange" habits. Because they’re not strange Mrs Cat, what we do is totally normal and non-harmful to human life as we know it, Jim. Cathy, I’m sure you just want Scottie to beam you up right now, so I wish you lots of love, and hope to see you again soon. By the way, is it Scottie or Scotty?
    Aug 31, 2004 449
  • 27 Aug 2004
    Girly Heaven As promised, Pippa came up on Tuesday for 2 days and 2 nights of total girlyness. It’s been lovely, we’ve had such fun. She arrived about 9pm, having been working that day, so she needed to bathe and make herself beautiful when she arrived. I was already dressed and made up so I made some sandwiches and salad to go with the carrot soup I’d prepared earlier. We ate, then had a drink and a chat on the sofa, it was nice to curl up again and have a cosy quiet evening in. I do like the simple pleasures in life, as well as being a bit of a party animal at times. So we had a reasonably early night and went to bed reasonably sober, which is probably a first for us. Didn’t stop us having a lie-in though, I’m not a morning person and I wanted to be sure Pippa got plenty of rest and relaxation while she was here. It’s Pippa’s birthday today (Friday), but since we had a full day together I thought we should celebrate it then (Wednesday), so she awoke to find a couple of pressies and a card waiting for her. I’d got her a selection of tops and a nice Dorothy Perkins dress, all very girly stuff, so we had lots of trying on to do later. After coffee and croissants we got changed and decided to take some pics outside, to hell with the neighbours. Neither of us, well me especially, looked our best as we’d slept in our make up, and only touched up our lippy, but it was fun nevertheless; nice to be out on a sunny day, pottering around the garden, doing some silly poses and generally being girly and giggly. By the way, the album formerly known as "Lucy & Pippa’s girly night in", has now been extended and re-named, "Lucy & Pippa’s girly days and nights", hopefully there will be lots more additions to it in the future. Pippa had insisted that she cooked for me this time, so I left her in charge of the kitchen while I got tarted up again and did my make up properly. She made us a bolognese that was really delicious, I could get used to this, and I opened a rather nice bottle of special reserve Chardonnay, well, it was her birthday. On to the vodka and upstairs to have a play with some clothes, 2 of my favourite pastimes. We tried lots of different looks and took some more photos. At about 11pm we decided to go for a little walk, the nearby caravan site seemed like a good idea, not sure why, maybe it was the thrill of actually being seen by someone. There wouldn’t be many people around at that time of night though and it was dark and I didn’t expect that anyone would actually notice us. We were however, somewhat overdressed for a caravan site. Pippa had one of my black lacy skirts on with one of her new pink tops, and I had a long pink beaded dress on. We both had heels on and shawls to complete the look. Girls around here don’t even dress like that for special occasions, let alone wandering around campsites, so we certainly had the potential for drawing attention to ourselves. Most of the campers were tucked up in bed though, or watching satellite tv like campers seem to do these days. One guy stepped out of his caravan in front of us to walk his dog, and another lady (wearing jogging pants and a t-shirt) saw us from not far away, but I’m sure neither of them noticed anything unusual, apart from perhaps our rather glamorous outfits. Another change of clothes and another drink and some more pics and it was time for another reasonably early night. Another nice lie-in too, but this time we got up and had a hearty English breakfast, instead of that poncey French stuff. We had a lovely afternoon, more chatting, a change of clothes or two, and had a look at the pics from the previous day. I’d got very used to Pippa being there, always at my side, and it was weird when she left; an empty space where there should have been a smiley chatty person. I’ve lived on my own for a long time so I’m used to the solitude, it’s never bothered me, I enjoy it in fact, but after 2 days of someone being there it seemed like someone was now missing. At the same time, I missed her but felt her presence; she was gone but still with me. The solitude I’m used to had changed somehow, and the house felt more empty than it has ever done. Her perfume is still in the air and I still look over my shoulder expecting to see her there. It is silent but I hear her voice, the house is empty but her love is everywhere. Come back soon, my sweet, I miss you. xx
    426 Posted by Lucy Diamond
  • Girly Heaven As promised, Pippa came up on Tuesday for 2 days and 2 nights of total girlyness. It’s been lovely, we’ve had such fun. She arrived about 9pm, having been working that day, so she needed to bathe and make herself beautiful when she arrived. I was already dressed and made up so I made some sandwiches and salad to go with the carrot soup I’d prepared earlier. We ate, then had a drink and a chat on the sofa, it was nice to curl up again and have a cosy quiet evening in. I do like the simple pleasures in life, as well as being a bit of a party animal at times. So we had a reasonably early night and went to bed reasonably sober, which is probably a first for us. Didn’t stop us having a lie-in though, I’m not a morning person and I wanted to be sure Pippa got plenty of rest and relaxation while she was here. It’s Pippa’s birthday today (Friday), but since we had a full day together I thought we should celebrate it then (Wednesday), so she awoke to find a couple of pressies and a card waiting for her. I’d got her a selection of tops and a nice Dorothy Perkins dress, all very girly stuff, so we had lots of trying on to do later. After coffee and croissants we got changed and decided to take some pics outside, to hell with the neighbours. Neither of us, well me especially, looked our best as we’d slept in our make up, and only touched up our lippy, but it was fun nevertheless; nice to be out on a sunny day, pottering around the garden, doing some silly poses and generally being girly and giggly. By the way, the album formerly known as "Lucy & Pippa’s girly night in", has now been extended and re-named, "Lucy & Pippa’s girly days and nights", hopefully there will be lots more additions to it in the future. Pippa had insisted that she cooked for me this time, so I left her in charge of the kitchen while I got tarted up again and did my make up properly. She made us a bolognese that was really delicious, I could get used to this, and I opened a rather nice bottle of special reserve Chardonnay, well, it was her birthday. On to the vodka and upstairs to have a play with some clothes, 2 of my favourite pastimes. We tried lots of different looks and took some more photos. At about 11pm we decided to go for a little walk, the nearby caravan site seemed like a good idea, not sure why, maybe it was the thrill of actually being seen by someone. There wouldn’t be many people around at that time of night though and it was dark and I didn’t expect that anyone would actually notice us. We were however, somewhat overdressed for a caravan site. Pippa had one of my black lacy skirts on with one of her new pink tops, and I had a long pink beaded dress on. We both had heels on and shawls to complete the look. Girls around here don’t even dress like that for special occasions, let alone wandering around campsites, so we certainly had the potential for drawing attention to ourselves. Most of the campers were tucked up in bed though, or watching satellite tv like campers seem to do these days. One guy stepped out of his caravan in front of us to walk his dog, and another lady (wearing jogging pants and a t-shirt) saw us from not far away, but I’m sure neither of them noticed anything unusual, apart from perhaps our rather glamorous outfits. Another change of clothes and another drink and some more pics and it was time for another reasonably early night. Another nice lie-in too, but this time we got up and had a hearty English breakfast, instead of that poncey French stuff. We had a lovely afternoon, more chatting, a change of clothes or two, and had a look at the pics from the previous day. I’d got very used to Pippa being there, always at my side, and it was weird when she left; an empty space where there should have been a smiley chatty person. I’ve lived on my own for a long time so I’m used to the solitude, it’s never bothered me, I enjoy it in fact, but after 2 days of someone being there it seemed like someone was now missing. At the same time, I missed her but felt her presence; she was gone but still with me. The solitude I’m used to had changed somehow, and the house felt more empty than it has ever done. Her perfume is still in the air and I still look over my shoulder expecting to see her there. It is silent but I hear her voice, the house is empty but her love is everywhere. Come back soon, my sweet, I miss you. xx
    Aug 27, 2004 426
  • 22 Aug 2004
    How to win friends and influence people (join Trannyweb) Had a lovely girly night in last night with Cerys, who I’d met last week at the Trannyweb get-together. We’d chatted quite a bit and exchanged emails, like you do, and I liked her style, witty and intelligent. So it was nice to finally meet her and she didn’t disappoint in real life, despite that being her first night out in many years, so she was just a teeny bit nervous. I’m pleased to say she enjoyed herself and wants to get out more, good girl Cerys! So we both had a Saturday night free and decided to get together for some make up practice, it was a toss-up between her place or mine, and my place won. She arrived about 6pm and brought me flowers! This was a first, no-one’s ever done that before, such a sweet gesture, and they were lovely too. I’d already prepared some food to save us a bit of time, so we had a quick cup of tea then we got made up and dressed, just casually, for dinner. I’d made a nice hot curry and we had Chablis ice-lollies with it. Actually Cerys had brought a bottle of Chablis (good taste, babe) which was quite warm after 2 hours in the car, so I put it in the freezer and promptly forgot about it. It soon thawed enough to drink though, and was suitably cold for the curry. After dinner we went on to vodka (it’s compulsory in my house) and changed into something more elegant, both of us in black. I wore one of the dresses I bought on last week’s shopping trip with Sarah (Sarah bought one the same), and Cerys wore a long velvet evening dress. I’ve posted some more pics in my album for those of you that appreciate a nice dress, or two. Cerys looked lovely and I think appreciated the chance to dress and be able to relax without the pressures of going out, and we both needed the make up practice. We drank, chatted, listened to music until about midnight then went for a brief stroll up the road, just as Pippa and I had done a few weeks ago. Once again I had to lend my companion my big warm coat, but I was happy with my flimsy shawl. These southern girls you know – bunch of sissies. So we got back, poured another drink and had a brief chat online with Pippa. I wished she could have been here to join in the fun, but I’m pleased to say that she will be returning, in no less than 2 days, so the food can’t be that bad at Lucy’s bistro. Actually Pippa has promised to cook this time, which will be a rare treat for me, but not as much as Pippa herself, who I love dearly (what’s for dessert sweetie?) So Trannyweb strikes again, and I’ve made another true and very lovely friend. Had I not joined this site, I would have spent last night on my own, in casual clothes, though quite possibly drinking wine and eating curry, and wouldn’t have had the pleasure of a sister’s company. Nor would I have met Pippa, Sarah, Cathy, Nena, Jules, Emma, Mandy, other Sarah, other Lucy, Annette, Shan, Tina, Jayne, Lesley, Christina, Fay, Joanna, Kendra, Julie and Katie and oh god I’m bound to have forgotten someone. Not to mention all the other t-girls I’ve bumped into whilst out, or all the admirers for that matter, actually perhaps we really shouldn’t mention them… Cerys and I talked about this last night (amongst other things); to meet other sisters who share our interests and really understand, is a real honour, and bloody great fun too! Cerys, I’m proud to be able to add your name to my list, and it is simply lovely to know you and have you as a friend who understands. Your place next time babe, and I’ll bring the drinks. Chardonnay ice-lollies ok?
    495 Posted by Lucy Diamond
  • How to win friends and influence people (join Trannyweb) Had a lovely girly night in last night with Cerys, who I’d met last week at the Trannyweb get-together. We’d chatted quite a bit and exchanged emails, like you do, and I liked her style, witty and intelligent. So it was nice to finally meet her and she didn’t disappoint in real life, despite that being her first night out in many years, so she was just a teeny bit nervous. I’m pleased to say she enjoyed herself and wants to get out more, good girl Cerys! So we both had a Saturday night free and decided to get together for some make up practice, it was a toss-up between her place or mine, and my place won. She arrived about 6pm and brought me flowers! This was a first, no-one’s ever done that before, such a sweet gesture, and they were lovely too. I’d already prepared some food to save us a bit of time, so we had a quick cup of tea then we got made up and dressed, just casually, for dinner. I’d made a nice hot curry and we had Chablis ice-lollies with it. Actually Cerys had brought a bottle of Chablis (good taste, babe) which was quite warm after 2 hours in the car, so I put it in the freezer and promptly forgot about it. It soon thawed enough to drink though, and was suitably cold for the curry. After dinner we went on to vodka (it’s compulsory in my house) and changed into something more elegant, both of us in black. I wore one of the dresses I bought on last week’s shopping trip with Sarah (Sarah bought one the same), and Cerys wore a long velvet evening dress. I’ve posted some more pics in my album for those of you that appreciate a nice dress, or two. Cerys looked lovely and I think appreciated the chance to dress and be able to relax without the pressures of going out, and we both needed the make up practice. We drank, chatted, listened to music until about midnight then went for a brief stroll up the road, just as Pippa and I had done a few weeks ago. Once again I had to lend my companion my big warm coat, but I was happy with my flimsy shawl. These southern girls you know – bunch of sissies. So we got back, poured another drink and had a brief chat online with Pippa. I wished she could have been here to join in the fun, but I’m pleased to say that she will be returning, in no less than 2 days, so the food can’t be that bad at Lucy’s bistro. Actually Pippa has promised to cook this time, which will be a rare treat for me, but not as much as Pippa herself, who I love dearly (what’s for dessert sweetie?) So Trannyweb strikes again, and I’ve made another true and very lovely friend. Had I not joined this site, I would have spent last night on my own, in casual clothes, though quite possibly drinking wine and eating curry, and wouldn’t have had the pleasure of a sister’s company. Nor would I have met Pippa, Sarah, Cathy, Nena, Jules, Emma, Mandy, other Sarah, other Lucy, Annette, Shan, Tina, Jayne, Lesley, Christina, Fay, Joanna, Kendra, Julie and Katie and oh god I’m bound to have forgotten someone. Not to mention all the other t-girls I’ve bumped into whilst out, or all the admirers for that matter, actually perhaps we really shouldn’t mention them… Cerys and I talked about this last night (amongst other things); to meet other sisters who share our interests and really understand, is a real honour, and bloody great fun too! Cerys, I’m proud to be able to add your name to my list, and it is simply lovely to know you and have you as a friend who understands. Your place next time babe, and I’ll bring the drinks. Chardonnay ice-lollies ok?
    Aug 22, 2004 495
  • 16 Aug 2004
    Pour yourself a drink, make yourself comfortable, this is a long one Monday, start of a new week, and nothing planned for 5 whole days. It’s been all go recently, and last week was great. I went shopping on Monday to get some bits and pieces for the Trannyweb bash on the Wednesday. Got everything I needed and on my way back to the car I passed my favourite clothes shop in town, which sells really pretty, girly stuff and is very hard to walk past. I have to be careful in this town because everyone knows everyone else and they all love to gossip so usually I just slow down when I’m passing this shop and have a good ogle through the window. But this time there was a lovely shawl that caught my eye – black with different coloured flowers, just the sort of thing that would have gone perfectly with the strappy dress I thought I might wear on Wednesday. So I went in intending to buy it, but as I’d made it through the door I thought I must at least have a good look round. They had more lovely shawls inside which meant I was going to have to decide between them, oh dear, not one of my strong points. But then I saw a dress and a shawl together, on a stand. It was perfect, pink and flowery and very, very girly. It looked about my size too so I checked the ticket, medium, and just about affordable considering I’m living off savings at the moment. But when you see a dress like that money ceases to be an issue and I had to have it, and the shawl too. Got it home and it fitted really well, so that was it – my outfit was sorted with 2 days to go. This must be a first. Met up with some of the girls on Wednesday afternoon at the hotel. We thought we were getting a makeover but it turned out to be just a demonstration and we ended up having to do our own. We were all disappointed but I felt sorry for the girls who had never been out before and who had even less experience than I did at doing their make up. As it turned out everyone looked fine, and I was proud to be out with a group of such good-looking girls. It was also very special to be out on an official Trannyweb get-together; this site means so much to me now and it was lovely to meet some more TW girls, even Katie was there. After meeting in the hotel bar we spent a couple of hours at Velvet where the food was great. We went round a few bars and ended up in Napoleon’s, which is where all the T-girls seem to end up. Another first here – an admirer actually bought me a drink. I told him he wasn’t going to get anywhere but gave him a snog and that seemed to do the trick. Foolishly he let me order the drinks so I asked for a triple vodka, and the same for Pippa. He said to get him whatever I was having, I got him a single. The barman actually asked me what a triple vodka was. Only slightly dumbfounded at his question I explained and then had to convince him that yes please I really did want 3 vodkas in the same glass, and my girlfriend did too. I know, I’m just greedy but I was making up for lost time. Back at the hotel we had more drinks and met more girls and finally went to bed about 3am, or maybe 4am, well it was a little blurry by then. I posted a new album with pics from the night – hope you like the dress! So Thursday was a day of recovery though I did manage to get some jobs done as I had Sarah Ann coming to visit on the Friday. She arrived around 5pm, we had a cup of tea and a good natter then put some slap on, got dressed and I cooked us a hearty dinner. That girl can eat, and I knew it, but fortunately so can I. After promising ourselves that we would be good girls, as we were out again on the Saturday, we drank too much and stayed up late, of course. But it was fun, and we put the tranny world to rights. I was looking forward to Saturday, I mean really - we were going shopping in Manchester. Apart from a quick trip to Doreen’s in East London (tranny-friendly) this was a first for me. There’s something I hate about shopping in drab, everyone seems to look at you questioningly – what’s that bloke doing looking through those girly clothes, is it for himself…? etc. So I always feel slightly self-conscious. Whatever I’m doing I feel better when I’m dressed and I knew this was going to be good. What’s more I was determined to try stuff on, and make sure it fitted and looked right before I bought it. My expectations were exceeded. Perhaps obviously, it felt more natural to rummage through ladies’ clothes whilst actually wearing ladies’ clothes. Manchester, as always on a Saturday, was packed and we were surrounded by young girls rummaging alongside us. It wouldn’t be far from the truth to say that no-one took a blind bit of notice. Some girls gave me a double-take, but just carried on rummaging, apparently not in the least bothered. I was buying clothes for myself, this time there was no question, and so were they, no problem. It was nice to mingle. It took a while for 2 discerning shoppers like us to actually find anything we liked but the little black dress in Topshop seemed to have my name on it. It was short, daring but not cheap; I had to try it to be sure. There was no queue for the changing rooms and no-one on guard, though I was prepared to ask politely if it was ok to try this on, so off I went. A shop assistant came racing after me, "Hang on I just need to give you this ticket": 1 GARMENT… I smiled sweetly, "Thank-you", she smiled back, "Ok dear". I was in. A gold star to Topshop for not being anti-tranny. The dress was really nice but just too revealing. I’d just saved myself 50 quid; if I’d been in drab I would have made an impulse decision, grabbed it, felt very awkward paying for it, and hurried out of the shop. We had a bite to eat and chatted with a very friendly woman with 5 kids. Clearly, our gender was not an issue to her; she never even mentioned it and why should she? That was the overriding feeling of the day. You can walk around the streets in broad daylight wearing a skirt and a top and no-one is bothered. People are becoming educated to this; society is changing faster than some of us girls realise, it’s happening right here, right now and the best thing we can do to encourage it is get out there and be seen. We have nothing to hide. For the record, I think we had 2 comments all day, "Hello girls" sort of thing, light-hearted, not malicious and not in the least upsetting. Out of several thousand people that’s not a bad statistic. No-one gave us a nasty, or even a funny look. Over lunch we agreed that the fashions at the moment were rather dull, though it didn’t really matter if we didn’t get to buy much, I was just enjoying the experience. It was about to get even better. We bought a load of make up and had a look at some wigs which were on sale at a hairdresser’s, good quality but another time I felt. The chap there was very friendly though. The dull fashions impression went right out of the shop window when we went into West One. Sarah and Lucy had come home. This place was wonderful and we were like kids at Christmas. Everything was girly and sexy and I could have bought the whole shop. Instead I just tried half of it on. The 2 shop assistants were really, really lovely, "Of course you can try it on I have absolutely no problem with that at all". Sarah and I each bought the same dress, and she chatted to the girl at the counter while I continued to try things on. I bought 2 dresses and a skirt and wished I was rich, because I could have bought a whole lot more. After paying for my stuff I saw a black shawl on the way out. Both my dresses were strappy and it was just right for both of them and I really wanted to wear one of them that night. My new pink shawl was at home so I had to have this, besides, black is more versatile. "We can’t get rid of you can we", said the girl on the counter, "No, I expect I’ll be back in 5 minutes", said I. They were both so friendly. It might be more than 5 minutes, but I’ll be back there soon. So, choice of 2 strappy dresses to wear that night, but I needed a strapless bra. I’ve never dared go into Knickerbox in drab (I’m such a coward) so now I was really glad that I was dressed. I found a good style but none in my size, damn. "Can I help you at all?" came the voice from over my shoulder, oh yes I hope so. "I need a strapless bra in a 34C – this sort of thing". "No problem I’ll go and have a look in the back". She came back a minute later, they only had a D-cup in the style I needed to go with the low-cut dresses I’d just bought. "Well it might do actually, but I don’t suppose I can try it on." I really thought this would be out of the question. "Of course you can darling, course you can." Wow, I was amazed. She took me through, gave me some advice about the straps just in case I ever wanted to wear it that way, and showed me the button to press if I needed any help. She was lovely. I had to try one of the dresses on with the bra, just to be sure, so I took a while. The cubicle was like an oven (it had a proper door with a lock) and my make up was melting. I had to ask for a tissue. It was after 5 by the time I’d finished and the shop had actually closed, but all the time the girls remained lovely. I took the bra, and Sarah found some classy looking hold-ups. We were, as they say in Manchester, sorted. Our feet were killing us, oh my god not half, so we got the tram back to my hotel. It was only one stop away but I had to sit down. A guy asked if he could sit next to me, Sarah apparently had decided to stand so I said yes. He was harmless, but instantly besotted. "I think you’re really gorgeous…" etc. He put his hand on my leg so I removed it. "Sorry I just think you’re really gorgeous". (You have to imagine that in a whiney Manchester accent to get the full effect). Either Sarah’s feet got the better of her or she saw the creepy guy next to me so came and sat down. "That’s my friend", I said, "I feel safe with her because she’s a black belt in Karate". He didn’t touch my leg after that but he did remind me that he thought I was really gorgeous. He followed us off the tram and after a while Sarah told him to go away. He hung back, still following but pretending not to. So we stood at a bus stop, waited for him to go past and lost him. Didn’t want him following us to my hotel, but shortly after Sarah bumped into him as she was getting a taxi to her hotel. She got rid of him again. He was a creep, but he was harmless, and who can blame him for finding us glamorous girls about town, really gorgeous. Pippa arrived, we got made up and dressed and hit the village, for the second time that week. Saturday night, this was the busiest I’ve ever seen the place. Almost too busy but I really enjoyed myself, and was nowhere near as drunk as the past few times I’ve been there. After a couple of drinks and a good chat on the sofa upstairs at Via Fossa, we passed a hen party in the street and they latched on to us in admiration, which was nice, a chance for a good flirt with some young girls, I wasn’t complaining. So they hung around for quite a while and we went to a couple more bars, but this time avoided Napoleon’s, before calling it a night. I posted some pics of Pippa and me in my Lovely Lucy album, and once again, I hope you like the dress! Sarah decided to dress for the journey back to my house on Sunday, indeed for her journey back down south after that, so I thought what the hell and dressed too. I didn’t re-do my whole make up but it needed seriously touching up after Pippa had severely smudged it the night before. Not that I’m complaining mind, some things are worth being smudged for. After dropping off Pippa, Sarah and I stopped for lunch at a motorway service station. Some people looked but didn’t stare, once again, no problem. I went to the ladies, not the same as going somewhere in the Village, there were young children and old ladies in there and everyone was sober, but I swear, no-one noticed me. I guess they just weren’t looking, I mean, I hadn’t even had a shave since the night before! When we got back home we had some tea and a look at the pics from the night before and Sarah set off for her long journey home. Sarah babe, it was lovely to have you visit me, you’re a true friend, and I look forward to seeing you again in a couple of weeks. We must go shopping again soon too! I don’t intend to be reckless about going out, but I have to go to places other than tranny-friendly venues. I may never become a woman, I may never be full-time as a woman, that is for the future to decide, but I have to get on with my life as best I can or I shall wither away and die. There may be a nutter waiting for me round the next corner, but he would probably pick on me however I was dressed, and I can not compromise my needs for fear of what might happen. Otherwise I will be dead anyway. To all you girls who have told me that you’d like to go shopping dressed but are not ready for it, I say yes you are, because no-one is bothered by it, it’s no big deal, and it’s a damn sight easier than shopping in drab. If there are people out there who have a problem with the likes of us then they need educating; pretending you don’t exist will not help anyone, you or them. At last in my life I feel like I really exist, and it feels good. Without this I am nothing and no-one; with it I am virtually complete, and very happy.
    443 Posted by Lucy Diamond
  • Pour yourself a drink, make yourself comfortable, this is a long one Monday, start of a new week, and nothing planned for 5 whole days. It’s been all go recently, and last week was great. I went shopping on Monday to get some bits and pieces for the Trannyweb bash on the Wednesday. Got everything I needed and on my way back to the car I passed my favourite clothes shop in town, which sells really pretty, girly stuff and is very hard to walk past. I have to be careful in this town because everyone knows everyone else and they all love to gossip so usually I just slow down when I’m passing this shop and have a good ogle through the window. But this time there was a lovely shawl that caught my eye – black with different coloured flowers, just the sort of thing that would have gone perfectly with the strappy dress I thought I might wear on Wednesday. So I went in intending to buy it, but as I’d made it through the door I thought I must at least have a good look round. They had more lovely shawls inside which meant I was going to have to decide between them, oh dear, not one of my strong points. But then I saw a dress and a shawl together, on a stand. It was perfect, pink and flowery and very, very girly. It looked about my size too so I checked the ticket, medium, and just about affordable considering I’m living off savings at the moment. But when you see a dress like that money ceases to be an issue and I had to have it, and the shawl too. Got it home and it fitted really well, so that was it – my outfit was sorted with 2 days to go. This must be a first. Met up with some of the girls on Wednesday afternoon at the hotel. We thought we were getting a makeover but it turned out to be just a demonstration and we ended up having to do our own. We were all disappointed but I felt sorry for the girls who had never been out before and who had even less experience than I did at doing their make up. As it turned out everyone looked fine, and I was proud to be out with a group of such good-looking girls. It was also very special to be out on an official Trannyweb get-together; this site means so much to me now and it was lovely to meet some more TW girls, even Katie was there. After meeting in the hotel bar we spent a couple of hours at Velvet where the food was great. We went round a few bars and ended up in Napoleon’s, which is where all the T-girls seem to end up. Another first here – an admirer actually bought me a drink. I told him he wasn’t going to get anywhere but gave him a snog and that seemed to do the trick. Foolishly he let me order the drinks so I asked for a triple vodka, and the same for Pippa. He said to get him whatever I was having, I got him a single. The barman actually asked me what a triple vodka was. Only slightly dumbfounded at his question I explained and then had to convince him that yes please I really did want 3 vodkas in the same glass, and my girlfriend did too. I know, I’m just greedy but I was making up for lost time. Back at the hotel we had more drinks and met more girls and finally went to bed about 3am, or maybe 4am, well it was a little blurry by then. I posted a new album with pics from the night – hope you like the dress! So Thursday was a day of recovery though I did manage to get some jobs done as I had Sarah Ann coming to visit on the Friday. She arrived around 5pm, we had a cup of tea and a good natter then put some slap on, got dressed and I cooked us a hearty dinner. That girl can eat, and I knew it, but fortunately so can I. After promising ourselves that we would be good girls, as we were out again on the Saturday, we drank too much and stayed up late, of course. But it was fun, and we put the tranny world to rights. I was looking forward to Saturday, I mean really - we were going shopping in Manchester. Apart from a quick trip to Doreen’s in East London (tranny-friendly) this was a first for me. There’s something I hate about shopping in drab, everyone seems to look at you questioningly – what’s that bloke doing looking through those girly clothes, is it for himself…? etc. So I always feel slightly self-conscious. Whatever I’m doing I feel better when I’m dressed and I knew this was going to be good. What’s more I was determined to try stuff on, and make sure it fitted and looked right before I bought it. My expectations were exceeded. Perhaps obviously, it felt more natural to rummage through ladies’ clothes whilst actually wearing ladies’ clothes. Manchester, as always on a Saturday, was packed and we were surrounded by young girls rummaging alongside us. It wouldn’t be far from the truth to say that no-one took a blind bit of notice. Some girls gave me a double-take, but just carried on rummaging, apparently not in the least bothered. I was buying clothes for myself, this time there was no question, and so were they, no problem. It was nice to mingle. It took a while for 2 discerning shoppers like us to actually find anything we liked but the little black dress in Topshop seemed to have my name on it. It was short, daring but not cheap; I had to try it to be sure. There was no queue for the changing rooms and no-one on guard, though I was prepared to ask politely if it was ok to try this on, so off I went. A shop assistant came racing after me, "Hang on I just need to give you this ticket": 1 GARMENT… I smiled sweetly, "Thank-you", she smiled back, "Ok dear". I was in. A gold star to Topshop for not being anti-tranny. The dress was really nice but just too revealing. I’d just saved myself 50 quid; if I’d been in drab I would have made an impulse decision, grabbed it, felt very awkward paying for it, and hurried out of the shop. We had a bite to eat and chatted with a very friendly woman with 5 kids. Clearly, our gender was not an issue to her; she never even mentioned it and why should she? That was the overriding feeling of the day. You can walk around the streets in broad daylight wearing a skirt and a top and no-one is bothered. People are becoming educated to this; society is changing faster than some of us girls realise, it’s happening right here, right now and the best thing we can do to encourage it is get out there and be seen. We have nothing to hide. For the record, I think we had 2 comments all day, "Hello girls" sort of thing, light-hearted, not malicious and not in the least upsetting. Out of several thousand people that’s not a bad statistic. No-one gave us a nasty, or even a funny look. Over lunch we agreed that the fashions at the moment were rather dull, though it didn’t really matter if we didn’t get to buy much, I was just enjoying the experience. It was about to get even better. We bought a load of make up and had a look at some wigs which were on sale at a hairdresser’s, good quality but another time I felt. The chap there was very friendly though. The dull fashions impression went right out of the shop window when we went into West One. Sarah and Lucy had come home. This place was wonderful and we were like kids at Christmas. Everything was girly and sexy and I could have bought the whole shop. Instead I just tried half of it on. The 2 shop assistants were really, really lovely, "Of course you can try it on I have absolutely no problem with that at all". Sarah and I each bought the same dress, and she chatted to the girl at the counter while I continued to try things on. I bought 2 dresses and a skirt and wished I was rich, because I could have bought a whole lot more. After paying for my stuff I saw a black shawl on the way out. Both my dresses were strappy and it was just right for both of them and I really wanted to wear one of them that night. My new pink shawl was at home so I had to have this, besides, black is more versatile. "We can’t get rid of you can we", said the girl on the counter, "No, I expect I’ll be back in 5 minutes", said I. They were both so friendly. It might be more than 5 minutes, but I’ll be back there soon. So, choice of 2 strappy dresses to wear that night, but I needed a strapless bra. I’ve never dared go into Knickerbox in drab (I’m such a coward) so now I was really glad that I was dressed. I found a good style but none in my size, damn. "Can I help you at all?" came the voice from over my shoulder, oh yes I hope so. "I need a strapless bra in a 34C – this sort of thing". "No problem I’ll go and have a look in the back". She came back a minute later, they only had a D-cup in the style I needed to go with the low-cut dresses I’d just bought. "Well it might do actually, but I don’t suppose I can try it on." I really thought this would be out of the question. "Of course you can darling, course you can." Wow, I was amazed. She took me through, gave me some advice about the straps just in case I ever wanted to wear it that way, and showed me the button to press if I needed any help. She was lovely. I had to try one of the dresses on with the bra, just to be sure, so I took a while. The cubicle was like an oven (it had a proper door with a lock) and my make up was melting. I had to ask for a tissue. It was after 5 by the time I’d finished and the shop had actually closed, but all the time the girls remained lovely. I took the bra, and Sarah found some classy looking hold-ups. We were, as they say in Manchester, sorted. Our feet were killing us, oh my god not half, so we got the tram back to my hotel. It was only one stop away but I had to sit down. A guy asked if he could sit next to me, Sarah apparently had decided to stand so I said yes. He was harmless, but instantly besotted. "I think you’re really gorgeous…" etc. He put his hand on my leg so I removed it. "Sorry I just think you’re really gorgeous". (You have to imagine that in a whiney Manchester accent to get the full effect). Either Sarah’s feet got the better of her or she saw the creepy guy next to me so came and sat down. "That’s my friend", I said, "I feel safe with her because she’s a black belt in Karate". He didn’t touch my leg after that but he did remind me that he thought I was really gorgeous. He followed us off the tram and after a while Sarah told him to go away. He hung back, still following but pretending not to. So we stood at a bus stop, waited for him to go past and lost him. Didn’t want him following us to my hotel, but shortly after Sarah bumped into him as she was getting a taxi to her hotel. She got rid of him again. He was a creep, but he was harmless, and who can blame him for finding us glamorous girls about town, really gorgeous. Pippa arrived, we got made up and dressed and hit the village, for the second time that week. Saturday night, this was the busiest I’ve ever seen the place. Almost too busy but I really enjoyed myself, and was nowhere near as drunk as the past few times I’ve been there. After a couple of drinks and a good chat on the sofa upstairs at Via Fossa, we passed a hen party in the street and they latched on to us in admiration, which was nice, a chance for a good flirt with some young girls, I wasn’t complaining. So they hung around for quite a while and we went to a couple more bars, but this time avoided Napoleon’s, before calling it a night. I posted some pics of Pippa and me in my Lovely Lucy album, and once again, I hope you like the dress! Sarah decided to dress for the journey back to my house on Sunday, indeed for her journey back down south after that, so I thought what the hell and dressed too. I didn’t re-do my whole make up but it needed seriously touching up after Pippa had severely smudged it the night before. Not that I’m complaining mind, some things are worth being smudged for. After dropping off Pippa, Sarah and I stopped for lunch at a motorway service station. Some people looked but didn’t stare, once again, no problem. I went to the ladies, not the same as going somewhere in the Village, there were young children and old ladies in there and everyone was sober, but I swear, no-one noticed me. I guess they just weren’t looking, I mean, I hadn’t even had a shave since the night before! When we got back home we had some tea and a look at the pics from the night before and Sarah set off for her long journey home. Sarah babe, it was lovely to have you visit me, you’re a true friend, and I look forward to seeing you again in a couple of weeks. We must go shopping again soon too! I don’t intend to be reckless about going out, but I have to go to places other than tranny-friendly venues. I may never become a woman, I may never be full-time as a woman, that is for the future to decide, but I have to get on with my life as best I can or I shall wither away and die. There may be a nutter waiting for me round the next corner, but he would probably pick on me however I was dressed, and I can not compromise my needs for fear of what might happen. Otherwise I will be dead anyway. To all you girls who have told me that you’d like to go shopping dressed but are not ready for it, I say yes you are, because no-one is bothered by it, it’s no big deal, and it’s a damn sight easier than shopping in drab. If there are people out there who have a problem with the likes of us then they need educating; pretending you don’t exist will not help anyone, you or them. At last in my life I feel like I really exist, and it feels good. Without this I am nothing and no-one; with it I am virtually complete, and very happy.
    Aug 16, 2004 443
  • 09 Aug 2004
    Nadia wins Big Brother, Lucy wins Big Sister Well I did it, I told my friend Ann about me. Do I feel different? No not really, but I’m glad it’s out of the way. It wasn’t easy. We had a quick bite to eat and sat down in front of the telly, we both wanted to watch the final of Big Brother. It was on for most of the night, but I didn’t want to wait until the end before telling her. I’d avoided preparing a script, in fact had been trying to avoid thinking about it at all for the past 24 hours, but this left me not knowing where to start. How could I say it? I couldn’t just blurt out, "I’m a transsexual!" As we watched Big Brother, commenting on the contestants I groped for words in my head, trying to find a starting point. Ann asked me who I wanted to win, I said that a large part of me wanted Nadia to win. (In case you haven’t read the last blog or seen Big Brother, Nadia is a post-op transsexual). Ann agreed that she would like to see Nadia win, but also liked Dan a great deal. I hoped she’d ask me to clarify what large part it was exactly, but I guess I was still being too subtle. My heart was starting to pound, I had to get this over with, and having Nadia there on screen had to be some sort of help. A couple of minutes later I said that actually I was biased wanting Nadia to win. She sat up and took note at that, obviously it was less subtle. "Why…?" Emotion was starting to get the better of me, my voice cracked slightly but I held it together. "That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. It’s because, I’m like her". She stared at me half blankly, half in disbelief, apparently speechless, so I continued. "It’s something that’s been with me all my life and I’ve kept hidden from most people". She put her arms around me and hugged me, I couldn’t have asked for anything more. "Ohh, love", she said, squeezing gently. I felt slightly better. She was now struggling to find her own words so I went on to tell her that it was ok, it wasn’t a bad thing and I was happy within myself. I then explained about the developments of the last few months and how this had changed me and was really the reason for me wanting to tell her now. Gradually she began to ask questions, and all the right ones. She seemed to have a good understanding of transgenderism in general, considering she had never met anyone like that (or so she thought). It was all a shock to her though, or at least a very big surprise. In the Big Brother interval I took her upstairs to show her some pictures. Her eyes were glued to the screen and she made a silly comment about me making a better woman than she did; not true of course. She didn’t really give too much away but I don’t think she thought I was hideous. Of course it was a lot for her to take in, she had absolutely no inkling, but I’m so glad that she handled it so well. In my heart, I knew she would not really think any less of me, and I’m sure she will continue to stand by me as she always has. In fact she rang me the next morning to reassure me that she still loved me and wouldn’t desert me because of it. In a strange way I now feel it’s her that needs my help, she’s the one who needs to talk it through. Or maybe that’s just me wanting to be sure that she understands it fully. A few people have asked me things like, will you dress for her, can you borrow her clothes now, will you go shopping with her? No, no and no. That’s not what it’s about. She’s one of my closest friends, and I wanted her to know the truth. At the moment I feel that it will make no difference to our relationship. As I said to her, "I am still me, you just know me a bit better now". I feel she has a right to know who I really am, and I’m glad I’ve told her. Ann, thanks for being you. xx
    436 Posted by Lucy Diamond
  • Nadia wins Big Brother, Lucy wins Big Sister Well I did it, I told my friend Ann about me. Do I feel different? No not really, but I’m glad it’s out of the way. It wasn’t easy. We had a quick bite to eat and sat down in front of the telly, we both wanted to watch the final of Big Brother. It was on for most of the night, but I didn’t want to wait until the end before telling her. I’d avoided preparing a script, in fact had been trying to avoid thinking about it at all for the past 24 hours, but this left me not knowing where to start. How could I say it? I couldn’t just blurt out, "I’m a transsexual!" As we watched Big Brother, commenting on the contestants I groped for words in my head, trying to find a starting point. Ann asked me who I wanted to win, I said that a large part of me wanted Nadia to win. (In case you haven’t read the last blog or seen Big Brother, Nadia is a post-op transsexual). Ann agreed that she would like to see Nadia win, but also liked Dan a great deal. I hoped she’d ask me to clarify what large part it was exactly, but I guess I was still being too subtle. My heart was starting to pound, I had to get this over with, and having Nadia there on screen had to be some sort of help. A couple of minutes later I said that actually I was biased wanting Nadia to win. She sat up and took note at that, obviously it was less subtle. "Why…?" Emotion was starting to get the better of me, my voice cracked slightly but I held it together. "That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. It’s because, I’m like her". She stared at me half blankly, half in disbelief, apparently speechless, so I continued. "It’s something that’s been with me all my life and I’ve kept hidden from most people". She put her arms around me and hugged me, I couldn’t have asked for anything more. "Ohh, love", she said, squeezing gently. I felt slightly better. She was now struggling to find her own words so I went on to tell her that it was ok, it wasn’t a bad thing and I was happy within myself. I then explained about the developments of the last few months and how this had changed me and was really the reason for me wanting to tell her now. Gradually she began to ask questions, and all the right ones. She seemed to have a good understanding of transgenderism in general, considering she had never met anyone like that (or so she thought). It was all a shock to her though, or at least a very big surprise. In the Big Brother interval I took her upstairs to show her some pictures. Her eyes were glued to the screen and she made a silly comment about me making a better woman than she did; not true of course. She didn’t really give too much away but I don’t think she thought I was hideous. Of course it was a lot for her to take in, she had absolutely no inkling, but I’m so glad that she handled it so well. In my heart, I knew she would not really think any less of me, and I’m sure she will continue to stand by me as she always has. In fact she rang me the next morning to reassure me that she still loved me and wouldn’t desert me because of it. In a strange way I now feel it’s her that needs my help, she’s the one who needs to talk it through. Or maybe that’s just me wanting to be sure that she understands it fully. A few people have asked me things like, will you dress for her, can you borrow her clothes now, will you go shopping with her? No, no and no. That’s not what it’s about. She’s one of my closest friends, and I wanted her to know the truth. At the moment I feel that it will make no difference to our relationship. As I said to her, "I am still me, you just know me a bit better now". I feel she has a right to know who I really am, and I’m glad I’ve told her. Ann, thanks for being you. xx
    Aug 09, 2004 436
  • 06 Aug 2004
    Deep breaths Lucy... I went round to a friend's last night for a take-away and a dvd. (Minority Report, ok but a bit disappointing, the Chinese was yummy though). It's a girl I've known for many years and certainly my greatest female friend for just about as many. For some time though I feel like I've been holding something back from her, now I wonder what that could be... Yet again though, I just don't know how to tell her about me, the time didn't seem right and I do worry about inflicting such consternation on someone who has been such a dear friend for so long. Perhaps it is my insecure side that questions whether she would think any less of me, or at least see me in a different light. But in a way that's what I want; the way she sees me, or the way I try to put myself across is not the way I am and I'd like her to know me for who I really am, and hopefully, still love me. I am actually finding it harder to put myself across in that way though, blokey i mean. Ok, I've never been macho, gone out with the lads, and never tried to hide my sensitive nature, but since April when I started going out dressed, Lucy's traits have started appearing more and more in day to day life. For example I find myself walking down the street a bit like John Inman and have to kick myself in case anyone who knows me sees me, and wonders how I have become so camp, I must be gay or something they will think, after all I haven't had a girlfriend for a long time... I even flirted with the taxi driver last night, who was rather cute. I was convinced my friend, I'll call her Ann, would at least notice my nails which are now quite long and nicely shaped, cuticles pushed back. She's commented on my hair getting longer but it's been as long in the past so no big deal. I thought she might notice my posture, less slouchy, better poise, and generally more effeminate. I wondered if she would see any significance in the way I talked about Nadia, the transsexual currently on Big Brother. (I was equally supportive of Dana International, the TS who won the Eurovision song contest some years back, I just can't help dropping hints). But maybe she just sees me as she has always done, non-macho, loving and hopefully a nice person. Anyway as the night progressed and the wine flowed i found my hints becoming less subtle, and eventually I said I'd like the chance to talk more about myself, there were things I wanted to share with her, and even that she may be shocked. So I asked her to dinner tonight at my place and of course she was happy to accept. She was lovely as ever, didn't push it (I would want to know straight away what it was all about if someone said that to me, maybe she knows, maybe my hints were not at all subtle). I have to tell her now, there's no going back. I can't bottle out, I've dug a hole and made my bed in it. I have no idea how I will go about it, but I'm trying my best not to worry about the consequences. I'm trying, but.... Oh my god what have I done...?
    438 Posted by Lucy Diamond
  • Deep breaths Lucy... I went round to a friend's last night for a take-away and a dvd. (Minority Report, ok but a bit disappointing, the Chinese was yummy though). It's a girl I've known for many years and certainly my greatest female friend for just about as many. For some time though I feel like I've been holding something back from her, now I wonder what that could be... Yet again though, I just don't know how to tell her about me, the time didn't seem right and I do worry about inflicting such consternation on someone who has been such a dear friend for so long. Perhaps it is my insecure side that questions whether she would think any less of me, or at least see me in a different light. But in a way that's what I want; the way she sees me, or the way I try to put myself across is not the way I am and I'd like her to know me for who I really am, and hopefully, still love me. I am actually finding it harder to put myself across in that way though, blokey i mean. Ok, I've never been macho, gone out with the lads, and never tried to hide my sensitive nature, but since April when I started going out dressed, Lucy's traits have started appearing more and more in day to day life. For example I find myself walking down the street a bit like John Inman and have to kick myself in case anyone who knows me sees me, and wonders how I have become so camp, I must be gay or something they will think, after all I haven't had a girlfriend for a long time... I even flirted with the taxi driver last night, who was rather cute. I was convinced my friend, I'll call her Ann, would at least notice my nails which are now quite long and nicely shaped, cuticles pushed back. She's commented on my hair getting longer but it's been as long in the past so no big deal. I thought she might notice my posture, less slouchy, better poise, and generally more effeminate. I wondered if she would see any significance in the way I talked about Nadia, the transsexual currently on Big Brother. (I was equally supportive of Dana International, the TS who won the Eurovision song contest some years back, I just can't help dropping hints). But maybe she just sees me as she has always done, non-macho, loving and hopefully a nice person. Anyway as the night progressed and the wine flowed i found my hints becoming less subtle, and eventually I said I'd like the chance to talk more about myself, there were things I wanted to share with her, and even that she may be shocked. So I asked her to dinner tonight at my place and of course she was happy to accept. She was lovely as ever, didn't push it (I would want to know straight away what it was all about if someone said that to me, maybe she knows, maybe my hints were not at all subtle). I have to tell her now, there's no going back. I can't bottle out, I've dug a hole and made my bed in it. I have no idea how I will go about it, but I'm trying my best not to worry about the consequences. I'm trying, but.... Oh my god what have I done...?
    Aug 06, 2004 438
  • 02 Aug 2004
    First time for everything Saturday night, back at the village, Rebecca’s first time out. I was dressed, I was out, I was with friends, and I was drinking vodka so I was quadrupley happy. Becky seemed happy too, in fact she did brilliantly as I knew she would. I think she wants to do it again so that must be a good sign. Annette came too on Saturday and very kindly did Becky’s make up – good job babe, well done, and my darling sister Pippa was also there, it wouldn’t be the same without her. The village was very busy again, and it was another warm evening so Canal Street was packed with people. We seemed to attract quite a bit of attention, though I’m sure that wasn’t all down to the dress I was wearing which was not entirely subtle, rather daring for me in fact. Annette actually gave it to me on the night (thanks babe you’re an angel) and had warned me that I’d have to be very confident to wear it, as it was considerably see-through. Indeed it was and I wished I’d had something sexier to wear underneath, but a stiff vodka was all the confidence I needed and on it went. Pippa wore her gorgeous flowery dress with Chinese neckline (the one I’m wearing in the "Lucy and Pippa’s girly night in" pics) and mine was black stretch-lace also with a Chinese neckline so we were vaguely co-ordinated. I’ve posted a couple of pics in my album of me in my new dress. Both were taken at the end of the night so I was rather worse for wear, but not too bad. I was a little better behaved throughout the evening, but only a little. I even turned down 2 or 3 admirers in Napoleon’s who wanted a snog, which I thought was rather demure of me, but I’d spent so long touching up my lippy that I didn’t want them messing it up again. All in all it was a brilliant night and I don’t have long to wait before I’m back there, as it’s the Trannyweb night out a week on Wednesday which of course I’m really looking forward to. More girls to meet and I believe one or two for whom it will be their first night out. It’s lovely to see that, girls finally getting out, as I know how good it can be for the soul. Hopefully Becky has found that too. Well there’s more to come Becky, it just gets better, and you’re going to meet a lot of lovely sisters at the Trannyweb bash. Hee hee, just wait until she gets herself to a Transmission night, eh girls?!
    460 Posted by Lucy Diamond
  • First time for everything Saturday night, back at the village, Rebecca’s first time out. I was dressed, I was out, I was with friends, and I was drinking vodka so I was quadrupley happy. Becky seemed happy too, in fact she did brilliantly as I knew she would. I think she wants to do it again so that must be a good sign. Annette came too on Saturday and very kindly did Becky’s make up – good job babe, well done, and my darling sister Pippa was also there, it wouldn’t be the same without her. The village was very busy again, and it was another warm evening so Canal Street was packed with people. We seemed to attract quite a bit of attention, though I’m sure that wasn’t all down to the dress I was wearing which was not entirely subtle, rather daring for me in fact. Annette actually gave it to me on the night (thanks babe you’re an angel) and had warned me that I’d have to be very confident to wear it, as it was considerably see-through. Indeed it was and I wished I’d had something sexier to wear underneath, but a stiff vodka was all the confidence I needed and on it went. Pippa wore her gorgeous flowery dress with Chinese neckline (the one I’m wearing in the "Lucy and Pippa’s girly night in" pics) and mine was black stretch-lace also with a Chinese neckline so we were vaguely co-ordinated. I’ve posted a couple of pics in my album of me in my new dress. Both were taken at the end of the night so I was rather worse for wear, but not too bad. I was a little better behaved throughout the evening, but only a little. I even turned down 2 or 3 admirers in Napoleon’s who wanted a snog, which I thought was rather demure of me, but I’d spent so long touching up my lippy that I didn’t want them messing it up again. All in all it was a brilliant night and I don’t have long to wait before I’m back there, as it’s the Trannyweb night out a week on Wednesday which of course I’m really looking forward to. More girls to meet and I believe one or two for whom it will be their first night out. It’s lovely to see that, girls finally getting out, as I know how good it can be for the soul. Hopefully Becky has found that too. Well there’s more to come Becky, it just gets better, and you’re going to meet a lot of lovely sisters at the Trannyweb bash. Hee hee, just wait until she gets herself to a Transmission night, eh girls?!
    Aug 02, 2004 460
  • 27 Jul 2004
    New friends, old enemies My brother has been up to visit for the weekend, something which I don’t especially look forward to. It means I have to go out to the pub with him and pretend to be blokey, not my favourite pastime. Inevitably he always tells me I’ve been on my own too long and I should get a girlfriend and I should go out more. If only he knew about my girlfriends and my jaunts down to London and Manchester. Would the shock silence him, or would he just give me a hard time for living this ridiculous crazy life? No doubt he would tell me I’m not transgendered, I only think I am, and I shouldn’t do this it’s not good for me blah blah. He’d be wrong of course, and he’d be in for an earful if tried to tell me what’s best for me here. It annoys me when people try to tell me what’s best for me. What they are really telling me is what would be best for themselves if they were in my situation, but they’re not me, nor are they in my situation. It all comes back to my philosophy – be yourself, express yourself the way you feel you need to. To deny your true feelings will only bring you torment. For someone to tell me that I should "be" a different person, that I shouldn’t behave the way I choose to, is utterly ridiculous. I’ve learnt that when my family start going down that route, telling me what’s best, it’s simplest just to back down and agree with them at least to a certain extent; not easy to do when they’re talking nonsense but it avoids any unnecessary arguments. It’s a battle I can’t win as long as they don’t know the truth about me, so it’s pointless trying to fight it without being able to use the proper ammunition, ie who I am and why I need to live my life this way. If they did know about me, they could fight me all they want; I would never back down, and they wouldn’t stand a chance. I’m not at war with any of my family, it’s just that while we were down the pub last night I was told who I should be, where I should go, who my friends should be and what I should do with my life. Ridiculous. So there, I just had to get that off my chest. So anyway I thought it was going to be a pretty drab and dreary weekend, but you know, living this life can be full of surprises. After meeting the other Lucy the other week, her girlfriend, Annette started chatting to me and Pippa online. I was lucky enough to have Saturday night to myself as my brother had arranged to meet an old friend of his, so got chatting to Annette & Lucy again. They invited me down to Manchester for the night, it was very tempting but after a long family lunch I’d had too much wine to drive, so I invited them to come to me. They agreed, and I was thrilled, despite having to cram a week’s housework into an hour and a half. Lucy arrived (and left) dressed, but I hadn’t had time to do my make-up so Annette very kindly did for me. My weekend instantly felt much better with a rather lovely young girl gently applying foundation to my face. Mmm, I do like being pampered. They also brought their 3 year-old daughter, Katie (real cute), who played at our feet whilst I was made up. When I was finished I asked Katie if I looked better and she agreed that I did. I admire the openness that Annette and Lucy have with Katie, it seems to be doing her good, she is such a sweet child, and surely will grow up into a well-balanced individual with none of the society-induced irrational fears that so many of my generation have towards the transgendered, indeed towards anyone who is not in their eyes "normal". So respect to you, Annette and Lucy. I told them about Trannyweb and they both joined the next day, so there you go – they must be sound people. New friends, and such lovely people. It’s nice to know you girls. xxx
    438 Posted by Lucy Diamond
  • New friends, old enemies My brother has been up to visit for the weekend, something which I don’t especially look forward to. It means I have to go out to the pub with him and pretend to be blokey, not my favourite pastime. Inevitably he always tells me I’ve been on my own too long and I should get a girlfriend and I should go out more. If only he knew about my girlfriends and my jaunts down to London and Manchester. Would the shock silence him, or would he just give me a hard time for living this ridiculous crazy life? No doubt he would tell me I’m not transgendered, I only think I am, and I shouldn’t do this it’s not good for me blah blah. He’d be wrong of course, and he’d be in for an earful if tried to tell me what’s best for me here. It annoys me when people try to tell me what’s best for me. What they are really telling me is what would be best for themselves if they were in my situation, but they’re not me, nor are they in my situation. It all comes back to my philosophy – be yourself, express yourself the way you feel you need to. To deny your true feelings will only bring you torment. For someone to tell me that I should "be" a different person, that I shouldn’t behave the way I choose to, is utterly ridiculous. I’ve learnt that when my family start going down that route, telling me what’s best, it’s simplest just to back down and agree with them at least to a certain extent; not easy to do when they’re talking nonsense but it avoids any unnecessary arguments. It’s a battle I can’t win as long as they don’t know the truth about me, so it’s pointless trying to fight it without being able to use the proper ammunition, ie who I am and why I need to live my life this way. If they did know about me, they could fight me all they want; I would never back down, and they wouldn’t stand a chance. I’m not at war with any of my family, it’s just that while we were down the pub last night I was told who I should be, where I should go, who my friends should be and what I should do with my life. Ridiculous. So there, I just had to get that off my chest. So anyway I thought it was going to be a pretty drab and dreary weekend, but you know, living this life can be full of surprises. After meeting the other Lucy the other week, her girlfriend, Annette started chatting to me and Pippa online. I was lucky enough to have Saturday night to myself as my brother had arranged to meet an old friend of his, so got chatting to Annette & Lucy again. They invited me down to Manchester for the night, it was very tempting but after a long family lunch I’d had too much wine to drive, so I invited them to come to me. They agreed, and I was thrilled, despite having to cram a week’s housework into an hour and a half. Lucy arrived (and left) dressed, but I hadn’t had time to do my make-up so Annette very kindly did for me. My weekend instantly felt much better with a rather lovely young girl gently applying foundation to my face. Mmm, I do like being pampered. They also brought their 3 year-old daughter, Katie (real cute), who played at our feet whilst I was made up. When I was finished I asked Katie if I looked better and she agreed that I did. I admire the openness that Annette and Lucy have with Katie, it seems to be doing her good, she is such a sweet child, and surely will grow up into a well-balanced individual with none of the society-induced irrational fears that so many of my generation have towards the transgendered, indeed towards anyone who is not in their eyes "normal". So respect to you, Annette and Lucy. I told them about Trannyweb and they both joined the next day, so there you go – they must be sound people. New friends, and such lovely people. It’s nice to know you girls. xxx
    Jul 27, 2004 438
  • 21 Jul 2004
    Another stroll by the canal - some gentle exorcise I met up with Pippa again on Saturday, we went to the village for a night out, following our quiet night in the week before. Pippa is a lovely girl, great company and fun to be with. I on the other hand am an outrageously flirty vodka fuelled tranny from hell. I’m not really, but I was tending towards that on Saturday. I am by nature a very quiet person, but after the various frustrations of the last few weeks I think I needed to get loud, let off some steam, let my hair down. I succeeded in all of these, and as a result, I do actually feel calmer, back to my old self, like some demons have been exorcised. I do hope I didn’t give Pippa too much of a fright in the process. It was wonderful to be out again, back in the village, with which I’m now becoming quite familiar. As soon as we got out I somehow felt, closer to the world. A few steps up the street and I was smiling and saying hello to passing strangers. The driver of a stationary tram ponked his horn at us with a knowing, "Evening girls!" through his window and a big warm smile on his face. I waved at him and gave him my sweetest smile in return, at which his smile broadened even more. Definitely an admirer. Round the corner and into Canal Street, the place was buzzing. It was a nice evening and the street was packed with people. We went to Vanilla first, a lesbian bar, and come to think of it, the place where Pippa and I first set eyes on each other. It was busier tonight, about 95% female in the room I’d say. About 50% could be described as stereotypical lesbians, ultra short hair, studs in various places, big biceps with tattoos. God I felt girly, considering I was in a room full of women. I wondered if we went to a gay bar would they all be wearing leather caps, shorts, and dangling chains, but no, there were none of those. Plenty of gays of course, as you’d expect in a gay village, and lots of admirers too. Well, enough for us to be going on with. Got chatted up by one in particular, Jason, quite a hunky chap. I made it quite clear to him from the start that I wasn’t really interested in anything other than conversation (he was nice, but not that nice), and he seemed to appreciate that in a very genuine way. I also made it clear that I enjoyed a bit of flirting and he seemed to appreciate that even more. Pippa, if you ever publish that picture of me talking to him with lipstick smudged all over my face I will beat you to death with my handbag, or at least never speak to you again. God what a mess. Thank-you for pointing it out to me though, despite taking a picture of it first. We met a nice couple later on, another t-girl called Lucy and her ggf. Both were very friendly so we had a few drinks and a good chat together. They were great fun. All in all it was a lovely night, and somehow felt like a big release, but I really should tone down the flirtatiousness (don’t tell me not to; it’s going to get me into trouble one of these days). I mean, I should at least stop accosting people in the street, asking everyone’s name and suchlike. I have been feeling like a caged animal recently though and I think this was just me needing to go a little crazy, having just set myself free. I feel more human now, not trapped, or frustrated, and not an animal. Sweet little Lucy once more, still finding her feet, but footholds getting stronger all the time. I think these new shoes are just about broken in now too. Pippa, I must say this here because I want everyone to know how good you’ve been for me. I am so grateful for you being there for me and looking after me. I love you dearly and I know it must have been scary to find yourself out with the tranny from hell, but thanks for putting up with me, for being sensible, and always loving. We’ll be out again a week on Saturday, even if I have to use force to get Pip to go out with me again. But this time we’re meeting Rebecca, her first time out. No doubt most of you have read her blog, she’s counting the seconds, just as I was before my first time. So I’ll have to behave myself, it’s important to me that she feels comfortable and relaxed, and not wondering what she’s let herself in for with some crazy t-girl snogging anything that moves. No, lesson one shall be how not to smudge your lipstick. Don’t worry about a thing Becky, the caged animal set free has had her mad half-hour, and knows exactly what this means to you. You will be well looked after. You’re going to love it babe, I know you are. And so am I.
    406 Posted by Lucy Diamond
  • Another stroll by the canal - some gentle exorcise I met up with Pippa again on Saturday, we went to the village for a night out, following our quiet night in the week before. Pippa is a lovely girl, great company and fun to be with. I on the other hand am an outrageously flirty vodka fuelled tranny from hell. I’m not really, but I was tending towards that on Saturday. I am by nature a very quiet person, but after the various frustrations of the last few weeks I think I needed to get loud, let off some steam, let my hair down. I succeeded in all of these, and as a result, I do actually feel calmer, back to my old self, like some demons have been exorcised. I do hope I didn’t give Pippa too much of a fright in the process. It was wonderful to be out again, back in the village, with which I’m now becoming quite familiar. As soon as we got out I somehow felt, closer to the world. A few steps up the street and I was smiling and saying hello to passing strangers. The driver of a stationary tram ponked his horn at us with a knowing, "Evening girls!" through his window and a big warm smile on his face. I waved at him and gave him my sweetest smile in return, at which his smile broadened even more. Definitely an admirer. Round the corner and into Canal Street, the place was buzzing. It was a nice evening and the street was packed with people. We went to Vanilla first, a lesbian bar, and come to think of it, the place where Pippa and I first set eyes on each other. It was busier tonight, about 95% female in the room I’d say. About 50% could be described as stereotypical lesbians, ultra short hair, studs in various places, big biceps with tattoos. God I felt girly, considering I was in a room full of women. I wondered if we went to a gay bar would they all be wearing leather caps, shorts, and dangling chains, but no, there were none of those. Plenty of gays of course, as you’d expect in a gay village, and lots of admirers too. Well, enough for us to be going on with. Got chatted up by one in particular, Jason, quite a hunky chap. I made it quite clear to him from the start that I wasn’t really interested in anything other than conversation (he was nice, but not that nice), and he seemed to appreciate that in a very genuine way. I also made it clear that I enjoyed a bit of flirting and he seemed to appreciate that even more. Pippa, if you ever publish that picture of me talking to him with lipstick smudged all over my face I will beat you to death with my handbag, or at least never speak to you again. God what a mess. Thank-you for pointing it out to me though, despite taking a picture of it first. We met a nice couple later on, another t-girl called Lucy and her ggf. Both were very friendly so we had a few drinks and a good chat together. They were great fun. All in all it was a lovely night, and somehow felt like a big release, but I really should tone down the flirtatiousness (don’t tell me not to; it’s going to get me into trouble one of these days). I mean, I should at least stop accosting people in the street, asking everyone’s name and suchlike. I have been feeling like a caged animal recently though and I think this was just me needing to go a little crazy, having just set myself free. I feel more human now, not trapped, or frustrated, and not an animal. Sweet little Lucy once more, still finding her feet, but footholds getting stronger all the time. I think these new shoes are just about broken in now too. Pippa, I must say this here because I want everyone to know how good you’ve been for me. I am so grateful for you being there for me and looking after me. I love you dearly and I know it must have been scary to find yourself out with the tranny from hell, but thanks for putting up with me, for being sensible, and always loving. We’ll be out again a week on Saturday, even if I have to use force to get Pip to go out with me again. But this time we’re meeting Rebecca, her first time out. No doubt most of you have read her blog, she’s counting the seconds, just as I was before my first time. So I’ll have to behave myself, it’s important to me that she feels comfortable and relaxed, and not wondering what she’s let herself in for with some crazy t-girl snogging anything that moves. No, lesson one shall be how not to smudge your lipstick. Don’t worry about a thing Becky, the caged animal set free has had her mad half-hour, and knows exactly what this means to you. You will be well looked after. You’re going to love it babe, I know you are. And so am I.
    Jul 21, 2004 406
  • 14 Jul 2004
    Angel of the North I often feel blogging helps me to work through my feelings and emotions. Since Friday my emotions have been too all over the place to even do that. It feels like I have been spinning plates on sticks and they are slowly coming to rest, all at different times. So many emotional plates spinning at once, difficult to deal with any one in particular, but I think I’ve caught them all now, before any fell off and broke. I left my job at the weekend. I told you I’d had a bad day on Friday didn’t I. Well it wasn’t just a one-off, the job just didn’t suit me and it had been getting me down for some time. All other aspects of my life seem to have improved dramatically over the last few months, but this part was getting steadily worse, and it had to go. I don’t want to go into too many details, it would only bore you to bits anyway, but there are various complications that came with the job, and leaving wasn’t an easy decision to make. But I am taking control of my life now, whereas before I allowed myself to be controlled by whatever was going on around me, and I have to do this for me. It’s a positive step, and though I’m not sure in which direction, I know it’s not backwards, and I certainly can’t stand still anymore in a place I don’t want to be. I have enough savings to be able to pay the bills for a few months, so I’m not going to rush into the first dead-end job I can get. Oh no. I’ve spent many years of my life being a starving musician, or at least a little peckish, so maybe I’ll try that again for a while, who knows.All that has caused quite a few inner conflicts, which left me spinning, as well as the plates, but it wasn't all bad last weekend, for an angel appeared unto me and spaketh: "Hiya Luce, how you doing babe?" she said, in a strange, slightly Liverpudlian accent. For behold, ‘twas the Angel Pippa who had descended from St. Heavens to bring me a message of great joy. And a few nice dresses to try on too. What a night we had. First time I’d had a girlfriend over, first time I’d got dressed and made-up at home and not been on my own. It was verging on a religious experience. We talked and talked about anything and everything, and largely about all things girly. Pippa painted my nails, we swapped our best dresses, it was lovely. We drank Champagne (birthday present – waiting for a special occasion), and Australian Chardonnay (oaky, with a hint of vanilla), and of course vodka and cokes! I cooked us risotto with bacon and asparagus, served with a green salad. (Is anyone jealous yet?!) We took lots of pics (see new album), curled up on the sofa, went for a walk up the road at about 3 in the morning, waving at the occasional car as they passed. Well I waved anyway. I shouldn’t be so flirty, at least not to passing traffic in the middle of the night; one lorry slowed right down after I waved, and who can blame him? Two gorgeous, slightly tipsy girls in lovely dresses… Fortunately he didn’t stop, and we didn’t have to run home in our heels. It was a super night, and I’m so grateful to my angelic sister Pippa for making the journey to be with me. I hope you felt suitably pampered Pip, I know I did. It was simply the best night I’ve ever had in my own home. Wild rock and roll parties do not compare to a quiet girly night in with your best friend/sister/angel. It made me really happy, and that got me through the difficult inner conflicts that I had to deal with for the rest of the weekend. I know I wouldn’t have been able to cope so well had my spirits not been so uplifted, so thank you Pip just for being yourself, and for doing so at Lucy’s house.  
    406 Posted by Lucy Diamond
  • Angel of the North I often feel blogging helps me to work through my feelings and emotions. Since Friday my emotions have been too all over the place to even do that. It feels like I have been spinning plates on sticks and they are slowly coming to rest, all at different times. So many emotional plates spinning at once, difficult to deal with any one in particular, but I think I’ve caught them all now, before any fell off and broke. I left my job at the weekend. I told you I’d had a bad day on Friday didn’t I. Well it wasn’t just a one-off, the job just didn’t suit me and it had been getting me down for some time. All other aspects of my life seem to have improved dramatically over the last few months, but this part was getting steadily worse, and it had to go. I don’t want to go into too many details, it would only bore you to bits anyway, but there are various complications that came with the job, and leaving wasn’t an easy decision to make. But I am taking control of my life now, whereas before I allowed myself to be controlled by whatever was going on around me, and I have to do this for me. It’s a positive step, and though I’m not sure in which direction, I know it’s not backwards, and I certainly can’t stand still anymore in a place I don’t want to be. I have enough savings to be able to pay the bills for a few months, so I’m not going to rush into the first dead-end job I can get. Oh no. I’ve spent many years of my life being a starving musician, or at least a little peckish, so maybe I’ll try that again for a while, who knows.All that has caused quite a few inner conflicts, which left me spinning, as well as the plates, but it wasn't all bad last weekend, for an angel appeared unto me and spaketh: "Hiya Luce, how you doing babe?" she said, in a strange, slightly Liverpudlian accent. For behold, ‘twas the Angel Pippa who had descended from St. Heavens to bring me a message of great joy. And a few nice dresses to try on too. What a night we had. First time I’d had a girlfriend over, first time I’d got dressed and made-up at home and not been on my own. It was verging on a religious experience. We talked and talked about anything and everything, and largely about all things girly. Pippa painted my nails, we swapped our best dresses, it was lovely. We drank Champagne (birthday present – waiting for a special occasion), and Australian Chardonnay (oaky, with a hint of vanilla), and of course vodka and cokes! I cooked us risotto with bacon and asparagus, served with a green salad. (Is anyone jealous yet?!) We took lots of pics (see new album), curled up on the sofa, went for a walk up the road at about 3 in the morning, waving at the occasional car as they passed. Well I waved anyway. I shouldn’t be so flirty, at least not to passing traffic in the middle of the night; one lorry slowed right down after I waved, and who can blame him? Two gorgeous, slightly tipsy girls in lovely dresses… Fortunately he didn’t stop, and we didn’t have to run home in our heels. It was a super night, and I’m so grateful to my angelic sister Pippa for making the journey to be with me. I hope you felt suitably pampered Pip, I know I did. It was simply the best night I’ve ever had in my own home. Wild rock and roll parties do not compare to a quiet girly night in with your best friend/sister/angel. It made me really happy, and that got me through the difficult inner conflicts that I had to deal with for the rest of the weekend. I know I wouldn’t have been able to cope so well had my spirits not been so uplifted, so thank you Pip just for being yourself, and for doing so at Lucy’s house.  
    Jul 14, 2004 406