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  • 25 Jan 2015
    So, I decided that after doing as much research as I could on the world wide web that I would try to minimize my beard using laser treatments. Why not electrolysis you ask? Electrolysis is a very slow process that can take years to accomplish. Lasers are quicker, less painful, in my opinion and depending on your indivdual needs may only take a few months to send all your facial hair packing. Why am I in such a big hurry? Hell, I'm older that dirt, I want this done ASAP So I located a reputable physician that does that type of work and set up an appointment. I arrived at the appropriate time and was ushered into a room with a very comfortable looking recliner that had the aforementioned laser sitting next to it. The doctor came in introduced herself and we played 20 questions while she determined what my long term goals were how she could help me reach them. After which she explained how the laser worked and how effective it is. I had to wear the same type of gogle that you wear in a tanning booth over my eyes. Then we began the treatment itself. The best way I can describe the sensation is it feels very much like a rubber band being snapped agaist your skin all over your face where there is evidence of a beard. Certainly not painful. Well, it was a little painful around my mouth and on my upper lip. The entire treatment lasted about 5 minutes maximum. There was a slight odor of burnt hair that lasted about 24 hours. Immedately after the treatment was finished, She handed me a mirror and it look like I had just gotten a little bit of a sunburn. That went away in about an hour. We scheduled my next treatment in 4 weeks to do it all again. There is a 4 week waiting period between treatments. I can honestly say that it's been a week since the treatment and I can see and feel a difference in the amount and the density of my beard all over my face. IT'S ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!! An added benefit that I hadn't considered was that the same clinic also offered laser tattoo removal! When I was young and stupid, I ran with a street gang in my home town of Chicago. Part of my "initiation" required that I get tattoos on my left hand and arm that identified me as a member to all the other members of the gang. The older I got,  the more I hated them. They offered to treat them for me while I was there and at very little cost. So, I was put in another room with a different type of laser and given some orange glasses to wear. The doctor came in and did the treatment which lasted about a minute for the 3 tattoos I wanted removed. there was very little pain associated with the treatment. The most amazing things as one minute they were there and right after the treatment they were GONE!!! It was the most amazing thing ever! It was like she waved a magic wand and they disappeared! She said that it might be necessary to have one more treatment to complete get rid of them. She's right, a week after I can still see a little of the tattoos and I can't wait to get rid of them completely! What a day! I am still very excited and believe that laser treatments are the way to go!
    1889 Posted by Marissa Mallo, News Hound
  • 25 Jul 2014
    Well, I came out ot work today to the HR person. It was unbeleiveably hard to start the conversation. I was on the verge of hyperventilating. It was almost like an out of body experience where I was outside myself while I was talking to her. Maybe that fact the she was a woman made it a little easier but it was still one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I know I shouldn't think that all women will be that accepting. That would be like saying that all mtf transexuals desire men. She was very accepting and supportive. I was so relieved and overhwhelmed that we both ended up crying before it was over. I can't beleive I screwed up the courage to do this. Every small step brings me closer to the person I know I want do be. I hope my writing this will help someone else find their voice.
    1193 Posted by Marissa Mallo, News Hound
  • 11 Mar 2014
    While I'm sure what I say is not an epiphany for anyone, it may give you an idea of who I am and how I arrived at long last with all of you here. I knew I was different at age 4. I knew I was much happier playing with girls than I was with the boys. I broke my mother's heart when I asked for an easy bake oven for Christmas when I was 6. Because my mother wasn't sure what to do she chose physical aggression and verbal assault as her means of communicating with me. This should have put a stop to my errant behavior but it didn't. It did make me wonder what was wrong with me. So I prayed.. I asked god to make me a girl or make me accept who I was. No answers ever came. I did everything I knew to avoid feeling like I was broken but nothing worked long term. Oh, I might be ok for a bit but in the end the feeling that I wasn't right would overwhelm me.
    1181 Posted by Marissa Mallo, News Hound
  • 24 Dec 2014
    So this is Christmas.   My Grateful List:   1. i'm grateful i found this place and that you all have been so kind to me. 2. i'm grateful that I see a little bit more of marissa every day when i look in the mirror. 3. i'm grateful for the roof over my head and the food i eat. 4. i'm grateful for my ugly grrrrls and for the love they show me no matter what. 5. i'm grateful that just maybe sometime soon, i might be the person i have always been inside. 6. i'm grateful for the support of my friends who love me warts and all.   some other thoughts...   my profession taught me long ago that people's live can change forver in a matter of seconds... that terrible things happen to good people...   People may know that you love them uncondtionally but they still need to hear from you...   Never walk out the door without telling the people that you love that you love them...   Never go to bed angry...   Never say things in anger that you will regret later. The people you love will remember your words long after they have forgotten your apology...   Do the right things...even when no one is looking.   Don't undermine your partner in front of your children...   Always remember that your kids learn what they live...   An ounce of tolerance can go a long, long way...   No one expects you to be perfect, you shouldn't either...   I truly hope that all your Christmas wishes are answered. Thank you for allowing me to be here and to be with you all. I wish you all the best today and always.
    1015 Posted by Marissa Mallo, News Hound
1,480 views Nov 06, 2014
Am I really a girl doctor or just nucking futs?

Well, here's that update I warned you about. Had my first meeting with my gender specialist. I like her a lot and she's one of the few gender specialist in Indiana. We actually had a video conference instead of my driving all the way to the other end of the state to meet her face to face. Her end of the video feed was great. My end, she said, not so much. I guess it was tough for her to see me at all (maybe a blessing in disquiseSurprised). She asked me why I thought might be transgendered rather than just a garden variety crossdresser. When I told her that I first knew there was something "wrong" with me at age 4 and that I had broken mother's heart by asking for an "Easy Bake" oven rather that a Red Ryder BB gun when I was six, she just nodded her head and said "yeah, that's pretty early for anyone to know that they're different that other kids". She was very thorough and I have a ton of homework to do before our next appointment. My homework is in the form of writing my life's story up until now. She asked me what my intentions were and I told her that I would like to transition as far physically and mentally as is prudent for a girl my age. She asked if I had considered surgery. I said I had but I didn't know that since I was as old as methuzala's sister that might keep me from having it. She said that an orchiectomy would not be an problem for me. She also asked me about if I thought I wanted to be on hormone's in the future because she would have to refer me to an endocrinologist to get me started. After spending the hour talking, she said that she had a clear direction on where we should go from here and would like me to write about my life from beginning to now. I said that I would do that and I have been working on it but I have a long way to go before our next meeting at the end of November. I feeling pretty positive about this and can't wait to see what she has to say about my life thus far. It could be a mini-series on Oprah. I'm opening doors that have been locked tight for decades not just years and that is scaring the hell out of me. What if, after all this soul searching and self scrutiny, she says that I'm not transgendered, I'm just batshit crazy? Then what? I'm still looking for the right time to talk to my boss about my transition and all that that implies. My goal is to still have a job and a roof over my head when that talk is over. I keep coming back to Amy Hepker and how she suddenly ended up living in her car. I am NOT ready for that. I feel terrible she is in that situation.  That thought keeps me up at night sometimes. Wish me luck and tune in often because this soap opera gets better as it goes along. I'll keep you posted. I wonder when I have the orchiectomy if that will make me less "nuts" mentallySealed.



Comments

6 comments
  • Traci Lee O'Gara
    Traci Lee O'Gara You can begin the physical transition without informing your employer, then a bit downstream, after continuing to demonstrate your value to your company, begin conversations with your HR group on your plans. Allow them to work with you for a smooth...  more
    November 6, 2014 - 2 like this - Report
  • Rhonda Armstrong
    Rhonda Armstrong Thx for sharing! it bought me back to the begining of my own journey. the good news is that you don't have to to that again. giggle
    if i could visit myself in the begining i would tell myself "don't be in such a freegan hurry" My journey has gone in...  more
    November 10, 2014 - Report
  • Catriona Bruce
    Catriona Bruce I haf studied this mit much spiten und sparken, und have talk ed mit mein bruder Sigmund Freud. Sigmund is - what you say en Englisch out speaking. He diagnoze that yes, nucking Futz, but transgender too.
    ssen wir ein party haben fur celbrating your...  more
    December 1, 2014 - 1 likes this - Report
  • Traci Lee O'Gara
    Traci Lee O'Gara There can be only ONE universal response to this Catriona....
    O.....M.....G!!!!!! LOL
    Traci xoxo
    December 1, 2014 - Report