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  • 23 May 2019
    Today, I let my inner self out to take over. For the first time in years, I feel an absolutely wonderful and warm feeling all over.  My heart just wants to shout with joy. The real me asked "Why did you wait so long?", you know I've been here all along.   It's funny how we let the day to day business of living drowned out our inner joy and force us to accept compromises. Thats now finished!  As I sit here typing, there is a warmth of knowing the freedom that I can be whoever I want to be.  Sure, there may be setbacks, complications and adjustments, but that should not deter me from being who I truly am.    I am Michelle , a beautiful women. I should stop hiding myself, and start living as my true self. So now I resolve to take active steps to make that a reality.    A Woman bubbling with joy,   Michelle Lynn
    106 Posted by Michelle Lynn
  • 08 Jun 2019
    Hi All,   Yesterday, I spent time hiking in a place called "Big Trees National Park" here in Northern California.  My doctor wants me to walk at least 30-45 minutes  a day to rehab my knee.  So I decided to do that in interesting places near me.  Today it was Big Trees.  I am so amazed at how beautiful the place was.  Next time I'll bring a book and just spend time taking in the beauty and reading among the forest.   Michelle Lynn    
    93 Posted by Michelle Lynn
  • 12 Jun 2019
    Hi Girls,     I thought about titling this blog post "A Girl in Heat", but realized thats misleading. It is extremely HOT here in the SF BAy area this week.   Yesterday, it got to 105 degrees f. Today is expected to get to 100 degrees. Unless I want to imitate a strip of bacon, it's time to stay indoors with the air conditioning on, a glass of wine and a book to read.    It does bring up the question:    Is there any kind of makeup that can stay on without running or melting? Any suggestions?   Hugs, Michelle Lynn  
    91 Posted by Michelle Lynn
  • 20 Apr 2019
    Reposting a poem I wrote a few years ago about how I feel inside....
    90 Posted by Michelle Lynn
79 views Apr 20, 2019
My Story...

Hi Everyone,

I'm a former GS member, returning and hopefully reconnecting with old friends and acquaintances.

Since my previous posts no longer exist, I thought it would be good to start with my story: 

Like many of you here, I knew I was TG at early age (7) , but found it impossible to act upon it. I became very good at hiding who I was, but always had this storm raging inside me. There were the episodes of "borrowing" my mothers cloths and dressing up, but that was not a real help.  I also sometimes wondered if I was just trying to be Michelle as an elaborate way to masterbate and not a true reflection of my inner self. This doubt went away, as I realized that the storm inside me subsided and became a calm meadow or a peaceful pond. Any thought of masterbation while dressed, went away. My heart was telling me that I was most at peace as Michelle and it was my true feeling inside.  

 

My social life has had few male friends in it. I simply didn't share the interests that guys enjoy. However, I've always had alot of female friends that I loved spending time with. Instead, music, cooking, photography, skating, computers, and writing became my interests. I still remember wanting so much to wear one of those cute skating skirts and just be me in the skating rink.

 

As I grew older, social pressure to conform grew bigger and bigger. So I suppressed Michelle and tried to adopt some of the male interests. I started to date women (as a male), but started to over compensate.  They became targets for sex, which caused me pain.  As I was making love as a male, inside, I imagined it was me as the girl. Then I met my future wife.   I fell for her, but didn't know what to do. We dated for 5 years and eventually got married. I buried Michelle even deeper and didn't tell my wife about Michelle until years later, when it became unbearable to keep my secret.

 

I handled revealing Michelle to her badly. I simply got dressed as Michelle one day and met her (as Michelle) when she got home. She was devastated. She moved out for about a week and then came back.came back.  She said she didn't want to see me as Michelle, but understood my issues. 

 

A sort of detente was reached. I could be Michelle, but not to flaunt it in her face.   We also worked on the "Trust" issues of not having told her about that part of me in the first place.  

 

Today, I work from my home office (as Michelle) and present as my male alter ego when my wife wants to do anything.  It's not ideal, as my original plan was to fully transition and live as the true me, but I love my wife.

 

So, Thats my story.

 

Linda T, I noticed you posting was from 2014.  What has happened since then?

 

Hugs,

Michelle Lynn



Comments

1 comment
  • Briana Purcell
    Briana Purcell Thanks Michelle for sharing - Many of us have similar stories and have a need for dual enrollment in our lives and all because we have big hearts for those we love and care about in our quest to be ourselves. Hope all goes well in time.
    Apr 23