Lamenting growing up in wrong body...

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    Nature played a cruel joke on me, by giving me the mind of a woman and the body of a guy.

    Each morning I wake up and have to leave the sweet slumber of a female existence and take on the drab and sad mask of a male.  I've known since I was about 6 years old that I didn't really belong in this body. Growing up in a strict Catholic home, I learned very quickly to pretend to be male, al along feeling my female heart tugging at my mind.  What was first a doubt as to how real my female feelings were, grew stronger over time to a certainty of my female heart.

    I continued to live the "fake" male life, as in the 60's and 70's, I was unaware that transitioning was even possible.  Had I known then that it was possible, I would have made the decision to transition back then.  As I got older, life kind of got in the way.   As a male, I was very successful in the High Tech industry, made a lot of money, got married and had 2 daughters.  I don't ever regret my children, as I love them.   However, I often wonder how my life had gone if I transitioned in the late 60's.

    As I write this, I've reached the age where transitioning would not be medically advised, but I could just live as the real me, even if SRS, Facial Feminization and breast implantes would not be advised. (OK maybe get the breast implants).  However, that youthful female form would not be possible now.

    So now I can only  dream about what might have been.