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  • 07 Sep 2023
    I came across this moving short video on the Guardian website today. It tells the story of an Orthodox Jewish trans woman, Talia Avrahami, who started life male and transitioned to become female. She was working as a teacher at a school in New York City when she was outed in 2022 by a group of parents. They put pressure on the school authorities and Talia was fired. Despite this, she comes across as a positive and kind person who now has a role helping other trans people within the Orthodox Jewish community.   At the start I was expecting this to be a story of rejection by the local religious authorities, but that hasn't happened. Talia is still a member of the community, married to another Orthodox Jew and with a small child. She explains that although Orthodox Judaism does not tolerate homosexuality, it is more relaxed about transgenderism, regarding your gender as whatever physical state your body happens to be in at the time. So once you've transitioned, you are officially female. How refreshingly different from the attitude of conservative Christians.   I hope I've summarised the position correctly. I come at this from a Christian rather than Jewish perspective and I have no particular knowledge of Jewish belief and practice.   I have experienced a lot of rejection within Christian churches over the past year. This has not come about through opposition to my internally trans status. I have shared that with very few people and all of them reacted positively, as I was sure they would. Instead problems have arisen from something different – my history of mental illness and a landmark diagnosis of bipolar disorder over 20 years ago. For more on this, see my previous post. People I used to trust have followed the famous advice of John Major to "condemn a little more and understand a little less."   But to finish on a more positive note… I have not given up on the Christian church, though many would have done. Instead I have found somewhere else which is much more welcoming and makes a point of accepting everyone without any conditions – including the mentally ill and those who identify as LGBTQIA+. A couple of positive Sunday experiences have left me travelling in hope.
    282 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • 05 Mar 2023
    Hello, my name is Ariane. I do have a story but for now I want to say why I'm here and what I'm doing. My femme side has been dormant for a long time. Essentially I have to dress in private and it's not much of a life. I didn't think I would ever be able to express myself properly. But recently I decided to be brave and I came out to a couple I know who have been friends for a long time. I was confident they would react positively and indeed they did. In fact they were much more positive than I had a right to expect. I can now look forward to spending time as Ariane in their company.   I do lead a full life but it's hard to think of anything else at the moment. I have ordered a complete set of clothes online. I know what I like and the answer is black. The next step will be to arrange a makeover and have some professional photos taken. And also a makeup lesson so I can do it myself. Then hello world, here I come. At some point Ariane would like to go out dressed, though this will have to be somewhere I won't be recognised, like London or Manchester.
    282 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • 17 Mar 2023
    Ariane has gone to ground – externally at least – owing to the constant presence of family members in the house for the next few days. It's all I can do to collect deliveries from couriers before others see them. Stuff designed for a trans recipient generally arrives in plain packaging, but boxes of cosmetics usually name the supplier on the label. So I try to time my purchases to arrive when there will be no one here. I'm not sure this is a great way to live. I already have a locked suitcase full of stuff hidden away and there's a limit to what else I can store.   On a more positive note, I saw my friends P & P this morning. We are hatching a getaway plan. By this I mean that they will get away to a European destination for a short break and I will go with them as their friend. On arrival at this cosmopolitan capital city (let's call it Berlin), Ariane will come out to play and won't mind who sees her. Likely to be late June or thereabouts.  
    267 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • 16 Mar 2023
    Christiane followed the makeup lesson by taking some close-up full-face studio photos with her camera. One of these I really like. It's so sweet. So it's gone into Ariane's photo album. Again, you have to be a Full Member and my Friend to see the album.
    252 Posted by Ariane Durand
288 views Mar 13, 2023
Ariane vs Rest of the World

On Sunday evening I suffered a profound psychological blow that undermined my entire approach to life. I felt it in my heart and I'm now trying to make sense of it. At least it was not related to Ariane – not outwardly at any rate.

 

The world does not move as fast as I would like and people do not behave in the way I would expect. I will have to rearrange myself and revise my expectations.

 

I am still going ahead with the makeup lesson in a few hours' time (I hope) but I have cancelled Ariane's proposed weekend in Manchester. It was a deadline too soon given the other things I want to see happen before then. Also I do feel strongly the absence of a potential friendly contact that weekend.

 

I posted earlier about trans loneliness. I feel this now. Ariane online is an important part of me. Despite several attempts I still don't have anyone who wants to share my online life. Maybe I feel sorry for myself. But then no one else is going to feel sorry for me.