Please Visit Our Sponsor





User's Tags

Rachel de Blanc 's Entries

105 blogs
  • 05 Sep 2008
    We keep returning of course, to the multi-tasked, multi-faceted minestrone soup that is Tranny Web because it entertains, enlightens and exacerbates us when we need to communicate and have contact with like-minded souls. Like the best Minestrone soup of course, there is a lot of hot broth and gossip and the odd bit of grissely (sp?) stuff floating around that is unidentifiable and occasionally hard to swallow, but encouraged by the niceness of everything else you swallow another dosage. Such a shame that occasionally the content of TWeb irritates, because it undermines the real value of the community and can discourage you from visiting. Most boring and dispiriting are echoes of previous petty conversations. These really can infuriate. But it’s difficult to condemn individuals, because who are we to judge? I for one know that I’m not 100% confident in my own personality, that I’m not 100% balanced. I wish I was, but I’m me and I’m stuck with him/her. I’ve considered leaving TWeb recently because I’ve felt removed from the site, slightly remote because of the vagueness of my own commitment and the weight of questions that I carry. Boy, I wish I was a happy girl rather than a mixed-up man.. Then of course, I read a thread and feel empathy and warmth for the girls who attempt to reason, who embrace through correspondence and who chide in chorus. I also feel sympathy for the people here who struggle to engage, who seek attention in a child-like way, and who appear to spin around slightly out-of-kilter with the planet’s orbit. I feel sympathy because perhaps we all suffer from that a little, because of what we are. So keep an open mind over the weekend at least, shut out this week and look forward to next week with optimism. It might just surprise you.
    595 Posted by Rachel de Blanc
  • We keep returning of course, to the multi-tasked, multi-faceted minestrone soup that is Tranny Web because it entertains, enlightens and exacerbates us when we need to communicate and have contact with like-minded souls. Like the best Minestrone soup of course, there is a lot of hot broth and gossip and the odd bit of grissely (sp?) stuff floating around that is unidentifiable and occasionally hard to swallow, but encouraged by the niceness of everything else you swallow another dosage. Such a shame that occasionally the content of TWeb irritates, because it undermines the real value of the community and can discourage you from visiting. Most boring and dispiriting are echoes of previous petty conversations. These really can infuriate. But it’s difficult to condemn individuals, because who are we to judge? I for one know that I’m not 100% confident in my own personality, that I’m not 100% balanced. I wish I was, but I’m me and I’m stuck with him/her. I’ve considered leaving TWeb recently because I’ve felt removed from the site, slightly remote because of the vagueness of my own commitment and the weight of questions that I carry. Boy, I wish I was a happy girl rather than a mixed-up man.. Then of course, I read a thread and feel empathy and warmth for the girls who attempt to reason, who embrace through correspondence and who chide in chorus. I also feel sympathy for the people here who struggle to engage, who seek attention in a child-like way, and who appear to spin around slightly out-of-kilter with the planet’s orbit. I feel sympathy because perhaps we all suffer from that a little, because of what we are. So keep an open mind over the weekend at least, shut out this week and look forward to next week with optimism. It might just surprise you.
    Sep 05, 2008 595
  • 02 Aug 2008
    Because we communicate to one another on a multi-national basis over the internet, miss-communication is obviously possible and can occasionally cause harm. So I thought I’d provide you with a little anecdote to make you smile.. I’m an architect and this is acknowledged by my friends and family. I’m also trans-gendered and that isn’t. About four or five years ago I was working upon a project for a family house, and the kitchen required refurbishing. I recalled the name of a company that manufactured substitute kitchen cupboard doors to replace your existing doors. An easy way to bring a tired old kitchen to life.. So I typed in the company name to discover more. I was working within an open-plan office, and all members of staff were able to trace (should they wish) the history of any individuals searches or emails. So it was with a mixture of surprise and delight when my cupboard door replacement company turned out to be Transformation. This eventful, coincidental discovery awakened many things, but didn’t eventually lead to new glossy MDF doors, more a case of glossy MtF. Of course I’m assuming that this imaginary door replacement company did actually exist and that it wasn’t just a front for a Tranny Shop next to Euston Station.
    676 Posted by Rachel de Blanc
  • Because we communicate to one another on a multi-national basis over the internet, miss-communication is obviously possible and can occasionally cause harm. So I thought I’d provide you with a little anecdote to make you smile.. I’m an architect and this is acknowledged by my friends and family. I’m also trans-gendered and that isn’t. About four or five years ago I was working upon a project for a family house, and the kitchen required refurbishing. I recalled the name of a company that manufactured substitute kitchen cupboard doors to replace your existing doors. An easy way to bring a tired old kitchen to life.. So I typed in the company name to discover more. I was working within an open-plan office, and all members of staff were able to trace (should they wish) the history of any individuals searches or emails. So it was with a mixture of surprise and delight when my cupboard door replacement company turned out to be Transformation. This eventful, coincidental discovery awakened many things, but didn’t eventually lead to new glossy MDF doors, more a case of glossy MtF. Of course I’m assuming that this imaginary door replacement company did actually exist and that it wasn’t just a front for a Tranny Shop next to Euston Station.
    Aug 02, 2008 676
  • 23 Jul 2008
    I’m sensing that a purge is on the horizon. I’ve not been an active participant here for a bit. I pay a daily visit, catch up on gossip. But I’m not giving as much as most girls, and that seems unfair on others. Heck, wouldn’t it be great to take a break from the norm, and escape to a romantic place where you can live as you wish for a while? Dream-time..
    638 Posted by Rachel de Blanc
  • I’m sensing that a purge is on the horizon. I’ve not been an active participant here for a bit. I pay a daily visit, catch up on gossip. But I’m not giving as much as most girls, and that seems unfair on others. Heck, wouldn’t it be great to take a break from the norm, and escape to a romantic place where you can live as you wish for a while? Dream-time..
    Jul 23, 2008 638
  • 15 Jul 2008
    I am a transvestite maybe a transsexual, with a desire to be a woman. But was I first a boy then I became a man. The need to express my femininity has fluctuated over time, but has never entirely disappeared. If I am low, or a little lost it is a comfort, an escape. I have always embraced the fantasy of transformation yet I am wholly reliable and dependable. I take calculated risks and I never act rashly, but I would take female hormones tomorrow. I am open and honest but I have not spoken to my wife or family about this. I sometimes think that I am failing as a man because of my desire to be a woman. I wish I was not a transvestite although I think I could be a strong woman. I am sometimes saddened by images of those who aspire to be accepted as a woman, and feel empathy with their dreams. I’m sometimes uncertain why I visit here, but visits here make things feel more certain.
    618 Posted by Rachel de Blanc
  • I am a transvestite maybe a transsexual, with a desire to be a woman. But was I first a boy then I became a man. The need to express my femininity has fluctuated over time, but has never entirely disappeared. If I am low, or a little lost it is a comfort, an escape. I have always embraced the fantasy of transformation yet I am wholly reliable and dependable. I take calculated risks and I never act rashly, but I would take female hormones tomorrow. I am open and honest but I have not spoken to my wife or family about this. I sometimes think that I am failing as a man because of my desire to be a woman. I wish I was not a transvestite although I think I could be a strong woman. I am sometimes saddened by images of those who aspire to be accepted as a woman, and feel empathy with their dreams. I’m sometimes uncertain why I visit here, but visits here make things feel more certain.
    Jul 15, 2008 618
  • 02 Jul 2008
    ‘Thank goodness for Blogs’. Now that’s something I thought I’d never say.. I make that comment because I’ve recently read an impassioned statement, which was thought-provoking, touching and slightly disconcerting. The author used her blog to define highly personal thoughts, so passionately that I felt it was inappropriate to respond or comment. But I also suspect that she knew that her blog was providing her with the opportunity to engage with a supportive community, whilst keeping that community at an informed distance. What other medium allows this? I hope she feels better for articulating her thoughts, and that the writing has given her clarity. It has made me think about punctuating my blog with up-beat and positive reflections on my gender-confused state. Yes, I am a bit messed up, I admit it. But can you imagine what life would be like if you had never experienced any female desires / male desires and had never questioned gender? Something close to living your life in 2-d rather 3-d perhaps? So thank goodness for blogs, for personal freedom, and for the silent minority.
    635 Posted by Rachel de Blanc
  • ‘Thank goodness for Blogs’. Now that’s something I thought I’d never say.. I make that comment because I’ve recently read an impassioned statement, which was thought-provoking, touching and slightly disconcerting. The author used her blog to define highly personal thoughts, so passionately that I felt it was inappropriate to respond or comment. But I also suspect that she knew that her blog was providing her with the opportunity to engage with a supportive community, whilst keeping that community at an informed distance. What other medium allows this? I hope she feels better for articulating her thoughts, and that the writing has given her clarity. It has made me think about punctuating my blog with up-beat and positive reflections on my gender-confused state. Yes, I am a bit messed up, I admit it. But can you imagine what life would be like if you had never experienced any female desires / male desires and had never questioned gender? Something close to living your life in 2-d rather 3-d perhaps? So thank goodness for blogs, for personal freedom, and for the silent minority.
    Jul 02, 2008 635
  • 18 Jun 2008
    I had an enjoyable male day yesterday. This doesn’t mean that I went around being lewd, fixing the car, playing football and not generally raping and pillaging, but that I went about my professional life in a confident manner, go things done and only popped into TWeb very briefly. I undid some of that when I returned home and tried on my wife’s new sunglasses and attempted to pair a bright red lip liner with a courageously contrasting lipstick though.. I have exercised a lot recently, and wonder whether I’ve been benefiting from the feel-good and increased testosterone as a result? As that wears off (no exercise since Sunday) there’s more feminine reflection. Today, less male. More TWeb and an interesting read of Minako’s diaries. The influence (psychological and physical) of taking hormones interests me greatly. But it’s not something for now. I’ll keep trying to balance the him and her messages that my brain issues for a while, until she shouts louder and in a more prolonged manner. He’ll either put up or shut up I guess. I’ll let you know when I have enjoyable female days whilst simultaneously feeling good and acting professionally. That would be great. For now though, every day seems to have a why in it.
    573 Posted by Rachel de Blanc
  • I had an enjoyable male day yesterday. This doesn’t mean that I went around being lewd, fixing the car, playing football and not generally raping and pillaging, but that I went about my professional life in a confident manner, go things done and only popped into TWeb very briefly. I undid some of that when I returned home and tried on my wife’s new sunglasses and attempted to pair a bright red lip liner with a courageously contrasting lipstick though.. I have exercised a lot recently, and wonder whether I’ve been benefiting from the feel-good and increased testosterone as a result? As that wears off (no exercise since Sunday) there’s more feminine reflection. Today, less male. More TWeb and an interesting read of Minako’s diaries. The influence (psychological and physical) of taking hormones interests me greatly. But it’s not something for now. I’ll keep trying to balance the him and her messages that my brain issues for a while, until she shouts louder and in a more prolonged manner. He’ll either put up or shut up I guess. I’ll let you know when I have enjoyable female days whilst simultaneously feeling good and acting professionally. That would be great. For now though, every day seems to have a why in it.
    Jun 18, 2008 573
  • 13 Jun 2008
    There are times when I suspect that I will never come out and fully express myself. Perhaps my needs are not sufficiently acute, or I’m just too much of a scaredy-cat? Yesterday, as an example, I was away on business. So I made it my business to purchase a copy of Grazia to read on the journey. No problems making a purchase, but then I sat there covertly reading, anxious not to draw attention to myself. On that basis, what chance of walking down the carriage in a dress?
    600 Posted by Rachel de Blanc
  • There are times when I suspect that I will never come out and fully express myself. Perhaps my needs are not sufficiently acute, or I’m just too much of a scaredy-cat? Yesterday, as an example, I was away on business. So I made it my business to purchase a copy of Grazia to read on the journey. No problems making a purchase, but then I sat there covertly reading, anxious not to draw attention to myself. On that basis, what chance of walking down the carriage in a dress?
    Jun 13, 2008 600
  • 10 Jun 2008
    Sorry, I obviously should have said ‘trans-sister radio’ in the previous blog…
    580 Posted by Rachel de Blanc
  • Sorry, I obviously should have said ‘trans-sister radio’ in the previous blog…
    Jun 10, 2008 580
  • 07 Jun 2008
    Infrequency Personally, I think that Trannyweb feels a little bit like an old transistor radio. There are times when I can hear and clearly understand the content, times when the messages fade in and out, and times when everything said sounds distorted. So I can feel attuned with the programme one day and distanced from it another. Perhaps it’s not the transmission which is at fault, but the ability of the receiver to pick things up.. Because of my position, I can only read about some of the experiences that girls here are going through. I can yearn for the same, but I cannot truly understand. This means that my ability to contribute is sometimes quite limited. I would like circumstances to change, but I suspect they may not or cannot. It’s my call. There is a chance of course, that I’ll be pushed to the edge. I think I can see it, I’m moving closer to it. Perhaps circumstances will push me to the abyss and I’ll be released from this stationary position to a more liberated freedom, where I’m let out and I’m able to express everything that I have contained for years? Until such clarity is reached, I’ll just have to keep tuning in under the bed-sheets and dream that I’m in another place.
    631 Posted by Rachel de Blanc
  • Infrequency Personally, I think that Trannyweb feels a little bit like an old transistor radio. There are times when I can hear and clearly understand the content, times when the messages fade in and out, and times when everything said sounds distorted. So I can feel attuned with the programme one day and distanced from it another. Perhaps it’s not the transmission which is at fault, but the ability of the receiver to pick things up.. Because of my position, I can only read about some of the experiences that girls here are going through. I can yearn for the same, but I cannot truly understand. This means that my ability to contribute is sometimes quite limited. I would like circumstances to change, but I suspect they may not or cannot. It’s my call. There is a chance of course, that I’ll be pushed to the edge. I think I can see it, I’m moving closer to it. Perhaps circumstances will push me to the abyss and I’ll be released from this stationary position to a more liberated freedom, where I’m let out and I’m able to express everything that I have contained for years? Until such clarity is reached, I’ll just have to keep tuning in under the bed-sheets and dream that I’m in another place.
    Jun 07, 2008 631
  • 22 May 2008
    I’m not out to my wife. Things are a bit tricky at home at present. I’m certain that now is not the right time to explain to her that I’m certainly a transvestite and maybe transsexual. However, I felt I needed to post a photograph on T Web because I didn’t feel I could hide from the community if I was benefiting from it. So, I take a photo (about fifty actually) and delete, and delete etc. I settle on one, tweak it a bit - colours and contrast only, then post it. I’m worried, it looks like me! There’s little disguise, no wig, no dark glasses. If you knew me, you’d spot me. I slowly get less anxious (complacent perhaps?) and some nice people say nice things. Then I get two direct hits from TA’s that surprise and disturb. These have encouraged me to say the following: 1. If I have previously not contributed to Threads about ‘aggressive’ TA’s or have failed to appreciate the tone of the threads, then I apologise. As the result of a new message received today I can now appreciate how a forward & invasive introduction feels. 2. In a small way, I now appreciate how women might feel when they are ‘hit upon’ by a Guy. I could look at this in a few ways I suppose. Either, I’ve taken another small, educative step towards learning about what it’s like to be a woman, so it’s a positive thing? Or, I’ve learnt a little more about how women feel when they’re ‘hit upon’ by a Guy, so feel a little remorse. 3. If I appear attractive upon my photograph, that’s because I was trying as hard as possible to present myself as a woman, knowing full well that as a transvestite I cannot honestly claim to physically or psychologically understand what that feels like, or compare to those girls who will be, are or have transitioned. Yes, I know, nobody judges here. But I just wanted to try and present and be accepted as a woman. 4. I can’t remember saying anywhere on my profile that I was keen to receive salacious messages from people I’ve never chatted to or heard of previously. If that wasn’t previously clear, could I therefore gently emphasise as follows: PLEASE DON’T BOTHER, I’M IN A RELATIONSHIP AND I LOVE HER! So, now I’m thinking I shouldn’t have deleted all of those bad photos, because I’m telling you if I’d have used the majority of them I wouldn’t have this problem! So, here-endeth my lesson in how to respond calmly to the approach of strangers. Glad I got that off my chest. Sadly, still flat. Thank you for listening. Rachel x
    624 Posted by Rachel de Blanc
  • I’m not out to my wife. Things are a bit tricky at home at present. I’m certain that now is not the right time to explain to her that I’m certainly a transvestite and maybe transsexual. However, I felt I needed to post a photograph on T Web because I didn’t feel I could hide from the community if I was benefiting from it. So, I take a photo (about fifty actually) and delete, and delete etc. I settle on one, tweak it a bit - colours and contrast only, then post it. I’m worried, it looks like me! There’s little disguise, no wig, no dark glasses. If you knew me, you’d spot me. I slowly get less anxious (complacent perhaps?) and some nice people say nice things. Then I get two direct hits from TA’s that surprise and disturb. These have encouraged me to say the following: 1. If I have previously not contributed to Threads about ‘aggressive’ TA’s or have failed to appreciate the tone of the threads, then I apologise. As the result of a new message received today I can now appreciate how a forward & invasive introduction feels. 2. In a small way, I now appreciate how women might feel when they are ‘hit upon’ by a Guy. I could look at this in a few ways I suppose. Either, I’ve taken another small, educative step towards learning about what it’s like to be a woman, so it’s a positive thing? Or, I’ve learnt a little more about how women feel when they’re ‘hit upon’ by a Guy, so feel a little remorse. 3. If I appear attractive upon my photograph, that’s because I was trying as hard as possible to present myself as a woman, knowing full well that as a transvestite I cannot honestly claim to physically or psychologically understand what that feels like, or compare to those girls who will be, are or have transitioned. Yes, I know, nobody judges here. But I just wanted to try and present and be accepted as a woman. 4. I can’t remember saying anywhere on my profile that I was keen to receive salacious messages from people I’ve never chatted to or heard of previously. If that wasn’t previously clear, could I therefore gently emphasise as follows: PLEASE DON’T BOTHER, I’M IN A RELATIONSHIP AND I LOVE HER! So, now I’m thinking I shouldn’t have deleted all of those bad photos, because I’m telling you if I’d have used the majority of them I wouldn’t have this problem! So, here-endeth my lesson in how to respond calmly to the approach of strangers. Glad I got that off my chest. Sadly, still flat. Thank you for listening. Rachel x
    May 22, 2008 624