Well Its December and another Winter in Northern Ontario ,Canada. December has come once again and it seams like every years at this time of year I hear of a "Death" or passing of someone . I ve lost many in this month since 2012 . First it was my Father then last year my Mother and a family friend who was like an uncle to me since childhood and Now another . I loved Christmas growing up because I loved having family and friends around but now all that is gone . it has become very difficult as of late hearing Christmas music on the radio or in a Mall or store . It has been hard at times for me to stomach all this because of all this sadness . Its almost a year since my Mother 's passing and almost everyday has been a struggle . My life has been upside down since that night and has forever changed . I know live alone but it has not stopped me from dressing in fact I spend more time as "Karen" at home then I used too. I have been pushing myself to be "out" more but still not yet in full public . I have many times worn a "bra" under my T shirts but without forms . I have on a few occasions gone on a " day trip" Fully dressed and it felt "Great " . I 've even met this "Online Friend " in person Fully dressed and make up at her place and with other strangers around . It was abit nerve racking at first but I later found out that I looked "Passable " and they thought I was "Real " . So For now I 'm just hoping to get thru another month and perhaps without anymore problems or "Death " . There is a brighter side to my story and that is I have a "GG" Girl friend who soon will be my Wife " . We are planning to "Marry" sometime in the New Year and I 'am looking forwards to it . So I hope that All my friends and Sisters here have a Great "Christmas and Happy New Year " Wow ! 2020 Here I come !!