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I ve been a member of this site since March of 2008, but there s not too many here that know my story. As a young Canadian child growing up in the far north of Northern Ontario Canada . the sight of a CD or Gay, Les is not very comon here . My comunity does have a GLBT chapter here , but is very well hid in my region. I first started to dress as a young as 3 but I was like most kids encouriged not to. Life for me has not been a bed of roses . My parents separated when I was 7 years old . at the age of 12 , two week befor by christmas I was admited to hospital and was told i had diebetes. From that time on I had this feeling that I was difernt . I never really had many friends and thoes i knew in school treated me differnt . It was not till i was 14 that I started to be intersted in girls . it was also then I somehow felt there was this other side of me that like how women looked in a dress. It was then my secret desire for women's things was born . I was not til I was 17 that I started to collect stuff and dumpster dive . by the time I reached the age of 22 it came to me that I have a sexual problem . up until then I was not dressing fully but i would wear somethings from my collection for sexual pleasur. It was at that moment in my life that I did like some here and I "purged" . I had got rid of most of what i had collected and even burned a dress . Over a 5 years I tried to live a normal life , but it only fueled my disires to dress and for sexual pleasur. So at the age of 27 i started back on that road that so many of us girls been on . I had to start off again almost from scratch replacing things that i had given away or burned . I was lucky at the time that I could fit into a size 14 dress. the very first dress i wore i borrowed it (ok stole it ) from my mother's closet . I wore that dress when i felt the need to be me for 2 and a half years. I took very good care of it til i got a chance in 2001 to return it . Til this day my mother never knew i had it or wore it . In 2007 I did something that kinda shocked my family, I "came out " . I had kept this secet from all my family for a very long time and well hid . I first told a relitive about it and she said , when it feels right i should tell my family. I think the hardest thing for a CD like me to do was tell my parents . Since I live at home with my mom she was the first one i really had to worry about. the thought of telling her was painfull and very dificult for me. Telling her face to face was out for me . so i came up with a plan to tell her in my own way all about it . So I sat i down one night and wrote her a 3 page letter . In it i explained what I was up to and that i was not gay . It took me sometime to gather up the courige to give her that letter. then one day I was leaving for a early morning long day trip . I left that letter for her on the kitchen table . when I retured she told me about reading it and she was not mad or upset with me , only requested that i give her some time to deal with it . So I did and in a few months she came to me and said . If you chose to dress this way I can not stop you . At this time Im unshure if my father knows and I have full support from my brother who is 5 years younger than me. Up until 2009 things was great for me . then during the end of summer I had stepped on something in the lake water and it cut the bottom of my right foot just below my toes. At that time i did nt think it was nothing to worry about til one night I seen there was a "red" line that was going up my leg from my foot. I was admited to hospital and my wound was debried . a small hole was forming and over a few months it was getting bigger. there was an infection in my third toe and again befor christmas of 2009 I was admited . this time I was given an option to remove the infected toe or risk loosing my foot . It was during that time I ran into another unforseen problem after sugery. I had devloped water on my lungs and it was to the point that they thought i may be going into conjstive heart failure. but after a CT scan it was found it was water on the lungs.
November 4, 2011- -
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