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  • 28 Oct 2011
    I  would like  to  thank  all  the  GS  members  that  comented  on  my  blog  about  me  leaving  this  site .   First  I  would  like  to  say that  I  enjoyed  reading  all the  coments  and  I  have  to say . "I  really  feel loved  here "  Ive  always  had  "respect"  for this  site  and  its  members and  to  be  concidered  to  be  one  of  its  "top  members "  is a  total "honor "  for  me  !!!         THANK YOU  VERY  MUCH  MY  GS    SISTERS !!!!             yours  truly      Karen  Tea    xxxx ooo 
    751 Posted by Karen Tea
  • I  would like  to  thank  all  the  GS  members  that  comented  on  my  blog  about  me  leaving  this  site .   First  I  would  like  to  say that  I  enjoyed  reading  all the  coments  and  I  have  to say . "I  really  feel loved  here "  Ive  always  had  "respect"  for this  site  and  its  members and  to  be  concidered  to  be  one  of  its  "top  members "  is a  total "honor "  for  me  !!!         THANK YOU  VERY  MUCH  MY  GS    SISTERS !!!!             yours  truly      Karen  Tea    xxxx ooo 
    Oct 28, 2011 751
  • 05 Nov 2011
      Reading some post I noticed that some of us are referred to as the old timers. I guess we are. I've been at this site for a number of years. It's not the long time members that keep this site moving. As our numbers are getting smaller. It's the new members that keep things flowing. New thoughts, new ideas.  It's change & it's a good change.      I've been in a kind of funk for to long now. I keep thinking I'll be my old self again soon & have some fun here. But for some reason I just don't.  So many new girls I don't know. Don't take that wrong I think their great & wish I was on better speaking terms with all of them. Thye problem is not all the new names & faces it's me. I want to contribute more but I just don't. I just don't take the time or feel up to it. When I came to except that I will never be able to be the woman I want to be nothing really mattered anymore. Just living day to day.
    1887 Posted by Karen Brad
  •   Reading some post I noticed that some of us are referred to as the old timers. I guess we are. I've been at this site for a number of years. It's not the long time members that keep this site moving. As our numbers are getting smaller. It's the new members that keep things flowing. New thoughts, new ideas.  It's change & it's a good change.      I've been in a kind of funk for to long now. I keep thinking I'll be my old self again soon & have some fun here. But for some reason I just don't.  So many new girls I don't know. Don't take that wrong I think their great & wish I was on better speaking terms with all of them. Thye problem is not all the new names & faces it's me. I want to contribute more but I just don't. I just don't take the time or feel up to it. When I came to except that I will never be able to be the woman I want to be nothing really mattered anymore. Just living day to day.
    Nov 05, 2011 1887
  • 05 May 2011
    I grow up in a household of only women. My house hold growing up consisted of my mom, my sister, and my two adopted sisters. I am the oldest of my siblings. From the time I was five I had more interest in their toys then my own. Though even as early as that age I had been ingrained with gender identities and I would hide off by myself when I played with their toys. However I was not very sneaky and honestly was discovered playing with a Barbie when I was 6 by my mom, who I remember to this day having an astonishingly disappointed look on her face before she took it from me. She never said a word about it, but it made me feel so embarrassed at the time. So I never played with their toys again no matter how much I desired to.   However my sisters and I would still play fun games together as kids where we’d act out fairytales. I honestly never once got into fights with any of my sisters, unlike most siblings I would hear about. When my mom would take us shopping as kids and even later as teenagers, we would go to the stores and they would pick out the cutest outfits and all these super cute toys. I always helped pick stuff out and they would love the stuff I’d find for them to wear. Honestly I just picked out things I thought I’d wear if had been a girl or toys or stuff animals I wish I had been able to play with.   When I started into my teenage years I would borrow clothes when no one was home and dress up. I loved the cute dresses and the stockings and trying on all the shoes. I’d try on any outfit I could fit into that I thought was super cute and play in front of the mirror. It all felt so amazing and I wished I could wear it all the time, but then I’d get paranoid and take it all off and put away and run back to my room and just try and keep the memory of how it felt. Sometimes I’d just wear one thing and go to bed with it on.. even if I had to hide it under some pajamas or under my guy clothes. I had gotten better at hiding things and never got caught doing any of that. I would play with makeup or with my hair for hours in front of the mirror when no one was around.   I felt odd for wanting to do that stuff and wanting the things I really wanted. I didn’t like the guilt that came with it that had been ingrained into me. So I tried so hard to fit in with the guys at school instead. I did my best to act like them and took up skateboarding even though I didn’t like it and just did everything everyone else expected me to do. I still found myself making more friends that were girls then guys and couldn’t resist going shopping together for fun and hanging out at their houses and spending evenings listening to music and just having fun.   Oddly enough by tenth grade I came to find out that even with my best attempts to fit in, most the people in my highschool thought I was gay. However the thing is I find men extremely unattractive and was actually upset to find that people had assumed I was gay for years and never bothered to ask or anything. I suppose I would appear that way though to people.   My mom eventually married a guy and he moved in and became my stepdad. At that point I feared too much to do anything again for the rest of the time I lived at home. Yet still he found me too feminine and suggested to my mom to send me to the military to become a real man. So off I was shipped on my 17th birthday to the military. Oh joy!   So let’s skip ahead past all that to now-a-days. I might blog about that some day in the future.   So these days my interests still include theater classes, swing dance classes, shopping with my friends, helping my friend make her 50’s style bathing suit from materials we found, I go to opera and musicals, I love to dance around my house singing and acting them out when no one is around :D, I have a huge hello kitty collection and lots of other cute Japanese toys and plushies. I sometimes wear cute kitty ears and still feel like there are few people I can be myself around and still feel confused about myself. I buy cosplay outfits and will spend hours looking at the girl ones or picking out cute pin up dresses or checking out scene girl clothes. Those long striped thigh high socks that are so amazingly cute have been incredibly hard not to buy.  It’s ironic because I think that’s the main reason I would get really cute girlfriends is so I could buy them the stuff I actually liked and dress them up in the cute outfits. I’d admire them and sit there wishing I could be that cute and sexy.   I think what throws me off most and has since I was a teenager is the fact that sexually I am attracted to women. So it’s left me perplexed and for the longest time I did everything to ignore it. I buried myself in work and school and relationships where I did my best to act the part for them. The only girlfriends I have had that have been understanding of the way I am have been transgendered. Yet honestly I have trouble talking and opening up to people in person about this.   So been searching around the web for answers and I actually came here hoping I could meet friends and people I could talk to more and get some insight. The articles have been interesting and all the information on here is golden. Everyone’s blog’s have been amazing and thanks everyone for sharing. Hopefully I’ll actually figure things out and make some friends while here.    Thanks ^_^ and have a wonderful day everyone
    1248 Posted by johnny rich
  • I grow up in a household of only women. My house hold growing up consisted of my mom, my sister, and my two adopted sisters. I am the oldest of my siblings. From the time I was five I had more interest in their toys then my own. Though even as early as that age I had been ingrained with gender identities and I would hide off by myself when I played with their toys. However I was not very sneaky and honestly was discovered playing with a Barbie when I was 6 by my mom, who I remember to this day having an astonishingly disappointed look on her face before she took it from me. She never said a word about it, but it made me feel so embarrassed at the time. So I never played with their toys again no matter how much I desired to.   However my sisters and I would still play fun games together as kids where we’d act out fairytales. I honestly never once got into fights with any of my sisters, unlike most siblings I would hear about. When my mom would take us shopping as kids and even later as teenagers, we would go to the stores and they would pick out the cutest outfits and all these super cute toys. I always helped pick stuff out and they would love the stuff I’d find for them to wear. Honestly I just picked out things I thought I’d wear if had been a girl or toys or stuff animals I wish I had been able to play with.   When I started into my teenage years I would borrow clothes when no one was home and dress up. I loved the cute dresses and the stockings and trying on all the shoes. I’d try on any outfit I could fit into that I thought was super cute and play in front of the mirror. It all felt so amazing and I wished I could wear it all the time, but then I’d get paranoid and take it all off and put away and run back to my room and just try and keep the memory of how it felt. Sometimes I’d just wear one thing and go to bed with it on.. even if I had to hide it under some pajamas or under my guy clothes. I had gotten better at hiding things and never got caught doing any of that. I would play with makeup or with my hair for hours in front of the mirror when no one was around.   I felt odd for wanting to do that stuff and wanting the things I really wanted. I didn’t like the guilt that came with it that had been ingrained into me. So I tried so hard to fit in with the guys at school instead. I did my best to act like them and took up skateboarding even though I didn’t like it and just did everything everyone else expected me to do. I still found myself making more friends that were girls then guys and couldn’t resist going shopping together for fun and hanging out at their houses and spending evenings listening to music and just having fun.   Oddly enough by tenth grade I came to find out that even with my best attempts to fit in, most the people in my highschool thought I was gay. However the thing is I find men extremely unattractive and was actually upset to find that people had assumed I was gay for years and never bothered to ask or anything. I suppose I would appear that way though to people.   My mom eventually married a guy and he moved in and became my stepdad. At that point I feared too much to do anything again for the rest of the time I lived at home. Yet still he found me too feminine and suggested to my mom to send me to the military to become a real man. So off I was shipped on my 17th birthday to the military. Oh joy!   So let’s skip ahead past all that to now-a-days. I might blog about that some day in the future.   So these days my interests still include theater classes, swing dance classes, shopping with my friends, helping my friend make her 50’s style bathing suit from materials we found, I go to opera and musicals, I love to dance around my house singing and acting them out when no one is around :D, I have a huge hello kitty collection and lots of other cute Japanese toys and plushies. I sometimes wear cute kitty ears and still feel like there are few people I can be myself around and still feel confused about myself. I buy cosplay outfits and will spend hours looking at the girl ones or picking out cute pin up dresses or checking out scene girl clothes. Those long striped thigh high socks that are so amazingly cute have been incredibly hard not to buy.  It’s ironic because I think that’s the main reason I would get really cute girlfriends is so I could buy them the stuff I actually liked and dress them up in the cute outfits. I’d admire them and sit there wishing I could be that cute and sexy.   I think what throws me off most and has since I was a teenager is the fact that sexually I am attracted to women. So it’s left me perplexed and for the longest time I did everything to ignore it. I buried myself in work and school and relationships where I did my best to act the part for them. The only girlfriends I have had that have been understanding of the way I am have been transgendered. Yet honestly I have trouble talking and opening up to people in person about this.   So been searching around the web for answers and I actually came here hoping I could meet friends and people I could talk to more and get some insight. The articles have been interesting and all the information on here is golden. Everyone’s blog’s have been amazing and thanks everyone for sharing. Hopefully I’ll actually figure things out and make some friends while here.    Thanks ^_^ and have a wonderful day everyone
    May 05, 2011 1248
  • 06 May 2011
    As I sit here this morning I feel a bit down that I can't be me. I'm supposed to meet some people for breakfast this morning & have to do it in male mode, which sucks. I finely got my nailpolish on right, not a dab out of place & an awsome color. But it has to come off. The reality is that I can never really go out as Karen. All the clothes & makeup on earth couldn't make me look right. After all the operations I had in 06 I have a huge gut with a scar as big as the palm of my hand right in the middle of it. Evan with out that at 52 it seems to late to start. If I would have had internet 30yrs ago I would have not felt so alone & so afraid to be the girl I want so badly to be.  I'm still alone. The net & being here at GS is not a real substitute for real friends.  Don't get me wrong I've met some real great ladies here. But my laptop can't hold a hand or wipe a tear. So I'll just keep feeling sad & go on with life as it is.
    2156 Posted by Karen Brad
  • As I sit here this morning I feel a bit down that I can't be me. I'm supposed to meet some people for breakfast this morning & have to do it in male mode, which sucks. I finely got my nailpolish on right, not a dab out of place & an awsome color. But it has to come off. The reality is that I can never really go out as Karen. All the clothes & makeup on earth couldn't make me look right. After all the operations I had in 06 I have a huge gut with a scar as big as the palm of my hand right in the middle of it. Evan with out that at 52 it seems to late to start. If I would have had internet 30yrs ago I would have not felt so alone & so afraid to be the girl I want so badly to be.  I'm still alone. The net & being here at GS is not a real substitute for real friends.  Don't get me wrong I've met some real great ladies here. But my laptop can't hold a hand or wipe a tear. So I'll just keep feeling sad & go on with life as it is.
    May 06, 2011 2156
  • 11 May 2011
    I don't know if you've ever thought about it but the life of a social network administrator is quite demanding.  You have to know about a lot of things, from email strategy to SEO, accounting, marketing and server administrating, from forum management to PHP programming and you need to know your HTML and CSS from soup to nuts (or know someone else who does).  You also have to know a thing or two about the subject matter of your site.  You've got to be an all knowing oracle on your subject for your members as well as a project manager and team leader to your developers.    You start work earlyish each day.  I start at around 9am most days.  You work until late.  I can usually be found still typing away at 10pm or later and sometimes much, much later.  I finished working one morning at 3.30am earlier this week.  That's ludicrous!    And you work every day.  I generally work seven days a week.  I work on weekends, national holidays, easter, christmas day, every day.  Even when I take a vacation (haven't had a proper one for over two years now) I always take my laptop with me so I can stay in touch and sort out any catastrophes that may occur.  A few years back I spent six weeks away, in Hong Kong and in Australia, and worked every day from my hotel room.   There's always something important that needs to be done and in our case, there's a list of important stuff we are gradually working through.  Trouble is, as we sort out one problem and cross it off, another two join the list.   So there you have it dear reader.  Running a social network is very, very hard work and often a thankless task but it is addictive and a labour of love.  I can recommend it for those who have no families or other ties and who don't mind never having any free time ever again.   Hugs, Katie   x Your Sys Op    
    2773 Posted by Katie Glover
  • I don't know if you've ever thought about it but the life of a social network administrator is quite demanding.  You have to know about a lot of things, from email strategy to SEO, accounting, marketing and server administrating, from forum management to PHP programming and you need to know your HTML and CSS from soup to nuts (or know someone else who does).  You also have to know a thing or two about the subject matter of your site.  You've got to be an all knowing oracle on your subject for your members as well as a project manager and team leader to your developers.    You start work earlyish each day.  I start at around 9am most days.  You work until late.  I can usually be found still typing away at 10pm or later and sometimes much, much later.  I finished working one morning at 3.30am earlier this week.  That's ludicrous!    And you work every day.  I generally work seven days a week.  I work on weekends, national holidays, easter, christmas day, every day.  Even when I take a vacation (haven't had a proper one for over two years now) I always take my laptop with me so I can stay in touch and sort out any catastrophes that may occur.  A few years back I spent six weeks away, in Hong Kong and in Australia, and worked every day from my hotel room.   There's always something important that needs to be done and in our case, there's a list of important stuff we are gradually working through.  Trouble is, as we sort out one problem and cross it off, another two join the list.   So there you have it dear reader.  Running a social network is very, very hard work and often a thankless task but it is addictive and a labour of love.  I can recommend it for those who have no families or other ties and who don't mind never having any free time ever again.   Hugs, Katie   x Your Sys Op    
    May 11, 2011 2773
  • 24 Aug 2015
    Hello, I'm Kris and this will be my first blog post. I just joined this site recently and I've been really hesitent to joining the community because I come from a religious family... I'm currently trying to figure out if I am transgender, transsexual, or if I'm just going through gender identity... I shouldn't say just because even if it is that I absolutely can't stand it! Every time I'm called a she/her, pretty/beautiful I get upset... I hate that feeling because I know it's supposed to be a compliment, but I take it as an insult. I've been fighting this since I was a kid, but it didn't become that apparent until 8th grade. Anyway, I'd love to make friends on here and (off topic a bit) if anyone here has a wattpad account, let me know. :) I love to write and I one day hope my stories can be animated. 
    822 Posted by Kris McKinley
  • Hello, I'm Kris and this will be my first blog post. I just joined this site recently and I've been really hesitent to joining the community because I come from a religious family... I'm currently trying to figure out if I am transgender, transsexual, or if I'm just going through gender identity... I shouldn't say just because even if it is that I absolutely can't stand it! Every time I'm called a she/her, pretty/beautiful I get upset... I hate that feeling because I know it's supposed to be a compliment, but I take it as an insult. I've been fighting this since I was a kid, but it didn't become that apparent until 8th grade. Anyway, I'd love to make friends on here and (off topic a bit) if anyone here has a wattpad account, let me know. :) I love to write and I one day hope my stories can be animated. 
    Aug 24, 2015 822
  • 20 May 2011
    I'm feeling totally fk'd off with things right now. Since January i've had to put up with harassment & Abuse from an idiot neighbour of mine. It started with him ringing my bell at 2 in the morning & progressed to him actually ringing my front door bell in the earlt hours too. Since then, the dirty b*****d hyad left condoms outside my door, thrown eggs at my windows, Shoved some real SICK notes under my door, too sick to even repeat. So i got on to my local council & police ( several times) & to be honest they've done NOTHING to help sort my problems out.  Recently they came & fitted Strong Bolts to my door, then i actually felt SAFE in my own home. But today they dropped a bombshell on me by saying that the door they had added bolts to was a fire-door & they were gonna come and take them off. I have to say i was well & truly p*ssed off as this was the only thing stopping the tw@t from getting to my front door and to be told the bolts were coming off was a real kick in the teeth. Round here it seens like the rights of the abuser come before those of the victiim & that is not fair. The Council even offered me another place & i told them in no uncertain terms i was'nae moving  because they couldn't be bothered to move the Problem. I Have since been to a solicitor who's been a great help, & i've been advised that if this trouble carries on, that they can apply to the courts for an injunction/ Harassment order banning him from contacting or coming near me. I hope this does the trick becuase i'm not sure how much more i can take before i do summat i dont want to. One thing i DID hear was that this t*sser was wantin to move away, i just wish he would & i could suggest a place for him.....10 miles out to sea with pocketfuls of lead.     I'm feeling a tad happier now, but earlier today i could'nae stop cryin.
    2077 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  • I'm feeling totally fk'd off with things right now. Since January i've had to put up with harassment & Abuse from an idiot neighbour of mine. It started with him ringing my bell at 2 in the morning & progressed to him actually ringing my front door bell in the earlt hours too. Since then, the dirty b*****d hyad left condoms outside my door, thrown eggs at my windows, Shoved some real SICK notes under my door, too sick to even repeat. So i got on to my local council & police ( several times) & to be honest they've done NOTHING to help sort my problems out.  Recently they came & fitted Strong Bolts to my door, then i actually felt SAFE in my own home. But today they dropped a bombshell on me by saying that the door they had added bolts to was a fire-door & they were gonna come and take them off. I have to say i was well & truly p*ssed off as this was the only thing stopping the tw@t from getting to my front door and to be told the bolts were coming off was a real kick in the teeth. Round here it seens like the rights of the abuser come before those of the victiim & that is not fair. The Council even offered me another place & i told them in no uncertain terms i was'nae moving  because they couldn't be bothered to move the Problem. I Have since been to a solicitor who's been a great help, & i've been advised that if this trouble carries on, that they can apply to the courts for an injunction/ Harassment order banning him from contacting or coming near me. I hope this does the trick becuase i'm not sure how much more i can take before i do summat i dont want to. One thing i DID hear was that this t*sser was wantin to move away, i just wish he would & i could suggest a place for him.....10 miles out to sea with pocketfuls of lead.     I'm feeling a tad happier now, but earlier today i could'nae stop cryin.
    May 20, 2011 2077
  • 15 Nov 2011
    After many years of uncertainty and regret i have finally come to terms with myself. self acceptance if you will. i have seen my therapist twice as myself now and i am certain that i am making the right choice. i am choosing to live full time but it will be on a gradient. no more rushing in panic and haste. i have chosen to lay down the groundwork for my transition and through this course of action i hope the impact of my changes will be gradual and consistant. Acceptance from others plays a huge part but this, rather than fear inducing as it has been, acceptance has to come from within. if i am not confident or comfortable as i am then why would others be? i will come out in my own time and as i change from the male i was born into the woman i want to become i no longer feel the need to live up to others expectantions of me both male and female. we only get one life and i intend to live mine as i choose. i am more confident in public now and i am striving to achieve my goals. A simple matter of going to the cash point as a woman used to fill me with dread. now i see it as a thing to do, that must be done regardless and i achieve this by just doing it rather than think of all the negative things that can or will happen. sometimes our own minds keep us from moving forwards. acceptance is a something we strive for regardless of gender. i just don't want mine to get in the way. you can not tell how people will react but all you can do is live your life and deal with whatever happens on your terms. i hope to be living full time by next summer, the road ahead leads forwards and i will no longer want to go backwards or sideways although life has a habit of stopping you. its how i carry on that matters most. i have family and work to contend with but i know so long as i am true to myself and use my support mechanisms i can achieve anything. Acceptance is no longer the driving factor behind my life. Truth however is.   Faye. x
    1478 Posted by Faye Morrow
  • After many years of uncertainty and regret i have finally come to terms with myself. self acceptance if you will. i have seen my therapist twice as myself now and i am certain that i am making the right choice. i am choosing to live full time but it will be on a gradient. no more rushing in panic and haste. i have chosen to lay down the groundwork for my transition and through this course of action i hope the impact of my changes will be gradual and consistant. Acceptance from others plays a huge part but this, rather than fear inducing as it has been, acceptance has to come from within. if i am not confident or comfortable as i am then why would others be? i will come out in my own time and as i change from the male i was born into the woman i want to become i no longer feel the need to live up to others expectantions of me both male and female. we only get one life and i intend to live mine as i choose. i am more confident in public now and i am striving to achieve my goals. A simple matter of going to the cash point as a woman used to fill me with dread. now i see it as a thing to do, that must be done regardless and i achieve this by just doing it rather than think of all the negative things that can or will happen. sometimes our own minds keep us from moving forwards. acceptance is a something we strive for regardless of gender. i just don't want mine to get in the way. you can not tell how people will react but all you can do is live your life and deal with whatever happens on your terms. i hope to be living full time by next summer, the road ahead leads forwards and i will no longer want to go backwards or sideways although life has a habit of stopping you. its how i carry on that matters most. i have family and work to contend with but i know so long as i am true to myself and use my support mechanisms i can achieve anything. Acceptance is no longer the driving factor behind my life. Truth however is.   Faye. x
    Nov 15, 2011 1478
  • 25 Mar 2013
    Hi All,   So sorry this has been over a year in the writing, but the next stage of my story is here.   As I have explained in my earlier blogs, Mrs T and I hit a bit of an armageddon a few months back when I thought it was all over as I simply couldn't ignore Kati any longer. 13 years of a very happy marriage was great for both of us, but the suppression was slowly killing me. We talked stiltedly and decided that we ought to have a proper evening where we talked about the whole issue properly. This resulted in a massive awakening for both of us, and it turned out that a; I wasn't going to spring a transition onto my wife, and b; she wasn't really too bothered about my dressing.   Moving on a year, we are still not terribly comfortable talking about my alternative personality, but I do press the issue and we do talk rationally about it.   We recently went to a hotel where we talked long and openly about it, ending in me showing Mrs T a picture of me as Kati (although wearing an old discarded dress of hers, and not, as I had planned, wearing clothes that were nothing to do with our relationship.) This seemed to go very well, and we ended the evening intimately with both of us wearing some amount of clothing normally assigned to women. The next few days, however, were difficult and ended in Mrs T getting quite emotional and me realising that we had gone way too far way too fast. My desire to be me totally, overtook our desire to be a normal couple.   For now, we have taken a step back, but I am hopeful for the future.   With extra small steps, using Mrs T as a guide, we will get to somewhere where we are both happy and accepting. It is difficult for me, as I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel, but it is also difficult for Mrs T as she wants the tunnel not to end. In fact, she would prefer there were no tunnel to begin with, but is dealing with the fact that she will be in it for the forseeable future. I wish the tunnel were never even built and that both ends flowed seamlessly into each other.   It's a difficult time, but I know I am blessed with a loving wife who really does want to understand better. I am doing everything I can to help her, but must always remember that pushing her forward will only make us move backwards.   Tough old life, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Lots of love and hugs to you all.   Kati xxx
    2149 Posted by Kati Davies
  • Hi All,   So sorry this has been over a year in the writing, but the next stage of my story is here.   As I have explained in my earlier blogs, Mrs T and I hit a bit of an armageddon a few months back when I thought it was all over as I simply couldn't ignore Kati any longer. 13 years of a very happy marriage was great for both of us, but the suppression was slowly killing me. We talked stiltedly and decided that we ought to have a proper evening where we talked about the whole issue properly. This resulted in a massive awakening for both of us, and it turned out that a; I wasn't going to spring a transition onto my wife, and b; she wasn't really too bothered about my dressing.   Moving on a year, we are still not terribly comfortable talking about my alternative personality, but I do press the issue and we do talk rationally about it.   We recently went to a hotel where we talked long and openly about it, ending in me showing Mrs T a picture of me as Kati (although wearing an old discarded dress of hers, and not, as I had planned, wearing clothes that were nothing to do with our relationship.) This seemed to go very well, and we ended the evening intimately with both of us wearing some amount of clothing normally assigned to women. The next few days, however, were difficult and ended in Mrs T getting quite emotional and me realising that we had gone way too far way too fast. My desire to be me totally, overtook our desire to be a normal couple.   For now, we have taken a step back, but I am hopeful for the future.   With extra small steps, using Mrs T as a guide, we will get to somewhere where we are both happy and accepting. It is difficult for me, as I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel, but it is also difficult for Mrs T as she wants the tunnel not to end. In fact, she would prefer there were no tunnel to begin with, but is dealing with the fact that she will be in it for the forseeable future. I wish the tunnel were never even built and that both ends flowed seamlessly into each other.   It's a difficult time, but I know I am blessed with a loving wife who really does want to understand better. I am doing everything I can to help her, but must always remember that pushing her forward will only make us move backwards.   Tough old life, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Lots of love and hugs to you all.   Kati xxx
    Mar 25, 2013 2149
  • 09 Sep 2015
    Not  too  long ago  I  got  to  do something  I  have  not  done  since  I was 13 years  old and that was to walk  home  down an old  country  road . When I was  younger  I  lived  in Rual country and  my  friend  at the time  lived  2 Km from  home . I  recall it  like  yesturday  we  be walking  or  riding  our  bicycles  to  he's  home  or  mine . In winter we  would  cheat  by  walking  on the  lake  ice  because it  was  shorter  and  it  saved  time . A  few  day s ago  I got to  sort  of  relive one  of  my  old  childhood  memories only the  distance  was  much  farther  8  Km . In  my  day  we  wouild  stop  at this   house where   this  very  friendly man lived  and  he would  offer  us  cookies  and  water  from  his  outside  well with the  old  hand pump. on this  day   I  had  no  water  or  cookies  to  help  me  on my  long  journey home on foot . the  only  things  I  had  with  me  was  my  cell phone and  sun glasses and  I was  only  dressed  in  black silk  shorts , white  Tee   and water  shoes . that  long  walk  was  not  easy  for  someone  like  me  because  of  my  health problems Diebeties and  heart condition . I  know what  some  of  you  must  be  thinking  why  not  get a ride   from someone  ? call it  what  ever you want  pride, stubborness ,stupidty  I  choes  to  walk  because  I  know  I  can do this. this was  not  a  planned  walk  in  fact  it  was  done  because  I  had  been to  my  friends  house  by  means  of a  "Personal  Watercraft"  "PWC"  and  I  had  some  mechanical isues that had  I tried  to  return  home  with  it  would have  been  "life  threatning ". So  I  opted  to  walk  home  for the  good  of  my  health  and if  I  could  not  do it  I  could all ways  place a  call  for a ride . My  first  few  Km's   was  easy  because  of the  pine  trees  that  partly  shaded  the  road but  I was  not  long  after  that  I  incounered my  biggest  test  of  self  indurance.there  was a good  streach  of  open road  with  farming  fields  on each  side   and  as  you  walked  there  was  abit  of a  grade to the  road as  you went on .As  crazy  as  It  sounds  this was  a very  Hot  sunny  day  as the  temp was  over  34 C  with  very  to  no  wind  at times . As  I walked along  at a  good  pace   many things  when thru  my  mind mostly  of  movies  . I  had  stopped  4 times  to  rest   and  sit  for  10 mins  befor  moving  on down the road but  I  made it  home  !! Would  I  do it again ?....Hell  Yeah !! .....lol
    1027 Posted by Karen Tea
  • Not  too  long ago  I  got  to  do something  I  have  not  done  since  I was 13 years  old and that was to walk  home  down an old  country  road . When I was  younger  I  lived  in Rual country and  my  friend  at the time  lived  2 Km from  home . I  recall it  like  yesturday  we  be walking  or  riding  our  bicycles  to  he's  home  or  mine . In winter we  would  cheat  by  walking  on the  lake  ice  because it  was  shorter  and  it  saved  time . A  few  day s ago  I got to  sort  of  relive one  of  my  old  childhood  memories only the  distance  was  much  farther  8  Km . In  my  day  we  wouild  stop  at this   house where   this  very  friendly man lived  and  he would  offer  us  cookies  and  water  from  his  outside  well with the  old  hand pump. on this  day   I  had  no  water  or  cookies  to  help  me  on my  long  journey home on foot . the  only  things  I  had  with  me  was  my  cell phone and  sun glasses and  I was  only  dressed  in  black silk  shorts , white  Tee   and water  shoes . that  long  walk  was  not  easy  for  someone  like  me  because  of  my  health problems Diebeties and  heart condition . I  know what  some  of  you  must  be  thinking  why  not  get a ride   from someone  ? call it  what  ever you want  pride, stubborness ,stupidty  I  choes  to  walk  because  I  know  I  can do this. this was  not  a  planned  walk  in  fact  it  was  done  because  I  had  been to  my  friends  house  by  means  of a  "Personal  Watercraft"  "PWC"  and  I  had  some  mechanical isues that had  I tried  to  return  home  with  it  would have  been  "life  threatning ". So  I  opted  to  walk  home  for the  good  of  my  health  and if  I  could  not  do it  I  could all ways  place a  call  for a ride . My  first  few  Km's   was  easy  because  of the  pine  trees  that  partly  shaded  the  road but  I was  not  long  after  that  I  incounered my  biggest  test  of  self  indurance.there  was a good  streach  of  open road  with  farming  fields  on each  side   and  as  you  walked  there  was  abit  of a  grade to the  road as  you went on .As  crazy  as  It  sounds  this was  a very  Hot  sunny  day  as the  temp was  over  34 C  with  very  to  no  wind  at times . As  I walked along  at a  good  pace   many things  when thru  my  mind mostly  of  movies  . I  had  stopped  4 times  to  rest   and  sit  for  10 mins  befor  moving  on down the road but  I  made it  home  !! Would  I  do it again ?....Hell  Yeah !! .....lol
    Sep 09, 2015 1027